10
EPOVAfter Bella and Alice were on their way to homeroom, I could hear Rosalie's voice from the other side of school, as she sat in her homeroom with Emmett and Jasper.
"He threw himself through a concrete wall, THEN grabbed the 500 pound thing she was strapped into, put some other knocked out kid on it, and swung it in one move out of the room!! She saw EVERYTHING !" Rosalie was telling her tale with venom, keeping her voice low, "She almost told everyone there, but then Edward pinched her and put her to sleep for awhile."
I cringed at that. I hated doing it but I really wanted her out of the situation. She looked so scared. There is a nerve near the neck that if you give it a slight pinch, the person will fall into unconsciousness for a little while. I had used it a couple times before, only in emergency situations, never to kill. It never harmed the victim.
No doubt Carlisle had told Rosalie all this. Great, Dad. And now Rosalie was telling the whole epic saga to the others right in the middle of homeroom. At least 20 other kids around her. Smooth, Rosalie.
"God, he could've been killed." Jasper's voice sounded scared but grateful I had made it out alive, "That took balls ! I HATE fire. I hate even looking at it in a fireplace."
"But he saved her, right?" Emmett sounded a little concerned. I would have to ask him about that. Bella said she'd met Emmett and that he was nice. I wished she'd said that I was nice, too. But at the time I was being my alter ego, Adolf Cullen. I know she hates that guy. But I had gotten a little hope back after she'd woken up and we had talked in the dark that maybe she didn't completely hate me after all.
"Yes, but so what?" Rosalie said coldly, "She's going to take this chance to make some friends by telling the whole school about it. She might even publish it in the school PAPER! I can see her now, at lunch, her table will be full, at least for a day or two while she goes through her story over and over again."
"I don't think she would do that, Rose." Jasper tried to keep the faith.
"You don't even know her." Rosalie snapped.
"Neither do you." Emmett said, then paused and softened his tone, "Just, let Edward keep an eye on her. He told Carlisle he'd be listening to hear if she says anything. If that happens, we will deal with it then."
"What's that mean?" Jasper asked, sounding frail, whispering, "You're not saying…he won't kill her?"
"If he has to, he has to." Rosalie informed, whispering too, "And I know you can hear me, Edward. If she talks, you are doing it all. Cleanup and evidence, too. I'm not doing shit. I didn't make this mess."
I didn't want to hear anymore, I closed my eyes and walked away from Alice and Bella, who were almost to their homeroom door. Something inside me turned off Rosalie's voice and then I realized I didn't even say goodbye to them.
I spun around, still walking as I saw just Bella in the hall, about to enter the room.
I called to her, saying, "Hey, Bella."
She looked at me, stopping and I tried to think of something to say. I really wanted to plead with her not to say anything about yesterday, please don't expose us. Don't make us leave here…don't force me to hurt you.
But all I could think of was how different she looked as she sat next to me in the car. It wasn't anything huge that I could put my finger on, but definitely her hair looked pretty and soft, and her eyes stood out more, soft pinkish color around the wide, warm pools of brown. And when she blushed, her eyes wet a bit, and they shined more. Besides all that, she looked happy. She was laughing. That increased her beauty tenfold. My mouth was speaking before I knew what it was saying.
"You look nice." I said. Honest, simple, and short.
I hurried off to class then, not wanting to scare her off by saying anything else. I already knew I was in danger of going over the top after leaving the gift in her room this morning. I knew she needed a new crutch but I didn't HAVE to gift it up like I did.
But the one the hospital was going to give her was awful. All scratched up and even had a couple of dents in it. No padding for her poor little hand that had felt like she was wearing a glove when I examined her yesterday. She would take it, without argument, I knew. But she deserved better.
I chose the leopard one because that's what I wanted to see her become. She was a little kitten now, so timid and afraid of everything. In time, with the help of my Adolf personality, I would see her become a leopard. Strong, independent, fierce. Able to survive on her own.
Then when she was ready to go to college, she would have a shot at having a real life. With friends, and a boyfriend, too, perhaps. That thought bothered me a little but I wasn't even sure why. I couldn't and didn't want to have a girlfriend, especially a human one. The thought of it unnerved me. It would never work. I'd be sure to kill her then, somehow.
I accepted long ago that I was meant to be alone. But still I saw her as a broken little bird. I wanted to fix her. Maybe it was the doctor inside me. I have medical degrees but I can't use them. I have to pretend I'm a stupid kid, knowing nothing. If someone had an attack right in the middle of the hallway, I'd have to be careful not to leap into doctor mode and start saving their life.
I hated hiding and lying all the time. Maybe, some deep dark part of me WANTED her to know what I was. I would love to hear her reaction to it. I'm sure it wouldn't be the typical response of screaming and running away. She was different. She never seemed to do or say what I expected. I wished I could talk to her about it.
I should have stayed away from her, I knew that. I shouldn't be her friend. I knew that too. But I wanted to be her friend.
