Word of the day is Disclaimer. Repeat after us Dis-claim-er. This little word prevents Square-Enix sending snipers after us and LadyG marrying Sephiroth, CGI character or not. Which, as you no doubt agree, is better for the world in general.
Sephiroth: And thank heavens for that. (resumes standing around looking good.)
LadyG: Oh Sephy! (faints)
RealtF: Whatever's wrong with you is no little thing.
Cid: Damn fangirls. Set humankind back a few million &!":(? years.
Apologies for the wait. We started back at college, have jobs, volunteered for a film festival, caught the flu and oh yeah, saw Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children, the 'liberated' version so to speak. Other than that we're just so damn lazy. We're like sloths on Valium. But thank you all for your patience and here's another chapter! (lightning flashes, thunder rolls, the earth quakes and a choir of angels sing 'It has cometh'.)
Chapter 10: Freak Out. Le Freak. C'est Chic.
"Get away from me you wrinkly menace! I'm warning you!" Yazoo had taken out his guns and was aiming them in the vicinity of Odin's groin. It was the next day and the pupils were in the breakfast hall preparing for their first class and comparing which shoddy SAEGFs they had got.
The summon waved a dismissive hand jingling the array of gold bracelets and fake Rolex's around his wrist. "Put it away boy. We're all friends here. For does not the bible say: make love not war?"
"If it's the bible according to Linda Lovelace," Sephiroth snorted.
Kadaj furrowed his brow, "Wasn't she the one in Sesame Street?"
"I certainly hope not but would explain why Elmo was always so happy….Yazoo stop!" Loz grabbed his brother's hand to prevent him from shooting Odin. However Yazoo managed to get a shot off which traveled across the room entered one of Cloud's ears and reemerged the other side. Cloud looked up from eating his Kupo Nuts™ and wondered where the breeze was coming from.
The pupils widened their eyes at such blatant disregard for physics as Cloud continued eating, oblivious to pretty much everything.
The silver haired trio had meanwhile wrestled a thrashing Yazoo to the ground. Yazoo was still upset over his brothers allowing the 3000-year-old pimp to perform CPR on him and had spent the rest of yesterday either scrubbing his mouth or curled in a ball rocking back and forth.
"Nobody loses it completely quite like Yazoo." Loz eyed the hole in the carpet his brother had made from the constant rocking and wondered how much would it take to repair.
"Well that's another video for the collection," Sephiroth sighed, "won't Mother and Hojo be happy when they find out that most of our time at school was spent going bananas….quick zoom in on those tears!"
"Will do," Kadaj replied and moved in for the close up.
Eventually a long heartfelt conversation with Jenova helped calm Yazoo down. Loz, Kadaj and Sephiroth weren't privy to it but knowing their mother's communicational skills the gist of the conversation was probably "Pick yourself up off the floor you sniveling wimp, wipe your face I didn't bring you up to be a bum and don't forget my booze."
Now Jenova's words of wisdom were forgotten as they struggled to pacify a furious Yazoo who was intent on giving Odin a DIY castration.
After a few minutes of scuffling Mario and Fabio, hyperventilating at the thought of their muse's hair getting knotty had pulled out their curling irons, struck a pose and joined the fray.
"Back, back you badly tailored demon!" Fabio warned the approaching summon while wielding his curlers like a sword. "I know the ancient art of Hair Fu!"
"Hmm," Mario said appreciatively while looking at Odin from his platforms to his Elvis hairdo, which Odin surprisingly managed to pull off despite having less than few dozen hairs left. "You may be badly tailored but I love the way you mix fabrics in your outfit. Chintz plus velvet equals stunning!"
The pimp cackled and straightened his vulgar medallion. "Why that's mighty kind of you to say so. Actually I've been meaning to pay you a visit. My chest wig needs a re-style. I've had the same style for the past 1000 years."
Mario clapped his hands, "Ohhh but of course! I've being dying to try out my new styling wax, specifically designed for chest hair. According to Elle Sean Connery never leaves home without it." He flicked open his organizer, "Call up at three today. Now if you excuse me I have hair to save."
Aeris prodded Cid, "Maybe you should go in there and calm things down before Mario intervenes and you have a real blood bath on your hands."
"And ruin the show?" Cid was secretly hoping that the brothers would give Mario and Fabio a makeover of their own. But when a plate of waffles went flying past his ear he decided enough was enough. "Hmm time to stamp my authority on the situation." His pellet gun suddenly materialized in his hand.
"Break it up," Cid roared and shot Yazoo squarely in the tush.
"You frikkin' idiot!" Yazoo howled and threw his brothers off. "And you, stay the hell away from me!" he pointed a finger at Odin who was calmly flicking through a copy of Pimp My Pimp.
"Playing hard to get eh? Well I'm not going to give up that easily Mr. Thong," he flashed a mouth full of cheap gold teeth.
Yazoo wrinkled his nose, "Mr. Thong? Wait a sec how did you know that I wear a mmppff."
Loz slapped a hand over his brother's mouth. "Hehehe funny story that…"
Mercifully the sound for class went saving Loz a good deal of explaining.
"That still sounds suspiciously like a cow in labour," Auron said.
Cid pushed them towards the door, "Ye should have heard the first bell we had. Reno and Rude recorded it. Hoo boy. We sure had a lot of trouble with the school board over that one. Not to mention the defamation and invasion of privacy lawsuits. I'll leave it to ye're imaginations lame though they might be."
"What's our next class?" Sephiroth asked Loz who was still gagging Yazoo.
"Uh Weapons class I think. Why do you guys expect me to remember everything?"
"Well you do seem to be the most normal and reliable out of all of us."
Loz gave him a quizzical look, "I'm flattered, though I don't think we'd know normal if it reached up and bit us on the ass. Ain't that right Yazoo? Ow stop biting." He shifted his grip, "Anyway you should definitely have a chance to test out Masamune in the next class."
"He's got that look again," Kadaj said referring to Sephiroth who had drifted into a happy daze, temporarily deranged by transports of wanton destruction, as soon as Loz had mentioned Masamune.
Cloud, in passing hit Sephiroth in the shoulder. "You better not cut up my Mr. Bunny, like you did the TWATS plushies. Can't get to sleep otherwise…" he trailed off when he realized the entire student body was staring at him, "I mean… yeah I'm still badass."
Aeris rolled her eyes, "You're about as badass as a cold sore."
Tifa nodded, "The way Cloud's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing."
But when they reached the class, to Sephiroth's immense annoyance Lesley was only focusing on those characters with guns.
"Cheer up bro', you'll get your chance to destroy and disembowel people," Loz consoled his dejected older brother.
