Thank you for the reviews and the encouragement! And for the comments and critiques as well. It was pointed out to me - and quite rightly - that I had referred to Padme as "Padme Amidala" in the prologue, even though she had never been elected queen in this alternate universe, and would therefore not be called by a royal name. This is a valid point, and in all honesty it was a slip-up on my part! I've decided to leave the name in the prologue because in the backstory of this fic (which was described skeletally in the prologue) Padme would still have served as Princess of Theed even though she lost the election that would have made her queen, and therefore Amidala would have been part of her name in the days before Naboo was devastated by the Trade Federation. She would have dropped the unnecessary name after some time had passed and most people wouldn't even remember the lesser royal positions and who had filled them. In other words, I made a mistake and then realized it wasn't quite a disaster lol. But thank you all for your attentive reading! I love reading all the reviews - please leave me some more? :)

CHAPTER NINE

Vader flew back to his home in a trance, avoiding all thoughts of anything except the swirling lights and traffic around him. A distant rumble shook the darkened sky and a few tiny raindrops flecked the forward canopy of his speeder. He distantly recognized that a weather warning had lit up the speeder's display on his way to the Imperial Palace and he accelerated unconsciously.

He settled the speeder on his personal landing pad without a thought and slowly lowered himself to the permacrete surface, turning to walk away. Larger raindrops pursued him. The landing pad retracted into his private hangar and sealed itself against the outside and the brewing storm.

He stood motionless in the darkness for a moment. The wind began to whistle distantly against the sharp edges of his home and began to take on a timbre remarkably similar to a human scream. He shuddered and left the hangar as quickly as he could, guided by the pale emergency lights dotting the floor. The shadowy collection of ships surrounding him looked like corpses in the darkness.

Finally passing into the domestic portions of his complex, he walked straight for his chambers, not pausing to acknowledge his protocol droid's greetings. He manually locked the door behind him.

The circular room held a plainly appointed bed off to the left, and a stiff cushion for meditation occupied the center of the dimly lit space. Half of the wall was a reinforced window of military-grade transparisteel that would able to withstand most assaults and any assassination attempts. It gave him no comfort now... because the Emperor knew.

The first flash of lightning forked against the black skies, followed by a distant rumble of thunder. Rain began to tap against his unbreachable window-wall at a steady rate. He let his cloak fall away from his shoulders and he stepped forward, considering distantly that meditation might be prudent. The headache that threatened to split his skull dissuaded him.

Clutching his head, he dropped onto his meditation cushion and tried to release some of the pain into the Force. Predictably, it was an ineffective attempt.

Feel, don't think. Qui-Gon Jinn's voice sounded in his head, unexpected and uninvited, a voice from another life. Use your instincts.

That had been exactly what he was trying to do, he reflected bitterly. He had followed his instincts to the girl and been pulled along a path he had not foreseen. It was his instincts and feelings that had gotten him into this mess, because they had all led insistently to her.

He squeezed his eyes shut against the screaming pain in his head. Ripping information from someone's mind was always an ugly business, rather like trying to rip a projectile from a wound with your bare hands - it made such a mess. He could almost feel the bleeding. He couldn't control the pain and he couldn't let it go either.

And he couldn't protect Padme. The thought elicited a groan from him and sent a fresh spike of pain needling through his skull. The Emperor knew. He wasn't having her eliminated, which could mean only one thing: she was useful to him. It didn't take much imagination to guess what the use might be.

He slumped forward, fruitlessly trying to relax away the pressure building in his head. Palpatine would use Padme to control him, as though she was a restraining bolt and he a very unruly droid. He had been so confident that he could defeat his master... and now he had hand-delivered a method of control right into his outstretched hands. He couldn't challenge Palpatine as long as Padme's life was hanging in the balance. The rain became a shimmering glassy sheet outside his window, slapping haphazardly against the surface and sliding down like spindly fingers reaching toward nothing.

He was helpless and Palpatine knew it. He felt anger building in his chest with a fury to rival even the storm beyond his window. How had he let this happen? He stood as the room began to shake around him, the Force shivering in his fingers and arms and chest. The cushion flew away from him and slammed against the doors, the bed upended and sent a shower of blankets and sheets away from him. He was a Sith Lord. A powerful master of the Dark Side who would soon have been the ruler of the known universe if he could have just stayed focused...

But that future was gone now. He felt the familiar hollow sensation of hopelessness erupt in his chest, the same feeling that had closed its vice-like grip around him as a slave child with no escape on Tatooine and as a young man forced to train as a Sith. He had failed. He would never be free. His face was wet with tears before he recognized that he was crying.

His head pulsed with a ferocity to rival a fresh knife wound. He sank to his knees and stared unseeing at the storm outside.

He couldn't win...

The lightning flashed frequently now, striking against the spires of the tallest structures and lighting up the horizon in its ghostly imitation of daylight. One bolt struck the distant Senate Rotunda, where Padme was likely seated at a desk in a quiet office, safe from the storms and the dangers outside.

