Ohhh…final part…what's he gonna do?
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Frodo slowly raised the blade to rest on his left wrist. Stabilizing the blade with his thumb, he quickly drew the blade back, slicing open some of his wrist in a thin slash. Some blood began to well out, but not much. Frodo already knew he would have to cut more than once, but the pain for just once was so harsh he was unsure he could get up enough to do it again and again.
No, he knew it would take to long. He would have to end it quickly, just one slash, to end it. One slash…or one stab? His heart would only take one quick stab and he would die. It was a more viable option.
He positioned the tip of the blade over his fiercely beating heart, preparing himself to make the killing stroke, to push the blade deep into his own flesh and send him on to death's domain…
Deep in her dreams, Eowyn felt something move lightly past her. For some reason, it didn't feel right. She came to full consciousness, opening her eyes and letting them adjust to the darkness of the cave. She glanced around at her sleeping companions, noting with not much fear one was missing. Turning around to lie back down, she caught a glance of a figure in the moonlight clutching a dagger, dying sliver moonlight glinting off the blade.
She was about to rouse Faramir and reach for her sword when she realised the figure was Frodo. What was he doing? Before her eyes she watched as he lifted the dagger to his wrist and cut. Horrifying realisation came, and Eowyn sprang out of her blankets and out of the cave, running lightly down to the depressed figure.
She wasn't far behind him when she saw him position the blade over his heart, to make the killing stab.
"Frodo?"
Frodo turned, the blade still over his heart. Seeing Eowyn made him come swiftly and suddenly back reality, as he fell to his knees and dropped the blade. She ran to him and knelt down.
"What were you doing?"
Frodo tried to speak, tried to tell Eowyn what it was that was in his thoughts, but as he did, the mask of calmness he had been wearing shattered. Frodo just shook his head as tears started to fall.
Eowyn felt pity for this Hobbit, who had been thrown into things where he didn't belong, given tasks he should have never had to endure. She put her arms around the crying form, trying to provide some comfort. She waited while Frodo calmed down enough to speak. He stopped shaking, and she took away her arms so she could talk to him.
"Frodo, what were you doing?" she asked softly.
"Trying to end it." The reply was almost a whisper.
"Why?"
Frodo collected his thoughts to answer. "Because I…I…thought it would stop the danger."
Eowyn did a slight double take. "Stop the danger?"
Frodo sighed. He didn't want to explain.
"If I die, everything is over. Melkor can't get my blood, if it is washed away by the river or soaks into the earth. I wanted to keep the others out of harm. I've done it before – I led them into danger. They almost died. I didn't want to do it again."
She embraced him again. Eowyn smiled, though Frodo couldn't see. Always thinking of others before himself. She wondered what Sam might say, if he was here.
"Why didn't you tell anyone? We need to trust each other, Frodo."
"And I do, fully. I didn't know what you would say or think. I didn't want to be stopped. I knew if I spoke out, I would be watched, like some sort of animal. This was my one chance."
"Which I ruined. But I think you might be glad I was here, when you think about it. Did you really want to give everything up?"
"No, but I didn't want anyone else to, either. To die in a battle, in a war…"
"…is honour. Those who go to fight know that."
Frodo sighed again. "You're right. I just…didn't want to repeat anything. I never thought anything like this would happen again."
Eowyn placed a gentle hand on Frodo's shoulder. "We never do, but must face it when it does. We must do what is required of us."
The pair were quiet for a while longer, before Frodo spoke again.
"Eowyn, Shieldmaiden of Rohan, do you know what today is?"
"No, Master Hobbit, I do not."
"It is the 25th day of March. Exactly a year."
Since what? Eowyn thought for a moment.
"The Ring?"
"The destruction of it. A year today." He fell silent, his right hand rubbing the stump on his left. "One year…"
As he did, Eowyn noticed the slash from the dagger. She reached over and rolled his hand palm upwards, to look at it better.
"Deep, but not too deep. It will heal, but you might be left was a thin scar. Wait here." She ran back to the cave and gathered some of the Companions' medical supplies.
Putting a little Athelas on the gash, she wound a small, light bandage around his wrist and fastened it. "There. That should hear fine."
Frodo pulled down his sleeve so the bandage was covered. "I don't think I should tell the others. At least, not yet."
"Then I will not utter a word either. Come, there are still a few hours before our comrades will arouse themselves."
She stood, as Frodo did the same. He picked up the dropped dagger, and took it over to the waterfall, where he carefully washed his own blood from the blade, before drying it on his shirt.
The two Companions walked back to the cave and back to their blankets. Frodo replaced the dagger, and Eowyn smiled at him. He returned the gesture as she closed her eyes, regaining sleep for a few more hours.
Frodo went back to his own makeshift bed, but lying down did not sleep. He was not the only one.
Having heard the conversation that took place between Shieldmaiden and Hobbit, Merry also lay awake; worried for his thoughtful cousin.
It was a year, a year since Frodo had undergone such turmoil with the Ring, a year since he and Sam faced Mordor. Merry knew it all, had often wondered what Frodo thought and remembered, but had never talked to him about it. He knew he would have to talk to Frodo, for the memory of the conversation would not fade willingly.
"Frodo?"
"Merry? Why are you awake this early?"
Merry decided to skip a reply. "Frodo, I heard your conversation with Eowyn."
Frodo immediately broke his eye contact with Merry and looked down at the cave floor. Merry felt a little guilty for coming out with it, as it obviously took his cousin by surprise, and Frodo did not look as if he wanted to talk about it. Merry came and sat next to Frodo.
"Frodo…look, we're all here because we choose to be. You didn't get us into it, nor did anyone play a part in us making up our minds. Our own minds. We choose to be here, with you. If you go, we go. If you stay, we stay. I would go mad sitting in Brandy Hall and wondering what could be happening."
Frodo stayed quiet, so Merry continued. "You're my cousin, you're Pip's cousin, and you're a brother to Sam. We all trust you, and you, I pray, trust us. You don't lead, we don't follow. We walk together. We are all free to make our own decisions. I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Thank you, Merry. That's made me feel a lot better."
"I hope it has. If you died, we wouldn't be saved, we would be punished. Do you think we would ever be able to forgive ourselves?"
"But there would be nothing to forgive…"
"We would think it was our fault, just as you think it is your fault we are here. To one, there is nothing, to the other, everything. You see guilt where I see none. I see guilt where you see none."
"Yes, yes, you're right."
"And I know today is the one year anniversary, but don't dwell on it. It's in the past. Remember it, yes, but don't spend every minute of every day thinking of it. Look, we love you, Frodo, all of us do."
"And I all of you. I'm sorry."
"What are you apologizing for? There is nothing to forgive."
The two cousins embraced. Merry smiled at Frodo, who smiled back.
"Just don't tell Sam or Pip. I don't want everyone thinking I'm depressed or anything. I'm not, really. You and Eowyn have changed that."
"We have? Good. Well, we're all here, if you ever need us."
"Yes, you always have. You and your family…after…"
"Do you mean Drogo and Primula? Yes, it was unfortunate."
"That means I've known you longest, does it not? You grew up with me at Brandy Hall."
"You mean I grew, and you were there, because you had already grown! Honestly, sometimes I forget our ages. You act younger than yours sometimes…"
"…and you act older than yours, sometimes."
The dawn turned to morning, and sunlight entered the cave. Merry and Frodo continued to remember their childhoods, until the sleeping companions began to rouse themselves from their restful sleep.
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Nice ending. See? It didn't turn out bad.
Next Chapter Sneak-Peak: Something's coming…story turning point…