Avoiding Detection

Part X

I may not be have verse in relationship but even I know that the phrase of 'we need to talk' is never great way to start off a conversation as my stomach is all in knots of it. I cannot comprehend how either of succumb to this or how complicated this situation has become as I was perfectly content with just requiring an education, hoping to make some kind of difference in the world. It was going too well for something like to occur and now I don't understand my own feelings anymore as I have pride myself of being in control of my own emotions. I guess that I will continually have feelings for the first person that I feel in love with as I never thought I could love anyone or have anyone love me in turn but when Aliza deserted me, I vowed to never open my heart to be forsaken again. When I arrived at Shiz, acquainting with Glinda Uplands for the first time instantly loathing each other and I knew that I could never fall for someone as superficial and vain as the socialite and things had declined from there when we were placed as roommates.

We couldn't stand the sight of each other as we evaded spending too much time in each other's presence as much as possible on campus or in our dorm room but when we were in the same proximity, sarcastic insults and barbs were thrown. Getting the vain debutante riled up had become all too easy but a part of my daily routine but it grew tiresome in a way after two years of rooming together although I never thought that I would foresee the day that Glinda would want a green bean for a companion. I don't know what possessed me to agree to this arrangement as the socialite dragged me on shopping trips and get-togethers with her friends, witnessing her getting intoxicated as I should've known it was a terrible idea. I've been careful of concealing my secret from the school as well as my roommate but I couldn't stop myself from getting aroused when she drunkenly began giving me a lap dance.

For weeks incidents began happening before the debutante revealed inebriated that she has feelings for me, shocking me vastly because I couldn't fathom someone of Glinda's social standing could possibly fall for someone as abnormal as me. I had begin to credit to the large amounts of alcohol that she consumed the night before but after entertaining the brainless Winkie prince's theories of the debutante being jealous of my former lover and the blonde's own actions, it was starting to make sense. I don't know what to do or what to feel about any of this as everything has come to head when Aliza came to me about wanting to reconcile our relationship and I would be lying to myself if I didn't said that the thought hadn't crossed my mind. When the socialite made her presence known as the redhead leaves, I was angry that my conversation was eavesdropped on and when I confronted her about it, everything exploded as I push my roommate up against a wall with out mouths fused together.

I push myself away from the blonde beauty as she looks at me with eyes fill with lust and desire, apologizing for my out of character behavior as I attempt to analyze what cause this. It's common knowledge that Glinda is incredibly beautiful as most of the male population with a few exceptions like Crope and Tibbet are falling over themselves for a chance go out with them. The socialite is never a shortage of dates although ever since Fiyero came, she has claimed that they will be married after graduation even though I think that she could do so much better, needing someone that could challenge her intellectually. Despite popular belief, there's an actual brain underneath all those blonde curls after digging past all of the vanity and ego, she's quite passionate about repairing old architectures and I'm rather fond of this side of her.

The debutante can be kind and generous when she wants to be as I've seen it a handful of times when I'm not on the receiving end of it and nurturing, reminding me to eat something when I get lost in schoolwork and to go to bed at a decent hour. I wish that Glinda would take her education a bit more seriously as she told me that she wanted to become an architect during one of the late night conversations that she would force me to endure when finding sleep was difficult. I've seen some of her drawings, they're incredibly detailed and awe-inspiring as I'm certain that she will achieve her dream but it will challenging if she doesn't cut on all of the party and drinking. There's no way that the socialite should have feelings for me as there's some things that she doesn't know about me, things that will have her turn away from me and disgust her before leaving me alone.

Despite what I might have said in the past, I have gotten quite used to having Glinda in my life and I would rather not give her reasons to leave me like so many others have in the past after finding out my secrets. I cannot allow myself to ruin her by pursuing a romantic relationship with me, it will only hurt the debutante in the end and I cannot have that as I inhale sharply, steeling myself for what I am about to do. I turn to face the socialite with an impassive look, opening my mouth but before I could respond, I'm thrust against the wall as she presses her lips softly against my own and in spite of myself; I melt into the kiss. Her body meshes well with my own, gripping Glinda's hips to draw her in close as our lips move in sync and before I knew what was happening, we're moving backwards until the edge of the bed takes me out at the knees.

