Chapter 10 – Ignorance is bliss

AN – It's been quite a while since I've posted and I must admit that I have missed you guys! I actually haven't been watching Arrow (bad fan, I know) but I did catch last night's ep and had to write this quick little tag to get rid of Ray! No beta so pls excuse my mistakes!

DISCLAIMER – Despite my hiatus, still no legal claim!

SPOILER WARNING – This is an episode tag to 3x17 Suicidal Tendencies (US air date of 3/25/15) so expect there to be some spoilers!

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Ray was firmly entrenched on the side of Team Arrow and was working to build on his partnership with Felicity. It hadn't all been smooth sailing though as Oliver had set ways of doing things and his Team was on his side. They did argue amongst themselves but they still stuck together. Ray had often found himself the odd man out and despite his genius IQ he couldn't always see things their way…or persuade them to his own point of view.

Felicity sided with her Team and had told him only to trust her, trust Oliver, trust Team Arrow. She wouldn't reveal much about their pasts together or separately though to explain why he should trust them or why they trusted each other. He had done his own research and traced the Vigilante's path to the Green Arrow though. He also took the time to plot out the intersections with each of other Team Arrow members and how all of their lives had changed. He had even learned a lot from Oliver himself – not his words but his actions.

Saving the city had seemed like such a lofty goal in Ray's mind. He could see himself flying through the air saving the day, making a difference in his city. He could see himself standing proud and tall with Felicity at his side as his partner. He had thought that was how it would work until that first bruising interaction with the Green Arrow. Still though, Oliver had given him a chance to prove himself and he had grasped it with both hands.

Saving the city wasn't as glorious or glamorous as he had thought and Ray's ego had taken several more hits. It was actually very dark, very dirty, very frustrating work and it hurt. His intelligence and technology wasn't always a match for training or even sheer will. Various encounters with the League of Assassins had proven that point and it had been more than his ego that had bruised.

He had learned a lot though and had even told Felicity that when he bragged that he was deciphering the Team's code of half sentences. She had laughed and teased him that she had learned a lot too when she had first joined the Team but she didn't go into details. Ray took her teasing in stride as he was proud of his accomplishments with the Team and he knew that Felicity was proud of him too. It still wasn't what he had expected it to be though.

It still seemed like there was something that he was missing, some puzzle piece still hidden from him. Ray was used to solving puzzles easily and this nagging mystery frustrated him. Even more frustrating was the feeling that that one small piece could change everything.

When the puzzle piece fell into place, it did change everything. For once in his life, Ray wished for the bliss of ignorance…

Diggle and Harper were demonstrating some hand-to-hand combat moves as they still didn't believe his suit was sufficient protection. Ray wasn't sure he believed them but he had been curious so he conceded to the lesson. He found it strange that Oliver didn't lead it but was instead alternating between hanging from the rafters doing crunches and moving easily up the salmon ladder. Another blow to his ego was just how good Oliver Queen really was.

Ignoring the gut feeling that his ego was about to take another hit, Ray tried to focus on the sparring match in front of him but Felicity caught his attention. She was chewing on a pen and simply staring at Oliver as he trained. It wasn't a lustful look as she seemed almost unaware of it but still it bothered him. It didn't seem to bother Oliver though. The man even paused for a moment to catch Felicity's eyes and smile at her. She grinned back and then suddenly went back to work in a flurry of movement.

Ray recognized the look on her face – she had just had a breakthrough on something and he was intrigued. Before he could speak to her, Oliver dropped to the ground and moved to her side. The pair spoke for several moments before both Oliver nodded, squeezed her shoulder and moved to the salmon ladder. Felicity continued to smile even though her focus was back on her computer as she went back to work.

Frowning, Ray reminded himself that Oliver and Felicity were just friends. Felicity was his partner and even Oliver had told him that she had chosen him. Pushing his doubt aside, he threw himself into learning from an ex-soldier and former street kid.

