Torn Between Two Lovers
By: Catwomen88
*Disclaimer: I do not own degasser in anyway…I am just using the characters to write a fan fiction
*Authors Note: This is my first degassi fic…so bare with me please. This story does not follow the season…I mean some of the things from Season eight have happened, but this is my own story…. that I created…I hope you like it…. it's basically for all the Jemma/Semma fans…. basically a fight between Jay and Sean for Emma….
Chapter 10: Does any body see me?
Emma wondered if anyone saw her…the real her…and what was going on. She felt like everyone was just ignoring it and well if they wanted to ignore it then fine. So deeper into her decline she fell. She began the games. Anything not to feel this sense of doom in her body. So, she used sex to distract Jay and Sean. She wanted then both. She denied her true feelings.
Emma knew she was using sex to drive the boys mad. It was the only way to distract them. They were idiots. No one saw anything. Jay and Sean could call her out all they wanted but what did they know. Really. They knew nothing about her life. Sean had been gone for over a year and Jay…. well Jay did not know her at all really.
TWO MONTHS LATER:
Summer arrived and Emma moved home to the basement with her family. For two months, no one noticed her decline. Sean and Jay kept their distance, but Emma dragged them both into her web. Whenever they tried to reach out Emma turned it around. She was messing with two hearts. Jay was fed up and cut her off and Sean…. he just kept coming back for the punishment.
Flash back:
Two weeks ago:
For a month and a half, Emma had been playing Jay. She had been sleeping with him to shut him up. He was a man. How could he refuse, but then he learned about her and Sean. Jay found out because one day he went to check on Emma and found her and Sean in her bed. His heart broke.
"I am done Emma. I try to help and all you do is play damn games. I wont do this. I wont let you rip my heart out for two months. I knew something was wrong. And I have tried to be patient which is unlike me, but this….I can't…." Jay yelled.
Emma was crying and she approached Jay, "Please…I swear I am sorry. I love you Jay…I just…. I cannot help it…its Sean…. I mean…please just do not give up. I need you." Emma said touching Jay's arms.
Jay back up, "Don't touch me. It is Sean. Whom the heck cares…I know its Sean, but you cannot do this. I admit I have played games, but this is wrong. Look at you. Something is wrong and you need help. Get help…. go to rehab or whatever it is you need. But for now, I am done playing this game. For two months, I have been trying to help you. Falling deeper and deeper, but I cannot do it any more. I won't." Jay said walking away.
Emma feels to the floor crying, "Jay…please…I love you…please…."
Jay turned around, "Love…I don't think you know what love it…love is putting up with crap you should not have to put up with. Love is wanting a woman who apparently wants to play games….love is standing in front of you and you screwed it up. God Em, why did you not just talk to me….talk…I can handle what ever is wrong, but if you won't talk to me then I can't help you…" Jay turned and kept walking.
Emma watched him, "And what do you know about me…nothing that's what…"
Jay stopped once more and turned around, "I know plenty. I know you like to be in control. I know you like to have it all. I also know you care…more then you should about people. You let their problems be your problems. You ignore your own problems because you figure you can always come back to them. I know you can make yourself sick, because you try to do it all yourself. When will you realize, that you need help." With that said Jay walked away.
End Flash back…Another flashback…One week ago:
Sean had learned about Emma and Jay before Jay knew about him and Emma. Sean could be a patient person. He wanted Emma to figure things out. Do it on her own, but that was not happening. For the past two months, he had seen the decline. He was a good friend. Friends…that were the part that got to him. Sean found out because Jay had admitted it to him. Jay told Sean he was sleeping with Emma and that he had fallen in love with her. Sean did not have the heart to tell him that he too had been sleeping with Emma. Then a month later Jay found out.
"Friends, Emma what do you mean friends." Sean asked her. "For two months you have been jerking me around. I have put up with it because I love you. Now you want to be friends. I thought this thing with jay was a phase. Something you needed out of your system."
Emma shrugged, "Sean…I love you, but only as a friend…I am sorry, but things with Jay…. I do not know and after last week. I mean he…he just walked away from me and I can't lose him."
Sean threw his hands up, "He walked away Emma. Walked away. I am here. Right here and you want him. How…how did this happen…. you told me we were forever. That it would always be me…."
Emma had tears in her eyes once again, "And I wanted to believe that. I wanted to believe that this whole thing with Jay was just a phase, but it's not…its different with him. Hanging out with him, talking to him…. its different."
"No. You need help. Your sick. Once your better you will realize this is crazy. You and Jay will never work. You're too different…you and I we make sense." Sean reasoned.
Emma wiped her eyes. "First I don't need help. I am fine. Nothing is wrong and second, no…I know what I want…."
Sean walked away. He did not want to hear anymore, "I need some air. I will be around so we can talk later." Sean would not just walk away. Not like Jay did."
End flashbackThat had been a week ago and Emma was still in her decline. The realization she loved Jay just made things worse. Sean came around daily, but the guy Emma wanted was Jay. She screwed up. She had played the game for way too long and now she had lost Jay. Which just made her depressed and she stopped eating even more. No one could get through to her.
"Sean leave me alone please. I..I can't do this…just go…" Emma said as Sean once again tried to convince her to get help, "It won't do anything. I lost him. He walked away and I lost him." Emma could not believe she had been so stupid, but she had just wanted….she wanted it all and she did not want to choose.
Sean sighed, "Em…seriously….look at you…your anorexic again…I know it, you mom knows it. Get help."
Emma picked up a book and threw it at Sean's head. He ducked. Then she threw more things around the room and eventually, like she did all those years ago she ended up in a panic attack brought on by starvation. She was in the hospital. The psychiatrist had come to talk to her and suggested she check herself into rehab, but Emma refused.
Emma was over 18. So, she had a right to refuse to go to rehab. No one could force her this time. So, Emma signed out of the hospital MIA. That's when Sean went to go see Jay.
Sean had to suck it up first. Sean knocked on Jay's door.
Jay opened the door and saw Sean. He grunted and walked away leaving it open. Sean walked in and eyed Jay.
"Look man. I am sorry, but I need your help….she needs your help." Sean could not help Emma and it broke his heart.
Jay snorted, "Help her…no thanks. She is deserving what she gets. Just get out."
Sean did not move, "Jay be mad, but don't punish her. She is sick. Her eating disorder is back. She had a panic attack and she wont check herself into rehab."
Jay shrugged, "And that's my problem why. You're her boyfriend…."
"No I am not. She wants you man. Look what happened with Emma and me and you and Emma was….well it was messed up. But she needs you. No one can talk to her……but I think she will listen to you. As much as I hate this. I love her and this…her loving you…it sucks, but she needs you." Sean told Jay. It pained him to say it.
Jay looked at Sean, "No she wants me because I walked away. Because now she can't have her fun. I won't participate in this Emma web of lies and sex. Not my style anymore. If she wants me then fine, but its over. I am over this drama and over her."
"Just help her…..please….talk to her…" Sean pleaded.
TO BE CONTINUED………..