Everything is Going to be Okay
Author: PreppyPrincess5103
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Harm. & Mac struggle with a long-distance relationship after his return to flying.
Notes: This takes place around season 5, episode 3 (True Callings). Also, I'm not sure how the Navy works with post-deployment leave, but the Air Force gives their people (or at least my husband's squadron gives their people) 10 days of leave when returning from a deployment. So, we're going with that. Also, this part is the very definition of filler (#sorrynotsorry). The two weeks leading to a homecoming are almost as difficult as the first two weeks of a deployment. Time comes to a complete standstill and you're filled with this overwhelming sense of excitement and anticipation.
Part 10
Twenty-Two Days
"Excuse me, Ms. MacKenzie?" Mac looked up and was startled to see a very young woman hidden behind an incredible arrangement of deep burgundy roses. She hurried over to her and took the arrangement from her, and set them on her desk.
The young woman smiled and pulled a folded sheet of paper from her back pocket. "Thank you, ma'am. If you could sign by the x please." She handed the sheet over and waited patiently.
Mac returned the form and turned to look at the flowers. They really were spectacular. She plucked the card from the plastic clip and ran her finger under the sealed flap.
"Hey there, gorgeous. I have pretty exciting news. I can't wait to tell you when we talk later, but if you're wanting a hint just count the roses. I love you. H."
She took a deep breath and set the card on the desk. She counted the roses once. Twenty-two. She counted them again to be on the safe side, and got the same number. She glanced at the calendar hanging behind her desk and took a deep breath. Twenty-two days would be shortly after Harm's six-month mark. She took her seat and opened up her personal email. There was nothing from Harm, so she opened a new message and began typing.
To: HRabb1963
From: SarahMacKenzie
Re: 22
H-
I counted twenty-two roses (they're absolutely gorgeous, by the way) … I have a feeling what that number means. Call me as soon as you can and tell me if I'm right.
I love you (and thank you),
M.
She sent the message and reclined in her chair. She studied the roses and smiled. This was the first time he had sent her flowers, and while she usually thought roses were a cliché, they were perfect coming from him. Her desk phone rang and she reached for it.
"Colonel MacKenzie."
"So, what do you think the number means?"
His teasing made her smile, and she sat upright. "Well," she started, "it could be the number of times you thought about me yesterday."
"That's a good guess, but not quite."
She could hear the smile in his voice and she fingered the petals on one of the roses. "Hmm. Well, maybe the number of puppies you want to want to adopt when you get home?"
He snorted and she smiled. "Not quite. One more guess and then I'm going to tell you."
"One more guess… Well, I'm going to go with the number of days you have left on the ship." He was silent and she took a deep breath. "Harm, please tell me I'm right."
"You're right. Twenty-two days until I see you again." It was his turn to break the silence. "Mac? You there?"
"I can't believe we finally have a date. It feels so much more real now."
"I know. I can't wait to see you. Listen, I know homecoming ceremonies can be a little corny, but I would really love it if you were there."
She laughed lightly. "Good luck keeping me away. I'll go talk to Chegwidden about taking leave as soon as we hang up. How much time off should I take?"
He frowned. "I was hoping you'd take two weeks and spend all of my post-deployment leave with me."
"Of course I will. I just wasn't sure if you had things you needed to get done with that time."
"All I want, and need, is to be with you. Nothing else matters, Sarah. Nothing."
Nineteen Days
Harm walked over to his plane and stared at the single word now painted under his name. Hammer. The CAG was right. He didn't belong in this world anymore no matter how much a part of him, albeit a very small part, wanted to stay. He heard footsteps behind him and didn't bother to turn. He knew it would be Skates.
She stood next to him and looked up at his plane, before glancing at his face. "You're going back to JAG, aren't you?"
He rubbed his hand over the nape of his neck. "I don't belong here anymore."
She placed a hand on his arm. "Maybe not, but you're the best I've ever flown with."
He glanced down at her and smiled. "And you're the best RIO I've ever had." He placed his hand over hers and squeezed gently before dropping it back to his side.
"Are you doing this for the Colonel?"
He shook his head. "No, but I would if she asked me to." He turned to face her. "You're actually a large part of why I'm doing this."
Her eyes widened and she took a step back. "Me, sir?"
"Not in an inappropriate way." She visibly relaxed, and he grinned. "Your fears this past week. Your realization that you're not bulletproof." He turned back to the plane and tried to put his thoughts into words. "I guess it just hit me that none of us are bulletproof. I've had more than my fair share of near-death experiences. I've always been proud of my father and I've always wanted to be just like him. But I don't want that anymore. I don't want his life; I want a life of my own."
