A/n- Er. So, the last update was June 8th, 2014. Almost two years ago. I - didn't mean for this to happen, honestly. I always had a bit of trouble updating, though. Alright, maybe a lot. I can't even promise that I'll update soon. But after reading halfway through Apprentice's Quest I remembered that I still had this fanfic to finish. But i had plans to rewrite this completely. So, as the readers, we've got two options:
1) I finish this fanfic (no matter how slow I update) and then I restart it. This would mean that you get the complete story and have a rough idea what the remake would be like. (It also means not waiting for the remake if you're content with this version.)
2) I completely ditch this version of the fanfic and restart it, but I'll likely write chunks at a time (three chapters-ish) before uploading a new chapter and might take longer because I'd upload longer chapters but with longer gaps in between. (This is debatable, actually.) This would likely mean that the chapters would be properly linear and have less plotholes.
When/if I rewrite this, it is likely to be almost completely different. Please keep that in mind. (Also, depending on how fast I can write or remember this, the uploading between each chapter might be the same. Although I'll try to upload a chapter per week, and with school letting out soon, that might not be too hard.)
Then there's the matter on if/when I update this again: should I upload it as a separate fanfiction or upload it here, after the original fanfiction?
Also, this chapter is specially dedicated to anybody who had lasted this long. Cheers.
"I know. That's one reason why I chose you. I don't want a cat who thinks she deserves power. I want a cat who will help me make our Clan strong again when we reach our new home." -Onestar to Ashfoot, Starlight.
Leafpool awoke to the sound of distant thunder. She jolts, paws reaching out and knocking into Mistpaw's sleek body. The apprentice let out a quick grumble before rolling onto her other side, folding her body even tighter around herself. Her nose twitched, the scent of a brewing storm touching her face. She lumbers to her paws, stepping over the slumbering ShadowClanners.
As soon as she steps out of the medicine cat den, she arches her back and curls her toes. She could see a sliver of the sun peek through the dark haze of the storm clouds. "Looks like we're going to get rain tonight," comes a sleepy rasp from beside her. Leafpool twitches her whiskers and looks over at Tawnypelt, who was shaking the sleep from her pelt, though her eyes remained half-lidded and her jaws parted with a quick yawn.
Leafpool blinks in surprise before dipping her head in greeting. "Good morning, Tawnypelt," she greets the tortoiseshell.
The former ThunderClan purrs in response, "Yes. Yes. Good morning - although it doesn't look that great, honestly. I think StarClan should have willed the storm away. Not all of us are RiverClan cats, after all." Leafpool purrs in amusement.
"StarClan can't control the weather," she lets out a short laugh in amusement. The thought alone made her insides warm with humor - fortunately, if that was the case, StarClan would use that power with benevolence.
The dark she-cat rolls her eyes fondly. "Some days, I wish they do." She frowns suddenly, surveying the camp. "Are you doing anything important today?" Her ears swivel behind her as another warrior advances out of the warriors' den, slopping padding out and wincing at how bright it must have been.
The brown tabby shook her head thoroughly, already frowning, "No. I don't often have plans after gatherings. Did you have something in mind?" She watches Tawnypelt, who looks back over at her with an unreadable look in her eyes.
Tawnypelt nods, sniffing with indignation, "Well, perhaps. A couple other ShadowClanners and I are tasked with dawn patrol; you could join us, if you'd like. Search for herbs, if not just to stretch your limbs." She smiles kindly and warmth spread through Leafpool's chest at the sight. "Besides, we former ThunderClanners have to stay together, don't we?"
Leafpool frowns at the offer. She recognises that light in Tawnypelt's eyes - it was something almost like loneliness. Leafpool couldn't blame her - she hadn't seen much of the dappled molly much, even though she had promised to visit her often. Tawnypelt must have yearned for news about her former Clanmates, granted most of the cats she knew growing up was now in the elders' den, and when Leafpool had came, they barely spent any time together. Perhaps this opportunity would allow for them to grow closer, in the least. "Alright," she meows, feeling her shoulders relax. "On the dawn patrol you said?" Tawnypelt nods quickly, her expression going lax and pleased, shoulders sagging as if Leafpool's confirmation only eased her worries. "Who else is going on it?"
