Warning: Swearing, a lot of swearing, and mention of drugs.

Carry On My Wayward Son

"Hello, I'm calling to ask about Professor William Kant's office hours." There were times where I could make my voice sound completely unlike my own. This was one of them. I faked my voice well enough for other to not recognize it, since my youth I had practiced a multitude of accents. My favorite was my Southern. "I am a student of his, actually, and I lost his syllabus. So I basically had to go through a series of numbers to get yours, his secretary… Alice, which is you."

"Right," she drawled out. I felt my upper lip curl instinctively. She sounded so rude over the phone. "So, what year are you?"

"Freshman." I faked a smile as if she could see it. My role was a College Freshman, in search of her professor and going through unnecessary lengths to do so. Little did I know then, William Kant's class barely had a freshman in it. Someone forgot to mention that.

"Professor Kant is teaches Norse Mythology at an advanced level. He doesn't usually allow freshmen to join his course."

"I'm a special case then because I'm one of his favorite students." Cocky, freshman that goes to Princeton that was who I was. "Now, can I please have his office hours? I have a class in a little bit and it is important that I discuss something with him."

"He does not have any. He lives in his classroom, you could always discuss what you have to discuss after your class." Bitch. I would stay in my classroom too if she was my secretary, she sounded like an awful person. "Do you know when that is?"

"Friday?" I said unsure, shrugging my shoulders. It was a stab in the dark, really. No one took Friday classes and if they did, they were stupid.

Alice made a noise that sounded not human. I wanted to choke her through the phone. "Ah, so you are in his 3:45. Well, he will speak with you after class." How awkward would it be if I asked where his classroom was? I gritted my teeth as I heard her say, "Have a good day."

"Yeah, I'll try." I said to her before cursing at myself. She hung up before I could stop her. It was Wednesday so that meant I had to find out where he was located so I could get a hold of him. Irritated, I held the phone away from my ear, gripping it tightly before nearly slamming it where it belonged. I narrowed my eyes at the phone before dropping onto the bed, groaning. Someone's arm tightened their hold around my waist, and I shivered as I looked over at Loki who was sound asleep still. I wanted nothing more than to pry his arm off of me, but my hand involuntary went to his knotty hair. My fingers threaded themselves in it and I tried to comb through it.

I would like to forget last night, but it was going to be difficult to. I took my hand away from his hair and took the sheets that covered me to bury myself further within them. Sleep would help. Well, more sleep. When I moved my body before to dial the university, which wasn't much, I immediately felt the fatigue from the night before. It did not feel like any other fatigue I had before. I mean, my thighs ached more than they should have, they were definitely bruised, my arms felt heavier, and my finger dialing the number fell on top of each button limply. I didn't even know that I was that fragile.

My head fell on top of the pillow and my leg curled slightly as I felt his move between mine. This was all post-modem sex holding. We fell into this position, I, exhausted, he… well I don't really know. We were still tangled with each other, which was fine by me. It was a while since I fell asleep in someone's arms. Jake and I had gotten to the point when he moved in with me, after our slight 'honeymoon' phase, to not touching each other after sex—or just falling asleep before we would do… it. I swear it was like we were married and it made me sick. But I was never held like this.

It gave me a slight feeling in my stomach, that… I honestly didn't quite know what to call it. But, hell, I felt content just lying with him against me. I slept perfectly last night. His nose pushed against my back just as I closed my eyes. But they unfortunately reopened when I heard him say, "I heard you speaking before." I looked over my shoulder to see his eyes open. "Everything is settled, I'd imagine?"

I blinked several times before shifting myself in his hold to lie on my back, groaning when I had to push his leg away from mine. "Yes." No, not really, but I didn't want to tell him that we were going to have to go to his class and sit through it… and find out where it exactly was. "I wanted to get that done and over with."

"Which you haven't failed to do."

"You thought that I would fail? I'm too excited to be rid of you to actually forget that I had to do that."

"I could tell. You showed that excitement last night a number of times." That made me sick to my stomach. I knew that, I felt that in my legs. He smirked down at me before I felt his hand on my thigh that went stiff under his touch. He rubbed it in a small circle as if to relieve the tension. I tried to not seem actually feeling pleasured under his touch. I didn't want to be. I tried to keep my breathing stoic. "After last night, I doubt that you would want me gone any time soon."

"Think again."

