Crystal POV
In the choir room
We are rehearsing for Sectionals.
"Five, six, seven, eight. Step ball change, step, step, unh and seven, eight. Step ball change, step, step, unh, You guys go. Step ball..." Mr. Schuester said
Mr. Schuester stops and turns around to look at us. He sees Brittany standing on a chair filming our routine.
"Brittany?" Mr. Schuester asked
"Coach Sylvester didn't tell me to do this." Brittany said
I roll my eyes.
In the auditorium
The Jane Addams girls are onstage, stretching, and we are in the seats, watching.
"Okay, guys, so first of all I want to welcome Ms. Hitchens and the Jane Addams glee club. We're all very happy to have you guys here. So, um, we're going to let you guys start us off. Let's see what you got." Mr. Schuester said
Mr. Schuester leaves the stage and goes to sit with us.
"Hit it." Ms. Hitchens said
The Jane Addams girls perform "Bootylicious".
Quinn and I grab Finn's hands to stop him from clapping.
In the choir room
I was wearing this:
We are all sitting in the choir room while Brittany and Santana mock the Jane Addams girls. Mr. Schuester comes in the room with a bag.
"All right, guys. I did some thinking last night. I think I found our new number for Sectionals. We're going to do the title song from 'Hair'. Now, this show started a revolution." Mr. Schuester said
"Wait, did they have mohawks back then? Like in the 20's or whatever?" Puck asked
"Yeah, Mr. Shue, if we're going to do a song about hair, shouldn't we have more hair?" Finn asked
"One step ahead of you. Here are your wigs." Mr. Schuester said
He throws the bag on the ground.
"Mr. Schuester?" Rachel asked
Rachel and Mr. Schuester talk in private and the boys put on their wigs.
"Looking great, guys!" Mr. Schuester said, laughing
In the hallway
Puck, Quinn, and I are walking in the hallway. Puck hands me a book titled, "How To Raise A Baby on Five Dollars A Day".
"Saw it in a bookstore. Figured I'd steal it for you. You know, in case you change your minds and decide you want to keep them." Puck said
"That is so sweet." I said
"To be honest, we really don't know what we're going to do about it anymore. Our minds are pretty messed up about everything." Quinn said
"Well, whatever you decide. No pressure." Puck said
Puck leaves.
In the choir room
'Thank god for Puck. Thanks to him, I'm starting to realize that what I need right now, even more than looser pants, is acceptance.'
Everyone dancing in the choir room, while Quinn and I sit Indian-style on the stairs.
'Everyone is putting so much pressure on us. It's so easy for them to be distracted. We don't have that luxury. We are under siege.'
Flashback
I was wearing this:
Quinn, Mrs. Schuester, Kendra, and I are in a car.
"You don't drink diet soda, do you? Because the phosphoric acid causes male pattern baldness." Mrs. Schuester said
Quinn rolls her eyes.
"Our babies are girls." Quinn said
"Women go bald, too." Mrs. Schuester said
"You worry too much, Terri. Mom smoked and drank a bottle of riuniti on ice every night when she was pregnant with us and we're totally normal. Just take your vitamins, stay out of the hot tub, and avoid rum-based drinks, and you'll be fine." Kendra said
Present
'Maybe the problem isn't that we don't want to keep the babies. The problem is that we don't want to keep the babies with Finn. Maybe we didn't give Puck enough of a chance. He is the real dad, after all. Finn would freak if Quinn and I started spending time with Puck though. We need to distract him so that we can take Puck for a test drive. But how?'
I look at Rachel.
'Mm, forget about it. She looks like a five year old. Still, maybe with a little bit of makeup...'
In the hallway
Kurt is walking in the hallway and Quinn and I walk up to him.
"Hey, Kurt, can we pick your pink brain for a second?" Quinn asked
"Why hello, Quinn, Crystal. To what do I owe the honor? I do believe this is the first time you've ever spoken to me." Kurt said
"I'm sorry about that. Anyways, we have a proposition to make: A makeover." I said
"I'm in! Makeovers are like crack to me." Kurt said
"Uh-huh." I said
"My suggestion... Spanx. Or double-knit camisoles with control tops for the baby bumps. Also, babydoll dresses–dead giveaway." Kurt said
"Not for us, for Rachel." Quinn said
"Why would I want to do that? I admit I like a challenge as much as the next guy, but Rachel somehow manages to dress like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time." Kurt said
"Our point exactly. You're as concerned about the glee club succeeding as we are, and she's a distraction. Look at her. She's wearing a pantsuit." Quinn said
We look over at Rachel, who is wearing a bright blue pantsuit, at her locker.