When she had told me the same thing last night in the darkness, I felt a warm glow inside me, but then she ruined it immediately with the idea that we would be secret friends, and I could act like I didn't know her, like I'd be ashamed to be seen with her.
I lost my temper then. But I think what I said might have gotten through. I hoped so. Any one who would say yes to that kind of friendship was more a monster than I'd ever be. I wondered if anyone else ever went along with that painful bargain. I wanted to punch who ever would've done that to her.
I hated that I had made her cry yesterday when I yelled at her in the gym. Most of my patients had been men or boys before, Bella was the first girl. I almost thought I shouldn't be so tough on her, but then I threw that idea right away. No, I had to be just as rough on her as the others. I wanted her to walk. I wanted her to run. Then I saw her in my head, running away from ME.
She would probably think it was weird, too, my going to her room at Sue's place and bringing her I-pod back to her, even choosing that song for her to listen to. That was a joke, though, I saw it on her list and just chose it after her ramblings about super heroes. She thought I was one. I wish.
Little did she know when I yelled at her in the gym and got up on the table, and was so close to her throat, that I almost took her right then. Alice didn't even stop me. She said later she knew I wouldn't have done it. I was so close. I could almost taste it.
Nothing was really stopping me. She had no family, no friends, really, yet. I hated to think it but if she vanished tomorrow I don't think anyone would really notice. That's horrible, Edward, I smacked myself inside for thinking that.
Changing my thoughts, I recalled her little room at Sue's place. First, she was on the second floor. But that's good, it means she's using stairs at least twice a day and that's good for her legs. But then I thought, what if she falls down the stairs one day? I am getting paranoid already, being around a human so much.
The room itself was without any flair. It was clean and had what she needed but something in me ached for her when I stood inside it. No parents, no color on the walls, no stuffed animals on the bed. I realized then just how blessed I am to have all that I do. Not just the fancy house, but my family. I sometimes forgot how fortunate I really am, always focusing on my fate and my inhuman existence.
The homeroom bell finally rang then, breaking me out of my trance, and I picked up my camera, going to photography class, putting Bella Swan out of my thoughts for awhile.
BPOV
I sat in Home Economics, trying to pay attention to the ingredients of Shepard's Pie, but I kept reliving the events of yesterday. The gym, the revolting feeling of being alone, tied in, and helpless as the ceiling began to cave in with fire.
Then Edward screaming my name. Now that I think of it, I was guessing he first came to the doorway of the gym to get me. Then he saw the fire. I don't think he could hear me answer him, my voice was almost a whisper. But then he went to find another way in. Even though he's afraid of fire, he had said. I wondered then if he could see through walls. How did he know to go to that wall?
Then I remembered the pounding noises. He didn't get through that wall in one go. It took about 3 or 4 slams before he broke through. I pictured him in his muscle shirt and snug sweatpants, throwing his body into the cement, then again…and again. Then I definitely remember a monstrous ROAR he had made from the other side. Maybe he was afraid he wouldn't be able to get through in time. Maybe he almost gave up? But he got me out with 1 second to spare. Jesus !
I couldn't wait to get some free time to write all these events in my journal. Oh wait. I couldn't do that. Edward said to keep this to myself. What if someone got hold of it and read it to everyone? I'd have to be sneaky about how I did this. Maybe I could write it in some kind of secret code.
But I wanted to have it all written down somewhere, not that I thought I'd ever forget it. But something really extraordinary and wonderful had happened for me. I didn't want to lose a single detail of it, ever.
Out of nowhere, I could almost feel his rock hard naked shoulder under my cheek again. I touched my cheek lightly, smiling at the memory of it. It was so nice and cool after my face had been red hot near the fire.
I thought of his deep voice, his magical golden eyes, his unique hair, his perfectly shaped nose, his soft looking, dark red lips…his smile…even his teeth were beautiful…damn it. I was in love. Stupidly, hopelessly, cluelessly, desperately…in love. I knew I would never get him or even try to, but still.
Bye Hugh. I hope we can still be friends.
I hadn't even heard Jessica talking to me, but she was. I snapped out of my Edward inventory of perfection and looked at her, sitting at the table to the right of mine, leaning in.
"What?" I asked, "I didn't hear you."
"Zombie." Another beautiful girl next to Jessica rolled her eyes, watching me intently.
"Is it true that Edward Cullen drove you to school today?" she repeated her question, squinting.
Edward who? God, what was I going to say ? I felt like I had broken an unwritten law here. My kind never was supposed to mix with his kind.
I didn't want to cause him any embarrassment. So I lied.
"No." I frowned at her like she was crazy, "I don't even know him."
Suddenly I felt a wave of guilt. Was this the right thing to say or not? I was denying I even knew this person who in a couple days had become everything to me. I am such a jerk.
