Chapter Ten

Love and Aggression

Seras stared triumphantly at her hand, as though she had never seen it before. She moved it forward once again and watched as it melded with the stone surface of the wall, passing through as though the wall was nothing but an illusion.

A slow smirked crept across her lips as she allowed her body to follow after her venturing fingertips, passing completely through into the next room (which, as it turned out, was an unoccupied bedchamber).

Amazing what a little practice does, she assured herself. She didn't know why she felt so obliged to further her abilities, but somewhere deep in her mind, a voice was telling her that this would be the only way to make her worthy of her master's affection- his whole affection. Vlad and Alucard.

She had come to terms with it. The man her heart cried out for did not yet exist.

Sighing, Seras slid onto the empty bed and stared into the red velvet of the canopy. Somehow... she had thought coming to terms with her feelings would ease their presence, or at least lesson her confusion. Yet her heart ached more than it ever had, now with the weight of the task that lay before her. She knew that if she could not succeed, she could never give herself to Alucard.

And with every drop of blood she took into her body, her lust would swell. Perhaps this was because she knew Alucard would drink from her when she seemed well enough fed, and that alone was enough to drive her mad. Or perhaps it was because her fantasy's had taken on a different angle as of late, an angle involving her master and herself, and her sinking her fangs deep into his throat. Whenever she drank, she imagined it was his blood- it seemed that only his blood could truly satiate her.

But if I drank... I would no longer be his fledgling, she reminded herself sadly. And if I cannot be that, then what am I?

Her mind rang out with a very tempting, unlikely answer. His queen.

Seras let her head fall into her hands, groaning with frustration. She felt like a lovestruck teenager- though, she mused to herself, most teenage girls did not imagine draining their boyfriend's blood. Every time she thought of him, carnage seemed to play some sort of role in her imagination. Admittedly, she had yet to see him on the battlefield, but she often dreamed about him killing his enemies and laughing as he bathed in their blood.

God, I'm twisted, she realized, smirking faintly. Have I really sunk so low in such a short time?

She knew the answer. It was the one that in the beginning she had feared- she had become a vampire, inside and out. There was no war in her thoughts, only her, perfectly at peace with herself, fantasizing about ripping out throats.

Yet her desire to spare the innocent had lingered, so she could only conclude that part of her personality as a human had carried over, despite her raging thirst. That only furthered her sense of inner peace. It was as though the two halves had met in the middle and melded, and not that one had swallowed the other.

With that thought in mind, she forced herself to rise from the bed, and then phase through the floor. It was a draining task, though she was certain that with practice, she could build endurance.

She decided to walk the rest of the way to the library, to conserve her energy as best as she could. The past few days had all been more or less the same: eat, work, read, sleep. In that order, without fail. Her comfort was that once she finished her research, a soft coffin was waiting for her to curl up in.

Her master had sent one of the castle servants into the village to have a new one made, despite that she had offered to sleep in one of the former bride's coffins. Alucard had only smirked and lit them all on fire, saying that there was a legend that if you burn a vampire's coffin, they will die.

Seras was not sure how true that was, despite having read about it in a few books. She had come to understand many things in her stay at the library. "Willing Blood" for instance was a rare occasion when a deflowered human offers his/her life to a vampire with full knowledge of what awaits them beyond the grave. Apparently it was a truly rare thing, but gave great power to the vampire, because they thus encased a free life within them.

Seras found Alucard's library to be fascinating. It was riddled with diaries of every kind of monster imaginable. There was an entire wing dedicated to "Vampire Hunters" and another to "Dhampir," or half-human, half-vampire creatures. Dhampir turned out to be a myth, as there had never been a documented case of a real one, but Seras found the extensiveness of the collection to suggest that Alucard had at one point or another fascinated himself with the thought of impregnating a human girl.

After centuries of life, it was not a surprise that he had done, seen and tried everything within his power. It only made her realize how much his inferior she actually was. No matter how hard she worked, power truly was only earned with time, and she would never catch up to him.