Sephiroth sulked in the corner, "And I was so looking forward to causing havoc. Oh well." He made a mental note to cut up Mr. Bunny later on.
Lesley meanwhile was handing out those infernal safety sheets. "Okay this class deals exclusively with your weapons and handling of them. The 'Battle 101' lecture teaches weapon skills in conjunction with magic and summoning. Just in case anybody was wondering what the difference was. Now for today we have a guest teacher to lecture those sharpshooters in the fine art of blowing peoples brains out. Everybody give a big frown for Vincent." Lesley then popped open a bottle of Prozac and emptied the contents into his mouth.
Vincent, looking like an extra from the Matrix walked into the room and immediately the lights blew out.
"Damn Vincent, this always happens," Lesley swore as he fiddled with the trip switch and turned the lights back on.
The pupils blinked as the room lit up. "Okay guys I'm leaving before my…medication kicks in so be good for Mr. Sunshine. And no jokes, laughing or warm fuzzy thoughts. Happiness to Vincent is like Kryptonite to Superman."
Vincent gave Lesley a death glare from behind his sunglasses, "Buzz off Les, don't you have a date with your rehab counselor?"
Lesley retaliated by smiling widely before disappearing out the door. "Bastard," Vincent muttered, "let's get this over with. If you've any questions before we start I'll try to give vague, cryptic, doom laden answers to them."
"Your buttons are so shiny!" Yuffie gasped in awe.
"Why are you wearing armor-plated clown shoes?" Zell asked.
"Your shoes are so shiny!" an in awe Yuffie gasped. Vincent was getting shinier by the second, her perfect man.
"Who's minding the Crypt?" Lulu queried, "and what if Reno and Rude need a drink?"
Vincent shot Zell and Yuffie a look of utter contempt before answering Lulu, "That's easy, Mouldy. He's a very effective guard and I do lock the door. And for your second question it's Reno and Rude's sleeping…uh working time. Enough questions, any characters that use guns step forward."
Yazoo and Irvine stepped out of the group. Vincent's jaw dropped. "Two? Mr. Thong and a cowboy? That's all? What are the rest of you using for weapons? Frying pans? Hard covered editions of Mrs. Beeton's Cookbook? A gun is a man's weapons. My motto is those who live by the sword die by those who don't." He stopped and took a breath. "I guess Sephiroth and his disturbingly long sword have a certain credibility."
"Are you done?" Yazoo grumbled. "I've got a bullet with a certain summon's name on it."
"Fine." Vincent took out a remote, pushed a button and a number of human shaped target boards descended from the ceiling. He then took out Death Penalty and fired off a few rounds hitting the targets squarely in the head. "See it's easy. Now you try."
Irvine raised an eyebrow, "That's it? No words of wisdom or advice?"
"What else do you need to know? Point, shoot and reload. And those little silver things are called bullets. However we'll be using rubber bullets today."
"Enough babbling." Yazoo stood on the mark, aimed and fired, missing the target by a good few metres.
Next Irvine tried. "Where'd the bullet go?" he asked after inspecting all the targets and failing to find a hole.
"Over here dumbass," Lulu called and reaching into her cleavage fished out the bullet. "How did you manage it? I was behind you."
Irvine grinned, "Maybe it's a sign. That bullet has all the fun."
"Vincent dearie do you have a machine gun?" a furious Lulu hissed, her chest heaving in anger.
Vincent was looking at Lulu but didn't hear her. His attention was elsewhere, as evident by his eyes, which were currently going up and down like escalators. "I've a fine pair of big guns if you would like to…"
"Save it for later," an exasperated Yazoo said and fired off a few rounds all of which missed. "Arrrggghhh!"
His brothers were almost feeling sorry for him at this stage except for Sephiroth who was still sulking and whispering "Soon, soon," to Masamune. "Maybe if you could imagine Odin as the target," Kadaj ventured.
Yazoo's eyes lit up and after a quick reloading brought out both Velvet Nightmares and went trigger-happy. He still missed but a few bullets found the targets in the head and groin area, which was presumably where he was aiming for all along.
After his bullets ran out an increasingly frustrated Yazoo ran up to the target and shrieking tore it off and started punching and scratching it.
Loz widened his eyes, "Yaz seems to lose it with astonishing regularity these days."
Kadaj gave the sigh of a long-suffering brother, pulled out a lawnmower magazine and started fawning over the Flymos.
Yazoo was still beating up the target and shouting 'I was always the middle child! Nobody ever loved me! I had to be the quiet enigmatic one but all I ever wanted was a pony! Was that too much to ask?"
Vincent though enjoying the spectacle walked over to the gunman and handed him a coupon, "It's a free drink voucher. Don't say I never did a good deed."
Yazoo sniffed and took it.
"Can we have one Vin?" the rest of the students asked.
"Why would I give you gunless wimps free drinks?" He nearly laughed at the absurdity. "Now if you excuse me I have to retire to my coffin and ponder why life is more tortuous than death. Gwahahahaha!" Without warning he threw a smoke bomb and vanished into the smog.
When the smoke cleared the students gasped in amazement, Vincent was no longer there. He was actually over by the door, foot against the jamb trying to open it. "Stupid &?"!) door. Class dismissed." He yanked it open and ran up the corridor.
The students watched after him open mouthed wondering if his bandana was on to tight or if he was suffering the effects of hanging around with Reno and Rude. But the pupils soon realized anything Vincent did was forgivable. After all he provided the most valuable service of all. He got them drunk.
Wednesday in Final Fantasy Finishing School was a bit different to other days. For one the characters finished up early allowing them to work at their respective jobs. Secondly instead of classes, after weapons training they had a surprise guest speaker and counseling.
"Anything with the word 'surprise' in it is never a good thing with this place," Seifer said when they were seated in the auditorium.
"Whatever," Guess Who said.
"But our speaker might be a manager from a glitter factory!" Rinoa squealed while trying to extract her hand from Angelo's foaming mouth.
"Woohoo Manager!"
"Woohoo morons," Tifa said while playing with Aeris' hair and trying to avoid the ribbon from impaling her.
Aeris called Yuna over and as soon as she was seated rested her head in her lap. "Is…this…necessary…?" Yuna asked.
"Course," Aeris said, "Remember it's part of WAMRL's rules. You don't want to end up with Tidus."
Yuna shuddered. "Point…taken," she conceded and started playing with Tifa's hair.
But yet again the intended targets failed to notice as both Cloud and Tidus were arranging funeral arrangements for Mr. Bunny who Sephiroth had brutally slaughtered.