"You'd better not be lying." She kept looking at me, trying to decide if I was. Now three other pretty girls were staring at me besides Jessica. Mutiny!
"Why would I lie?" I squinted back at her, turning back to my table. They all stared at me too now, great. Can't we just learn how to make Shepard's Pie and get along?
How does news travel so fast in school, I wondered? I didn't hear about 9/11 as fast as these girls found out about my little innocent ride to school today. Maybe they should become reporters for TMZ or something.
God, what if people were asking Edward if he drove me? I felt sick thinking about his expression and him doing the same thing as I just did, denying everything.
I even saw him throwing a little disgust into his voice and face as he told other boys, "Ukkkk, THAT girl with the stick? Why would I EVER drive HER anywhere? My car's good but not THAT good."
Why did life have to be this complicated? I was feeling so good a minute ago. Well, I would never take any more rides from Edward again. I wouldn't do that to him. I felt sad inside as I came to this decision. I had a lot of fun this morning in that car. Oh well, at least I had the 15 minutes they'd given me. Stop being so greedy I told myself.
Then I remembered Edward's loud words from last night, "Is that how much you think of me, that I would be ashamed of our friendship?"
I wanted to believe it. I wanted to think that he was as beautiful on the inside as the outside. But I had known these beautiful boys before. None more beautiful than him, though.
Prince was suddenly singing in my head, "The beautiful ones always smash the picture, always, every time."
I had my heart broken more times than I could count. I am so stupid. Why do I keep opening my heart, thinking this one will be different? I should just stick to my plan about Africa and the baby tigers.
Prince was singing again, in his glorious high pitched voice, "The beautiful ones you always seem to lose."
I'd have to look amongst the ugly boys during lunch. There had to be some. But then I heard, there's no such thing as ugly, Bella. I felt bad right away for calling anyone else ugly. Besides, even "normal plain" boys probably wouldn't like me, either. I remembered that boy in the gym, Jacob. He had said I was pretty. Maybe he was just being nice. He was kinda cute, but he was no Edward.
I hate this crap. What temperature do you cook the pie at again? I flipped through my book, totally lost. I still felt eyes on me, lots of them. I heard girls whispering. It sounded like cobras hissing. They weren't done with me yet and I knew it. They'd be back after me again as more rumors spread.
Maybe I could ask Edward what I should say. God, that would be humiliating. I could write him a note. Notes were a coward's way out. And I was big on notes. Only, notes can fall into the wrong hands.
Nothing much happened for my next few classes. Everyone seemed to be ignoring me and I liked it that way. Once in awhile, people would look at me and whisper to each other. The rumor mill still going strong.
God, what was the big deal? It wasn't like the Volvo was rocking in the parking lot, the windows all steamed up and then Edward and I climbed out, adjusting our clothes in front of the whole school!
Although the image of that made me feel very warm suddenly.
I felt like rewinding time and telling Jessica, "Yes, he did drive me, and we had a great time, so what ?!"
I was always so tough hours after my window of opportunity had long gone by.
I had a chance to go to the library before History and that was great. It was a huge one, and had computers, too. I loved the library. The popular kids were hardly ever here and I adored books. I wanted to be a writer last year, but after a couple of failed attempts to be on the school paper, I gave up the idea. Now I just liked to write for myself. I never showed anyone anything I had written. I also didn't think it was very good, either.
But I loved doing it. I wrote made up fanfiction stuff about Buffy and Angel, Ares and Xena, Highlander, and a few Hugh Jackman fantasies too. I never took a chance on doing those in school. They were safely hidden in my things at home and would never again see the light of day if I could help it.
Most of my stuff was love stories. I could at least put myself in my character's shoes when she got the hunk of her dreams, and in a small pathetic way, I got to experience romance.
I wondered if being here in Forks would make a good story. I had a brilliant hero, I had the super rescue. But when I thought of me as the heroine, I got turned off to the whole idea. Heroines were supposed to be sexy and small and hot. Especially if they were going to stand next to Edward.
While in the library, after I had gotten a couple books of poetry, I went into investigative mode, wanting to find out more about people who had super human strength. Maybe he was just blessed with it from birth. Remember Unbreakable with Bruce Willis ? I got one book about that and then one last one that looked fun, Encyclopedia of Things that Never Were, it was called.
All the information about mythical creatures were in here, sprites, brownies, elves. I loved all that shit. Fantasy world. I could live there forever. I worshipped magic and the surreal. I had a former fling in my dreams with David Copperfield and we were still buddies, every time I put on an old DVD of his I just seemed to love him all over again.
I made it to History and gladly, I was the first one there. I opened my book about super human strength and let my mind concentrate on that, and not the asshole squad that was coming in a couple minutes.
I was reading about a mother who lifted a car that was on fire, saving her son who was trapped underneath it. She broke all the bones in her pelvis while doing it, but she freed him. That's an adrenaline rush it said. I don't think that was what Edward had. He didn't love me like that. I flipped some more pages and heard them coming now.