Tawnypelt flicks her tail, nudging the younger she-cat with her own shoulder to start towards the entrance. They sidestep the wetter parts of the mud, although the tabby could already feel it squish between her pads. Hopefully, she wouldn't have to clean any of it out of her pelt. She shakes one of her paws off, accidentally splashing Tawnypelt, who sends her an unamused glance. "Hmm," Tawnypelt considers, sparing a bright-eyed glance over her shoulder. She promptly sits down in an dryer area, beckoning the medicine cat to do the same. She eases her paws and rolls a kink from her shoulder before she replies, "Sparrowpaw, Smokefoot, and Ivytail will be joining us." She twitches her whiskers, flicking her gaze back to Leafpool. "That makes us a patrol of five."
Leafpool nods, "Alright. Are we just checking the borders?" She remembers vaguely being woken up at dawn patrol a couple times when she had been a warrior, but she had been incompetent then - it was hard for her to to even attempt warriors' duties; she had always known that her paws were destined to follow a medicine cat's. Tawnypelt nods, and she finds herself relaxing. She could handle border patrols - unlike hunting patrols. Her hunter's crouch was awful, and she felt humiliated ever time she attempted it. "Are we to leave soon?"
Tawnypelt licks her paw and drags it across her muzzle, "Yes." She flicks her ears again, glancing over Leafpool's shoulder. "See? There's Ivytail and Smokefoot right now." Smokefoot visibly looked tired - his black fur was matted and his dark amber eyes were half-closed. He tracked up mud as he moved sluggishly towards the older warrior.
"Ivytail is gonna show up soon," he sighs, voice groggy and eyes blinking one at a time before settling on closed. "She's, uh, making dirt." He didn't speak as if he was uncomfortable, rather, as if he was trying to think things over. "Mhh." Tawnypelt snorts in amusement and the large tom stiffens, jolting awake and peeking around at his surroundings, realizing that he had been swaying on his paws. "Oh. Um. Mistpaw, was it?" He looks dazed and completely out of it that Leafpool could only twitch in sympathy.
"No," Tawnypelt seems to have no patience, however, and frowns. "It's Sparrowpaw, not Mistpaw."
"They're littermates, aren't they?" Leafpool meows, voice going quieter when she whispers to the dappled she-cat. Tawnypelt stares at her from the corner of her eyes.
"Yes, along with Dewpaw," she nods, then addresses Smokefoot. "If you don't mind, I'd like for us to finish this dawn patrol - then you can sleep all you'd like." Smokefoot blinks in surprise, then nods almost vigorously. "Remember, the sooner you get back the sooner you can sleep again!" she calls after the dark-pelted tom's retreating form. She lets out a deep sigh when the tom disappears into the apprentice's den, presumably to rouse the apprentice from his sleep.
"Are you enjoying ShadowClan, Leafpool?" the tabby starts at the question, feeling her fur quiver with the intensity in the older she-cat's gaze. She was nothing short of unkind, and her features were free of judgement. She was only asking Leafpool the question, and probably assessing the answer.
"Ah. Yes, I think so. It's been surprisingly friendly - aside from when I was tasked with apprentice duties, anyways." Leafpool nods slowly, almost hesitantly. It feels almost wrong to say that about ShadowClan - like she's placed all of her trust with her new home and had completely disregarded her birth Clan. But it doesn't feel like she's lying, like she's placing a paw in her mouth either and being forced to say - instead, it feels right. She can't explain why she feels this way, though, why she no longer anticipated the return to her own Clan and why she looked at the ShadowClanners the way that she does, how tenderly she treats their wounds. She feels welcomed here, almost, and that's what scares her - that her own Clan's lack of faith in her was another Clan's benefit. What if she didn't want to go home?
Tawnypelt chuckles and Leafpool is snapped quickly back to attention. "Good to hear. Although I wouldn't be surprised if it had to do with a certain somebody." Leafpool's ears prick, and for a moment, she's horribly confused, and her expression must have shown it because Tawnypelt blinks at her, seeming to understand and is quick to change the topic. Leafpool can't help but wonder why Tawnypelt would imply that. Was she talking about herself, perhaps? "Nevermind... If you need any help - let me know, alright?" Leafpool nods in agreement, almost slowly. The other amber-eyed she-cat flicks her gaze over towards the den, frowning. "What's taking them so long?"
