Planet of Guys
Disclaimer applied
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"Our engine is active."
"The fuel is full."
"The emergency materials are all there."
"Oh and Sakura-chan, we have the package!"
"Oh, joy."
The space ship was done. It was aerodynamic, the larger the wings are the better. The capacity inside was enough for everyone.
The package that Temari sent her was there. It was wrapped with red velvet ribbon, and there was an elegant writing on the box.
To: Sakura Haruno
I hope you enjoy it~~~
Give me a picture of you in this!
"The hell I will."
You'd probably said "The hell I will." So, take a picture or else.
"Or else what?"
The spring break party. Truth or Dare and Undergarments.
Yes, I'm blackmailing you.
Ciao~~
Temari, your sexy friend
"Oh, hell no."
The almighty Kyuubi was curious with the message on the box. What was it? Nah! Must be a girly message! Not serious. Those, what his mind says to him, but tell that to the mere human girl over there. The pink faerie punched through a brick wall with anger surround around her and grumbling something about, "that sly hostess" and "I swore there was no one there". What the hell meant?
"Girl, could I see the package?" Kyuubi asked with the curiosity in his voice. "I am curious." Well, curiosity killed the cat, right? Well, he's not a cat; he's the powerful fox demon. There's a difference…right?
"No." She said flat out.
"What'cha doin', pinkie?" Shukaku popped out.
"This demon is harassing me."
"What? No, I am just asking you to let me see the package please." His patience was almost done.
"Bite me."
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"Did you hear that?"
"What do you hear, Haku?"
"I think it was..a baby squirrel squealing in pain."
"Haku, you and your nature friends."
"Zabuza, maybe I was hallucinating."
"Yeah, since that pinkie came here."
"She maybe captured my…never mind."
"And she captured others' too."
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"I can't believe you fucking bit me."
"You asked for it."
"How do you not know it was an expression?"
Kyuubi took a minute to think of an answer. "I know it was an expression, it's just that.."
"Just what?"
"I want to taste you!"
"What?" Her guard was off.
Then he snatched it. The package in his hands was very peculiar. After those dreadful learning training, he mastered to read very fast and memorized them perfectly, he read the whole encyclopedia in a half hour, he just flipped all the pages.It was too easy he could this message in seconds.
After few seconds, "just what are you doing?" She tried to get it but he put it up to his height and he was damn tall. 7 a half feet 10 inches and she's what? She's just 5 feet 5 inches. God, she's so short. Sakura tried jump to get it but he put it up higher.
"What does she meant Truth or Dare? And what does undergarments includes here?"
She blushed furiously and he loves it. "Just keep it a secret."
He glances at the box and at her, repeat. Box, her, box, her, box, her-you get the process. "Fine, if you tell me what this message meant!" He huffed.
"Hello, I'm still here." The ignored Shukaku said. They still ignore him, he was like air.
"Fine…" She grumbled as she whispered the whole story in his right ear
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Woof!
"What's wrong Akamaru?"
Woof! Woof!
"That a fox and a faerie will be…"
Woof! Woof! Woof!
"Will be in a bad situation?"
Woof!
Shakes head. "What did Dr. Kabuto fed you these days?"
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"Wow." Kyuubi is flabbergasted that the whole story happened to her. He controls his alcohol in many different parties that have actual women. Thanks for his control of his alcohol that in the next morning he will not sleep with a disgusting woman. "Pinkie, you really should control your alcohol more often."
"Shut up." She blushed.
"Pinkie can't handle a drink?" Shukaku applied.
"Yes, Idiot." Kyuubi said with an insult to Shukaku. This is always their routine, insult towards each other, talk, brawls, insults, brawls, insults, insults and surprisingly they're still best friends.
"Hey, I just applied it! And you insult me? How dare you!"
Then they became bickering old ladies who are fighting for tapioca.