It was several nights later after another hard training session that he asked the right question…or the wrong one.

"Felicity mentioned that it has been over two years since you killed anyone. Who was that unlucky last guy?" Ray was simply curious, not judgmental as even his own world contained more gray areas than it had before he had hooked up with Felicity and Team Arrow. He continued to chug water and wipe the sweat from his face so it took a moment for him to notice the silence. Glancing around the room, he found both Diggle and Harper staring at Queen who continued to pound the training dummy with a vengeance.

After another moment of silence it was Diggle who spoke in a quiet voice.

"The Count. You remember Vertigo? Innocent people dying from a vaccine?"

Ray's quick mind pulled up the facts from memory and he released a low whistle as he repeated them. "Three arrows to the chest before a plunge from the executive floor at QC. Vertigo was enough to get that death sentence or did he figure out your secret?"

While it was true that Felicity was his, Ray couldn't resist taking shots at the great Oliver Queen whenever possible even though the man never reacted. This time Oliver reacted though. Ray watched as he froze in place, mid-strike, before turning slowly to glance at Felicity before turning to stare at him.

There was a deep, angry fire blazing from Oliver's eyes and Ray actually stepped back. While the Vigilante may have had an emotional drive for revenge, the Green Arrow had become about justice. It seemed more like a job, a duty more than a passion. Whatever the Count had done though clearly evoked an emotional reaction from Oliver though. Ray conceded defeat by giving the man a quick nod before stepping back once more. The quiet, growling words surprised him and they seemed to be immediately burned into Ray's mind as was the image of Oliver Queen saying them as he stared through him.

"He had Felicity. There was no choice to make."

Ray stopped asking questions then and tried to trust in Felicity and his own feelings but that final puzzle piece had finally clicked into place and the image before him had changed irrevocably. He stayed for several more weeks but then he conceded defeat once more. He spoke to Felicity first and told her that he was leaving to help an old friend and that he didn't know when he would return.

It was a lie but he found that he couldn't actually speak any harsh words to the woman he loved. He did tell her that he loved her though and she said the same. Ray knew that Felicity wanted to love him, wanted to be his partner and she had tried. However, he also knew that it was lie. She didn't lie to him but she did lie to herself – she still had feelings for Oliver. Felicity was Oliver's partner, not his.

It was Oliver that he gave the truth to even though both Diggle and Harper witnessed it as well.

"I'm leaving…for good. I've already told Felicity. The company can be yours again."

He paused but no questions came. As Diggle approached though he remembered the man's threat about no one finding his body if he ever hurt Felicity. Now that Ray knew the man better he knew that the threat wasn't an idle one.

"I didn't want to hurt Felicity but I'm not the one she loves and I can't stay here knowing that." Ray watched as Diggle nodded and stopped his forward motion. Turning slightly, he saw Oliver was still very much a threat but Ray's own anger and pain wouldn't be denied.

"You told me that she chose me…what you didn't tell me was that you took yourself out of the running. There was no choice in Felicity's mind as I was the only one making the offer."

For once, Ray was able to see the emotions flicker across the other man's face – pain, guilt, love, hope. The man before him wasn't the Arrow, he wasn't the CEO, he was simply a man in love with a woman. Ray might have sympathized with him if Oliver didn't love the same woman that he loved.

"You need to make a decision and stick with it. The next guy, and there will be a next guy, may be okay being her second choice. What will you do then? What will you do when she really does choose someone else and walks away from you completely?"

Seeing his parting shot hit home as pain and even fear and desperation flashed in the Oliver's eyes, Ray allowed himself a final smirk before he turned and walked away.

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AN2 - So I am considering updating my M rated stories on Archive of Our Own or starting fresh. Any thoughts or requests for some fun Olicity smut? ;) I never promise results but I'm open to suggestions as I continue to ignore Ray, Laurel and anything else that seeks to derail my fun Team Arrow Olicity fantasy world! Thanks for reading!