So here I am, standing knee deep in creature infested water, probably likely to give me some kind of disease, staring at fish. It's wet, it's slimy, and something just crawled up my leg.

I smacked it off, an octopus it looked like, and it fell back into the water. The runt had long since lost interest, but stayed in his position, so the teacher would not bother him.

"Do you think this water can give us STDs?" He asked, cocking his head.

My head snapped up violently, a look of horror on my face. "Sexually Transmitted Diseases?"

"Yeah, like Herpies, that kind of stuff." He shrugged, and splashed some water on another student.

"Why, are you planning to have sex in the water?"

He grinned evilly, "Are you coming on to me?"

He got me again. He always managed to freak me out, to a point of silence. The only person who could ever freak me out like that was Bulma; that has to be some kind of learned behavior from somewhere.

"What are we suppose to be looking for?" I asked, changing the subject.

"I don't know. And I don't care. Let's go swimming." He suggested. "We could sneak off around that boulder."

I was about to ask him how he planned to get away, when he whistled shrilly. "Hey, everyone! Look at Mickey! His tide pool has an albino sea urchin in it!"

They all crowded around who I supposed to be Mickey, all at once.

The runt motioned for me to follow him. Anything to get out of the water. We slipped out easily enough, and had to squeeze through some rocks that were forced tightly together.

He led me to the beach, where he promptly took off all his clothes, and ran into the water.

"Come on!" He called. "Come swim with me!" Canum swem with mea! It sounded like, but I understood well enough.

"No thanks. I'll stay here." I sat down, crossing my legs and watched him, so he didn't drown, which he was likely to do.

Now that all of those children are far away from me now, I think I can relax. Gods, how I hate children. They are discussing, horrible creatures. That's why as my children get older, I like them a lot more.

I really don't like the runt at all. He causes me to suffer; puts things in my shoes, live things, asks me sexual questions, or makes sexual comments, so everyone thinks I'm a pervert. He put shaving cream in my cereal once; I ate most of it before he told me he put it there.

This one time in public, I was standing in front of the restaurant lady to get a reservation, getting pretty frustrated, when he came up behind me, and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Is she giving you trouble, baby?" He asked, in a sort of lisping speech that would have freaked her out, if she knew what he said. Combined with his accent, it sounded like mess, but I heard it loud and clear.

This other time, he somehow rigged the pipes that led to my bathroom, so that when I took a shower, it would cover me with purple ink. But it was weird, because the ink didn't show up for a few seconds, until the cool air hit it. It felt just like water, until I got some in my mouth. I was purple for a long time.

But in the end, I guess he has sort of grown on me. He finishes my sentences sometimes, which freaks me out.

I guess he's really the only one that understands the way I think. He knows that the life of a Saiyan is hard; most of them don't get past childhood. There were two ways to pay for what you wanted: food, or sex. Most of them time, its children that use the latter to get the first. Some of them are too young; they break under the presser and die.

I think that he understands this better then I give him credit for. There are scars on his hips.

His blood eyes look to me. He senses me staring at him. He says something.

I respond, but it comes out hoarse and unintelligible. I clear my throat, and try again. "Say again?"

"Why are you staring at me?" He asks, his back arching unconsciously. "I'm naked, ya know." Necketd, it sounded.

I nodded. "I can see that."

"Does my sexy body turn ya on?" His puts his hands behind his head, eye going half closed.

His face twisted in revulsion. "Are you ready to go home?"

"No way! We still have hours to go before we have to head home!" No waey! Hwe still 'ave hwours to go b'for hwe 'ave to 'ed home!

"So then what do you want to do?"

He paused. "Up for a round of naked tag?"

I shook my head. "No, not really. I might get a sunburn, then Bulma will know something's up."

He came closer, sitting down next to me, the sand sticking to his wet body. "Just promise me that if she ever finds out," eva feinds owt, "That you'll make it legal." Lee-gahl. An evil grin.

"Make what legal?"

His eyebrows rise suggestively. "I think ya know." Ah, instead of 'I'. He winks.