The evil one himself was at the back with Kadaj, Loz and a pacified Yazoo as far away from the stage as possible. "Maybe they might actually surprise us and get a speaker who's playing with the full deck."
"Let's not jump to conclusions guys," Kadaj said, "so far they've dealt us a pack of Jokers." He started laughing hysterically at his own joke.
Loz rolled his eyes. "Sad fact is that that was probably the cleverest thing you ever said and it was still bad." He turned to Sephiroth. "Cheer up bro' you can always stab the speaker with Masamune. You'd probably reach from the back row." Sephiroth laughed and was about to reply when a woman walked from the wings and stood in the middle of the stage.
One imperious look was enough to silence the students. Tossing her brown hair off her shoulders she spoke, "My name is General Beatrix, I'm today's guest lecturer and I'll be teaching you sex education…" She continued speaking over the girlish giggles and cries of "Finally after nine chapters of crap something worth learning!"
"I know that this has little or nothing to do with Final Fantasy but we are a school so it's compulsory. And the fact that the school's teaching it says a lot about the writer's state of mind." Beatrix took a breath and flicked open her brief case. "Now where's that tape? Ahh here it is."
"Why do we have to do this?" Paine asked, "It's not as if we're totally clueless. Well most of us."
"Shh Kimahri like this class." He had taken out a pen and paper ready to take some serious notes. "Kimahri definitely going to pass this class."
Beatrix finally got everything set up, turned off the lights and went to the back of the classroom to sit down. "No need to take notes, it's all pretty self-explanatory. Just watch." She turned on the projector and the screen lit up, the title Once upon a Mattress crawling across the screen.
After 45 minutes of cheesy music, a ludicrous array of moustaches and improbable sound effects the credits rolled and the pupils retrieved their jaws from the floor. "Wardrobe department?" Steiner guffawed incredulously, "that's one thing they didn't need."
"I didn't like the main characters moustache," Kuja commented after a while.
Beatrix laughed and strode to the top of the room. "Hope you enjoyed that. Any questions?"
Zidane raised a hand, "Where was that shot? I think I recognise the room."
The general shrugged, "Ohh I don't know."
"The main girl looked a bit like you except with a blond wig and vampire fangs."
"I know and didn't one of her eyes look suspiciously like it was painted on, like over an eye patch. It never blinked and was pretty much rubbed off by the end."
Beatrix stamped her foot, "No it wasn't. Okay enough accusations. Another girl will be here next week to teach something slightly different. Don't forget to collect your information bags as you leave." She turned and started arranging her papers as the group filed out slowly still unsure what they actually saw.
"That film was more confusing than informative. Least Odin wasn't in it. What's wrong Kadaj?" His younger brother had tears in his eyes and was biting his lower lip. "You guys lied to me! You said a stork named Gus dropped me in the trashcan and you found me. And I believed you!"
Loz put an arm around his shoulders, "And what we saw today wasn't even the half of it. What were we supposed to say? 'Hey Kadaj you're the offspring of an alien, a human guinea pig and a mad scientist.' Not exactly something every child wants to hear."
Kadaj nodded and wiped his eyes. Sephiroth suddenly dragged them roughly to their feet and made for the door. "Quick it's that women again. Move!" They were too late however as Beatrix had sprinted the last few feet. "Hey what's the rush? I'm not that frightening," she laughed fixing Sephiroth with her eye.
Sephiroth bit his tongue to prevent himself from saying anything incriminating. Beatrix had sat beside him during the film and had spent most of it staring at his profile and rearranging her clothes, presumably for his benefit. By the end of the film her skirt was a good five inches shorter and a few of her blouse buttons had disappeared. Even worse for the last five minutes of movie he had distinctly felt a hand groping his thigh. For once Sephiroth had dearly wished it was one of his brothers.
But now as Beatrix was smiling before him he tried not to blush under her roving gaze and wondered if Hojo had injected something extra into him just to make his life as fraught as possible. He also cursed the writers for being such fangirls.
"Aren't we a deep thinker," Beatrix cooed while laying a hand on his chest.
Sephiroth backed away from the unwanted attention, nearly tripping over Masamune. He looked around to find his brothers had legged it. Beatrix had grabbed his arm to steady him and stood on tiptoe to brush wisps of hair from his face. Sephiroth, not used to dealing with forward females found himself tongue-tied. A knife in the gut usually worked better than words in his mind. Despite his obvious discomfort the woman was not dissuaded.
"That's a really big sword you have," she said coyly, "can I hold it?"
Beatrix loaded the word 'sword' with enough innuendo that Sephiroth didn't have a hard time figuring out what she really meant. Before she could say anything more suggestive Sephiroth threw her off and sprinted like a bullet out the door her laughter following him. He collided with Kadaj and the camcorder in the process.
"Watch it. You'll break the lens," Kadaj moaned. Sephiroth disentangled himself and wildly grabbed Yazoo by the collar. "You've been freaking out all day, now it's my turn." He ran into their dorm room like a silver blur and by the time they had entered Sephiroth had made a hole in the carpet from his constant rocking.
"Camera still working Kadaj?" Yazoo asked with a smirk. Kadaj nodded. Loz threw his hands up in resignation. "He's going to be a while, might as well look at carpet samples while we're waiting."
Thirty carpet samples later Sephiroth had recovered. "What were you so upset about?" Kadaj queried, "You'd swear you had never talked to a woman before in your life."
"Actually she did most of the talking, among other things." Sephiroth's ears burned thinking of his encounter with Beatrix.
"Well get used to it," Yazoo said shortly. "I don't mind women. It's the one eyed chest wigged sort I have a problem with."
"Understatement of the year Yaz," Loz said. "Besides how do you expect Seph to deal with girls if the biggest female influence in our lives is an alien bent on world destruction?"
"You always were a flatterer Loz." Jenova's voice drawled in their heads. "I'm preparing a plan for world domination right now." She took a drag of her cigarette. "Now where's my chainsaw?"
"I'm sure you'll have them kneeling before your carpet slippers," Sephiroth said sourly.
Jenova gave a short laugh, "Glad to see you're back to your usual miserable self. I've some news for you. You'll never guess."
"I don't want to guess."
"Tut tut. Your dear mother put an ad in the local lonely hearts column," she cackled gleefully.
"What!" Loz, Sephiroth, Kadaj and Yazoo said together.
"What did you say?" Yazoo stuttered, "Single blue female alien looking for host? Must be willing to travel?"
"No," Jenova said and gave Yazoo a mental slap across the head, "I'm not telling you now. You've hurt my feelings. I didn't raise you to be disrespectful of your mother."