He felt something awaken inside his chest. The sensation filled the cavernous hollow places and spilled into his numb limbs. The warmth spread until even the screaming pain in the center of his head dulled and faded into a manageable ache. He couldn't win... but he could see Padme. He lifted his heavy head from his hands and stared across the distance to the Senate. The rain pounded, the thunder growled, and his hopes were all but gone, but he felt himself smile. He understood what he was feeling with the silent, overwhelming force of a seismic charge detonating in a vacuum.

He loved her.

He wondered how it was possible to feel so much happiness and so much despair at the same time.

He waited for her in the corridor outside the Alderaanian office suite after a long and sleepless night. His first urge had been to jump in a speeder and show up at her doorstep, but he suspected that would not have had a desirable effect. He finally compromised and staked out the corridor, hoping to head her off before she reached the office for a day in the bureaucratic doldrums. He sighed in irritation as he paced by the same window for the hundredth time. Patience had never been his strong suit.

"Anakin?"

He spun to face her voice, absurdly glad that the corridor was empty and she could call him by his name. She looked confused and even concerned as she examined him in the early morning sunlight that poured through the windows. He supposed he was a sore sight after a night of little sleep and nightmares of both the sleeping and waking varieties. But there was no time to think about that now. Her presence was already calming his jangled nerves and aching thoughts. Her presence was as soothing as the most serene and beautiful environment he could imagine (the Jedi Temple and its Room of a Thousand Fountains appeared in his mind; the image burned him and evaporated). He wanted to be with her today. He needed her.

Padme had almost decided to give up on resuscitation efforts and declare her good sense to be well and truly deceased. She had run into a very exhausted and near-manic Lord Vader, and very quickly allowed herself to be talked into running away with him for the day. She had protested the suggestion of course, but the obvious weariness on his face and his nearly desperate request that she spend the day with him had changed her mind almost immediately and she had agreed to try. It wasn't difficult in the end; Bail was always accommodating and kind, so he had given her the day off without a fuss when she asked for it. After all, he was usually the one insisting that she take some time for herself. In fact, he had looked remarkably smug about it and had said something to the secretary as Padme left that had elicited a gossipy giggle from the girl. No doubt he was congratulating himself on helping her romantic efforts with the boyfriend he imagined she had. She fought the urge to sigh dramatically. Bail was so kind... and so very misguided.

She hurried back to Lord Vader. With every step away from the office, she felt herself grow a little lighter until her excitement threatened to lift her off the ground entirely. It was glorious... and completely ridiculous. Luckily, she was distracted from examining her feelings by the man himself.

"Ready to go?" he asked her as soon as she was in sight.

"Yes," she answered simply, not able to avoid smiling at the prospect. Only the haunted look in his eyes kept the moment from being a wonderful one. But she tamped down her worry and resolved to ask him about what was going on a little later. He obviously needed to forget about whatever was troubling him for a while... and she was happy to come along. Together, they headed for his landing pad.

She wasn't sure what it was about this man that caused her good sense to jump to lightspeed and abandon her... but she did know that she loved it.

Vader's headache worsened as his face twisted into a frown. He focused on keeping his hands steady on the controls of his speeder, and scanning the endless lanes of traffic for any that were moving faster. They were surrounded by speeders of every shape and size, boxing them in above, below, and in every horizontal direction. He really, really hated Coruscant traffic. Padme's gaze was drawn to his impatient sigh. He could feel her curiosity and worry, stronger now than it had been in the darkened opera box.

"This is possibly the most exciting day of shirking duty that I've ever experienced," she commented when his silence dragged on.

"You've never skipped a day of work in your life, have you, Padme?"

She considered briefly. "No."

He smiled, feeling a little of the lingering tension melt from his shoulders. There was a tiny shiver in the Force, and at last he spotted a speeder beneath them pulling forward... and leaving an opening. His smile turned wicked. "Then Padme, it's a good thing that I'm here to show you how it's done."

He spared a fraction of a second to check that her seat restraints were fastened and then jerked the steering column straight up, plunging the speeder into a stomach-twisting drop. The engine groaned and Padme's hand slapped into the arm rest, her knuckles going white. He savored the fleeting moment of complete freedom as gravity itself lost its grip on him and he was suspended in midair as the speeder dropped into unoccupied space, leaving the seething crawl of the traffic lanes behind. The moment passed and he gently leveled the steering column, guiding the speeder back into a horizontal plane without so much as a bump.

"I didn't realize that was an option in traffic jams," Padme said, her voice only a little strained.

"Then you have much to learn, Milady." He smiled at her and pressed the accelerator.

He kept his speed reasonable out of respect for Padme's feelings; he doubted his reassurances about his Force sensitive reflexes would ease her mind if he pushed the speeder like he usually would. He was able to enjoy the leisurely drive, to his surprise, although he was sure it had more to do with the company than his speed.

They had been in the air for some little time before he got around to deciding where he was going - he hadn't planned beyond obtaining Padme's presence. Fortunately, he excelled at quick thinking.