I glanced up and Emmett walked in, giving me a grin, pointing two fingers at his own eyes, then back to mine as he took his seat. Oh, great, he was watching me now. I was already nervous as hell. He had told me to tell those boys off myself next time. Now was next time. What would I say ? I didn't want to get in trouble for cursing at them, but I didn't think "Darn it, guys, cut it out!" was going to impress them.
Maybe they wouldn't even bother me today. Emmett stuck up for me yesterday, maybe that would make them stop it now. I was an idiot. A naïve idiot.
They came in and I kept my eyes down in my book, unable to read a thing. Speaking to each other about a girl, Angela, that was supposedly pregnant, they sat down and ignored me.
I was glad, but then I felt bad for this Angela girl. I thought my day was rough, imagine everyone talking about that while you were going through something so frightening. My problems now seemed so small and insignificant.
The bell rang and Mr. Harris was on his feet, handing the first person in each row enough worksheets to pass back to the people behind them.
"During class, we're going to look up the answers to these questions." He announced, "Do it quietly and hand it in at the end of the period."
How boring was this ? Not that I'd get much of it done, if these jerks behind me decided to start up again.
Everyone groaned, and a little noise started up as he passed out the sheets. Talking going on all around the room, I was still glad not to be hearing the guys behind me.
I got to work and for about 25 minutes, I just listened to them talking about the details of this poor pregnant girl. They seemed to know all about the time she had sex, the location, every detail. Were they present ? I hated them the more they talked. According to them, Angela lost her virginity in the back seat of a car.
Then it happened.
"I heard a lot of guys are trying that." Nick was saying in a low voice, "Trying to nail these gross skanks in the back of a car. Even someone with lots of money won't waste the cash on a hotel room when some girls will just do it anywhere."
"Well, can you blame them?" a girl chimed in, "If you were some ugly slob would you say no to someone so hot and rich like HIM? I would even say yes !"
"Oh, Cullen's not that hot." Mike Newton snorted.
Now I felt sick to my stomach. Oh no, don't let them be talking about Edward, please. I was gripping my pen so tight my fingers were reddening.
"Pulleaasse !" the girl argued, "He could take me right here on the fucking desk if he wanted to ! In front of all you losers."
"Well he doesn't want to." Another boy said, "I've never seen him even TALK to a girl, besides Jessica Stanley, and then he just told her to fuck off."
"Now we know why." Nick snickered, "He's a chubby chaser."
Then his foot gave a hard kick to the back of my chair.
They all laughed as tears filled my eyes. I was getting mad, and not because they were talking about me. I hated them tearing Edward up this way.
"Hey, it makes a little sense." Mike Newton said, "Not a lot of work involved, you just give her a couple compliments and she's spreading her legs."
"More cushion for the pushin'" Nick giggled.
That's when I lost it.
I spun around and through my tears I was screaming at them.
"FUCK YOU, YOU ASSHOLES!!" I screeched, turned towards them as they stared back at me with stunned expressions, "Edward NEVER touched me! He wouldn't do that !! He's one million times better than any of you !! We're not even FRIENDS, really ! He gave me a ride to school and his sister was in the back seat the WHOLE TIME! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT !!"
Mr. Harris looked up, not doing a thing to silence me. But I stood up as fast as I could, using my great new cane, and getting my backpack on, leaving the classroom, slamming the door behind me. I didn't care, I had to cry and I had to get out of there. There was only ten minutes left of class anyway. I didn't even turn in my sheet. Screw it.
I wobbled to the nearest sanctuary, the girls' room. No one was in there and I went to a pink stall, locking it, standing there, bracing my good hand against the wall, bent over a bit, sobbing and trembling as the tears ran down my face.
Words could hurt more than a blade. I should've been used to being cut by now. But this was different. They were so cruel about Edward. I didn't get it. Edward should be ruling the school, and all these jerks should be trying to impress him to get into his circle. Instead, they were bashing him. Jealous. Whatever, I wouldn't sit by while anyone talked shit about him. Funny, I wouldn't defend myself but when someone else was the victim, I became an animal. I had to admit, it did feel good, blowing up like that.
At the same time, how could I face Edward now? I cried, thinking about it.
He would probably stay as far from me as possible now. I even saw someone else taking over my therapy classes now. All because he was being nice to me, driving me to school for a grand total of 15 minutes. It wasn't fair. Because he did a good deed, he was paying the price for it now.
Part of me thought maybe he'd be cruel to me now, to prove to everyone that he didn't do anything with me. Oh God. If that happened, I would never come here again.
The bell rang. Time for lunch. I left the stall and went to the mirror, fixing a little of the run makeup. My eyes looked so red inside. I looked away, putting on my glasses and taking a breath, heading to lunch to get it over with.
