What's up everyone?!? New Chapter is up-p. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE—Loved the last chapter because it was very random, but hey aren't all my chapters like that? Well, maybe not the chapter wherein Sasuke and Sa—But never mind that! Read this totally random chapter that takes Sasuke and Sakura WAAAAAAAAAAAAY BACK—if you know what I mean.
"WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!"
-FLAILING-
-FALLING-
-THUMP-
"Ow." She groaned as she rubbed her soar rump. "What the fuck was that?!?"
WAIT! Don't close the tab or window, whatever you're using, yet! This isn't what it sounds like—if you know what I mean. *wags suggestive brow*…OkaaaaaaaY…I'll just shut up now and you WILL continue reading, okay?
"WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The sentence echoed through the room and into your ears, like that ringing sound you hear when it's really, really quiet—ah, the sound of silence; how ironic.
"What the fuck?!?" She cussed as she got up from her comfy—sense the sarcasm—seat on the floor. She looked around the room trying to uncover the inruder, only to find…THERE WAS NONE! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! OH, THE HORROR! THERE WAS NO FREAKING INTRUDER, DAMNIT! DUN, DUN, DUUUUN!!!!! In which Sakura came to a conclusion that—
"It's a freakin' ghost!!!" And now begins Sakura's rant. "HOLY CRAP!!! I HAVE BEEN INFLUENCED BY THE UCHIHA CURSE!!! HIS ANCESTORS HAVE COME UPON ME TO HAUNT THE LIVING HELL THAT IS MY LIFE! OH, HOLY LORD, GOD OF EVERYTHING GOOD AND MAGNIFICENT, GOD OF POWER AND LIGHT, HAVE MERCY ON ME AND SOULS OF MY ANCESTORS! MAY I NOT BRING THE HARUNO NAME TO SHAME—hey, that rhymed—MAY YOUR EVERLASTING LOVE AND LIGHT BE MY GUIDE AND WISDOM IN ME INSIPID LIFE!!!!!!" Sakura fell to the floor, again, just on purpose the time. She was on hands and knees hiding her shameful face from the Lord.
And then there was a cracking sound, which Sakura thought was the start of her mercy. Then the room was filled with laughter; so called ghost cracked up—haha. Get it? No? You don't? uh… LAUGHED I SAY!
"YOU ARE HILARIOUS, HARUNO! YOU ARE PERFECT FOR THAT HUMORLESS PIECE OF MEAT I CALL MY BROTHER!" The unknown voice boomed again.
"WHAT THE HELL, ITACHI?!?" She pulled at her hair as she shrieked into that damn electronic device, the intercom.
"Hey there, imouto-chan!—"
"The hell, Itachi?!?" The Uchiha paid no heed to this.
"Mom said that I should wake you two up 'coz you're gonna' be late for school…" He said in a sing song voice. "At first I was going to knock on your doors and wake you up manually, but where's the fun in that? So I decided to use this thing; isn't it cool?!?"
"…"
"I was going to wake otouto first, but, ho ho ho, look who I found in his room! I didn't know my little sis and little bro were into that, y'know—I made a rhymie-rhyme!!"
"…"
"I!-mouto and Oh!-touto like to plaaay love games. In their little room, they play and play until the other couldn't walk for a day!" He chanted like it was some nursery rhyme. "Oooooh, that sounded like incest! I read that on , dontcha know. Especially when it's M rated. Ah, the explicitness!"
"Itachi, you pain in the ass—"
"You do know you're like a sister to me, right? Like the little sister that helps me destroy Sasuke's life, which I will never have. 'Coz, y'know, my mom is in her forties and her uterus must be dusty and old, right?" This was getting waaaaaaay too off topic.
"Hmmm…Do you think cobwebs could grow in there? Weird. Oh, Sakura! Do you think gay dudes get turned on seeing their own wieners?"
"Itachi…" Sakura growled.
"I think they do…'Coz I have this friend, Deidara—you know him right?—I asked him the same question and he got mad at me shouting that he isn't gay and I was like, "REALLY?!? YOU AREN'T?!? YOU COULD'VE FOOLED ME!!! FROM BEHIND YOU LOOK LIKE THAT PORN STAR!!! And I have to tell you, dude—"
"I'm a girl."
"—dudette, he really does look like that Tsunade person—"
"Tsunade is our principal, you idiot.
"She is?!? Lucky you guys, am I right or am I right?"