"Don't you think the judges are going to take one look at her and maybe want to knock her down a peg or two?" I asked
"And to think... I thought you two were dumb cheerleaders. Deal." Kurt said
Quinn and I smirk at each other.
At the Schuester house
Quinn, Mrs. Schuester, Kendra, and I are sitting on the couch.
"How could you bring them here? What if he saw them?" Mrs. Schuester asked
"You're gonna want to hear this. I gave little miss peroxide my phone number In case of an emergency, and she called to drop the bomb on me." Kendra said
"What? What bomb? What is it?" Mrs. Schuester asked
"We're keeping our babies." Quinn and I said
In the hallway
"Hey, Crystal, Quinn. I, uh, wanted to ask your permission to maybe do something on Friday night, if..." Finn started
"Oh, that's fine. We're babysitting anyways." Quinn said
"Oh, cool. I'll see ya." Finn said
Finn leaves and Quinn and I go up to Puck.
"Hey, what are you doing on Friday?" I asked
"Just the usual. Was going to stand outside the 7-eleven looking depressed until someone offered to buy me beer, but what's going on?" Puck asked
"You wanna maybe babysit with us?" I asked
Puck smiles and nods.
In the choir room
We are sitting, the guys wearing their wigs, while Brittany stands in front of us with Mr. Schuester.
"Some of you, particularly the guys, have come up to me with some questions about hairography. One of our own has volunteered to walk us through it. She has got it down. Brittany, take it away." Mr. Schuester said
Mr. Schuester motions for her to start but Brittany looks confused.
"Take what away?" Brittany asked
"Show us what you got." Mr. Schuester said
"Oh. All right. So, hairography. It works best when you pretend like you're getting tasered. So you just move your head around like you're spazzing and stuff." Brittany said
Brittany unties her ponytail and whips her hair around.
"Very nice." Mr. Schuester said
"Wow." We all said
"You guys, it's like cool epilepsy." Brittany said
We all start whipping our hair.
"Come on, guys. Let's see what you got. Good, guys, yeah. Just relax and go for it, all right." Mr. Schuester said
Mr. Schuester leaves and we continue to practice hairography.
"My neck, my back." Mike said
We hear Coach Sylvester and Mr. Schuester yelling at each other and we stop practicing and start gathering by the door.
"I resent that accusation, William. And one I understand you've been making to our friends at Haverbrook and Jane Addams. And it's an outrageous affront to my sterling reputation! That being said, fine, I have been checking up on you. Because I don't like what's going on in there. Do you know why I make each of my cheerios wear her hair pulled back in a ponytail? Because I don't want to distract from her impeccable talent. You seem to be taking the opposite approach, Will. And that leads me to believe you know your kids don't have what it takes." Coach Sylvester said
"I believe in my kids." Mr. Schuester said
"Well, maybe in the beginning, but not now. Now that you've seen the competition that threatens your very position at this school! You're going to get me an updated set list by 5:00 tomorrow. And if there's anything on that list that involves demeaning, fruity hair tossing, I'm cutting it!" Coach Sylvester said
"I will not let you dictate my number choices. And you are not getting that list." Mr. Schuester said
"Well, then I'm back as co-director." Coach Sylvester said
Coach Sylvester leaves and Mr. Schuester sighs.
"Okay, guys, from the top." Mr. Schuester said
At the Schuester house
Quinn, Puck, and I are tied up, sitting in a triangle, while Kendra's kids are running around and yelling.
"I told you we should have been the cowboys." I said, annoyed
"My bad." Puck said, distracted
Puck was texting someone but I don't know who.
"What are we gonna do about this? Who are you texting?!" Quinn asked
"Uh, Mike Chang. He's got wig problems." Puck said
"Well, put the phone down and help me with this knot. I've almost got it. You too Crystal." Quinn said
Quinn and my hands flail for a bit until Puck grabs our hands and we pause. We untie the knot and stand up, trying to calm the kids down.
"Stop that! Not the table! Think of something!" Quinn said
She grabs a pillow from one of the kids.
"I brought my guitar. Why don't we sing them a lullaby?" Puck asked
"Give me this. Hey, kids, look at me." I said
The kids stop for a minute.
"Want to see a real live music video?" I asked
"Yeah. Okay." The kids said
Puck plays guitar while Quinn and I sing "Papa Don't Preach".
Quinn:
Papa, I know you're going to be upset
Cause I was always your little girl
But you should know by now
I'm not a baby
Crystal:
You always taught me
Right from wrong
I need your help
Daddy, please be strong
I may be young at heart
But I know what I'm saying
Quinn:
The one you
Warned me all about
Crystal:
The one you said
I could do without
Quinn and Crystal:
We're in an awful mess
And I don't mean maybe
Please,
Papa, don't preach.