He parted my legs, bending one as his hand moved along my inner thigh. "I don't need to. So, when shall we meet him?"

He was making ignoring him difficult. I could push his hand away but I didn't want to. I was content with staying like this all day, but I have other plans—plans that didn't include him. I don't know if I should leave him alone in the motel room all day, or take him with me when it really was something that I should do on my own. "Friday, 3:45. We have to sit through his class though."

I gritted my teeth when I found that I could no longer ignore. His hand inched up on my thigh and I stopped it before it got any closer. "No," I said to him firmly. A look of disbelief crossed his face. He didn't quite remove his hand off of me. "Last night was only a one time thing."

"A one time thing? You didn't seem like you wanted it to end last night."

"That's because I gave into you last night. You were nothing more than a rebound and I'm honestly not prepared to be your fuck buddy. We have a business relationship… you and I, and I don't want that to change."

"Those lines were blurred a long time ago." Loki told me. I didn't know what to say, I didn't think I could say anything. My mouth did not have the capability to speak words because he was right. His other hand went to my hair, collecting a curl as he twisted it around his finger. I turned my face away from him, feeling uncomfortable. "At any time you could have said no." Loki pressed himself against me, his nose grazed the side of my face, and I tried not to shiver as he breathed along my jaw. "But… you didn't. It felt good giving into your temptations." Goddamn my lusty temptations. I leaned toward his lips, closing my eyes. "I will be sure that matters of business and matters of pleasure would be separate for now on, do not worry. I won't let it get in the way."

That was all it took. He convinced me so easily. My mouth parted as if I was ready for his lips to kiss mine. Even if it was morning, I didn't care. I would deal with the bad breath; it wouldn't be the first time. My hand moved away from his to allow him to do what he will, but it all soon ended.

When I leaned forward to kiss him, he wasn't there.

Nope.

His hand disappeared from my thigh and his other disappeared from my hair. I fell onto his side of the mattress, only noticing that there wasn't a body lying there. I groaned loudly. I was either dreaming that or… "Oh, Alex," no… no… no… I gritted my teeth before picking up my head, keeping the sheets on top of me to cover myself from Lorelei's taunting eyes. She looked at me curiously, a smirk teasing its way onto her face. "You haven't forgotten about me, have you?"

Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch.

Lorelei was a fucking bitch. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I lied in bed like the gaping fish she often left me as. "That was a steamy night you had with the disgraced Prince of Asgard."

"Are you jealous?" I asked her, finding my capability of words.

"Of you? No, what he and I had—."

"No, of him." I cut her off through my teeth, angrily gripping at the sheets of the pillow next to me. I wanted to do nothing but throw it at her. Lorelei seemed almost surprised with me. "Every time you decide to fucking show up, you pretend to be him! I don't understand! Can't you just pop in like a regular… person?"

"I like playing with you, Alex. It is much fun watching you squirm."

"That wasn't you last night, was it?" I asked her curiously, because I honestly didn't know what was real and what was faked. I didn't want to think that it was she who was in this bed last night with me because… honestly, I didn't want to do that with her… I didn't go that way. Lorelei only laughed at me, shaking her head no. That didn't calm me down, that only irritated me. "So… you watched? Do you always watch us? Are you really that bored?"

"You two are entertaining."

"Why are you here?" I wasn't in the mood for her and now I was certainly not in the mood for anyone else now. My head was beginning to pound like a drum and… I glanced over at the clock to see that it was 10:43 am… I already wanted a drink of something. Loki was right on cue. He walked through the door promptly and his eyebrows perked up at me when he, I guess, saw me seething.

He pointed at me, "Something the matter?"

"Prompt as ever, my Prince." Lorelei said to him, her arms crossing over her chest, as she looked him up and down. I noticed the slight irritation on Loki's face as he turned to face her. The door closed by itself from Lorelei's doing and I shifted uncomfortably from where I was. "Tell me, is it my scent that drives you over here or your trollop's vulgar words toward me?"

"Your scent often drives me away, if you are curious to know."

"Yeah… same here." I added to her, with a nod of my head, trying to forget what just happened before.

"Quiet, you foolish quim." Did… did she just call me what I think she just called me? My mouth dropped and I narrowed my eyes at her in disbelief. "We all know that is not true. You can't tell the difference between your lover and I still."

"He's not my lo—."