"Yes, Itachi, you are right." Sakura sighed and just decided to play along.
"She's the one with the rack, ri—"
"You do know they could hear you from downstairs."
"Racket—I meant racket." Itachi nervously chuckled.
"UCHIHA ITACHI!!! COME DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT!!!" A woman's voice suddenly boomed. Was this the same annoying woman she was "talking" to yesterday?
"HOW DARE YOU CALL MY UTERUS DUSTY AND OLD!!! THAT'S WHERE YOU CAME FROM!!!"
"Actually, mom, I came from the hands of God and—"
"THE HANDS OF GOD?!? YOU READ PORN!!! IS THAT SO HOLY?!?"
"Good job by the way, son."
"FUGAKU?!?"
"What? He's taking the right path."
"THIS IS NO TIME FOR PRAISE!!!"
"Why not? I'm not the one with the dusty old uterus." Silly, silly Fugaku.
She hummed the Mission Impossible theme…snooping around the mansion in her pajamas. Then she slowly tiptoed around the corner, thinking something was there. She immediately changed to the Pink Panther Background music and slowly peered over her shoulder. Was someone following her? I think not.
She almost reached the corner and after a few steps more, she jumped out.
"AA-HAAH!" She pointed. No one was there…no one except the…nope, nada, no one. Sakura huffed and stomped her feet.
"SA-SU-KE!!!" She shouted her partner's name pronouncing each syllable, y'know, like SA-SU-KE—pronouncing the SU and all—'coz you know that sounds cute like that.
"WHERE ARE YOU, SWEETIE?!?" Sakura hollered just like Mikoto.
"OH WHERE, OH WHERE COULD THAT DOUCHEBAG HAVE GONE? OH WHERE, OH WHERE COULD HE BE?" Sakura started to sing. "…FROM HIS ROOM TO MY ROOM, FROM THE KITCHEN OR PORCH. OH WHERE, OH WHERE COULD HE BE?
Oh Sakura, you and your brain.
"UCHIHA FUCKING SASUKE, I AM SCREAMING MY FUCKING LUNGS OUT; I COULD DIE OF LACK OF OXYGEN JUST LOOKING FOR YOU!!!" Sakura huffed and fell to her knees…again. She spent about and hour and a half looking for him and frankly she was getting worried.
'What if he got captured by aliens?!?'
'Or, or! What if he left for school without you!'
'No way in hell would he do that!!!...Would he?'
"AAAAAAArgh!" She pulled a her hair and hit her head repeatedly on the floor. And after five minutes of that, she looked up at the ceiling and started to shout.
"TRAFFIC REPORT: IT'S EIGHT O'-FREAKIN'-CLOCK IN THE MORNING; EVERYONE LEFT THE HOUSE AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!!! CALL ME BACK LATER AT 5, ONLY GUESS WHAT? THEY'RE GOING THE OTHER FUCKING WAY!!! WEATHER FORECAST: IT'S FREAKING SUNNY AND BRIGHT, THE WEATHER THAT YOU DESPISE!!! STOCKS ARE DOWN AND THE HOLE IN THE OZONE LAYER IS GETTING LARGER!!!" Sakura paused for a moment as she caught her breath and choked a little. "YES, THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS IN THIS FUCKED UP WORLD THAT WOULD GIVE YOU A LOT OF DAMN REASONS TO DISAPPEAR, BUT YOUR PMS-ING PARTNER IS WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU!!! GIVE ME A SIGN YOU'RE NOT DEAD!!!" Sakura shouted in desperation. And everything she was saying was true. It was all fucking true. She WAS worried sick about him and the ozone layer's hole DID get bigger.
"Uchiha, answer me." She growled to herself, clenching a fist full of her pink locks. She shut her eyes tight and gritted her teeth. Why was she making a big deal out of this; it's just Sasuke.
Just then, a loud thumping noise came from above her.
"What the hell?" She looked up.
"SAKURA-CHAN!!!" She looked to her left. There was Mikoto with a worried expression on her face. So Sakura was wrong about the everyone leaving the house thing.
"Are you okay, Sakura-chan? What are you doing in just your PJs?!? You were looking for my Sasu-chan, ne? Ooooh, what're you two up to? You're still too young for that!" Sakura tuned the rest out.
'Lord, when will she stop talking? I need to find that freakin' Uchiha.'
Sakura knew she meant well, but…C'MON!!! When will she shut her trap?!?