The thought was disheartening, but she managed to convince herself that she did not need to be his equal- only his servant. As long as she worked hard enough to stay by his side, she could remain content.

Alucard rarely bothered her when she was training or reading on her own. From time to time she thought she felt his presence enter the room, but when she turned, he was never there. She was working her way through the section on vampire hunter's since it was a vampire hunter who had placed the curse on her master.

From what she could gather, there were two primary clans: the Hellsing's and the Belmont's. The other names she found were sporadic. The Belmont's were supposedly extinct, but the Hellsing's still lived, in England no less. Alucard had been tracking them religiously, and held many modern documents that seemed to relate to them. Mysterious killing sprees that mysteriously solved themselves, and a picture of a woman with ice blue eyes at the crime scene saying "no questions."

Seras had no choice but to believe that this young Hellsing was in fact the descendent of the great Abraham Hellsing, the one that had caused her master's soul to split. Why else would Alucard have followed her so closely? Well, other than the fact that she was quite beautiful...

No, no jealousy! Seras barked at herself.

But you're rather charming when you're jealous, Alucard's all-too-familiar voice crooned in her head.

Seras felt herself color, and not because he had called her charming. It was nothing, Master, just a reflex.

Why do you sound so apologetic? Didn't I just say I find it charming?

Seras shut the file containing Integral Hellsing's picture and reshelved it. You're hungry, aren't you? She asked.

Very perceptive, he mused approvingly. How can you tell?

You'd never call me "charming" otherwise, she replied dimissively.

He chuckled as he materialized barely inches from her, entrapping her from behind and sniffing her neck eagerly. Charming isn't the best word to describe the way you are now. You're more like a porcupine that can't decide if it should keep it's quills up or down.

I'm a busy porcupine, so make it quick, please, she said.

Don't pretend you don't like it when I feed from you, he said playfully, giving her throat a gentle nip.

Seras pointedly ignored the way any sort of physical attention from him stimulated her, though she was certain that he knew exactly how in control of her he really was.

She had made up her mind- she would not sleep with him until she had both halves of his heart, if ever such a time would come. She knew very well that even if she found a way to break her master's curse, he may no longer wish for her company. She truthfully did not know what would happen in the end. All she knew was that her sole purpose in this life was to serve him without fail, and she was determined to do so despite Alucard's skepticism and Vlad's objections. They were so... unbalanced without each other, and neither seemed truly able to comprehend this. They couldn't see themselves floundering simultaneously, because neither had an objective opinion about the situation.

Seras wondered what her master would be like when he had reunited with his old self. What name would he go by? Which personality quirks would be the most prominent? Would he be vague like Alucard, or straightforward like Vlad? Would he be gentle, or rough, passive or aggressive? Her imagination ran wild with the possibilities.

Of one thing she was certain though; he would be the perfect vampire.

You're not paying attention, Alucard muttered. He sounded annoyed.

Only then did Seras realize that he had been attempting to arouse her by messaging her hips and thighs as he kissed her throat.

She tried to hide her smile at the disappointment in his eyes. "Wouldn't it make it easier if you just bit me?" she suggested. "You know I'm not going to sleep with you, so what's the point in trying to excite me?"

Perhaps I just find it entertaining, he replied. When you pay attention that is.

I'm sorry, Master, but I'd rather not, she informed him. As attractive as a fledgling finds her master, she does have feelings of her own, you know.

Stubborn, he said, cold air flushing from his nostrils and colliding with her skin. Very well, I'll take what I want and leave you to your pointless studies.

They're not pointless, Seras growled. I may not be closer to figuring out how to break your curse, but I am growing as a draculina.

The answer doesn't lie in books, he said, and there was a faint note of sadness in his voice that alarmed her.

Integral Hellsing, Seras muttered thoughtfully. Do you think that the heir of Hellsing could have the ability to release you?

No, he said. I am certain that she is no longer connected with what binds me. I am my own curse in this case.

You're own...? Seras began in confusion, then shook her head, realizing clarity and Alucard were two things that never went hand in hand. Then why do you follow her so closely?

Jealous again? He asked wickedly.