Loz shook his head. "Technically you didn't raise us at all. Why don't you destroy some of Lucrecia's life long research? That'll cheer you up Ma."
"Maybe," Jenova sniffed but the brothers knew she already had the chainsaw started up. With a stern warning to cause as much havoc as possible and change their underwear everyday she disappeared from their minds.
"She gone?" Kadaj asked.
"Yes. You're back to your usual complement of voices in your head." Sephiroth looked at the clock. "It's time for counseling," Loz said anticipating the question. Sephiroth shuddered and wished he was somewhere else. Hanging off a cliff by his fingernails perhaps?
The ever responsible Loz pushed them towards the door before they could think of absconding. Counselling however was surprisingly short and painless. All of Rude's and Reno's books and papers had disappeared.
"Ehm… Today you will be endowed with good fortune but be prudent when it comes to financial matters. Being frugal will save you more than a pretty penny. Wear red for luck. For more information phone… hehe."
Kuja glared at Reno, "That was the horoscopes in today's paper. I read them this morning at breakfast."
"Yeah… well… since we can't diagnose ye correctly without our books and stuff we're just gonna have a free class," Reno explained while hopping on the Dance Off Arcade game to try to beat Rude's dance off record. "Take a fortune cookie on the way out. That's a sort of counseling. Damn, missed my step."
Rude handed out the cookies at the door. "Do your books going missing have anything to do with the fire you made at the end of the garden?" Freya asked suspiciously, remembering glancing out the window to see the pair surreptitiously dumping boxes marked 'Counseling books' into the flames.
"Eh no," Rude answered impassively, "You're delusional. We'll deal with that next week. For now just stay away from the light and eat enough roughage." He shoved them out and slammed the door.
After the fiascos that were meant to be the students' counseling sessions and a hearty lunch the students went to their jobs. Seeing as they had to 'bond', or at least not murder, in Yazoo's case, their SAEGFs the students were obliged (cough-forced-cough) to bring them along. There was one group of people particularly happy with this arrangement.
"So what exactly are we meant to do again?"
Denny smiled at Tidus, "That's the beauty of it my friend nothing, nada, zip, zilch…"
"I think they get the point Denny." Garnet glanced up from the magazine she, Freya and Shiva were flicking through.
Zell screwed up his face in concentration, "If there are no SAEGFs for us to mind then… then…"
"C'mon Zell nearly there."
"Quiet Freya or he'll lose the thought all together." Following Red's command they all fell silent waiting to see if Zell could actually finish the thought process. Even the SAEGFs looked on interestedly.
"… then… then… we have… nothing to do."
The group let out their breath not realizing they had held it in the first place.
"They've made so much progress. It's like watching Denny learn how to speak all over again."
"That shouldn't be hard to remember Lyonal. It was only a year ago."
"Hey!" Denny looked at Lyonal and Spiller indignantly. "It's not my fault. You two were just so stupid it took me that long to figure out how to speak stupidese."
Sephiroth chuckled. "It's a day of firsts. Zell finally managed to think and Denny almost made a snappy retort except for the lame ending."
"Wow, someone's in a good mood. You seem to have recovered nicely from your encounter of the Beatrix kind." At Sephiroth's questioning glare Spiller continued. "Kadaj showed us the tape. You made a nice hole in the carpet too. Seeing as there's not much for you lot to do, just go around to the others and make sure they haven't mangled the SAEGFs yet."
Shiva looked up quickly and the air grew chilly. "No one would dare hurt my Iffy. I'd bury them if they did."
"Nah If's great. Everyone likes him. Shiva thaw out already." Spiller shuddered from the glare she shot him. "Anyway I believe some of ye are sharing SAEGFs so ye can fob them off onto the other person. Well what are you all standing around here for? Scat."
Red called to them before they all disappeared. "Don't forget Ifrit has a soccer match organized in about two hours for anyone who's interested."
The students and SAEGFs all nodded and made their way towards the school to total up the body count. If Yazoo had his way it would already be at one.
Garnet and Freya made their way towards the gym with Madeen and Fenrir following them. Freya was bringing Madeen to Paine who she had joint custody with. So far both girls had no complaints. Madeen was cute and cuddly like a kitten with them but got really vicious around anything that it found threatening or annoying. Kimahri had been on the receiving ends of a few scratches and bits after he tried to steal some of Paine's breakfast.
Valefor watched them enter before swooping down and landing on Kimahri, which flattened him on the ground.
"Kimahri beginning to think all SAEGFs like to hurt Kimahri." Kimahri wiggled out from beneath Valefor before glancing at the girls hopefully. "Kiss Kimahri better?"
Garnet snorted, "Dream on furball."
"Hey Paine I'm here to hand over Madeen and make sure Kimahri hasn't killed Valefor. Or maybe that should be the other way around." Freya said laughing at the ronso who was currently brushing bird seed out of his fur.
Paine smirked, "Personally I think big bird is gonna win this battle. Madeen look what I have."
Madeen's stomach growled appreciatively at the steak that Paine had. Seeing that everything was fine here Freya and Garnet left to go to the kitchens, before they left the last thing they heard was Madeen growling and Kimahri complaining.
"Hey that is Kimahri's dinner. Kimahri not gonna let you eat it. You bite, Kimahri bite back…"
Garnet and Freya continued their journey to the kitchens to hand Fenrir over to Steiner. When they arrived in the Kitchen they found the place in uproar, the cooking schedule was an hour behind due to Ark trying to follow Amarant into the Cafeteria. He had managed to damage the gas and electricity supply in the Kitchen and had sent Dorothy off on a rant of epic proportions. She had berated the SAEGF severely and it was now behaving after she starting waving her rolling pin around menacingly. Wakka however was having a fantastic time as it was Ixion who was saving mealtimes at the school.
Garnet popped her head around the door to try to find Steiner in all the madness. "Steiner are you in here. What on earth happened?"
She heard him coming out of the darkness the familiar clank letting everyone know where he was. "Hallo Garnet, Freya. Ahh Fenrir we could use your help. We can't seem to find some of the food because when Ark tried to come in he managed to damage the electricity and gas lines as well as bump into the fridges and cupboards, and well, the food was all moved but Fenrir should be able to sniff it out."
Fenrir cast a pleading look in Garnet's direction. "It's ok Fenrir, I promise I'll grab you and make a break for it if there's any sign of Dorothy attacking you."
They all glanced in Dorothy's direction and noticed that she had calmed down and was fawning all over Ark again. At this time Amarant had joined them and seeing their quizzical looks decided to enlighten them to Dorothy's change of heart.
"He took me, Squall, Reno and Rude out fishing and we managed to catch some really nice mackerel so Dorothy now has a main course she can find for dinner."