"Being a pilot doesn't necessarily mean having his life." She took a deep breath. "Or having the same ending that he did."
He briefly realized he should be talking about this with Mac, but brushed away the thoughts. He would talk to her about all of this in person in nineteen days. "I want a family, Skates. I want to marry Mac, have a couple of brilliant children with her eyes. And I want to be there for them every single day. I can't do that if I'm deploying all the time." He looked back to her and smiled. "I finally found the one thing that means more to me than being in the air."
"You and Mac are lucky." Her voice was soft.
He nodded. "I'm glad I did this. I think I would have always had regrets if I hadn't had this opportunity. But now I think I can step off of this ship in nineteen days and look toward the future."
Fifteen Days
Mac watched Maddie and Ben argue, and was equal parts annoyed and amused. They had taken the plunge and decided to move in together, and now they were arguing over whether or not Ben's ancient leather armchair really belonged in the room full of Maddie's stylish mid-century furniture. She shared a look with Sturgis and Bobbi, and then looked back at the couple.
James, one of Ben's friends rolled his eyes and gestured to Sturgis to give him a hand with the chair. The two men lifted it, and made their way into the living room. They placed the chair in an empty space by a window and looked at the still arguing couple. "Guys, argue over the chair later." James said. "The rest of us would like to finish this up, eat all of your pizza, drink all of your beer, and then get back to our lives." Mac laughed, and he glanced at her and smiled.
Ben backed Maddie up, until the backs of her legs were against the chair. He gave her a gentle nudge and she collapsed into it. He bent to give her a kiss, and then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm going to go order the pizzas."
She leaned back in the chair and rubbed her hands over the soft leather. "It is comfortable, but that doesn't change the fact that it's hideous." He grinned and shrugged, and she smiled as she watched him walk away.
Mac took a seat on one of the love-seats and looked around. "This place is beautiful."
Maddie looked around and smiled. She loved the look of the modern touches with the older architecture of the building. "Thank you. It was love at first sight." She studied her friend. "Think you and Harm will take this step when he gets home?"
She shrugged. "I don't even know where he'll be when he gets back. Unless he gets a special duty that brings him back to DC, he'll be in Pensacola."
"So, what does that mean for the two of you?"
Mac shrugged again. "Beats me. We agreed to take all of this one step at a time. I guess we'll start figuring it out in fifteen days."
Maddie snorted. "I say sixteen days. I doubt you'll do much talking on day one." She gave her friend a teasing smile. "So, what do you think will happen when he gets back?"
Mac bit her lower lip. "Honestly I'm not sure. He's been teasing me for months about asking me to marry him the next time we're together. I asked him not to ask for at least six months."
"Good Lord, why?"
"I've never had a relationship like this before. I don't want to rush things. I want to take our time and enjoy it every step of the way."
"I can understand that," Maddie started, "but don't deny yourself something you really want because you think you should wait." She thought of Ben and smiled. "We're moving faster than I ever thought I would. I always had a plan, you know? Date for a specific amount of time. Be engaged for a specific amount of time. Get married. Be married for a specific amount of time before having children. Then I met him and all of those timelines I set for myself just went away."
Bobbi walked over and handed them each a bottle of water. "I know I'm the last person you want Harm advice from, but I don't see him as the type to joke about getting married. I think if he's mentioning it, he's absolutely serious."
Maddie frowned slightly and leaned forward. "Why are you the last person Mac would want Harm advice from?" Mac and Bobbi shared a look and Maddie gasped. "No way! You and Harm?"
Bobbi turned to see if Sturgis had noticed, but the men were no longer in the kitchen. "Yes. A very brief fling. And Sturgis doesn't know."
Maddie looked between the two of them and raised an eyebrow. Mac laughed and glanced at Bobbi. "Inappropriate question coming in three, two, one…"
"So, what's he like? This one," Maddie gestured at Mac, "won't give me any of the juicy details."
Bobbi rolled her eyes. "Should we call some of Ben's one-night stands and ask about how he was?"
Maddie bit her lip. "Okay, point taken." She took a sip of her water. "So, are you nervous about seeing him again?"
Mac shook her head. "Not even a little. I feel like this deployment was actually really good for us." She shifted so her legs were curled beneath her. "I was against starting anything. I wasn't ready or in a good place for a relationship. But I wanted him, and he was very persuasive, so I agreed to give us a shot. But then he deployed and I was pretty much on my own again. And even though I miss him and can't wait for him to be back, that time on my own was so good for me." She smiled broadly. "And now I actually feel like I am ready for a healthy relationship."