"I said, quiet." I watched as Lorelei only needed to twist her hand and once again I felt something clamp itself against my mouth—which was nothing. My lips were sealed together and my eyes widened. I narrowed my eyes at her. "The adults are talking now, my sweet." I was not her sweet. I looked over at Loki pleadingly, as if begging to get this over with so I could be mortified just as I was before, but he didn't look over at me, or spare me a glance. His attention was on Lorelei… Well, at least I wasn't turned into stone this time. I kept quiet on the bed and looked between them.

Loki waved his hand dismissively toward my way, "She really is not my lover."

"I do not care for your relationship with the mortal. I have come with news to bring." Lorelei said, walking slowly to the lonely chair set in the corner. She rested her elbows on either armrest and crossed her legs. "My sister knows what you intend to do with the necklace. She is on the search for it as well."

"Am I to be expecting her any time soon?"

"She will be sure to not pay you a visit. You know how she is. She is still upset with you from when you helped me get Thor's attention eons ago. My sister may be weak, but she does have allies that are your enemies. Be sure to watch your back and the back of your whore's." Lorelei glanced over to me with a smirk on her face. "You do know that your whore has to survive for your little scheme to work, don't you? We don't want Amora to murder her." I felt extremely uncomfortable by her words and I narrowed my eyes at her confused. What was that supposed to mean?

I looked over to Loki, whose jaw clenched, his hands twitched at his side as if he wanted to muster something, but couldn't. "Get out." He nearly snarled toward her. Lorelei looked to him surprised. "Thank you for bringing us the news." He said to her tersely.

"You have not told her yet, have you? You do not think that she has a right to know?" A right to know what? I was panicking and when I tried to speak up, I couldn't. My lips were tightly sealed together, there was no way for me to talk or yell out something. "Oh, well, secrets are never good to start a relationship, my prince."

"There is no relationship, now leave."

"Why? Because I'm ruining your plans?"

"Lor—." He abruptly stopped when she snapped her fingers. She disappeared from our sights. My eyes somewhat widened as I moved my lips, taking in a deep breath. My eyes stayed on the armchair that she was sitting in. I had my voice back, I could move my mouth, but I didn't know what to say. Loki did not yet speak to me. I felt my teeth grit as I glared over at him. She could be saying words that weren't true, they all could be lies, but there was a certain look that had crossed her eyes. She could have been telling the truth. He was hiding something… I always knew he was, but what he was hiding, I had a feeling then was bigger than I expected.

"What did she mean?" I asked him slowly, afraid of the answer. I did not want to think it. Not after… I shivered. I was his fuck buddy. I was his plaything. I was his whore because for some reason I was his pawn in whatever he was doing. As I realized this, I felt almost sick to my stomach. I used him last night as much as he used me. I just… this was too much of a shock for me to even take right now. I didn't even want to be in the same room as him.

He did not answer me. I watched his jaw clench tighter and I was tempted to throw something at him. "Why did she say that, Loki?"

"Do not trust her words. She is a trained liar, Alex. You know this."

"According to her, you trained her to lie. She was not lying then. I saw how you looked at her." I told him carefully. "What am I to you?"

"Alex—."

"I'm much more than someone who's your chauffeur, right?" I nearly shouted at him, feeling anger bubbling through my veins. I took the covers off of me, shaking my head. "What are you using me for?" I asked him, standing up and going to my duffle bag. I didn't care that I was uncovered as I walked to it. I was getting my clothes anyway to go out. "I need to get out of here."

"Where do you plan on going?" Loki asked from where he was and I bent down to collect several items of clothing. I slipped on a pair of underwear, completely ignoring his question. I had a difficult time putting my bra on, my fingers fumblingly mindlessly as they tried to clip it back. My bra was on crookedly, but I didn't care. I pulled on a t-shirt. "Alex, there is no purpose in you leaving."

"I need to think things through, which I can do when you aren't around me." I looked at a pair of jeans and nearly cringed when I saw their state. There was a hole right where my knee would be… it wasn't fun to wear jeans with holes in them in New Jersey, in the middle of February. The winter here was bipolar. I slipped into them, jumping slightly to get my legs though. God, they were tight. I picked up my toothbrush and toothpaste, almost leaving without doing that and my brush to comb through my knotty hair.

