Lexa's POV
I wake up alone in my bed. The white curtain in the white room drawn to the side, directly allowing golden rays of sunshine to burn into my pupils.
Terrific. I wonder if Clarke was going to attend classes today. Just then she entered the room. Wearing a white V-neck shirt with dark blue jeans, she looked her absolute best.
"Hey Lexa, you're awake.", she smiled.
"Yeah..Will you be attending classes today?", I ask.
"No, I don't think I can. I practically dragged myself to medical in the morning and then to grab supplies for a new sheet and mattress.", she exhaled flopping on her bed tiredly.
"I like your boots", I say examining her footwear.
"Thanks you", she replies happily her smile breaking out into a grin.
"You could have woken me up, Clarke. I could have helped you. My classes start late today.", I worriedly state feeling useless.
"Nah, it's alright. Bittersweet pain, I actually kind of enjoyed it. I don't really know how to explain it. Plus, I got to watch you drool so that was fun.", Clarke pressed her lips together.
"Meanie. Next time I'll drool on your head and see how you find it funny.", I say chuckling and getting up.
"If you ever manage to wake up before I do, you may.", she replied clearly proud of her statement.
"I'll collect it in a small box and throw it on you.", What the hell was I saying.
"Disgusting, I'll kill you. Anyways, since you're a known waffle enthusiast I wanted to let you know they are being served in the cafeteria.", she smiled a 'you're welcome' and waited for a reaction.
A smile grew upon my face. Feeling like a kid in a candy shop. Yes, I had been waiting. My stomach grumbled instantly reminding me of how I didn't even bother with a proper dinner in my system.
"Your system sure reacts fast", Clarke teased raising an eyebrow. My breath hitched in my throat.
"Shut up!", I throw my head back in embarrassment.
Clarke and I walked into the cafeteria to see Monty and Octavia sitting on one of the tables.
"It is Wednesday my dudes..", Clarke quoted the video that was going viral all over social media of some random guy.
"Yo, thanks for not dying yesterday.", Octavia's fist collided with Clarke's as a victory sign.
"We were worried but Raven said you were being taken care of very well", Monty smiled exchanging glances between us. Clarke's cheeks turned crimson and I'm pretty sure so did mine.
"Yeah well Raven's right, as always", Clarke said as her stare lingered onto me.
"I'll go get pancakes-, I mean waffles", I laugh nervously as anxiety dug a pit into my stomach.
Walking away I couldn't help but tug on the red sleeves of my shirt. Was Clarke into me or no? She seemed pretty frank with everyone and now that she's in a relationship my chances are slim to none. Will seems like a nice guy but I'm pretty sure my internalised jealously is just acting up to shade him as a fuckboy. Since none of us know him pretty well, not even Clarke knows him that well but she jumped into a relationship with him. That seemed very un-Clarke like, I thought to myself. It then dawned upon me that I myself barely knew anything about Clarke. Sure we were best friends in the past but the probability of her being the exact same wasn't very good. So many questions, so many duties. I couldn't pick a right moment to tell Clarke about my identity. I don't know what kind of reaction will be thrown my way, if it'll be acception or rejection. Overthinking kills each and every bead of motivation that builds up my confidence. It feels like a lifetime to gather up the courage to even look at her in the eye and takes a few seconds to fall apart. Maybe some secrets are better off untold. The thought sort of calmed my nerves, I tried pulling my cowardly self together. Walking back to the table with two plates to hear Octavia ask.
"So how's Will? Where has he been?"
My gaze curiously flickered to Monty and Octavia.
Clarke suddenly seemed nervous.
"Uh, yeah um, he said he was busy with his rugby practice this morning.", she replied tucking away a strand of blonde behind her ear.
"What about last night? Where was he then?", I ask in a disapproving tone stuffing my mouth with food.
"I don't know, Lexa. I didn't bother back then I was in too much pain.", Clarke replied irritably.
I blinked a few times before deciding to drop the topic. Clarke got up to throw the trash.
"It was good seeing you all. I'm going back to my room.", Clarke informs sighing.
"If anything comes up just text us and we'll be there to help you. Even if it's class or something, don't hesitate.", Monty smiles reassuringly.
"Yeah", Octavia and I say a bit too loud.
"Thanks", Clarke smiled sadly, a small wave as she walked away.
I sigh and put down my fork.
"Something is not right", I gulp confused.
"Yeah, starting with the fact Will lied about rugby practice, he's been smoking all morning with his friends on the bleachers.", Monty whispered leaning forward between Octavia and I.
"What a dick? Also, I didn't know we were allowed to smoke on campus?", Octavia gaped.
I felt my body tense up. He was lying to her. Why would he do that? Other than that, his girlfriend was in a painful state and he didn't give two shits to check up on her. My fingers angrily grasped onto the table, my breathing getting heavier. Rage built up inside and I walked out the cafeteria to go out into the field. I was about to step out till I realised that Will stood near the door with two of his friends. Pressing my back against the door I decided to wait a few seconds for my anger to cool off before I had a conversation with him. Till then it was me some what eavesdropping on their conversation unintentionally.