Seras huffed and glared up at him expectantly.

Alucard shrugged, grinning. She's a fascinating creature, isn't she? Twenty two years old with a will of iron and a mind of death. She is the first Hellsing since Abraham to exhibit such daunting qualities. She carries the mark of a true hunter.

Seras did not like his tone of fascination and desire, as though he wished to meet such a woman in person.

Master, I want to return to England, she decided.

No, he said flatly.

You're not even going to ask why?

The answer in no. England is Hellsing's territory, and I won't have you within a thousand miles of that place.

But England is my home, Seras protested.

No, Alucard said once again.

But what if this woman can help us?

Why would she? She despises monsters.

But she seems to be a logical woman...

Seras! Alucard said, jerking her around and glaring deep into her eyes. I. Said. No.

Then what can I do, Master? She asked desperately. How can I serve you if you insist on treating me like a child?

You are a child! He said icily. Brittle and rash, easily driven into a corner. You do not have the experience for such negotiations.

Master, you have to ask yourself what matters more, Seras murmured. Keeping me safe, or finally being free of a curse that has held you captive for centuries.

That seemed to catch his attention for a moment. He stared down at her, his eyes reflecting the internal conflict in his priorities. Then he said, my answer is still no. Even if I let you go at great risk to yourself, nothing would come of it. You are too young.

"Since when do you have such little faith in me?" she demanded aloud. "Didn't you keep me alive for this purpose only?"

I kept you because I wanted you. Didn't I doubt from the beginning that you would succeed? Didn't I agree to kill you if you ever did?

"Yet you must have had... some hope," Seras whispered. "Because you changed the terms of the deal- that meant you had taken my request to die seriously."

You are twisting things in your head, he decided. I assure you, I never even for an instant placed any amount of hope on you.

You're lying, she taunted. And I'm not going to argue with you about it. Believe what you want and I'll believe what I want.

You're a reckless fool, he said with narrowed eyes.

Seras tilted her head to one side and swept her hair away from her neck. "Were you not here for something?" she asked.

Alucard's eyes flickered only briefly to the offered vein she had exposed for him. Then they were back on hers, smoldering as they often did, turning her knees to jelly. She swallowed.

"You're not hungry anymore, Master?" she asked carefully.

Actually, I'm famished, he said, a predatory grin on his face.

Seras abruptly found herself slammed into the bookshelf, causing folders and novels to shower around them, papers spinning through the air.

Seras stared at him in shock as he forced one of his legs upward between her thighs and pulled her body tight against his.

"M-master!" she protested, grabbing onto his shoulder to keep from falling. "What are you doing?"

Devouring you, he said, dark desire lacing with his words.

"This is unnecessary," Seras muttered as one of his hands slid up her legs.

But you enjoy it, don't you, Police Girl?

"P-police... Vlad!" she realized, squirming relentlessly.

Alucard's body began to laugh. "My you're slow."

"What are you doing?" she demanded. "Put me down."

"You haven't talked to me in a while," he said, leaning forward and resting his head in the crook of her neck. "I wanted to see what stupid scheme you had developed that was getting him so riled up."

"Well, now you've seen," Seras said uncomfortably. "You can let me go now."

"There's something else I've been dying to try," he replied, causing Seras to pale uneasily. His lips brushed against the flesh of her collarbone, lighting her insides on fire.

"Mast- um, Vlad," she stuttered. "D-Do you just want to drink?"

"Call me Master," he said into her ear. "After all, you're mine as well, aren't you?"

"Ah... that might get confusing," she mumbled. "Since you're mostly just rude to me, I don't really think of you as my master..."

"Yet it is me that makes you so powerful," he breathed, running a finger up her spine.

Seras drew in a deep, ragged breath. "Well, Master, I find you very confusing. What is it that you want?"

"Your blood of course," he said almost reverently. He inhaled slowly, taking in her scent and holding it for a long while.

"I won't stop you," Seras assured him. "After all, whoever possesses it, this is my master's body, and it is my duty to nourish it."

"So, you're inviting me? Even knowing what the feeding does to us both?"