Although I would have left without doing my hair, in fact, I took several pins and hair ties with me to the bathroom. Loki tried to go into the bathroom. "Alex, you are really going to listen to anything that she says?" His voice wasn't one who was concerned, or did it carry disbelief. He sounded like he was caught in the act of his lie. I squeezed the toothpaste out of its tube tightly. I didn't even put it under water before I began to brush. "She is a liar and you are falling into her trap."

"Fre did no' see' like fre w's l'ing!"

Translation: She did not seem like she was lying.

Loki's upper lip curled slightly before he took my hand and squeezed it so tightly that he managed to make me hiss. The toothbrush was loosened out of my hand into his and I watched my toothbrush be thrown away from me. I looked up at him in disbelief before opening my mouth and closing it. I wiped my hand against it to get rid of the foam that gathered from brushing my teeth. "Are you out of your fucking mind?" I asked him, rinsing out my mouth with water. "You owe me a new toothbrush." I muttered.

"I don't owe you anything." Loki told her with a laugh coming from him. But it all soon ended. "You have forgotten who you're speaking to, Alex."

"I haven't." I told him, gritting my teeth and facing him. "We had an agreement. I was only to help you if you were straight with me and I have let thousands of things go. But… I can't let this one go. This is it."

"You do not see what she is doing? She is turning you against me."

"Why would she do that? She is on our side!" I cried out.

Loki clenched his jaw before telling me in a hiss, "No one is ever truly on our side. I have made a lot of enemies over the years and she is one of them." A lot of enemies? A lot more enemies than the whole human race, than Lorelei, than Amora? Than the Avengers? The Asgardian royal family apparently? How many enemies did he have… that was more than that?

"Are there more than I know of?" I asked him, my voice cracking slightly. I was nervous… I wanted nothing more than to get out of here, but the fact that other people or things might be on their way to kill him… us… me… made me want more answers. It made me just want to stay and ask him everything. "Loki…"

"I have many." Loki said to me quickly and I think my heart stopped beating at that moment.

I didn't know what to do other than ask him, "Am I… am I going to die helping you?"

"You are not going to die." He looked me directly in the eyes. I was not going to die. There was a slight truth in his eyes that made me calm down, but that still didn't stop the fact that I knew he was hiding something—something from me that was major. "Now, stop talking because you are making yourself look foolish."

I stared at him for a moment, feeling his hands come onto my shoulders. He rubbed them soothingly to calm me down. But… I wasn't calmed down. Lorelei shouldn't have been the one that was holding me. If he hadn't left, I wouldn't be in this position. Something wasn't right. He played kiss, fuck, ditch with me, Lorelei revealed something big before, and he was trying to calm me down as if to make me forget everything.

I thought back to what Lorelei said to me when we first met, how she advised me that Loki was not to be trusted. They both were not to be trusted, but I think I found some truth in her words. I gritted my teeth before turning my body away from me. "Get the fuck away from me." I said to him, gripping my hairbrush and brushing my hair to get several knots out of my hair. What I needed was a shower, but there was no time for that. I needed to get out of here. Loki's hands fell from me. "You may… have provided a good point with Lorelei, but that doesn't excuse anything else I'm pissed at you about."

"Pray tell, Alex, what else are you bothered with?" I paused in my brushing, hearing the mocking tone in his voice. I could be overreacting, but if you ever had been played with all night, wake up to someone else that you think is the man that you spent the night with, and then go through hell because of that someone else, then yes, maybe you would feel the same. The mocking tone in his voice did not help him.

I tried to keep my voice even as I brushed my hair, my anger made my brushing at a quick pace and those knots were conquered through. "First off, your snarky attitude is bothersome."

"Yours is too."

"I would rather you not to comment." I told him coldly. I glanced over at him to see that he was trying to control himself. I could see that he had that look like he wanted kill me, or hit me, or something. "Second… where did you go?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You heard me, or you can't give me a straight answer to that too?" I asked him, faking a smirk to him before I took the pins I grabbed and two hair ties. I bit down on my pins as I twisted my hair into a ponytail before speaking to him with the pins in my mouth. "You knew that Lorelei likes to watch us, you knew that, and you left. Normally, I wouldn't care, but I woke up to 'you.'" Surprisingly my voice was clear, but slightly muffled, but he was able to understand me. He did not answer me. I twisted my ponytail into a bun before taking the pins from my mouth to keep my hair in place.