"Well, carry on with what you were doing—" She just talks and talks and talks with her blahblahblahblahBLAH! It reminds her of Itachi. UGH…The traits this woman gives."—LOOKING FOR MY SASUKE!!! But do hurry or you'll be late for school—OH! You're already late for school! Just because of Sasuke, too! Don't worry, Sakura-chan, I'll write a letter explaining your absence. When you find him, tell him that he's in trouble…just like his brother and father. Men, they're too troublesome." Now she sounds like Shikamaru. "NOW, GO ON BACK TO PLAYING KINKY HIDE AND SEEK WITH MY SASUKE!!!"
Mikoto paid no heed to Sakura's bewildered expression. Yup, she was definitely her sons' mother.
"Remember to use protection!!!" Sakura choked on her spit. Say whaaaat?!?
She quickly regained composure as that pounding noise lit a fire within her and she became more determined to get Sasuke back (XD). Cue eye of the tiger theme.
The pounding got softer; it was getting farther. The noise was leading her somewhere.
"Everything seemed black and white as I followed the noise to the unknown wing of the mansion. The hall looked as if it was getting smaller…narrower." Sakura started narrating…again. She sounded like one of those voice overs in old crime shows. "Everything was quiet, too quiet. Where did that sound go?" I have nothing to do…Sakura's narrating anyway…
"Silence….except for my obvious voice overs and the Alfred Hitchcock theme—Funeral March of a Marionette—Where are you strange noise?" Sakura looked up. The pounding came back and now Sakura just listened.
-THUMP-THUUUMP-THUUUMP- PAUSE.
-THUUUMP-PAUSE.
-THUMP-THUMP-THUUUMP-THUMP- PAUSE.
But now it seemed as though—
"It seemed as though the thumps are in a pattern, stopping at different intervals and lengths..." Sakura tapped a finger to her chin. "…just like a code, like-like…MORSE CODE!" Yeah, I know. Sakura memorized Morse code. Creepy, right? I thought so. But she was into that MacGyver stuff; so don't blame her. She even wrote a letter to him.
Dear MacGyver,
My…uh…friend, Uchiha Sasuke, is no where to be found. I am wor—deeply concerned about him—I mean his whereabouts. Attached to this letter is a paper clip and a piece of string I hope you can find him.
From,
Sakura
Yeah, that's how it went…
"Dot, dash, dash-W, dash-T, dot, dot, dash, dot-F…WTF. That thing up there sure can curse." Sakura stopped narrating and turned of her phone as she followed the thumps once more.
She reached a brown door and reached for the shiny gold knob as her hands trembled. The thumps were getting faster…like they were urging her to go on. With a click, the door opened and revealed a flight of stairs leading her to another door identical to this one. She assumed it was the attic.
'Sakura, whatever shit your getting yourself into, remember you did it for the bastard…after all of this you will go to the mall and shop all your stress away…with Sasuke's money…if I could only find that bastard…go to your happy place Sakura, go to your happy place.'
-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-
The thumps interrupted her thoughts. She calmed down.
'Sing a song, Sakura; sing a song. A, B, C, D, E, F, G—'
She exhaled.
'—H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P—'
She turned the knob slowly and a slight crack in the door appeared.
'Q, R, S, T, U—'
"UCHIHA!!!" She tackled him to the floor. The fell with an "oof."
"Whoa. Nice to see you, too, Sakura." He hugged her back and chuckled.
"Did ya' miss me, Sakura-chan?" He mocked her and she didn't care. She just hugged him tighter.
Sakura snapped out of that happy illusion and soon turned enraged.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THE EFFIN' ATTIC?!?" She shouted as she let go of him.
"I'll tell you later; we just need to get out of—"
-SLAM-
He sighed. "—here."
He slumped onto the floor, his back facing the door.
"Well?" Sakura tapped her foot. "Care to explain?"
"The door is locked from the outside."
"WHAT?!?" Sakura freaked. "WHO THE HELL DESIGNS A DOOR TO BE LOCKED FROM THE OUTSIDE?!?"
"It's an old house." He grunted.
"Why are you here anyway?" She squatted next to him and huffed loudly.
Sasuke mumbled something.
"What'd you say?"
"You were…"
"I was what?"
"YOU WERE HOGGING THE BLANKET." Sasuke pouted.
Sakura tried to stifle a giggle, but, y'know, being Sakura, she laughed.
"It's not funny, Haruno." Sasuke grumbled.
"You're right, Sasuke…" She calmed down. "It's pathetic!!!!" And she laughed again.