Leafpool offers a quick roll of her shoulders as a response and they pad over towards the apprentices' den. The springy moss that overhung across the top of the entrance grazes across the back of their heads, almost obscuring their view until they took a couple paw steps inside. Tawnypelt almost immediately mreows in laughter. Smokefoot had his head pressed snugly into Sparrowpaw's flank, with the smaller tom pressing his tail into the warrior's shoulder. They looked decidedly comfortable, so Leafpool felt ashamed when she nudged the small tabby tom. He shifts, then moves his weight, getting to his paws dazedly. "I'm awake, ma," he utters, shuddering as he moves away from Smokefoot's body heat. Sparrowpaw blinks at the two older she-cats in surprise before his dark gaze morphs into one of confusion. "I - … is it my sisters? Did something happen to them?"
Leafpool blinks in surprise, feeling uneasy at how that was the first question to leave the tom's mouth. He looked increasingly worried at their stunned silence, so the tabby placed her tail along the warrior apprentice's shoulder, hoping to ease his discomfort and worry. "No, nothing of the sort. You don't need to worry, young one." He visibly relaxes, shoulders sagging. He looks about ready to curl up into his nest again, but instead he sits down on his haunches, exhaling quickly in a quick rush of air.
"If it's not my sisters, what is it?" he doesn't sound disrespectful, only tired. He glances over at Smokefoot, who only took a shuddering breath and rubbed his nose further into the apprentice's nest, where surely there was lingering warmth. Leafpool almost felt inclined to nose her way inside the nest, too. "…And why is Smokefoot in my nest?" He sounds almost amused, his voice cracking with drowsiness.
"I think he fell asleep trying to wake you up," Tawnypelt meows, perplexed but not outraged. She gently turns to the younger cat, nudging him with her flank to warrant his attention. "Remember, you both have dawn patrol duties today." Her voice had grown stronger, and she put more pressure behind each individual word, but there is nothing unkind in her words. Sparrowpaw blinks up at her groggily, before giving a swift kick to the black tom's flank.
"That's not fair," the tom says, but he sounds resigned as he nudges Smokefoot's face until the tom sleepily gets to his paws as well. "I was at the gathering last night - I'm tired." He still gets to his paws and acts as a support for Smokefoot until the tom settles.
"That's the way of Clan life," Tawnypelt meows, sounding almost unimpressed when she continues, "But if you'd rather become a kittypet, that's all nice and well." There's nothing venomous about her tone, nothing to indicate ill will towards the Twoleg owned cats, but there's something almost sad about the way she spoke those words. Leafpool thinks briefly back to Cody, the young she-cat who had been amazed at Clan life but hadn't figured that it suited her. She idly wondered how the other tabby was doing; Leafpool hoped that she was well.
"I wouldn't have to fight any more dark forest battles if that was the case," Sparrowpaw meows, eyes dark and haunted. Leafpool twitches in sympathy. "But, no thanks. My place is here, with ShadowClan, as it always will be." He spares a glance towards the medicine cat then, as if insinuating something, but Leafpool dismisses it quickly.
"Good," Smokefoot sounds more awake now, and he's long since leaned away from Sparrowpaw, "Kittypets - well, they just don't hunt for their own food. That's just not right." Tawnypelt nods in agreement, and Leafpool feels only slight unease at their comments. Her father was once a kittypet, after all.
"Not all kitty pets are bad," she advises, and they all blink at her. Smokefoot is quick to dismiss her comment, but it doesn't look like he's solidly agreeing or disagreeing. Tawnypelt settles her tail along Leafpool's flank.
"Of course, that's not what we meant at all," she says, and slowly the tabby relaxes. Tawnypelt smiles almost nervously, before jerking her head towards the entrance. "Now, if you all don't mind, we should really start heading out." Sparrowpaw yawns as a response and Smokefoot nods, slightly groggily but he manages to saunter through the overhanging moss easily enough without stumbling. When Tawnypelt leaves, Leafpool steps after her, careful not to step on any cat's stray paws.