I went on to say, "I feel like an idiot… to think that was actually you, I'll admit that… but, really? That was a dick move, playing kiss, fuck, ditch with me. You might have done that in Asgard all the time, but some of us mortal women," I paused, sliding a pin into my hair, "circumcise and then castrate a man for doing that… for future reference."

"And that is what you are truly angry about? The fact that I left you."

My hands fell from my hair and went on top of my lap. I felt myself bite my tongue once the 'yes' bubbled up my throat. It wasn't the only reason, but that was insulting. He didn't care enough to stay… Okay, yes he did come back but it was still disappointing. I swallowed immediately when I felt his hands on my hips. My mouth parted slightly as I brought my eyes to the mirror facing us. He brought my body against his and his lips were on my cheek. His hands snuck underneath my shirt and his cold hands made me go cold as they inched up.

His hands pulled my shirt up with them. "Let me make that up to you."

I breathed slowly as I closed my eyes. I didn't understand this. Why was it so easy to succumb to him? His mouth was moist as they moved along the side of my face, his fingers slipped underneath my bra and I felt myself turning toward him, but before I pressed my lips against his, I stopped it. I gripped his wrists tightly within my hands and then, grunting, pushed them away. I wasn't going to allow this to happen again, to unravel just as it did the night before. "No," I faced his intense gaze again, and did what I could to resist him.

I never saw him so bothered by me before. His green eyes scared the shit out of me at this point. I shook my head no before telling him firmly, "You treated me like a whore last night and then you threw me aside just like a whore."

"You did everything last night willingly." Loki told me knowingly.

"I did, but you caught me at a weak moment." I turned around to face him. His hands were no longer on me, his lips were pulled up in a scowl rather than being on me (and it almost made me stop what I was doing, seeing his lip curled), and I saw his frustration glimmer across his eyes.

"You haven't expressed this weak moment the whole three times," three? I could have sworn it was two… "You could have stopped it every other time. You, however, did not, so forgive me for misinterpreting your actions."

"You still do not leave someone alone the next morning." I told him evenly. "I would have been fine with it, if we didn't have Lorelei looming over our heads… so to wake up to her, and not you did upset me. So forgive me for being a little insulted and angry about you giving her the chance to fucking take your place!" It was no longer even. The anger consumed me and as I spoke I felt the hot tears come from my eyes. I was… I was crying over this? Before I said that he was a rebound and now I was upset?

My body trembled as I began to breathe heavily. I shook my head in disbelief and tried to keep my tears in my eyes because I knew that I didn't want to cry in front of him… I couldn't even cry in front of him when Manny died—I had to do it when my back was turned. "I… I got to go." I told him quickly, preparing myself to leave and not paying any mind to how he was looking at me.

I pushed past his shoulder and headed for the door, only to feel my wrist being grabbed from behind. His grip on my wrist was tight, almost painfully tight. "Don't leave."

It wasn't the 'don't leave' you would hear from a Romance movie, or read in Romance novel. It was a dangerous 'don't leave'. The kind of phrase that made me want to leave… but it was also the kind of phrase that made me want to stay just for pure curiosity as to why those words came out of his mouth. Maybe, I wanted them to be romantic, but I knew that they weren't. "If you leave, you would not come back and I need you."

"Unlike you, Loki, I keep my end in bargains." I told him spitefully before wringing my wrist out of his grip, feeling it burn slightly. Once I got it out of his hold, I turned on my heel to face him and took several steps away from him. "I just need my space to calm down, and I'll be back."

"You actually think that I will let you leave like that?"

"Yes, because for some reason you trust me to come back… I just have a difficult time trusting you." That was the truth. I knew he trusted me, sometimes, I saw it when he looked at me. He didn't tell me a lot of things that would really give me the sense that he trusted me, but he knew that I was going to do my side of the arrangement. He knew too well. "I paid for this room, Loki. You think that I would actually not come back and waste my money? Come on, you must know that I'm too cheap to allow that to happen."

"I know you will come back." Loki replied to me, before casting his eyes down at the ground. "If you are to leave, I suggest you go now before I make you stay." I nodded understandingly and did not give him a goodbye or a see you later when I turned around to leave. I picked up my keys and my room key before leaving the room, although I stayed outside of the door for a moment before I heard a loud punch to a wall. I closed my eyes as I leaned against the door outside. But then, I decided to not linger and headed to my car—barefooted (thank god for me having shoes in the car to put on for situations like these). I knew what place and one place only, in all of New Jersey that could calm me down.