"W-what do you mean?"

"We both know the feelings a feeding can stir," he said forebodingly. "Suppose we... got carried away."

"That won't happen," she said confidently. "It never happens with Master Alucard, and it won't happen with you."

"You forget that Alucard and I do not share the same ideals."

"I trust both my masters," Seras said with such finality that it actually seemed to startle Vlad for a brief moment. "Besides," she added, "as you so often remind me, a fledgling like myself is hardly worth the effort."

Vlad stared at her for a long moment. "You're right," he said at last.

"See?" she said weakly. "I listen sometimes."

"I meant you were right that I can't make up my mind about you," Vlad snapped. "Never have I so badly wanted to kill some one in my life."

"It would be your right," she said, stiffening.

"It would," he agreed. "Yet never have I so badly desired someone. Everything about you calls to me, no matter what I may be, body or no."

Seras blinked in surprise.

He hates his love of you more than he hates you, Alucard's words echoed in her head.

"You're not very good at confessions," she said uncomfortably, squirming in his grasp.

"You don't like my attention?" he demanded, rage flickering behind his irises.

"I don't like the feeling that you want to sleep with me, drink me to dust and then carry on as though I'd never walked into your life!"

A rare grin played at the corner of his lips. "You seem to have pinpointed my latest thought sequence," he mused. "Though who's to say I could or would act on any of those potent fantasies? And if I did, could you stop me? Would you stop me?"

Seras averted her eyes from his. "If it is my master's desire, then I will not object. But only if it is what both masters want. How can I betray one to serve another? You may wish only to use me once, but Master Alucard needs me to make him stronger until I can find a way to end this curse."

"So it all comes down to that," Vlad said solemnly. "Hellsing was brilliant when he split our personality, carefully designed to cut off communication between us always. He left for me jealousy, and skepticism, ill will and anger."

"I think you both got the anger thing," Seras muttered.

Vlad grabbed her chin rather painfully and jerked her face upwards to his. "Accepting what I am does not change my wish to remain as I am," Vlad said thoughtfully. "Yet I am thinking things I have not thought in two hundred centuries. I am hungry, very hungry, and I think only you could satiate me, since you are the stem of the hunger in the first place."

"When you say satiate..." Seras wondered uneasily.

"I want all of you," he informed her. "Your blood, your body... and then maybe your corpse."

Seras' gaze darkened. She didn't know exactly what came over her, or exactly how badly she must have wanted to die to do such a thing, but she drew her fist back and then plunged forward into what would end in the worst punishment in her life.

Her closed hand collided with her master's skull and he- not expecting the blow- flew backwards through three rows of book shelves, each with an equally deafening crack.

"You're like a child!" she barked. "Spoiled and selfish! Don't I get a say in my existence? You think I remain here as your play thing? I am your servant, and you will treat me as a servant should be treated- with gratitude and protection!"

"Who are you to lecture me?" he snarled, snapping his head forward and wiping a trickle of blood off his cheek.

"I am the child of the true Dracula!" she said, her eyes burning. "And the way you are now, selfish and narrow-minded, I will quickly surpass you! You have no pride in that you were once the No-Life King! You harbor yourself in walls of corruption and then seek to destroy those who would undo them."

Before she could think, she was running for her life, streaking through wall after wall, her instinct for survival humming.

Seras! Alucard's voice yelled in her ears. Seras, come back!

You can no longer protect me, Master, she said. I'm tired of being threatened and overpowered. I'll figure this out elsewhere!

You have no where to go! he yelled, his voice taught with fury. You will stay where you are!

No, Master!

Seras yelped as something seized her from behind and brought her struggling and kicking to the ground.

"No!" she screamed, lashing out with fangs and claws elongated. She felt cornered, and afraid for her life.

"Hold still!" Vlad growled.

Seras, stop struggling! Alucard insisted.

"Get away from me!" she belowed. Two hands enclosed on her wrists and slammed them into the floor, a heavy weight settling across her legs to prevent their kicking.

Her wild eyes settled on his, and fear as she had never known settled into every fiber of her soul.