For the first part of the patrol, just when Leafpool could make out the dull haze of yellow along the horizon, it had been fairly quiet, aside from Sparrowpaw and Smokefoot's quick remarks to each other. "They're like a bunch of kits," Tawnypelt meows, exasperated but not willing to split them up. Leafpool could only nod in agreement and smile fondly at them. They reminded her of her life back in ThunderClan, when she would see Hollyleaf and Lionblaze snark at each other, always trying to outmatch the other and Jayfeather angrily telling them to put their tails in their mouths. Of course, they had all been kits, then, so their behaviour was justified. Leafpool's smile settles off of her face gradually and she feels an awful twinge in her stomach. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," she tells Sparrowpaw, who stares at her with a unconvinced frown. The pale light washes over him, making him look almost grey. She tries for a convincing smile, but she's sure that it doesn't quite reach her eyes. He shakes his head at her, muttering lowly under his breath, but for some reason, she's sure that he doesn't mean anything ill-conceived towards her.
She feels Smokefoot and Tawnypelt's gazes on her, but she doesn't dare spare a glance at them. "You look tired, that's all he meant," Tawnypelt is quick to reassure her, and Smokefoot, having overheard, snorts in response. The tortoiseshell shoots him a dark look but the black tom shrugs it off nonchalantly. Tawnypelt sighs, and shakes her head, "Funny, isn't it? They still act immature, even for their ages. Sparrowpaw is probably ready for his warriors' ceremony but even he still acts like this sometimes." She twitches her whiskers, glancing over at Leafpool, "Although I think you could do with some lessons as well - enough of our medicine cats have been slain in battle for us to worry for their safety. You should learn some battle moves; I could help you." There's an amused glint in her eyes, "Or Blackstar."
Leafpool lets out a quick rush of air, completely missing the older she-cat's teasing tone, "Or Dawnpelt." She hadn't exactly been on the best of terms with the cream-pelted she-cat, but perhaps the she-cat could get her pent up anger out that way. There was a fierce tingling in her paws as the full implication of what Tawnypelt hit her - she could be taught on how to be a warrior. ThunderClan hadn't offered her the option before - and surely, Tawnypelt meant defensive moves but … this could help her, it really could. She could feel her chest swell with affection for the surrogate Clan.
"I think that'd be great," she whispers and Tawnypelt smiles at her. They settle into a comfortable silence until the other warrior breaks it.
"Sparrowpaw, what can you scent?" Smokefoot meows from where he's flanking on the other side of the apprentice. The bulky brown cat sighs, exasperated, but willing to humour the older warrior. He closes his eyes, surprisingly well-balanced as he keeps padding forward, nose tipped towards the sky. He doesn't wince when the first drops of the storm begins to fall.
"Rain, mostly, and frogs," he wrinkles his nose, taking a deep breath while they trailed along the border of the division line between ThunderClan and ShadowClan. "Lots of moss - it smells really moist, and .." he pauses, "It smells like ThunderClan cats have crossed the border." Sparrowpaw sighs, and it's as if his lack of sleep has caught up with him again because he sounds tired once more. He blinks over at Leafpool, "Did you ask them to bring you any herbs by chance?" There's nothing accusing in his voice, just a quiet resignation.
She frowns, startled, "No." Her stomach lurches with unease.
He shakes his head, "Didn't think so; thought to give you the benefit of the doubt but.." He sighs, staring at his paws. "Looks like what Bramblestar said last gathering was a complete lie." He doesn't look up at Leafpool when he adds, "No offence."
"None taken," she sighs, exhaling quickly. Confusion addles through her brain - she doesn't know why a patrol of ThunderClan cats would cross the border. Her stomach twinges with discomfort. Was her Clan really so willing to go back against their word? Her previous elation dies down in her throat and she stares angrily at her paws. She can't explain the heavy betrayal that fit so snugly in her lungs - why would they even tempt the other Clan into a battle by daring to cross the border?
She leaps to quick conclusions in her mind, trying to figure it out, before it settles heavily in her gut like a stone: Squirrelflight was giving birth. Panic surged through Leafpool and she took a quick step forward. "I have to go," she told the tortoiseshell, watching the she-cat's amber eyes narrow in confusion. "It's my sister - I know it is."
Unease morphed Tawnypelt's expression before realization set in, "Leafpool, wait - you can't just leave, even if it is for her." She took a step forward and the other two cats quickly took position on either side of her. "ThunderClan isn't your home anymore - you can't just traipse across the border whenever you please. They could consider this an act of war." She frowns, trying to reassure the tabby by placing her paw atop of Leafpool's. "I hardly think that's it, anyways. Why would ThunderClan send a patrol into our territory?" For a brief moment, Leafpool felt affection run through her at Tawnypelt's insistence that this was the medicine cat's territory too. "They would have waited at the border, or we would have came across them. This is the first time we've scented them - see? Can't you smell it? The scent ends here. They were trespassing, Leafpool. Nothing more."