I stayed in the car. I took the habit of smoking a cigarette for a brief moment as I watched the building. It was 2 pm. Around 2 pm, every weekday, the high school had buses lined up and waited for kids to come out of their hellhole to go home. I inhaled the smoke of my cigarette before holding it outside of my window. I tapped the ash away from its tip. I watched the kids file out of school, one by one, and they all headed for their buses. The young freshman I was looking for wouldn't be going to a bus. My eyes searched the crowd of walkers before they landed on a familiar face.

I smiled slightly. I might call her a bitch sometimes, but she was my sister. I stick the cigarette in my mouth for a brief moment before I put the car in drive and pull away from the curve. My eyes followed my sister and her friends, who I noticed now, were mostly boys, and instead of pulling up toward them and asking them if they wanted a ride, I simply followed them… for no apparent reason.

I was still in a sour mood… unfortunately. I did not know what to do other than go to the park my father took me when I was younger. The park was the worst place to go to because it reminded of him, but it also managed to calm me down.

Victoria and her friends kept a steady pace walking from school. They did not notice me following them, which I think I should talk to her about—I mean they should pay attention to their surroundings. I kept my distance away from them, but a safe distance where I could still see them. However, when I turned a corner… I think I saw the most shocking think I had seen in my life.

I knew the route to our house, so a detour to somewhere was something I would notice. I watched them turn the corner down an alleyway. My mouth parted curiously, and I lowered my sunglasses to see that what I was seeing was right. I put the directional on and pulled to the curb immediately. I stepped out of my car and ignored the parking toll in front of it, which wasn't wise to do if there were cops around, but I didn't care.

I flicked the cigarette away from my mouth and stomped it out on the sidewalk before creeping up against the wall. My brow furrowed. I stood there for five minutes listening to their conversation. My sister's voice hadn't changed these past three years. I hadn't seen her or talked to her these past three years, but she still had the same face and the same voice. She looked more mature, but that was natural for a girl her age.

Was it funny that I knew what my goody-two-shoes sister was doing right now? I chuckled lightly to myself, never even pictured her to be the type… Miss Debate Team. I only moved when I deemed it necessary. I got away from the wall and had my sunglasses over my eyes. I spotted a slight circle gathering at the end of the alley. I nearly rolled my eyes. I did this in the basement of Quinn's house and the backyard of others. They were most likely all nerds, thinking that they couldn't do this at home, or wouldn't risk it.

Victoria wouldn't risk it. I was shocked though that she would risk our mom to smell it off of her. I walked over to her group of friends, smirking to myself, feeling for once that day like my usual self—who didn't cry because she got upset that the man that she slept with left her the next morning and was replaced with a demon woman. They still didn't notice me as they passed around their pipe, coughing slightly from inhaling too much, and lighting the bottom up.

I stood behind Victoria who had her back toward me and waited until the pipe was passed to her. My chance to shine… I finally caught the little brat doing something that she wasn't supposed to do. "Hey kids, what're you doing there?" I made my presence known with that. That probably wasn't wise, but I took pleasure to see all of their little heads snap up to me. Victoria was frozen in her place. I didn't know if she recognized my voice yet.

If I was any of these kids, I would have ran. They stayed where they were, frozen, looking to me like I was going to tell on them. I chuckled at all of them, "Do you mind sharing that pipe?"

"What pipe?" One of them asked me. I tilted my head back and looked the boy up and down, who seemed to be innocent. I puckered my lips as I took him in.

I shrugged my shoulders, "The one that my sister has in her hand." I heard a shit come from somewhere and I tried not to snicker when I saw Victoria turn her head around finally to face me. I smirked at her before I extended my hand toward her. "Well, Vicky, give it here."

She did not say hi to me. She did not say anything. However, she did hand it over to me. I held the glass pipe in my hand, looking it over. I gestured for the lighter that wasn't yet given to me and Victoria stood up reluctantly. My eyes never left her as I took the lighter out of her hand, however I had no use of it.

To be the asshole she remembered me as, I dropped the glass pipe onto the ground, hearing it smash into a million pieces. I even cringed as I heard it.