Sakura sighed; massaging her temples, god, this mission is killing her. The men in here are obnoxious snobby, ungrateful, infuriating, and she could list them in a whole book. "Men…"
"Pinkie! What up with the call with your friend from Earth? You were gossiping like the idiotic girls you were!" Kisame who popped out like Shukaku did. What's with people in here popping out of nowhere? Are they part of Whack of a Mole game or something?
The rest of the Akatsuki is here, they seemed to ask the same question too.
She jumped a little. "O-of course not! It's part of the plan, it maybe sounds silly but this package is very important to our plan." She pointed the package with red velvet ribbon wrapped around.
"So? That's not sound silly. Every single time this bastard." Kisame pointed to Hidan who yelled out curses, swears and words that are sacred. "Always online shopping for weapons and they were in packages like yours. We always use those weapons because they are important, one time he ordered a stupidly cute stuff toy, and we laughed until the stuff toy had one pair of machine guns."
The Akatsuki's faces that say 'Oh, yeah! I remember that shit!'
"So, what ever in that package can't be that silly your view, we have many sillier packages than yours." Kisame barked.
Sakura shakes her head. "No, the silly part is my mind is yelling, 'this is hell! I'm not gonna wear that piece of shit for just a mission!' Trust me if you know Temari, you would know."
Those words were imprinted in the Akatsuki's minds.
Everyone else was there for the meeting. The meeting includes their battle plans; the meeting in the castle was in for cleaning because Naruto's little slip up. He spilled a dozen of ramen on the floor, the walls and the table.
Someone cleared his throat; Pein's piercing voice captured everyone's ears. "Well, we need some people who will stay back, in case there's an ambush attack. Every one of you is perfect for it, who will volunteer?"
One hand rises.
"Jiraiya? I am surprised; you know there's a lot of hookers, strippers, prostitutes and easy girls there, right?" Pein said with a hint of amusement.
The pervert is sobbing loudly, "really, Pein? Why you must applied the best attraction in Venus? Why? You know I have a lover! And Tsunade will kill me!"
"You have no idea." Sakura grumbled.
"Sakura-chan, don't tell on me, again!" He begged, "or else I will pinch your cheeks to death." He pinches her cheeks as he stretches it.
"I wilf if you keef on doivng yourv perverted thingsv." She hardly pronounces her sentence because he keeps on pinching her cheeks.
So she pinches that old pervert cheeks as payback, she pinches like he did with both hands. Sakura and Jiraiya cried a little because of the pain in their cheeks but when someone pinch it harder the other one pinch it more painful. They keep doing the same process. They look like children who are fighting for a toy.
Pein watched them. "Wait, you know each other?"
They look at him with tears in their eyes, and then she smacked him at the head while she rubbed her cheeks. "Well this pervert keeps Tsunade 'busy'." She said with a shed of disgust. "I swear there's nothing more I hate is that filthy Akuma but you two succeed by doing your making love."
"I remember Akuma! How is he? Are you two's love life is finally good?" He said unaware Sakura's fist clenched.
"Do not talk about that son of a bitch." Her eyes turned stone cold; her piercing gaze can make anybody cry with fear. Her eyes could tell all, sadness, anger, killing intent and fear.
The cold silence was strangling everyone's throats.
"Anyways," Pein broke the silence. "Any more volunteers?"
"I will assist you." Orochimaru said. "Because that perv-idiot can't be alive for one second when the ambush started because he will read his disgusting porn books the whole time." He pointed the so-called perv-idiot.
"Great the two great masters are a perfect combination but we need two more."
No one raised their hands.
"Sweet heart, do not worry any longer!" The sweet velvet voice rang through Sakura, Kankuro and Gaara's ears.
"Oh hell no." They all said as the shivers went through their backs.
She was there with all her glory. Her four spiky blonde pig-tails was recognizable, her blue-green mix eyes sparkled with determination, her lips were painted with a beautiful scarlet color, her ears was pierced with big silver hoops, her ruby necklace was shiny and her revealing outfit was a long velvet silky dress with a V almost down to her breast, her left leg was showing with pride and her dress was backless. She scampered around with her red hot heels.