I roll my eyes. "Put some clothes on, before those kids from you're class get here and see you."

He put his arm up, flexing the tiny muscle he head. "They'd kill for a body like this," He kissed his arm. "I attract girls an' guys."

"I'm sure you do," I say dryly.

He started to put his pants on. Then he paused, pants handing half off his ass, and turned to me. "Ya dare me to kiss a boy?" Ya dar meh ta kess a bowy?

"No, not really, because I know you'll do it. Why don't you kiss," I looked around. "That crab right there." There was indeed a crab inching across the beach slowly.

His eyes followed it for a moment, before grabbing it, and putting it up to his mouth. Before he could kiss it, though, one of its pinchers grasped his upper lip.

He pulled at it, making a small 'Ahh…' sound. His lip was pulled along with it. "Vegeta, get et off!" his voice was odd now, blowing too much air as he talked.

I laughed, leaning back to watch, doing nothing.

He tugged on it again. This time, it came off, splicing his lip as it did so. Blood ran down his chin, dripping onto the sand.

He dropped it, where it fell on its back, before rolling itself over and moving on.

He didn't make a sound, only glared at me as I laughed until my sides hurt.

"That hurt!" He cried, whipping some blood off his face. It was beginning to swell.

I whipped my eye. "That was pretty funny. Come on, this place is boring."

We headed home, without signing out with the teacher. That would come back to bite me in the ass later.

At home, he told me something I had been expecting for about a year. "Hey, Vegeta?" I looked at him. "I have a date next week."

I shrugged. "So?"

"It's my first one," He paused. "What do I do?"

I thought about it for a moment. "Don't touch her unless she touches you first."

"But-"

"And don't kiss her unless she moves in to kiss you,"

"It's not-"

"Let me finish." I interrupted. "Don't go somewhere too expensive, or she might think you have a ton of money and mooch off you forever. And-"

"Stop!" He cried, grabbing my shoulder. "I'm not going on a date with a girl."

I blinked slowly, but I knew this day would come.

He sighed. "His name's Chili."

"Chili?" I asked, rising an eyebrow. "So you're gay?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe." A pause. "I guess if anything, I'm bi."

"Bisexual?"

"No, bilingual." Sarcasm with a roll of his eyes. "Yes, bisexual. But don't tell mum, I want to tell her myself."

"She's going to hit the roof." I said, and he nodded in agreement. I paused. "Is he hot?"

He grinned. "Yeah. Sexy too." He thought for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "Are ya okay with that?"

I shrugged. "Do what you want, kid, I'm not you're father."

"But if you were?"

I shrugged again. "Even if you were my kid, I wouldn't stop you. The law, not that I abide by it, never required me to curve your choice of sexuality. That's just too much work." I leaned back. "I don't do work."

"Yeah," He sighed. "I know."

"Hungry?"

"Yeah!"

"Are you up for…"

"Cereal?" He nodded before I got a chance to finish. "Yep, sounds good." He got up to get it.

"Bring me back some…"

"Coco Pebbles. I know. Should I get you a silver spoon as well your majesty?"

"Sounds good to me, peasant. And while you're at it, bring me some royal toast." I said jokingly. I grabbed for the remote.

"Please, zenoti, get your own!" He cried, and snapped his fingers.

Zenoti was Saiyan slang that was close enough to 'Whore'.

"What the hell?" I cried, "I ask for toast and then the whole majesty thing falls apart?" By now, I'm no my feet.

He sees the mess he's made, and runs off much faster then I thought he would, screaming.

"Get back here, ya ass!" I chased him for over three hours before I got too hungry to continue.

We called a truce until after we ate something, before the chase was back on.

Bulma finally came home, and after keeping away from me long enough, he hid behind her.

"What's going on!" she cried.

"He called me a whore!"

"He called me an ass!"

"You are!" I said back.

She put her hands up. "Let's just say you're both whores, and you're both asses!"

I put my fist down, and he stood up.

"I guess I could live with that." He said with a shrug. I nodded in agreement. "By the way mom, I'm bisexual. G'night!" He ran off toe h stairs before she could reply.