I glanced down at the pipe, kicking the glass with my shoe before deciding on stepping on it, crushing each individual piece that was alongside the weed that they were smoking. I looked back up at all of their faces. Shocked that I had done what I had done. I pocketed the lighter before I told them, "Marijuana is a gateway drug, kids. It leads to bad things."

"That was mine!" One cried out to me. Victoria did not say anything still.

I laughed lightly, "Then I did you a favor, if your mom or dad sees that they'd be sure to drug test you everyday. Now, all of you," I gestured to them, before tossing my head back, "Get lost… go home and do your homework like the geeks that you are."

They listened to me. I used my authoritative voice that I rarely used. I used to use it on Vicky when we were younger and she was under my care. I look toward her as she stood by my side. "I'll drive you home."

"I can walk home." She told me shortly. Her first words to me were what were expected. What did I think she was going to do? Give me a hug and tell me she missed me? I pulled a dad. I left without so much a word. "Why are you here, Alex?"

"Visiting." I answered her honestly. I had my hand on my shoulder as I steered her away from where she was. She reluctantly moved with me. "You know, catching up with friends… you… and I see that you surround yourself with the brightest of minds."

"They are smarter than you."

"Your geeky friends did not even notice me following them in my car, nor did you. And you all didn't notice me standing behind you for at least three minutes. I could tell that they're smart."

"Well, they're better than who you surround yourself with." She told me. I grounded my teeth and I think my hold on her shoulder grew tighter. "Is that how you know it's a gateway drug? You're into heroin now?"

"Do I look like a heroin addict?" I asked her honestly. Maybe I did today, I walked like I had fatigue and my skin was paler than usual. I also had red eyes, slightly puffy from… uh, crying, but I never did that. "I mean… I would have at least guessed cocaine, but I understand because you must think me as a drug addict."

"That's what mom calls you."

"And that doesn't surprise me." My mom always had the kindest of words to say about me. I did not let my sister walk home and though she said she would rather, she followed my lead to the car. I was lucky enough to not get a ticket, I noticed, and I watched her slide into the seat next to me. I smirked slightly and said to her, "I'm not here for mom, I'm here for you. I haven't seen or talk to you since…"

"Three years." I really did pull a dad. I heard the slight hurt in her voice and it made my smirk falter slightly. The only difference between her and I was that she was nothing like me. My mother always said that she was the pride and joy of the two of us in her eyes. I was the failure child. My sister was the same age I was when my father left. Eleven… I didn't realize that until now, she as eleven years old when I moved to Chicago. Well… it wasn't exactly a one way street… my sister was old enough to use a phone and she had my number…

I nodded my head stiffly before pulling away from the curb. But as I did, I asked, "Would you like to drive?" That was an awkward, stupid question.

I saw my sister give me a strange, puzzled look before stating, "I'm fourteen."

"You don't need your permit."

"Yes I do, I could get arrested."

"You were just about to smoke weed and now you won't let me teach you how to drive because it's illegal?" I asked her amused, with my eyebrow perking up. She didn't answer me. She turned forward and her eyes stared blankly forward at the road. I bit the inside of my mouth and found myself regretting my decision. Maybe it was best to leave things just as they were. "So… is one of those boys your boyfriend?" Another awkward question was asked. "They were cute… I mean."

"I don't have a boyfriend." Victoria said flatly. I didn't know how I should reply with that tone, but I nodded my head encouragingly.

"Good, that's good." I felt Victoria's eyes on me now, but I didn't look over to her. "Boys are stupid and jerks and they only want one thing because they are horny, little bastards." I didn't know where I was headed with this, but I felt it go down hill right there. "They are. They really, really are. And if I were you, I'd stay a virgin for the rest of your life because it's nothing special."

She asked me immediately after, "Are you high?" I wished I were… I shouldn't have wasted that perfectly good weed. I could use it. The most awkward car ride continued on for about three more minutes before I pulled up to her house. We were silent the whole time. We didn't know what to say to each other. I wanted to be a good sister, tell her I missed her and that I loved her… but I didn't think it would be right. She didn't get out of the car right away. She sat in it for a few more awkward seconds.

I tried to smile over at her. "You don't have to tell mom about our slight meeting. I would rather her not know." That was what I said to her? Don't tell mom? I was an idiot.

"I wasn't going to."