I got to the door but couldn't go through it. I couldn't go to lunch. I stood there for 15 minutes, crying and standing in the bathroom, frozen. I kept seeing Edward's humiliated face, looking at me with regret. Regret that he ever got mixed up with me.
Then I heard a little knock on the other side of the door. I jumped back an inch, wondering who would knock on a girls' bathroom door. People just walked in then found a stall, you didn't have to knock.
"Bella?" a deep lovely voice said, "I know you're in there."
It was him. What was he doing?
I stayed quiet. He couldn't KNOW I was in here. He would go away now.
"Please don't make me talk to the door, Bella." He almost pleaded, "Come out."
Still I kept my mouth shut. It would be better this way. He was still trying to be nice but now he'd leave me alone and be free to tell his friends he didn't know me. I would never even look at him again to spare him more of this crap.
"Alright, if it has to be this way, fine." He said, pushing open the door and coming in, his back against the inside of the door now so no one else could come in. He was looking at me as I went to the sink, pretending to wash my hands.
"Why didn't you answer me?" he asked.
I cleared my throat and muttered, "Didn't hear you."
"Lie." He snapped back.
"What do you want?" I tried not to cry.
"You weren't at lunch." He stated.
"I don't feel well." I lied.
"If you're sick, you should go to the nurse." He said, his tone sarcastic, as if he knew I was full of it.
"You don't want to miss therapy again and not have a nurse's note." He informed, "That physical therapy guy will destroy you."
He smirked at this and I almost smiled too but then I was done washing my hands, drying them off on a paper towel.
"I'm not sick like that." I informed, I couldn't look in his face.
"I think you should get something to eat." He pointed out, a friendly voice.
I sighed and just made myself say it.
"I'm not going to lunch anymore." I said.
"What?" he sounded like he thought I was crazy.
"I hate lunch, I don't eat much during it anyway, so I really don't need it." I informed, "I'll stay here instead."
He was silent for a moment, then scoffed, "In the bathroom?! Every day ?!"
"No big deal." I shrugged, "I've done it before."
He let out a breath. "Bella, what am I going to do with you?"
"Or I'll go to the library." I offered. Please go away, please, please.
"No." he said finally.
I peeked up at him and he looked frustrated.
"What?"
"No." he said, as if it were his decision.
"Therapy guy says you need your lunch." Edward stated, "It helps if you keep your strength up. You'll need it when Gym class starts. And he also says you should have more than one little apple for lunch, too."
"Edward, just go to lunch, please?" I whined, turning away from him. He was being so cute and my heart was breaking that I wouldn't get to see him that much anymore.
"No." he folded his arms, "Not without you. My reasons are purely selfish, of course, therapy guy sometimes takes over Edward and there's a climactic struggle for power. Right now, therapy guy is winning."
Well, therapy guy can kiss my ass.
But I couldn't say that.
"I'm so hungry." Edward groaned, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. He tapped his head back and forth on the door behind it, waiting.
"Then go eat." I snapped, not giving in. I was trying to save his reputation, why was he being so difficult? Go back with your friends, Edward, please. Forget about me.
"I can't now." He said sadly, "Therapy guy won't let me go without you. And I'm starving. Come on. It's Domino Pizza day."
I let out a little laugh.
"Bella, if you don't come," Edward warned, "I don't know what therapy guy will do to you once you get to the hospital. But I assure you, it won't be pretty."
I smiled down at my boots, then looked at his boyish smirk.
"Yea, he's scary." I agreed with that at least.
"He has to be." Edward said with a gentle but firm tone, staring at my face.
"I know." I replied, feeling my face get hot again, my eyes were wet too.
"Bella." Edward took a breath, "I want to try it."
My face went confused. Try what? Lunch? Domino Pizza ? That made no sense.
"Try what?" I asked.
"Being your friend." He said in a low voice, as if this was a dangerous experiment. His eyes looked deeply into mine, as if he was trying to read my thoughts.
It killed me to say the words. But I did.
"I thought you said you didn't want to be friends." I heard my voice crack.
"I said we shouldn't be friends, not that I didn't WANT to be." He pointed out.
"We can't." I cried now, "It's too late."
"Why?" he sounded rejected now, his eyes hurt.
"You know why." I sneered, turning away, "The whole school is saying that we---"
He didn't say anything.
"You know what they're saying." I said, my heart breaking, "You should hear what they were saying about you…I won't do this to you, Edward. You've been so nice to me and I appreciate it, but…I don't want to do anything to hurt you. You'll lose all your friends and they'll treat you like they treat me. I'd die before I let that happen. So please just go away and tell everyone that you don't know me. That's what I've told them."
"First, I don't have any friends." He said with a serious voice, "Second, I don't give a DAMN what people think or say about me. And it really bothers me what you said."
"What?"
"About you don't even know me." He sounded upset now, "How we're not really friends. I don't know about you, but I consider you my friend. You're the one person I've met in this school who I would like to try and be friends with. But you're too scared to try."