"Huns, we are here! Me and my posse are here!" She said with a striking pose, she made her finger a peace hands then she put it sideways on her left eye and her right eye was closed as she stuck her tongue out.
Her posse was her clients, powerful clients. They have strong biceps and they have been working out to impress 'Lady Temari'. When she did the pose, they did the power rangers pose.
"And you are?" Pein asked as he watched them weirdly.
She gasped and her posse gasped too. "Why my little brothers and my sweet Sakura didn't tell you?" Temari did a dramatic fall. "Why Sakura, Kankuro and Gaara? Why?" Then a spotlight shone her as she did another dramatic pose, "Why you never tell him that I am your awesome older sister, Gaara, Kankuro?", and her men anime-cried, "and Sakura why you never tell them your sexy best friend?"
"Neh, we never tell them because you are like that." Sakura, Kankuro and Gaara said with the sweat-drops each one of them
Pein sighed. "Anyways, are you good at fights or weapons?"
"Of course! One time I kicked Kankuro and Gaara's ass to Mars because they were naughty."
Snickers and giggles came.
"Any weapons?"
"This fan." She pointed the regular sized fan with three purple circles.
"And what does it do?"
Hidan whispered but everyone heard it. "She's gonna fan them to death!" He snorted. Hidan really needs his mouth shut.
"This fan is my specialty." Then all of a sudden it transformed into huge fan that is size of a human and the width of two men. "And in each side there's snakes venom needles that can kill in seconds." She swings it around that causes sharp wind slices. The trees around them sliced into pieces and the ground chopped like huge brownies. "You know I could fan you to death." She said to Hidan who pee his pants.
"Great but we need one more member."
"JIRAIYA! WHAT'S WITH THE LETTER YOU SENT ME?" It was like an angry mama bear who found her babies was in danger.
"Tsunade-chan…hehehe….it was just a prank?" He tried to have an excuse.
"Why you little perv!" She then did a sucker punch to him, in Earth's doctors they would say, he was most likely dead but the old man was still alive.
"Greetings, my majesty." Sakura bowed in respect.
"Good day. I would like to be a volunteer."
Pein chuckled a bit who was very amused with her entrance, now he knows where Sakura's fury came from. "You're the Queen?"
"Yeah, got the problem there, buster?" She glared.
Pein backed away a little bit. "No, no, of course not." He doesn't want to anger her because what happened to Jiraiya. "Since you already showed your weapons, your fists and your power exceeds most of my men, you are in."
"Wait, Queen who is in charge?" Sakura asked with worry in her eyes.
"Shizune."
"Is she okay with you coming here?"
"Wwweeellllll."
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"Queen! Where are you?"
She found a little note that said to her.
Shizune, I'm gonna help my god-daughter and I'm gonna punch Jiraiya to Mars, again.
Yours truly, Tsunade
Shizune sighed, then that means she's in charged.
"Everything fine, Shizune-sama?" Hayate asked, he was the lead guard and the leader of the Earth's men.
"Get me one machine gun with six dozen bullets with it."
"Why?"
"To get ready for the war."
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"Okay, we are ready for takeoff." Tsunade said from the control room.
"Yes we are but who the hell is the pilot?" Zetsu asked. The plant man was curious who is it, Hidan and Kakuzu was great at piloting except they kept on bickering.
"I am." Sakura said with boredom in her eyes.
"You can fly a damn space ship, Flower?" He kept on looking in her viridian eyes that made him want to kiss it all day with love.
"Of course, you know why Hidan and Kakuzu's space ship was damaged?"
"Why is that?" He dares to ask.
"Because that was just a fucking lucky shot, right, Kazu?" Hidan grumbled as he sits down on his seat.
Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "Do not include me into this nonsense." Why his seat is beside with this foul-mouth albino masochist?
"Hn."
"WHY AM I SITS BESIDES WITH THIS TEME?"
"Kisame, stop eating my dango, you're being foolish. Your seat is beside, don't be so disgusting."