"HOW THE HELL IS ME ALMOST DYING FROM HYPOTHERMIA SO FREAKING HILARIOUS?!?"
"You're exaggerating, Sasuke." She deadpanned.
"NO, I'M NOT!!! I HAD LOW BODY TEMPERATURE AND I WAS DROWSY AND –AND I TRIPPED FIVE TIMES COMING UP HERE! FIVE TIMES!!!" He glared at Sakura's giggling form.
"WHAT THE HELL'S SO FUNNY?!?"
"You, you idiot!" Sasuke raised a brow at her.
"In what way is my long suffering funny to you?" His curious gaze soon turned into a glare.
"Awww, Saus-chan's mad! Wanna' blanket, Sasu-chan???" Sakura laughed some more.
"I could've died." He mumbled.
"No, you wouldn't! Uchiha's are strong, ne?" Sasuke nodded. She tried to make him feel better 'coz, I mean, C'MON! The guy was stuck in the attic trying to find a blanket a whole night; he at least deserves some love.
"And I wouldn't want my partner to die because of me, right? Because that would make me feel all guilty!" She smiled. "And besides, I'd miss you too much." She gave him a warm smile and Sasuke smirked.
"You'd miss me, huh?" His was arrogance getting the better of him.
"Gloat while you can; I don't say that to just anyone, y'know."
"Don't worry, Sakura-chan, I would've missed you too." His smirk grew wider at the red tint adorning her cheeks.
"Che. Whatever." She crossed her arms. "C'MON! LET'S GO EXPLORING!"
"Why?"
"Would you rather us sitting here, talking, having deep intimate moments?" She shuddered.
"The intimate moments part doesn't really bother me." He smirks.
"Ew, Sasuke, just…ew." She proceeded walking to a dusty old chest in the far corner of the large room.
Sakura plopped infront of the chest with Sasuke squatting beside her. She opened the chest and found small plastic covered books. She assumed they were picture albums due to the labels on them.
"Sasuke!!!"
"Sakura, stop shouting; I'm right beside you."
"Oh, sorry." She took one album out labeled 'Baby Sasu-chan.'
"Your mom labeled these, didn't she?" Sakura asked.
"Do you have to ask?"
Sakura flipped through the pages. One with Sasuke naked—AS A BABY, PERVERTS! The other Sasuke crying as a younger Itachi held a panda plushie above the little one's head. The next one caught her attention…it was Sasuke squatting down in a tree house with a girl…with pink hair.
"Is that…"
"I think it is…"
"I KNEW YOU WHEN I WAS A KID?!?" They shouted—well, Sakura shouted, Sasuke just asked in bewilderment—in unison.
"Sasuke, Sasuke!" A little pink haired girl ran to him as she waved.
"What do you want, Sakura?"
"Who was that girl you were talking to?"
"She was my—"
"Oh. OH. KNOCK, KNOCK!"
"*sigh* Who's there?"
"I'LL ASK ALL THE QUESTIONS!!!"
Sakura giggled. "I so rocked as a kid."
"You were an idiot, much like how you are now."
"That's mean!" She pouted.
"See what I mean?"
Sakura just stuck a tongue at him. She kept flipping through pages. She smiled at one photo—Sakura was holding her strawberry ice cream, giggling, while Sasuke tried to reach the pink dairy product Sakura dabbed on his nose with his tongue.
"You were soo stupid." Which earned a whack to the head.
"Ow!" Sakura rubbed her soar head as Sasuke stole the book from her.
They were on the last page, which was very intriguing to the young Uchiha.
"Sakura…"
"What?"
"We took a bath together."
"WHAT?!?" Sakura shouted. "Lemme' see that!" There sitting in a bathtub filled with bubbles was Sakura and Sasuke hugging each other, nakey.
"I can't believe I agreed to that."
"I can't believe I couldn't remember any of that."
"Y'know, if we took a bath together now—"
"No, Sasuke. Just no."
"I'm just saying it's like one of those get rich quick schemes and we could get Ita—"
"I said no, Sasuke." Sakura sighed.
And Sasuke pouted.
"Okay."
Thanks for reading! I'm sorry I updated this later than my usual weekly updates. I had a little writer's block and was starting to doubt the outcome again…don't worry I promise I won't discontinue this one.
Hello, hello, hello. Hello, how do you do? I'm glad to see you! Please, will you review?
REVIEW DAMNIT!