"I want to try." I almost sobbed, "But I'm too…"
"If this is another self deprecating comment about yourself, I'm going to get mad." He warned.
"Look, this is very simple." He came over to me, "Would you like to try and be friends? Yes or no."
I loved him, I worshipped him. If I could open a little church dedicated to him, I'd be there every Sunday to kneel at his statue.
"Yes." I had to say it, "But let's do what I said. We can be friends after school, on weekends maybe. During school, let's just go our separate ways."
"No, no, no." he shook his head, giving me a glare, "Bella, it's time to be brave now. No secret meetings, no pretend I don't know you games. Come with me."
He went and opened the girls' room door, snapping his fingers to make me hurry up and go out the door first.
"Move it, Swan." He said with a low, half kidding voice. It seemed therapy guy was in there a little bit, dieing to come out, "Don't make me throw you over my shoulder and take you there."
"To lunch. Now." He followed me closely, then was at my side as we got there.
I was too scared to say anything as we went in but then Edward went in and stood up on a plastic chair, saying in a loud voice:
"Hi everyone. This will just take a minute. Bella Swan and I are going to be having lunch together today. We have decided to try and be friends. We thank all of you for your kind and generous support and if anyone has a problem with this, please write your little minded concerns down and flush them down my suggestion box in the boy's bathroom. Thank you. Have a nice lunch."
Some people laughed, others clapped a little and talking resumed as Edward hopped off the chair, turning to me and raising his eyebrows.
"There." He grabbed two trays, "Let's eat, shall we?"
And he says he's a bad guy. My face was hot and purple, I was sure but I didn't care. If I was teased every day for the rest of forever, I didn't care. He really did want to be my friend. He wasn't ashamed of me. I cried silently, hiding my face for a moment as I followed him to the lunch line. Trying to hide it from him as his lovely shoulder blades caught my attention, he waited in front of me to grab some food. He was adorable in a short sleeved black t-shirt and a snug pair of light blue jeans, white and black sneakers. Man, his butt looked nice in jeans. Hell, his butt would look nice in a garbage bag.
He turned to me, looking at my face with doubt in his eyes now.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yea." I managed a little smile at him, "I just can't believe you did that. No one has ever done anything like that for me before."
You are so brave. I love you.
"I didn't do it for you, I did it for us." He turned away, taking a couple containers of milk and putting them on his tray, "I haven't had a lot of practice at this friend stuff, so if I do something wrong, you'll have to tell me. No more hiding in the bathroom. No more keeping it inside. Okay? If we want to be good friends, we have to talk to each other and be honest."
"You make it sound so easy." I took a slice of pizza and an apple, getting what I wanted for lunch now.
"It isn't." he turned to me, "I know that. It's gonna be hard for me, too, you know. Being honest. I have things about me that I've never told anyone before. Secret things. Things that might make you not want to be my friend if you knew."
"I doubt that." I scoffed, "I don't throw friends away. I mean, if I had any. Whatever you tell me, it's just between us. I swear to God. And I would never stop being your friend because of anything you tell me. I promise."
He paid for his lunch and I showed my little card, blushing as he smiled at me, leaving the line together.
"I promise too." He agreed, then on a lighter note, he said, as we walked, "I like your choice of table, too, by the way."
He sat at my regular table right outside the line and again, let me get my own chair and sit myself.
"Thanks." I blushed, "I usually go for the empty one that's real close by. Passing lots of kids while searching for a table is so…not fun."
"You just have to stop being so scared of them." Edward pointed out, shaking up a milk and opening it, "You give them power by being afraid of them. One day we'll work on shooting dirty looks at people. And watch. Even the coolest kid will crumble and look away. I do that all the time. It works."
I took a bite of my pizza and said, "Sure, it works for you. It wouldn't work for me, though."
"Monday I will teach you." He announced, "You'll see."
"Uh oh." I chuckled, "Is teacher Edward anything like therapy Edward?"
"Not at all." He grinned, "He's very nice, patient, super intelligent…" he laughed at himself as I joined him.
"Wow." I commented, "I can't wait to meet HIM."
"Wait until our mid terms." He took a sip of milk, then held it in his mouth for a second before swallowing it. I looked at him for a second with concern, then he smiled at me, licking his lips with a little shudder.
"You okay?" I asked, taking a sip of my orange fanta.
"Fine." He smiled more, "It just…went down the wrong pipe for a sec."
"I should drink more milk." I commented, "But I love soda."
But obviously, as I look over you, Edward, I can see it's true. Milk does a body GOOD.
Edward's eyes went stern for a moment and he stopped himself, saying, "Therapy guy tried to come out but I restrained him."
"Thanks." I smiled more, shutting out the rest of the lunchroom. I didn't give a damn what anyone else was saying or thinking, as he had said. And I felt free…light like a breeze.
"Uh, Bella." He said, "About that."