Dorothy noticed that Fenrir was standing at the door of the kitchen. "Fenrir, Fenrir. Come over here I need the use of your nose. We need to find certain ingredients before we can have Ixion charge up the cookers to make stir fried vegetables and some rice. Then we need you to find the picnic baskets we made for the soccer match tonight. Ifrit stopped by this morning to check that we had them. Right well try that fridge first and the try that cupboard. Oh this clean up will take all night. Now come along that's a good boy, we should be able to find a treat or two for your hard work."
Fenrir trotted along happily after Dorothy once he realized that she wasn't about to batter him with her rolling pin. Freya and Garnet decided to go help set up for the match tonight and left Steiner and Amarant to join Ixion and Wakka who was talking with Squall, Reno and Rude over by the cookers. The two girls left the kitchen and headed back to the pitch.
Freya and Garnet weren't the only ones who left the kitchen before Ixion started the cookers by striking them with lightning. Reno, Rude and Squall had decided a drink was in order after their hard hour's fishing. Actually it was Reno and Rude who decided it was time for a drink, Squall just had no complaints about the idea. They plonked themselves at the bar and began to admire the scenery, the scenery referring to the barmaids who were currently drying glasses and putting them back on the shelves of course it was no coincidence that all the bottom shelves were full and Lulu and Tifa had to stretch to reach the shelves overhead. The sight had even roused Auron's attention from his slumped position at the door. Vincent was suspiciously checking to see that his hidden cameras were filming the girls directly. Mouldy was looking sternly at all the guys in the bar, while Anima was making a mental note of all who were staring at Lulu. Cerberus had taken to growling at anyone who even tried to look at Tifa.
"Hey what are we all staring at?" Ifrit called out as he immerged from the bathrooms.
Tifa and Lulu stopped mid stretch and realizing what they must look like immediately stopped cleaning the glasses and started hurling them at all the males in the vicinity except for Mouldy, Cerberus and Ifrit, who wouldn't stare on account of being so nice, that and Shiva would kill him.
Upon seeing that he was close to being dismembered by the guys Ifrit decided to make a hasty retreat. "Em, I have to go and spend some time with Aeris now I'll see you later Auron." Noticing that the guys were still giving him dirty looks, he turned on his puppy dog eyes and set his bottom lip to quiver. "You all will be coming to see me play in tonight's match won't ye? And Vincent you will still bring along the drinks, I set it at night especially for you and Dorothy is after making picnic baskets. Please." The sight of a Fire Summon blackmailing a room of guys made Tifa answer for everyone. "Of course they will, won't ye!"
Seeing the murderous glances that the girls were shooting them the guys quickly agreed plus they liked Ifrit enough to forgive him for interrupting the show. Once everyone agreed Ifrit bounded out the door towards the garden. Siren had taken to ignoring Squall as he had not in all the time that she was with him ogled her that she knew of anyway. Neither had Reno nor Rude. Squall realized what was wrong with Siren and began to surreptitiously glance at her out of the corner of his eye, before transforming it to an all out stare. It wasn't too hard for him Siren was actually very pretty, and she had the power to silence people he knew of one peppy, clinging female he wanted silenced for a while. Seeing her ego was once again being assuaged Siren began to bat her eyelashes playfully at Squall and posing artfully around the bar.
Vincent had taken out the cameras remote so they would follow her movements around the bar but her flirting and posing was having no effect on Reno and Rude, they had turned their full attention to their drinks. Siren conferred with Anima, whom the pair hadn't even realized was there, due to being in Cerberus' shadow. The three-headed dog was currently chewing on a giant slipper, that no one knew how it got there. With a plan to follow out Siren cast silence over Reno and Rude and sat extremely close to Squall. So close that she was almost on his lap.
Reno and Rude had finished their drinks and deciding on their second, when they tried to order they found that they couldn't speak. The pair were frantic, Tifa and Lulu were studiously avoiding them by pretending that they couldn't even see them. Vincent and Auron were trying not to laugh as the pairs' faces collapsed and Reno began to sob. While this was happening Anima had Mouldy turn off the lights, she then positioned herself right in front of Reno and Rude. When the lights flicked back on all Reno and Rude could see was Anima glaring at them, they opened their mouths to scream and get help but no sound came out, they then ran madly around the bar. Unfortunately for the pair Cerberus thought that they were playing a game and had decided to try to squash them with his front paws or snap at them with his three sets of razor sharp teeth. In the end the pair ran into a wall and passed out.
Zell carefully lead the Brothers around the gnomes leading to the Crypt the sight that greeted him was a rather unusual one. Reno and Rude were passed out on the floor with Cerberus prodding them with a giant paw, seeing no response the dog seemed to pout and sat down and started chewing on a giant slipper. Tifa and Lulu had two cameras in their hands and were taking photos of the counselors. Anima was eating a bag of crisps looking very happy. Siren was whispering something in Squall's ear that made him blush and Vincent and Auron were laughing and getting a drink. Zell realized that the SAEGFs seemed fine so he lead the Brothers back out towards the training hall, the TWATS were holding a rehearsal for tonight's cheerleading at the soccer match.
When he eventually found the training field the TWATS were bickering over one of their cheers and had roped in Kadaj and Seifer in to try and sort it out.
"I should like totally be on top; I mean I'm the youngest, smallest and cutest."
"Eiko, you are not the cutest, I mean we are all cute especially in these costumes they are so glittery."
"Woohoo. Glittery, shiny and stretchy."
"They are really comfortable too. Oh my gawd, we have to set up the lights so that we catch the shine as best as possible."
"I know we should put my ickle baby Angelo on top that way people can see how sweet and adorable he is. Look at him he's so cute in his bow tie and tuxedo jacket and shirt. Who's a good boy? Now now Angelo be good no more growling say Rruuff."
Once the rest of the TWATS joined in teaching Angelo how to bark Kadaj and Seifer thought it was a good a time as any to leave. Choco/Mog wanted to go to the Chocobo enclosure and see how the Chocobos were. That and Baralai, Nooj, Gippal, Seifer and Kadaj had organized an illegal underground Chocobo racing gambling ring and were meeting up with Cid to organize racing nights. Choco/Mog was acting as the Chocobo representative.
"Hey Kadaj, where are the TWATS' SAEGFs?"
"Over there Zell, Choco/Mog and I are off."
"Yeah good luck they aren't exactly thrilled over having to watch them at cheerleading practice either. It got kind of ugly at one stage. Doomtrain tried to run over Selphie, she thought that as her SAEGF he needed to be glitterfied. Idiot." Seifer left with a wave. Carbuncle paused to squeak a greeting to the Brothers before following and taking the cheese that Seifer handed him.