Padme raised an eyebrow when she realized that they were heading toward the Imperial Palace. "What are we doing?" she asked immediately, but, Vader noticed happily, with no trace of reluctance or fear.

"There is a place here that you might like," he replied, and steered toward one of the landing bays.

Padme had been surprised to see the Imperial Palace complex growing larger in the viewport, although she wasn't sure why. It wasn't as though anything Lord Vader did made any sense to her. They turned away from the palace itself and swerved downward, toward some of the distant portions of the complex. She had never gotten a close look at the structures surrounding the palace before, so she looked on eagerly as they dropped closer. There were warehouses, troop barracks, hangars, and dozens of buildings whose functions she couldn't identify. They finally circled a relatively short, rounded structure with a glass-domed roof. She could see green, leafy foliage under the glass.

"An arboretum?" she asked in excitement. The sight of trees and flowers was a foreign one on Coruscant, which was itself an artificial jungle of permacrete and transparisteel.

"The arboretum," he replied, seeming pleased at her excitement. "I am told it's the largest and finest on the planet, though I've never been myself." He guided the speeder into a half-empty landing bay and landed smoothly. She couldn't help but be impressed with his piloting.

As though he was aware of her admiration, he smirked at her before cutting the engines and lowering the boarding ramp. He stood. "After you, Padme."

They spent the morning wandering through an utopian atmosphere. There were smaller rooms that housed examples of varying planets' ecosystems and larger spaces devoted to ancient-looking trees. When they finally found their way to the glass-domed room, Padme pulled in a sharp breath. The trees were at least ten meters tall and many were covered in green, brown, and white mosses. Vines tangled across the grassy floor and climbed the walls and trees. There were artificial streams bubbling in the distance and the sound of steadily rushing water even suggested the possibility of a waterfall.

"Oh," she said, unable to contain herself. "It's beautiful..."

"It's very... peaceful," he said by way of agreement. His eyes were shut and his face relaxed when she glanced at him.

They walked down one of the paths that branched away from the door. The air was warm and fragrant and the silence comfortable.

"Was that what you needed today? Some peace?" she asked him finally, studying the flowers on either side of the pathway. Vader didn't respond for a long moment. "I suppose it was," he replied thoughtfully. He came to stand beside her and join in her examination of the red and blue lilies.

"It was a difficult night," he added suddenly.

Padme blinked at him, and turned back to touch the velvety petals. "Did something happen?" she asked carefully, probing at the subject as though it was a delicate wildflower itself. She saw him staring at her, could feel the weight of his evaluation as he decided something...

"Yes." He paused for a long moment. "The Force opens many possibilities for power," he said, staring at something unseen. "And for pain." She almost missed his shiver.

She was completely out of her depth. She didn't even understand what the Force was, let alone how it might have hurt him... but she did know that the thought made her angry.

"Then why do you use the Force?"

"Why do you breathe?" he fired back, his tone somewhere between irritation and surprise.

"What is it like? The Force," she clarified, trying to approach the topic from a new angle.

He considered the question in silence, his brow furrowed in concentration. "Energy," he said finally. "Like electrical surges in your mind and your body that you can shape to your will."

"You can move things without touching them," she said, remembering her bag suspended in midair, his hand stretched toward it.

"Yes."

"And you said mind... you have powers over the mind too?" She thought suddenly of the way every room he entered crackled and sparked to life, the very air tingling around him. That strange energy that roiled around him... was it the Force?

"It is possible to communicate mentally." He sounded hesitant, as though he was choosing his words carefully.

"Could you communicate with my mind?" she asked suddenly.

"Probably not," he said with a laugh. "Unless you're a Sith?" he asked hopefully. Padme laughed in turn. Vader shrugged. "It was worth a try," he said with an air of longsuffering. "You would certainly be much more fun than-" he cut himself off abruptly and turned grey. The dark circles under his eyes stood out violently against his ashen face and Padme felt fiercely sorry for whatever he was struggling with.

"The Emperor," she whispered, understanding. "You mean that you can communicate with Palpatine's mind? That's… scary."

"You have no idea."

"How exactly does it work?"

"A little like a commlink, I suppose, although that's a crude way of describing it. It only works between Force Sensitives in theory… but I personally believe that a strong attachment between a Force User and a non-Force User could make it possible for them to communicate in that way. Not that I've ever tried it."

"Hm. So they'd have to be… kindred spirits?"

"Something like that."

They had been drifting down the path, and Padme's eyes had glanced over hundreds of exotic flowers and trees without seeing them. The color seemed to have drained from the flowers and even the sunlight as he was speaking. She could hear the pain in his voice over whatever had happened and it disturbed her. "I'm sorry for whatever happened last night," she whispered, staring blankly at a patch of tiny golden buds.

"Don't be," he answered in a stronger voice. "It motivated me to spend the day with you." He was smiling warmly when she looked at him. She felt herself blush and tried to give her attention to the flowers and vines and trees.

Naturally, she failed.