Ten Days
"What?"
Harm winced and instantly sat up straighter. "Mom? Are you okay?"
"Oh darling, I'm sorry." She exhaled sharply and took a few breaths. "I thought you were the agent I just hung up with."
He raised an eyebrow. "Since when do you get this rattled by an agent?"
"Since the artist he represents wants to fill my beautiful gallery with some of the most insulting art I've ever seen. He was just threatening to sue me for violating his client's first amendment right."
Trish was rarely ever this rattled when it came to her work and he was insanely curious about what was causing this reaction. "Mom, I have to ask. What's depicted in the work?"
She sighed again. "Sweetheart, I think he purposely set out to offend everyone he possibly could. It's all disgusting. I have a feeling he wants galleries to say no, so that he can cause a ruckus in the media and bring more attention to his client. But enough about him. It's been too long since I've heard your voice. What's going on with you?"
He glanced up at the calendar and grinned. "Well, I have my homecoming date. I'll be back in ten days." He laughed as his mother made a squealing noise to express her delight. He loved hearing that sound come from her, and felt guilty for how much grief he had brought into her life. "I'm sure you've already talked to Mac, but you can definitely count us in for Thanksgiving."
"Oh, I am so glad to hear that. Frank and Sarah will be over the moon."
He smiled at the mention of his grandmother. "I can't wait to see them both. And you of course."
"Of course. I imagine your old mother is the person you're most looking forward to seeing."
He heard the teasing note in her voice and laughed. "I have to admit that you're number two on that list. There's a certain Marine that's in the top spot."
"Good. That's how it should be." Trish's voice was soft. "And even if you have children, keep her in that top spot if you deploy again. Your relationship should always be the most important thing, even more important than any children you have. Remember that, okay?"
"I will." He was quiet for a moment. "Did dad make you number one?"
"He did." She cleared her throat. "So, have you decided what the future holds? Will it be a lot of deployments or a quiet… well, quieter, life as a lawyer?"
He took a deep breath. "I'm not going to fly anymore. I'm glad I did it, but this isn't where I belong."
Trish exhaled sharply. "I'm so glad to hear that, darling."
"Don't mention that to Mac though, please. I want to tell her in person when I see her."
"I won't say anything," Trish promised. "Is she going to be there when you get off the ship?"
He grinned as he imagined her in the crowd of Navy wives, with their homemade signs, and children decked out in their most patriotic outfits. "She'll be there."
Two Days
Mac looked around her apartment and let out a breath. She had been desperately trying to stay busy these past few days and was officially out of things to do. The apartment was spotless. Really spotless. She had even scrubbed the baseboards and cleaned out every cabinet and closet. She had packed for Florida for herself, and had gone to Harm's apartment to pack a few things for him as well. She had arranged to leave her car in the secure parking garage at Maddie & Ben's new place. Her mail had been put on hold, and the fridge had been emptied out. She was ready to go. Her flight left the next afternoon, since she wanted to be there the day before to rule out the possibility of any delays. Part of her just wanted to fall into bed and sleep until it was time to head to the airport. Time had seemingly stopped and she was losing her mind.
The phone rang, startling her. She reached for the phone and answered it while collapsing onto the couch.
"Please tell me that time has stopped for you as well."
She lit up at the sound of his voice. "I don't think the clock has moved in about six hours. And I'm sure tomorrow won't be any better."
"Are you packed and ready to go?"
"I am. Need me to grab anything for you?"
He thought for a moment. "I can't think of anything. Considering I want us to spend the next two weeks naked, bringing anything is kind of waste." She laughed and he grinned, even though he was only partially kidding. "I love you. And I can't wait to see you."
"The feeling is definitely mutual, Flyboy." She took a deep breath. "Are you nervous?"
"A little." He was quiet for a moment. "Are you?"
She laughed lightly. "I wasn't until today. I've been completely cool and then today the nervousness just punched me in the stomach, and I've found myself worried about the most ridiculous things."
"Like what?"
She bit her lower lip. "I don't know. What if the sex isn't as good as it was? What if we annoy each other being together after so much time apart? What if the weather changes and the clothes I packed aren't warm enough? What if-"
"Sarah." His gentle voice cut her off, and he gave her a moment before he continued. "Everything will be okay. If the sex isn't great initially, it'll get better. If we annoy each other, we'll take sometime to be by ourselves. If the weather gets unexpectedly cool, we'll find a mall and buy a few things. Everything will be good though. Better than good. I promise."
"I'm just so ready to be back with you."
"I know, honey. I'm ready for that too. We've made it this far though. I think we can handle these last two days."
End Part 10