He paused then looked down at the table, then back at me.
"Therapy guy…can we pretend that he's someone else, besides me?" he asked carefully, "Like another teacher ? Not Edward Cullen?"
"Okay." I answered, not understanding.
"During the day, I'm Edward." He explained, "17 year old student, your friend, scholar extraordinaire." He laughed with me then added, "But when therapy happens, I have to be…Adolf, therapy guy. I don't want you to be mad at Edward for anything Adolf says or does. Is that okay?"
He looked so fragile, as if afraid to hurt my feelings.
"Yes, it's okay." I agreed, understanding him now, "You have a job to do and I'm not easy, I know. You will have to be tough on me. I give you permission to be as evil as you have to be."
"Evil?" he smiled, totally amused by my word.
"Yes, therapy guy is evil." I stated like a fact.
"Good." Edward grinned then picked up a green apple, looking at me and quickly biting deep into it, crunching as he chewed it. He had a strange face on as he ate, like he was chewing glass.
"You don't look like you're enjoying that." I giggled but his face turned nervous then.
"I am." He sounded defensive.
"Okay." I backed off, and he swallowed, a large chunk moving down his throat, I noticed he swallowed the whole bite in one gulp. That had to hurt his throat. But I said nothing.
After a couple minutes, after we'd finished eating, we had 15 more minutes to go until Biology. Edward informed me we'd be cutting into our frogs soon, probably on Monday, and he took out his book to test me on where the liver, heart, lungs were inside a frog. I think I impressed Quiz Master Edward because he drew a little star on my hand with his pen, and said, "Very good."
I laughed, "I thought you didn't give easy praise."
He widened his eyes and made a face as if I'd said something so stupid.
"That's therapy Edward, not ME." He reminded, "Gosh."
I giggled, "Gosh?!"
"How easy you forget our deal." He teased, grabbing my good hand with the star on it, jerking it towards him, "I'm taking my star back."
He acted like he was going to pour the milk in his container on my hand as I struggled, laughing and screaming, "NO! Edward, DON'T!!"
I don't think he ever intended to do it, but finally he let me go, smiling at me as I tried to stop laughing. I liked the fun side of him. At this moment, I felt like the luckiest, most pretty, most popular girl in school. It was magic. I almost thought magic wasn't real…until now.
I glanced up a second and saw Jessica Stanley staring daggers at us. I wanted to stick my tongue out at her. I can't believe I tried to be nice to her in the bathroom.
"Edward!" Alice cupped her hands around her mouth and called his name. He turned, seeing her.
She waved him over and my heart sank. His brothers and sisters were there with no other friends at the table again, and they were staring at us.
Edward groaned and turned to me, "Can you excuse me for a minute?"
God, I love you. He asks my permission to go. What a gentleman. I didn't think they made these anymore.
"I excuse you…" I joked, giving a royal wave of my hand, "You have 59 seconds to get back here."
He raised a brow and laughed, surprised by my remark and muttered, "I better move it, then."
He went over to his old table, sitting next to Alice. She was talking to him with a smile and Emmett was saying something, too, grinning from ear to ear, glancing over at me, giving me a thumbs up sign. I blushed and looked down, needing something to do instead of just staring at them like they stole my puppy.
I took out my book about mythical creatures and flipped through it, seeing that the first half of the book was all about noble and good creatures. When you get to the middle, you turn the book upside down and the rest is about evil and dark creatures. Cool.
I was reading about Wind Singers. The name was beautiful. Irish wood sprites that drive mortal men insane with their voices. It seems their voices are too beautiful for mortal ears. How gorgeous, I smiled, loving that. Edward's voice was like that. I need help. Everything I do now is somehow related back to him. I have to stop that. This morning in Home Ec, I was picturing Edward eating my Sheppard's Pie.
I quickly got lost as I read and almost forgot about Edward coming back to the table. I was prepared for him not to return. But then I heard a voice behind me, up a bit, looking over my shoulder.
"Encyclopedia of things that never were." The sweet voice read aloud. I jumped, turning towards it, seeing Edward there, tilting his head a bit to the side, reading what I was reading.
Right away, I started to quickly explain myself.
"Oh, I just thought it would be fun." I tried to hide the words with my arm, "It's…stupid, really. None of it's real."
He ignored my nervous breakdown, moving my arm away from the book with a tender smirk, not buying my cool act. Great, he'd think I was a bigger nerd now.
Without a word, he spun the book around, gracefully opening it so I was right on the center page that read "All things Evil." A solid black background made the bloody words look positively sinister.
He walked over to his seat across from me and sat, not saying another word.
"I wonder if therapy guy is in here." I joked, turning the page as he tried to hide a smile. Something was wrong. He looked sad, when earlier, he was so fun and carefree.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Yes." He said, opening his Biology book again.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No."
"Are you mad at me?"
"No!"