"Sorry, but your cooking last night tastes like shit and I'm still hungry."
"Zabuza, I see our seats are besides each other."
"I see, Haku."
"Pein, why do I need to sit right beside, puppet boy, un?"
"That's what I want tell him, blonde transvestite."
"Tobi is a good boy, Tobi is a good boy! Right, Suigetsu?"
"Will you shut up? I want to drink my water in peace!"
"Kimimaro, I can't wait for this trip."
"Jugo…are you coming down a fever?"
"Kankuro, stop playing with your dolls!"
" Gaara, I will stop when you stop playing with your sand!"
"Kabuto-san you are very good with your medical work, how is it?
"Thank you for the compliment, Neji-san, it's great to work of my dream job."
"Shino! Ack…your bugs keeps on….bugging me!"
"….Kiba, your dog keeps on licking my feet, make it stop."
"So troublesome, thank gods that I'm gonna use the empty seat beside me as a bed."
"Kakashi, stop having a nose bleed if there is an explicit scene in your trash book."
"Madara, how dare you call this trash? It's like every man's dream to be laid."
"Shukaku, you pig, that is my bag of gummy bears!"
"It's mine! I got it first! Kyuubi no baka!"
Pein sighed, how he ever leaded these men as killing machines, thank gods he doesn't have a partner beside him. He really likes to have Yahiko and Konan in their group again; sadly, they can't because they are married, honey moons, safety and that useless stuff. "I hate love."
Sakura who was on the front seat for pilots only and after hearing those imbeciles arguing, she just wants to crash the space ship to make them shut up. She heard Pein, she looked back with her goggles on for pilots and head gear. "Welcome to the club."
Pein widen his ringed eyes.
"Engines are fine, Sakura. The warm up is done, everything is fine. The only thing is missing is to put them their seat belts." Tsunade applied from the control room.
"EVERYBODY PUT ON YOUR DAMN SEAT BELTS!" Sakura yelled who was gripping the wheel and looking the front.
Then they argued.
"HELL NO, BITCH!"
"IT'S MY LIFE, YOU CAN'T CONTROLL ME!"
"SEAT BELTS ARE FOR PUSSIES!"
"FUCK TO THE NO, SHE-MA-"
Her patience is done, it was out. "DO IT OR THOSE WHO'LL ARGUES WITH ME WILL FACE THE CONCEQUENCES!"
I'm glad you're back Inner, how's your vacation?
Fabulous.
"I LIKE PAIN! YOU CAN'T FUCKING KILL ME! I'M IMMORTAL, BEOTCH!"
"I WILL RIP OFF THE PART OF YOUR BODY THAT'LL MAKE BABIES."
That shut up everyone.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Ah, the sound of putting on seat belts and the sweet silence. Now this is heaven.
"Tsunade, the passengers of Leaf X.2 are ready, ahem. I am sorry Queen but Inner is back."
"Hi Inner, you still a flirt? Anyways, Countdown to 10."
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"Everybody has their disguises?" She asks them, their plan will be flawless.
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They raise their disguises.
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"Do you have your disguise, Sakura?" Pein asked.
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"Sadly, yes." She begrudgingly grumbled with a hint of killing intent for a certain blonde hostess.
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"Anyone who needs to go to the bathroom, do not worry we have a bathroom right across the hall, just don't make it smell like shit of shitopia with the side of shitty crap of all crapiness. Got it?" She said sternly.
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They all nodded.
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"Good."
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Silence over took. She gripped her wheel, her feet are ready to step on the power, and her whole body was ready. She was born ready. No one can stop her from doing what she likes. No one can hold her down nor tame her. No one ever will.
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"Hold tight!" Sakura yelled over. She stepped on the power, gripped her wheel, and pressed buttons to be able have enough speed, lift and overcome gravity. She grinned, that malice grin was determined with everything. "Revenge, bitch."
Blast off!
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I am glad that my reviews are 46 but I really appreciate if it's 50. I am sorry if I ask too much.
God, my neck is killing me.
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