I'm in trouble deep
Papa, don't preach.
I've been losing sleep
But I made up my mind.
I'm keeping my baby
Ooh, I'm gonna keep my baby mmmm
The kids are awestruck.
"Sing it again." One of the kids said
Later
The kids are sleeping in one of the beds. Mrs. Schuester, Kendra, Quinn, Puck, and I watch them. Mrs. Schuester and Kendra look shocked.
"I think this is the first time they have all been asleep at the same time. What's that smell?" Kendra asked
"Soap." I said
The two adults snap their heads towards me.
"You got them to take a bath?" Mrs. Schuester asked
Quinn and I nod.
"What are you, exorcists?" Kendra asked
A few minutes later
Puck, Quinn, and I walk out of the house.
"You two were awesome tonight." Puck said
"I was surprised at how I kinda enjoyed it." I said
"I was worried about you at first. You seemed distracted, all that texting to Mike." Quinn said
"Distracted? I was the opposite, babes. I was totally into it. All I know is we proved something tonight: This parenting thing? We can do this." Puck said
In the hallway
Quinn and I are standing at Quinn's locker. Santana comes up to us and slams Quinn's locker shut.
"Keep your paws off my man. Clear?" Santana asked
Santana scoffs at us.
"Who's your man?" Quinn asked
"Don't play stupid, tubbers. Oh, and for the record, asking someone to babysit with you is super '90s." Santana said
"I happen to know that Puck cares about us." I said
"Oh, wake up! While you three were babysitting, Puck and I were sexting." Santana said
"Sexting?" Quinn asked
"Sexy texting. Seriously, what era are you from? While you three were 'playing house', Puck and I were trading super-hot texts. Why don't you check his cell phone? 'cause my sexts are too hot to erase." Santana said
Santana leaves.
In the choir room
The Haverbrook School for the Deaf Glee kids are in the choir room with us.
"Thank you all for coming. We are so honored to have you guys here. So, without further ado, I present the New Directions." Mr. Schuester said
We perform the mash-up "Hair/Crazy in Love".
Artie:
Yes, it's so crazy right now
Most incredibly, it's ya boy Artie
It's ya girl Mercedes
Mercedes:
You ready, hey
New Direction Girls:
Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no
Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no
Mercedes:
I look and stare so deep in your eyes
I touch on you more and more every time
When you leave I'm begging you not to go
Call your name two or three times in a row
Artie:
I'm hairy high and low
Don't ask me why I don't know
Oooh
Mercedes with New Directions:
Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's
Got me looking so crazy right now (New Directions Girls: In love)
Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch
Got me looking so crazy right now (New Directions: Got my hair crazy right now)
Artie with New Directions:
Give me a head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming (Mercedes: Ooohh)
Streaming, flaxen, waxen
Mercedes with New Directions:
Got me hoping you'll page me right now, your kiss
Got me hoping you'll save me right now
Looking so crazy in love's
Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love (New Directions: Got my hair crazy right now)
Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's (Mercedes: Hey)
Got me looking so crazy right now (Mercedes: Hey) (New Directions Girls: Your love's)
Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch (Mercedes: Your love)
Got me looking so crazy right now
Artie with New Directions:
Down to here
Down to there
Down to there
Down to where it stops by itself
Where it stops by itself (Mercedes: Ooooh)
Mercedes with New Directions:
Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's (Artie: Oh crazy)
Got me looking so crazy right now (Artie: Oh) (Mercedes: Hey)
Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch (Mercedes: Hey)
Got me looking so crazy right now
Mercedes:
Got my hair crazy right now
Mr. Schuester claps while the Haverbrook kids sign clap.
"It didn't work at all, did it?" Rachel asked
"No, it's just the rehearsal. It's still just a little rough, But we're onto something." Mr. Schuester said
Mr. Schuester sighs.
The Haverbrook kids starts performing and signing "Imagine".
Haverbrook Deaf Choir:
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us, only sky
Imagine all the people
Living life for today
Mercedes and the Haverbrook Male lead:
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
And no religion, too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace, you
Artie and the Haverbrook Male lead:
You may say I'm a dreamer,
Artie, Mercedes, and the Haverbrook Male lead:
But I'm not the only one
Artie and the Haverbrook Male lead:
I hope someday you will join us
Artie, Mercedes, and the Haverbrook Male lead:
And the world will be as one
Crystal and the Haverbrook Male lead:
Imagine no possessions,
I wonder if you can
Finn, Crystal, and the Haverbrook Male lead:
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Finn, Quinn, and the Haverbrook Male lead with New Directions and Haverbrook Deaf Choir:
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world
You-hoo-hoo
Mercedes and the Haverbrook Male lead:
You may say I'm a dreamer (New Directions: You...)