"Hey man, heard you're dating that hot chick?", an unfamiliar voice said loudly in a congratulatory tone.
My senses alert as to fully pay attention.
"Oh yeah, it's that hot chick in the pre-med section", Will laughed and I heard a clap as in to figure someone probably high fived.
"Score! Though word is going around that your girl collapsed in the hallway yesterday or some scary shit?", one of them asked Will again.
My jaw clenched, 'his girl', screw that. I took a deep breath and pressed my ear further on the door.
"Dude, apparently it was something completely gross, disgusting. She texted me that she was on her period and she wasn't well and all. I was like 'yikes why are you telling me', it's annoying. Especially in this state women should keep to themselves and stay away from men.", my eyebrows furrowed in confusion and disbelief.
How dumb could this guy even get? This was unacceptable.
"I understand, bro. So she's just a fling?", a acquaintance once again asked him a question I wanted to hear the answer to, or did I?
"A fling, a temporary fix, whatever you call it. I'm not looking for a relationship. First instinct was to choose Clarke as she's kind of popular around here and I could use that.", he went on and on but I refused to listen.
He was going to break her heart and the thought of that shattered mine. I couldn't let that happen. Screw everything. Rage took over me and I stepped into view. Will stood in the middle with two guys by his side, they looked over at me.
"Hey hottie", one of them winked. Disgusted, I flipped him off. I angrily stared at the two puppets as to notify them that they should leave as soon as possible.
"See you later, dude", the two guys looked onto Will before my bitter gaze continued to follow them till they disappeared.
"Ah yes, disaster girl, to what do I owe this pleasure?", he smiled cockily.
"Listen here you son of a bitch, stay the fuck away from Clarke.", I say stepping forward, my voice low and stern.
"Oh and why would I do that? Cause' you said so? Who even are you? Lexa Worm?"
"Woods", I say sternly. How dare he disrespect my surname?
"Worm.", he chuckled clearly enjoying.
"I heard everything, you're a sick bastard.", I say grabbing his collar and shoving him into the wall he stood against.
A expression of pain crossed his face for a second, then a smile and he erupted into fits of laughter.
How could he find any of this funny?
"I'm not scared of you. Not even a little bit. You know why? I may be a prick, the most horrible human ever, I'd be better than you. By the way, were you eavesdropping?", he realised and his blue eyes sharply pierced into my green ones.
"I was passing by", I lied gulping.
Keep a straight face. Don't let him overpower you. He's the culprit here.
"You can't lie, Lexa. Stop lying to me. To yourself, to Clarke, to everyone.", he said digging his hands in his pocket casually, it enraged me. My fist was wrapped tightly around his collar grasping it and pinning him against the wall.
"What are you talking about?", I gritted angrily.
"I may or may not have found a diary, no wait, a journal, brown cover, jet black heart poured into it. I always knew you were a disaster, Lexa.", he spat bitterly putting his finger to his lip imitating the action as if he was in deep thought.
No, this couldn't be happening. How could he have had read my journal? It's always with me.
"Dorm change. Shifted to your room. Side table drawer. A sadistic little book. Awh, you're so broken." he fake wiped a tear, a evil smirk played on his non existent lips.
In that moment my grip on his shirt loosened, my lungs felt like they lost their functioning, I couldn't breathe. The only thing I could hear was my heartbeat in my ears. Shakily taking a step back, I looked down, running my hand through my hair. I tried recalling everything. That day I was so worried about Clarke being unwell I shifted to the dorm hurriedly, forgot my fucking journal. Out of all places to forget it had to be Will's room.
"Tell you what, mind your own shit. I bet you wouldn't want Clarke to find out like this, through me.", he whispered stepping closer.
"No", I looked up with tears blurring my vision, desperation in my voice.
"Good. Since you heard my 'fuckboy' material conversation I think we both have some important secrets to seal. Right?", he confirmed.
As much as I hated the fact that he had power over me and was taking advantage of how vulnerable I was in this situation, I lightly nodded.
"Your anger is supposed to be in control and you're supposed to stay away from both, Clarke and I.", he reminded the last part as if I already didn't know. A playful scoff escaped his mouth before he turned on his heel and left.
A few tears spilled through my eyes as I fell to my knees. My heart felt like it escalated to my throat. I wiped my forehead that sweat profusely as a result of a panic reaction, I could feel myself go hot and cold at the same time. This wasn't good. Shaky hands found their way for me to sit against the wall. Hugging my knees close to my chest. Quivering, I try to gain control over my respiratory system somehow. Nausea dominating its way in my system as I worried about how much could be lost if Will revealed who I was to Clarke. What would she think of me? What would our whole group of friends think of me? Alec was right, I should have told her earlier. Now I can't even go near her without that bastard keeping an eye on me. Not now, not after all that I've been through. This wasn't happening. Not to me. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this.