Zell went over to where Kadaj had pointed to find the SAEGFs in a circle with very serious expressions on their faces.
"I really don't like Rinoa she's so happy, I'm hoping Angelo bites her hard enough to make her cry."
Leviathan turned to Diablo, "I like Rikku she thinks I'm pretty, and she doesn't make me swim. Knights any threes?"
"Go fish. Yuffie's really nice to us, especially because our armor is shiny. Phoenix any queens?"
Phoenix set one of the Knight's helmet plumes on fire.
"Hey! You know the rules if you don't have it say go fish. You flame us once more we'll tell Eiko that you do want that make over and we'll help her do it."
Doomtrain sounded its whistle in amusement. Zell saw no visible signs of damage to the SAEGFs and left to give his report to the three janitors.
On the way to the beauty teams rooms Shiva was filling Sephiroth in on how she wanted Mario to fix her hair for tonight. "… it's a really important night for him so I'm going to look my best and I think that style will go with the new faux fur coat he bought me."
Sephiroth absently nodded his agreement, he found that he really didn't mind hanging around with Shiva, especially seeing as he only had to spend half the day with her. As they were approaching Mario's Salon, Sephiroth began to tiptoe in the hopes of avoiding Mario. Unluckily for him the hairdresser seemed to have an uncanny ability to sense him as Mario's head straightened and he began to look around trying to spot him. Shiva noticed him cringe and winked at him before marching straight through the salon doors.
"Shiva Darling, mwah mwah. I just knew I could sense something beautiful coming."
"Oh you, you know I'm taken but flattery will get you everywhere. Now I need to do something fabulous with my hair tonight and you are just the man to do it. Ultimecia I love that colour on you, it works so well with the tones of your hair…"
While Shiva kept Mario distracted Sephiroth ran into Miss Alex's studio to tell Zidane where Shiva was and to hopefully thank Irvine for killing Yojimbo. In the Studio he found Kuja trying on shoes with Edie and Rinni. He grabbed Zidane as he rushed past to hand Edie some strappy stiletto sandals.
"Shiva's over with Mario in the Salon. She wants to know if Miss Alex got those Ugg boots for her because if they aren't there she has to rethink her outfit."
"Yeah they're out back I'll go fetch them. Let me guess you're here to find out if Yojimbo's dead or not? Try over there." Zidane said then handed the sandals to Edie before rushing off to find Shiva's Ugg boots.
Sephiroth opened the chest to find Yojimbo tied up and gagged with various multicoloured scarves. Irvine spotted him and came over. "Believe me I wanted to, I really wanted to but Miss Alex beat me to it."
Miss Alex's voice boomed from behind the pair. "What oh that fool? That idiot tried to desecrate my catwalk, I had to teach him a lesson nobody and I mean nobody tries to ruin the vibes of my place with that trash he called an act."
"I just wished you'd hurt him more is all." Sephiroth sighed.
"What! And ruin a perfectly good manicure on him, uh uh sweetie. These nails are too beau-ti-ful to mess up on that thing."
Sephiroth left once he realized that no more harm was coming to Yojimbo and went to check in Loz, Yazoo, Vivi and Quistis in the library. Plus he was wondering if Yazoo had finally managed to pop Odin one or not. He certainly brought enough bullets to make Odin into a cheese grater.
"So if you want I can come over later and show you." Odin waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Quistis sighed and turned her head towards the back of the library. "YAZOO. COME AND GET THIS LEACHEROUS, NOT TO MENTION DILLUSIONAL SAEGF AWAY FROM ME!"
"Hehe so you want him to join us? My, you are feisty. I like that."
"Listen up old man you are not now, nor ever were 'Da Man' and trust me there's no way I'm spending anymore time than is necessary around you so go annoy Yazoo before I have Quezacotl shove a lightning bolt where the sun don't shine." Quistis growled and went off to continue trying to fix the library up. Odin was about to follow but stopped when Quezacotl started chittering and he was getting electric shocks from the glare the bird was shooting him. Odin shrugged at how well the other summon was getting on with his partner. Seeing that Yazoo was reluctantly making his way from the back of the library, he straightened his clothes, ran a hand through his hair and popped a mint into his mouth.
Just as Odin was about to make a suggestive and unwelcome comment, Yazoo cut across him. "Don't. Just don't. I will shoot you."
"Is that all the thanks I get for saving your life, although I have to admit I enjoyed every minute of it."
Yazoo pulled out his gun and was about to shoot when Sephiroth called him. "Put it away Yazoo you'll only hurt yourself."
"Hurt myself. I've it aimed at him."
"True but you've left the safety on. It'll backfire rather nastily into you."
"Stupid safety."
Sephiroth glanced around. "So where's Loz and Vivi. They're sharing Ramuh right?"
"They're trying to find whatever books we have on mechanics. Vivi is Loz's assistant and Ramuh was a mechanic in his spare time a few years ago." Quistis answered as Yazoo was preoccupied with seeing how fast he could remove the safety, aim and shoot. Odin was polishing one of his medallions.
Odin felt that the time had come to pinch Quistis' ass while she was distracted, just as he was about to, a bolt of lightning struck him and frizzed his hair into a massive afro, which had shocks running through it every so often. Loz, Vivi and Ramuh arrived in time to see the static of Odin's new giant afro attract everything not tied down. The old summon beat a hasty retreat as he was pummeled by flying objects determined to stick to him, Quezacotl landed next to Quistis and screeched at Odin's retreating back. Quistis stroked the bird's feathers softly.
"Well I can see you two are getting along fine." Sephiroth looked at Quistis and Quezacotl.
Yazoo was currently turning cartwheels about the group and loudly announcing that Quezacotl was now his hero.
"My, My. What an interesting group we have here. Hello all, hey gorgeous." Beatrix sidled up to Sephiroth and ran her eye appreciately over him.
Sephiroth cringed and took a step away from Beatrix. She followed, in the end he stood next to Quistis and threw his arm about her shoulders. Yazoo seeing this threw his arm over Quistis' shoulder too as Beatrix turned her attention on him, it tightened when she gave him a once over.
"Well, look at that, not one but two aren't you the lucky girl."
Quistis huffed and threw both brothers' arms off her shoulders. "Not particularly."
"We'll have to agree to disagree. What I wouldn't give to be the filling in that sandwich."
"Nothing Beatrix, you can be it because I certainly don't want to."
Quistis was trying to push Sephiroth and Yazoo away from her.