"How are you?" I asked her, not skipping a beat. I should have asked that immediately, I shouldn't have waited. Victoria did not answer me. "I… I doubt that school's an issue… you were always good with that. You have a lot of friends… it seems."

"Did you actually think that I would be easy to talk to after you left… without me hearing from you?" Victoria asked me. I gulped inwardly, turning my head forward. Victoria shook hers before I heard the car door open. I was waiting for a door slam, but I didn't hear one. I glanced over to see Victoria lingering in the doorway of the passenger seat. Her back was to me before she turned her head toward me. "You thought that following me and embarrassing me in front of my friends would make things better?"

"That wasn't what I thought."

"Then what did you think?" I didn't know. I didn't have a good answer for her.

I was going to open my mouth before I heard a male's voice come from my house. "Vic! What are you doing out there?" I sat frozen in my seat. My eyes widened when I recognized that voice… so clearly as if it were yesterday, though the last I heard of it was fourteen years ago. My eyes found Victoria's, who seemed to look back at me differently. I pursed my lips before narrowing my eyes at her.

"I'll be there in a minute!" She said, tossing a look over her shoulder. I caught a glimpse of him standing on the stoop, looking at my car suspiciously. "Just a friend who drove me home." The man nodded reluctantly to her, before disappearing into the house. I was slack-jawed by the time she turned back to me. I didn't even know if I could ask her why he was there. But she said to me, "Don't come back."

Don't come back… the passenger door slammed shut and I felt something erupt inside of me. This day was too much for me. I shifted the gear and glanced at the house that was once my home before pulling away from the curb. I needed a drink.

Fuck.

I needed a drink.

It was only 2 pm, not even happy hour, and I was making my way toward the bar. The whole time though, over the radio, I saw my father's face and heard his voice from before, and fourteen years ago.

I had to pull over for a moment. I stared blankly forward for at least two minutes, contemplating on how I should take this…

But then, finally, I allowed myself to yell out in the car, beating the steering wheel angrily. I closed my eyes painfully tight when I felt the same hot tears spill from my eyes. I took my sunglasses off and threw them onto the seat next to me. It was all a blur; my blind anger was a blur.

I didn't know why I had seen my father. There could be a reason that was logical, a reason that I was missing, but I didn't see sense right now. My breathing was quick and the same headache that pounded its way this morning found a permanent place behind my forehead. I cried out, letting the sobs erupt from me. I didn't need to know the reason why… I didn't want to know why my father was there.

I just… I just…

Fuck, at this point, I couldn't breath. At this point, anything would do for me. A part of me wanted to go back to the motel, but then Loki would see me like this. I didn't want to after leaving like I did. I would seem weak and that I depend on him—I didn't depend on him. I took out my phone, flipped it open, and looked through numbers, searching for someone to call… to talk to. I lingered on both Quinn and even Jake, but I didn't dial either of their numbers. I threw the phone in the back seat and felt myself tremble as I sat there.

My shaky hand was on the gear, ready to shift it so I could drive. The nasty, sad hiccups overcame my chest and I wanted to throw up. I wanted to throw up because I saw his face on top of my stoop. I felt… angry, betrayed, and slightly envious. He left me when I needed him the most… he left me when my sister was first born, and I had to take care of her when mom didn't… and now… now he came back?

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to think about it. It might have been a trick being played with my eyes, but I knew what I saw and heard. This wasn't one of those… illusions I experienced these past fucking weeks. This was real. That was him that was my father. I gritted my teeth and wiping at my eyes to get rid of my tears, I shifted the gear to drive off.

I knew what I wanted and what I needed. I was going to get that long-needed drink.

… This chapter had a lot of things going on in it… as you can tell… I would stay and chat, but I have to begin my day and I wrote this non-stop since I got home yesterday, I wasn't even supposed to update it until like next week, but you guys are awesome. You all are amazing, each one of you. The support I have been getting for this story is overwhelming and it is overwhelming the best way. Thank you, all of you! And I hope you enjoyed this chapter… even though it was slightly intense at times (next chapter would be lighter, and we get to see drunk Alex).

Alex's family is going to come back… that scene with her sister though, was the most awkward thing to write and I hope that went through because it was really supposed to be awkward (wouldn't you be if you haven't seen or talked to your sister for three years and she just suddenly showed up?). They will be an interesting bunch, let me tell you.

Thank you all for reading and I'll see you next time!