The socialite straddles my hip before merging our lips again, taking my hair out of the braid as I run my hands along her sides, setting on her curvy hips before looking into her sky blue eyes as it feels like she's looking into my soul. I feel my heart skip a beat as a familiar yet unfamiliar feeling rises in the pit of my stomach as the voice in the back of my mind, sounding like Father saying that I'm deluding myself and that I'm a fool if anyone could love me. I shut my eyes tightly, trying not to listen to the voices in my mind that are berating and criticizing me as I don't want to believe the words that they were calling me but it's difficult until a soft voice slowly breaks through the loud, overlapping voices. I feel gentle kisses being pressed against my face until I open my eyes to see Glinda looking at me sympathetically, assuming that I look weak and pathetic in her eyes as I just want the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

I bury my face into my shoulder as she tangles her fingers in my hair, massaging my scalp soothingly as I hope that we wouldn't have to talk about anything but I know that it's too much to hope for.

"Elphie. Elphie, you can't fall asleep on me because we still have to talk about what's going on between us"

I groan pitifully because that's the last thing that I want to do but the girl above could be especially stubborn when she wants something and do everything in her power to ensure that she'll get it.

"What's there to talk about?" I said lifting my head from her shoulders. "I kissed you and apologized for it. There's no need to talk further"

"Elphie, you can't ignore this or treat it like it didn't mean anything" Glinda said furrowing her eyebrows together.

"It's because it doesn't mean anything because either one of us like each other in that manner" I said frowning. "So we should put it behind us and bring it up again"

"Y-You can't possibly mean that, Elphie" Glinda said eyes swelling with tears.

I wanted to take everything that I had said if it would stop Glinda from looking at me like that but it would do more harm than good if she traps herself in a relationship with me, making life that much harder for her and I can't allow that to happen. I want her to have everything that she could possibly have in life and being tied to me will make it that much harder to accomplish as I gently remove the socialite from my lap, steeling myself for what's about to happen next.

"I do, Glinda. You were drunk when you kissed last night and I assume that the effects of the alcohol, you consumed are still coursing through your bloodstream"

"Then why did you kiss me now if you think that I'm still drunk" Glinda said glaring at me.

"An lapse in judgment but it won't happen again" I said shaking my head.

"No, I know what you're doing Elphaba Thropp and you're a coward" Glinda said standing her full height. "This is something that you can't control and you're scared of what this could mean for us. You're afraid of allowing yourself to feel something for me"

"I don't feel anything for me and you don't feeling anything for me" I scoff lightly. "If you do then I assume that this some kind of experiment for you. If you're questioning your sexuality then I suggest that you should aim your sight slightly higher than myself"

I wasn't expecting the slap, the stinging sensation in my cheek is new as I look at Glinda who's glaring heatedly at me but I've earned after what I had said although that she would huff out her chest before stomping out of the room.

"Listen well Elphaba Thropp, what I am feeling isn't some sexual experiment and I am insult that you would insinuate as such. I know that you feel something for me but you don't want to admit it and you're being hurtful in order to protect yourself" Glinda said stepping into my personal space, caressing my cheek. "I want you to know that I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, not again. I wish that you would have a little more faith in me and I'm going prove to you that my feeling are genuine"

"Glinda I don't-"

"No, I know what I am doing and you're going to allow me to fight for your affections as I will not lose out to that hussy but it's getting quite late and I need my beauty sleep" Glinda said turning on her heels.

I stood there blinking owlishly, wondering how things turned out like this as I find myself in the middle of some love triangle with two different women that are completely opposite from each other. I must've been standing in the middle of the room long enough for the debutant to walk out in silk night gown as she presses a lingering kiss on my cheek before climbing under covers. I try to wrap my head around all of this, worrying slightly about what might happen the next day, knowing that the socialite is going to fight my former lover for my affections.

~Nicole The Dragon Rider signing off

End of ch. 10