"Ohh, aren't you feisty. I quite like a bit of spirit. And I certainly don't mind sharing. So if you want to know more you know where to find me." Beatrix winked at the three before walking out of the library.
All three students were frozen by Beatrix's statement. Yazoo turned to Sephiroth. "You know you have the strangest affect on women. If she couldn't just have you she would take all of us."
"It's not my fault, women don't act so forward to me in general."
At this point Quistis decided it was time to leave. "C'mon Quezacotl let's get ready for the match." Quistis and Quezacotl were followed by Ramuh and Vivi. Loz joined his brothers.
Sephiroth stared at Quistis' retreating back before facing his brothers. "See… That's how women generally act around me. I don't know how to handle that other one."
Loz clapped a hand on each of his brothers' backs. "Let's get out of here and grab some dinner, I'm starved. We need to find out if Kadaj was successful in setting up his gambling races. Plus I can't wait to see everyone's reaction to Odin's new hairdo. Imagine Mario and Fabio's faces."
The three brothers exited the library and made their way towards the cafeteria. They waved to Aeris and Yuna sunbathing with Ifrit and Bahamut. Sephiroth couldn't tell if it was because the sun was so bright that he was seeing things or not but he could have sworn he saw a bulls eye appear on Aeris stomach for a second. Tidus was speaking with the Magus sisters and Cloud was holding a box and spade, he held the box very close when Sephiroth passed, Alexander followed Cloud as he walked towards the garden where Aeris and Yuna were. Tidus saluted them and he and the Magus sisters followed Cloud.
"Just dig up those roses that Aeris took ages to plant, I'm sure she won't mind," Cloud said and handed Tidus a spade.
"Will do." Tidus and Cloud were in the schools garden looking for a suitable and respectful place to bury Mr. Bunny. Well what was left of him any way.
"Get out of my light Cloud," Tidus huffed as the sun was suddenly obscured. When Cloud didn't answer Tidus looked up to find him craning upwards open mouthed. It was only then that Tidus noticed the enormous metal figure of Alexander looming over them. "It's Godzilla!" Cloud cried.
"It's only Alexander Cloud." Andy, Mandy and Sandy giggled at the pair.
Tidus looked at Cloud strangely. "Why did you just talk in a Japanese accent?"
Cloud shrugged and walked up to Alexander. It was then he saw Aeris and Yuna sunbathing with their SAEGF's at the end of the garden. "Hey ladies, catching some rays?"
Aeris looked at him. "No, we're just sitting in the sun with bikinis on and applying sun cream for the hell of it."
"Oh, okay then." Cloud sat on one of the sun loungers waved Tidus over.
"Though we're not getting much sun with Alexander's giant metal ass in the way!" Aeris shouted and threw a shoe at what she thought was Alexander's head. It ricocheted off and smacked Bahamut.
"Watch it! You'll have to pay for that." He rolled over which made his Hawaiian shorts fall down exposing the tan line on his enormous behind. The dragon threw a bottle of sun cream over at Aeris. "Get to work."
Aeris clenched her fists, "I'll get to work alright. Wha? What Yuna?"
Yuna sat behind Aeris, took her bikini straps off her shoulders and squeezed cream into her hands. "I… don't… think…you've… enough… sun cream… on," Yuna said while nodding and giving Cloud and Tidus pointed glances.
"Oh right," Aeris said catching on. "Be sure to rub it in really well. I hate feeling all sticky. Hey you guys put some on Yuna's back." Aeris and Yuna winked and pouted at the boys just to emphasis the point. Amazingly they seemed to catch on.
Cloud walked over plonked himself behind Yuna. The looked at the bottle and shook his head. "Only factor 50? But you're so pale. I always smother myself in factor 60. And look, hardly a freckle." He pulled his shirt over his head. The girls glanced at each other in dismay. This was not going to plan.
Tidus had meanwhile seated himself behind Cloud and was busy applying sun lotion on his back. "Yeah girls you should take more care of yourselves. UVA and UVB rays can still come through the clouds even on the cloudiest days. So take care to protect yourselves. Now you do my back Cloud."
"Haha you used my name three times in the sentence," Cloud said in awe.
Aeris and Yuna stood up angrily which caused the chair to go backwards dumping the boys on top of each other on the ground. "I'm surprised you can even count to three," Aeris said angrily.
"You… just… don't… get… it… do… you?" Yuna and Aeris walked off to check on the flowers while Cloud and Tidus looked at each other wondering what did they do.
"You don't think it's to do with the flowers?" Tidus asked in genuine bewilderment.
"Sure they don't know about that yet…"
"CLOUD!" The cry carried across the garden, through the school and made windows shatter.
"Ooops."
A/N: Hope you all enjoyed the chapter. :D Oh and don't forget…
Please Read and Review.
SephirothBeatrix: Cheers for the review. A glitterfied Kimahri would certainly be interesting and he'd make a very nice rug if the loan sharks ever catch up with him. As far as Angelo and Rinoa go all the love is on Rinoa's side, as Angelo seems intent on relieving her of some of her limbs. : P Ignore the eejit who flamed your fic, they obviously have too much time on their hands. And guaranteed they never wrote a fic in their life. So don't worry, be happy and keep writing it. We enjoyed reading it. :-) You're correct in guessing that our dear Sephy's love interest would be Quistis. It'll be coming up in the next few chapters. We picked Quistis cos she's one of our favourite female characters, she's underrated and FF8 didn't really do her justice! So we paired her up with our favourite male character, it's a match made in heaven. Hahahaha. Like all truly great love stories it doesn't run smoothly! So expect interfering mothers, randy summons and a rival in the shape of Beatrix. Yes that's right, we've added Miss One Eye herself as you might have read in this chapter. Lol Needless to say it complicates things a bit, as you'll find out later!
Random Reno Fangirl 05: Holy crap it is funny isn't it? ;-) But though maybe we should slap a government health warning on it due to readers falling out of chairs and hyperventilating while reading. Was the computer chair alright? We'd be very upset if the chair was damaged. ;o) We could just imagine your parents whispering to each other, "Get the Tranquillizer gun, she's finally snapped." Lol. Glad you picked up on the irony in the fic! We try to write certain things knowing what will actually happen in the game which in turn makes it funnier e.g. Cloud's spiky hair due to having 10,000 volts going through his body, Lulu being so cranky because her corsets on to tight and Sephiroth having inexplicable urges to kill Aeris. Squall's easy to write for, but later on we might get to hear more pearls of wisdom from him. Lol. Rufus and Zack are going to have cameos in later chapters so you can look forward to that. :-) Thankies for the review!