Crystal, Quinn, and the Haverbrook Male lead:
But I'm not the only one
Artie, Mercedes, and the Haverbrook Male lead with New Directions and Haverbrook Deaf Choir:
I hope someday you will join us (New Directions: You...)
And the world will live as one
We all get up and start signing with the Haverbrook kids. After we finish Mr. Schuester and the Haverbrook teacher sign clap.
In the hallway
Quinn and I walk up to Puck in the hallway. Quinn grabs his phone, showing me the sexts.
"Hey, babes. Um... You really don't wanna do that." Puck said
"You lied to us." I said
"I'm sorry. I tried to resist Santana. I did. But I'm young and girls have this power over me. But, hey, it's all good." Puck said
"It's definitely not all good. I thought you wanted to be with us." Quinn said
"I do. Like, a lot. But you two haven't given it up to me since the night I knocked you up, and babes, I'm a dude. I have needs." Puck said
"So, you expect to raise two babies with us and text dirty messages to every other girl at this school if we don't give it up to you every day?" I asked
"No. Just the hot girls. Look, I'm going to be a good dad, but I'm not going to stop being me to do it." Puck said
In the Schuester house
Mrs. Schuester, Quinn, and I are sitting on the couch.
"You can have them." Quinn said
"Are you serious?" Mrs. Schuester asked
"Girls really need a good father. And the only way they're going to get that is if we give them to you." Quinn said
"You think Mr. Shue's going to be a good father, don't you?" I asked
"Yeah. I think he's going to be an amazing dad. Will!" Mrs. Schuester said
"Hey, guys." Mr. Schuester said
He walks into the house.
"I thought you were going to be at the scrap yard all afternoon." Mrs. Schuester said, surprised
"Oh, yeah, uh, change of plans. Got distracted with something else. Uh, Crystal, Quinn, what are you doing here?" Mr. Schuester asked
"Oh, girl talk. We're exchanging pregnancy war stories." Mrs. Schuester said
"Oh, that's... Nice. Well, when you get a sec, can you meet me out in the garage, Ter?" Mr. Schuester asked
"Oh, we were just leaving, so..." I started
Quinn and I go up to Mr. Schuester.
"Yes?" Mr. Schuester asked
We hug him.
"Later, Mr. Shue." Quinn and I said
In the hallway
Quinn and I are standing against the lockers, Finn walks up to us.
"Hey." Finn said
"Hi. Can we be in love again?" I asked
"I have to tell you something first. I, uh... I want us to be honest with each other, no matter what." Finn said
"You can tell us anything." Quinn said
"Cool. Uh... It... It's not really even that big a deal. I mean, I didn't actually do anything, But, the other night, when you were babysitting... I kind of went over to Rachel's house. But nothing happened. I... Just was worked up about us fighting and then she put on this really weird catwoman suit, and so I think something could have happened, but it didn't. Because I only want to be with you two." Finn said
"It's all right." Quinn said
"Thank you for being honest with us." I said
"I love you two." Finn said
He hugs us.
"We love you, too." Quinn and I said, in unison
We gave each other regretful looks for a moment, but we walk down the hall together.
In the choir room
We're sitting down when Mr. Schuester comes in.
"We're starting from scratch. Grab a stool." Mr. Schuester said
"So, we're a stool choir now?" Artie asked
"Nope. We're not dancing with the stools. No gimmicks. No false theatricality. We're just going to sit on them and sing." Mr. Schuester said
"Thanks, Mr. Schuester." Rachel said
In the auditorium
We are sitting on stools and singing the song "True Colors" onstage in the auditorium.
Tina:
You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh, I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness still inside you
Can make you feel so small
But I
Tina with New Directions:
See your true colors
Shining through
(Tina: I see your)
True colors
And that's why I love you
So, don't be afraid
To let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful
Tina:
Like a rainbow
Show me a smile then
Don't be unhappy
Can't remember when
I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
(with New Directions: And you've taken all you can bear)
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there
And I'll see your
Tina with New Directions (New Directions):
(Tina: And I'll see your) true colors
(Shining through) (Tina: Yeah!)
(I see your) true colors
And that's why I love you
(Tina: So,) don't be afraid (Be afraid)
To let them show
Your true colors
True colors
Tina:
True colors are beautiful like a rainbow!