"Is everything okay, with Alice and everyone?" I was fishing, searching for what made him upset. He was smart enough to know it.
He closed his book, staring at the cover.
"They don't like me." I realized as I said it.
"That's not true." He said right away, his eyes deadly, then he softened them, saying, "They just don't…understand. Alice loves you. She wanted to sit here today but I didn't think it was a good idea yet. You're my friend. And you've been through a lot today."
I loved the way he said that. You're MY friend.
Then he smiled more and said, "Emmett is in love with you, too. I heard you had a big fight today in History."
"Oh God." I cringed, "Emmett told you?"
"Not exactly." He said, "But I heard it."
"I made a total jerk out of myself." I pouted, looking down at my book.
"No you didn't." Edward argued, "You were great. I was so proud of you."
I was a little confused but I didn't want to question Edward about what he'd heard. He was proud of me. I wouldn't talk my way out of it.
"I guess I have a little anger in me after all." I admitted.
"I knew that." He said proudly, "Therapy guy told me."
"Oh yea?" I cracked back, "What else did he say about me?"
"Well, he didn't like it when you lied." Edward grinned, "That's why he gave you detention in that nasty way yesterday. He thinks you're better than that. Always tell the truth, he says. And…" he pretended to be thinking, "He says you have it in you to be tough. And that he plans to dig into your inner anger and keep slapping it until you're on your feet, walking away in your little huff like you did today in History ."
"Did you see it?" I asked and he looked strangely at me, "I mean, it sounds like you were there, the way you talk about it."
"I did." He said then I tensed. He added, "It was on the news."
The bell rang and Edward rose to his feet, waiting patiently for me as I started to get up, then I gasped.
"What?" he almost came over to me.
"I can't believe it, but with all that happened in History and the bathroom, I totally forgot." I shivered, tears in my eyes.
"What?" he repeated, sounding frustrated.
"This cane you gave me." I said, holding it up as kids rushed by us, not listening, "It is the best thing I've ever gotten."
"Oh, no," he shrugged, "It's not that –"
"Edward." I cut him off, "It means so much to me. You'll never know. I love it. I'll always keep it."
"You won't need it for very long." He almost promised by the tone of his voice.
"Well, regardless." I said, "I'll never give it away or throw it away. I'm even saving the BOX. Thank you so much, for everything. The therapy, the cane, the tissues, that was a funny touch, by the way, and…this." I motioned to the table, referring to our lunch together.
Not to mention how you saved my life.
"You're welcome." He said quietly, then, "Shall we go?"
"Yes." I smiled, wobbling as he slowly walked beside me, taking my back pack off my shoulder, carrying it for me.
On the way to class, I informed him my cane's name was Leo. He laughed at that, rolling his eyes, saying he thought it was a girl.
"No way," I argued, holding up the bottom tip of it, a huge rubbery padded piece there, "Look at his parts ! That's a man."
"Oh. My. God." Edward pretended to be shocked, walking a little away from me, as if ashamed to be with me, "I don't know you, go away."
I laughed because I knew he was kidding. I tried to touch the back of his leg with the end of my cane as he squealed, dodging out of it's way.
"Don't !" he giggled, "Now I can't stop looking at it, UKKK. Don't !!"
"I have a magic wand" I laughed, every time I waved it near Edward he would spin and move out of its reach. I loved watching him move. He was like smoke, like wind.
"Dance, boy, dance." I waved my cane, enjoying having this little power over him at the moment.
"You evil witch !" he played the part of poor helpless victim, under my spell.
"You belong to me now." I teased, in an evil queen voice, "You will dance for me."
"Alright stop." He was laughing until we reached the class door, "We're in class now."
Such a good little boy. So studious and obedient. I wondered if he had any bad boy moments. I could see us cutting class to go smoke pot or something. No, not this boy. He was pure as the driven snow, I could tell. But I liked that. I was no bad ass.
He walked respectfully in the room and took his seat on his window side, leaving room for me to get in on my end.
The heat fan was blowing again and I was glad for the extra heat. However, Edward stood up and before the rest of the class could come in, he was asking, "Mr. Banner, can we kill the heat fan today? It's so hot in here."
"Uh, I guess so, Edward, if you're uncomfortable, go ahead." He shrugged, writing something on the board.
"Great." He yanked the plug out of the wall, then quickly came back to his seat.
Now, I know I smell nice today. I checked again and I could still smell the perfume Alice dotted on me. Obsession. I could smell it all day on myself and I loved it.
But I decided not to worry about it right now and agreed that maybe he was hot. Well, we all know he's hot, but I mean temperature wise.
I took a breath, hearing the bell ring. I didn't know how long this friendship of ours would last or what other pitfalls awaited me, but for now, I was going to enjoy it. I was happy. And Biology class was starting, me and my beautiful friend sitting side by side.
Sorry this was so long.
I couldn't stop.
Love
WinndSinger
See next chapter soon !