Xtrememuzroom: Holy Mother of Pearl? Lol Thanks for the Spongebob Squarepants compliment. :-) Sephiroths very funny dream was done by RealtF so all kudos go to her. As well as the image of Kadaj and his most holy guru getting in touch with their natural side. Seymour and Kadaj are similar to Mario and his dedication to hair when it comes to landscape architecting. Lol. Gotta have a hobby even if it involves rolling around in grass. Our good friend Goodgulf comes courtesy of the very funny book 'Bored of the Rings'. Every library should have a copy. LadyG shortened her life due to laughing so much while reading it. B-) You'd never think that Yazoo is one of our fav characters the way we treat him! Odin and himself would make a lovely couple. The kids would be born with long silver chest wigs and leather flares. Lol. Muchos gracias for the review!
Tirnam'Bas: Thanks very much for the review! We're glad that we're able to keep all the chapters great. Our favs are chappies 4 and 8, mainly because they were absolute hell to put up. :-) The computer tried to eat them, which caused much grinding of teeth as you can imagine. We're from the other end of the country, Cork actually. We try to update every month give or take a few days but the last chapter was hard and long to write. It was worth the wait though!
Number 15: We feel sorry for Yazoo as well even though we're the ones that put him in those situations to begin with! He's a sensitive guy with a sensitive ass apparently. We should make Odin and him a couple…maybe not. ;o) But he's one of our favourites. Yazoo is the one with the longest hair, the most enigmatic and also the skinniest out of all of them which explains how he can fit into that super tight trench coat. Course he doesn't wear much under it which helps. :-) Kadaj is the one with the really nice hair cut just above his shoulders. Really, really nice hair. You know its fantasy when someone can have hair that nice. Ooops sounding a bit like Mario there. He carries a badass double bladed sword. Now that's more information than you ever wanted! Lol. Nobody will ever look at Aeris the same way again thanks to us. She really is extraordinarily pink. Surprisingly enough another reader managed to fall off their chair while reading the fic. It's some sort of epidemic. Maybe we should have a health warning at the start. "Warning: Reading this fanfic will result in injury to you, the floor and the chair. It might also result in worried parents sending you on a one way trip to the loony bin or at the very least having to buy a new chair." Lol. Arigato for the review!
Satti: Cheers for the review! Happy to make you laugh, laughing is always good for what ails you. All credit must go to RealtF for the dream sequence. It was damn funny. Hercules is not only a good film; it's a great film! Gotta love Phil. :-) Jenova seems to be a popular addition; we'll definitely be adding her in more. An evil alien entity is always good for screwing up minds and keeping the brothers on their toes. They'll never have a thought to call their own soon. Lol. Bahamut is strangely likable. I mean who couldn't like a fat, drunken, unhygienic curry eating dragon? Well maybe the janitors. : P As for Odin we'll let Yazoo speak for us. 'So Yazoo what do you think of Odin?" Yazoo: (puts gun to head) 'Auuuuggghhhh!' Well there you have it folks! ;o)
Ninespiritualfires: Frankly we're surprised the students haven't died yet considering what the schools putting them through. They're very resilient but guess alcohol and drunkenness goes a long way towards making things more bearable! Glad to see you got the Hercules reference. We're unashamed Disney fans. And you got that Goodgulf was from Bored of the Rings! You certainly seem to know where we rip stuff off of. ;o() Bahamut and Odin are a helluva lot of fun to write so we're happy you found them so funny. They give the term 'SAEGF' a bad name. We certainly seem to be laying pain and anguish on Yazoo with a trowel. But it'll toughen him up, you'll see or else he'll go completely barmy! We wouldn't wish Odin on anyone. Lol. Thanks very much for the review!
Shahid: Cheers for the review:-) Glad to see you enjoyed the chapter so much, it was a good one. One can never obsess over the lovely Johnny Depp too much. We'll try and add more references to him in the coming chapters just for you. : P He's certainly one of your fav actors without a doubt. Him being swooningly good looking is just a plus! Lol. Yep we're still writing the fic as a team, it makes for loads of good ideas and we're both on the same wavelength, which is good. We tend to divide the writing of the fic between us. One of us writes one bit the other another bit and we join the bits up. RealtF writes most of Mario and Fabios scenes among other things and I would write Jenova's bits!
Advent Child: Glad you liked the cushions! And the chapter of course. Ahhhh you thought it was brilliant. (blushes) The ending was a bit mean on Yazoo we'll admit, but we couldn't resist it! Odin and Yaz have a love hate relationship, meaning Odin loves Yazoo and he hates Odins guts! Makes for some great comedy, pity Yaz has to be victim. (evil laugh) Our chapters are certainly getting longer; at this rate we'll have a huge bloated 'epic' to rival Tolkiens on our hands. But we enjoy writing it and seeing what horrible situations we can put the characters in next. :-) Sharing the typing definitely saves our fingers so they won't fall off for another while. But using Mario's 'No more aching fingers' own brand hand cream might speed up the process. : P Jenova is a great character and keeps the brothers on their toes. You'll be seeing more of her wreaking havoc in coming chapters. Lol. The brothers are our favs which is why we focus on them so much. They're great characters to write for and we never have a problem trying to think up lines for them. It'll be funny if they're actually like that in Advent Children, though we somehow doubt it! Their scenes practically write themselves and we always try to keep them in character. And you think we're clever! (blushes) We won't give up the recipe to Vincent's special drink that easily, mainly because we don't know what's in it either! He refuses to tell. . Hope you like this chapter and put the cushions to good use while waiting for the next one. But at the rate we update you might need new ones. ;o) Take care and muchos gracias for the review!
Kao: Thanks for the review. Glad to see you're enjoying it. Sephiroth and his brothers are our favourite characters too. We just can't resist putting them in awkward situations. : ) Jenova's such a classy lady (?), the guys don't know how lucky they are to have an evil, manipulative alien for a mother. The image of her going around dressed like a stressed out house wife is pretty funny we agree. We certainly seem to come down hard on Kadaj, poor dear Kadaj. We might actually us the idea of Jenova intruding on his thoughts when he's having some 'alone' time with the lawnmower magazines. Lol. As you asked here's an update! Now where's our cookies? Chocolate chip ones please.
Aries DracoShe loves us, she really loves us! Lol. Thanks very much for the review. Happy to make you laugh. Laughing is very good for you. It's going to continue for another while, we're not running out of ideas yet, so nobody needs to get killed! 'Fraid you won't be getting Masamune anytime soon. Sephiroth seems too attached to it. Of course you can always break into his dorm room, unlock the safe and steal it without getting seen and blame it on Kadaj…or maybe not. :P