"But what if it is my sister? You'd do the same for Bramblestar, wouldn't you?" she whispers and something in Tawnypelt's gaze softens.
"Yes, but I didn't expect him to visit me when I was giving birth," Tawnypelt meows, sounding sad and forlorn but still trying to soothe the medicine cat. Leafpool had already made up her mind.
"I'm sorry, but I promised her," she explains, shaking her head against the rain, and she turns. Surprisingly, Sparrowpaw steps aside, leaving her enough room to pass by him. "Please, tell Mistpaw that I'll be back. That's a promise." Tawnypelt only stared after her as she padded away, eagerness and panic making her paws feel as though she was running across the whole forest. Dampness sunk her paws down, but she only picked up the pace, added more frenzy to her pawsteps. The rain that poured down on her weighed her down, but she didn't slow down.
It feels like she's spent ages in the territory that once felt familiar to her before her hope begins to wane. Leafpool feels her paws skid in the mud, feels the distant rumble of thunder and the fierce smattering of raindrops along her pelt. The winds picked up, slashing in her face. "She's long since overdue," she tells herself, panic settling her chest alight. She takes a shaky breath, blinking the moisture from her eyes. "She's older now, same as me - she might not…" She stops herself, feels her teeth chatter in the cold. She couldn't bear the thought of her sister not making it through the kitting, that she might be endangered just as Brightheart had been. "StarClan, please," she begs the open air, feeling her pads sink into the mud and dampen her legs, but she doesn't relent.
"Leafpool?" comes a startled meow, and she jerks her head up, feeling relief pour through her. Thank you, StarClan. Mousewhisker blinks at her, looking clearly startled. Birchfall and Cinderheart flanked either side of him, their whiskers twitching and surprise touching the corners of their eyes. Cinderheart looked almost uncomfortable, her thick fur matting to her body, blue eyes wide and considering. For a moment, Leafpool is reminded of her old mentor before the feeling disappears.
"We were actually just going to come get you, if we could -" Birchfall says, taking a step forward then seemingly chooses to wrinkle his nose at the smell rising from her. ShadowClan's scent, she realizes, when the trio shares a look. "But it seems as if you had known…" His tone turned almost suspicious but she couldn't tell them about what she felt with her sister.
"It's Squirrelflight, isn't it?" Leafpool takes a quick gulp of air and Cinderheart is the one who nods. The grey she-cat almost seems thankful that Leafpool seems to have pieced it together, although she is one of the ones who openly stares at her with suspicion glinting in her eyes.
"That's right, she said that you told her that you'd be with her," the tabby meows, shaking her head from the downpour that drenched her fur. She's shaking, snivelling and trying not to sneeze, if the facial expression that she is making is anything to go by.
"I know," Leafpool nods, quickly, and takes a step towards them. Birchfall's expression changes just for a moment before he forcibly relaxes. "Please, take me to her." The patrol nods, and quickly, Mousewhisker pads to her side; his fur would have been brushing against hers if both their pelts were being forcibly matted to their skin. We probably look like drowning rats, she thinks. Cinderheart is the one who leads the patrol, sidestepping certain areas, and judging by how easily the other two ThunderClanners followed after, she assumed that this meant that they agreed with the young she-cat's choice to place her paws. Each time that Cinderheart swerved around the gaps, Leafpool would sneak a peak and spy gaping mouths of mud, and she shudders, thankful that Cinderheart knew where to place her paws.
They break through the brambles inside the camp, and almost immediately, Mousewhisker shakes his pelt off, although it seemed to do little, considering the overhanging trees didn't offer much in the way of protection - there was only buds of the beginnings of leaves dotting along the branches. "She's in the nursery," the grey and white tom meows, wrinkling his nose and sneezing thrice in rapid succession. Leafpool takes a step back, feeling uncomfortable. The other two cats meow in agreement, and Leafpool dips her head in thanks.
She feels the weight of heavy stares on her, but she does not flick her gaze to her ex-Clanmates. She straightens up her stance and keeps her tail rigid. It's surprisingly easy to move across the camp while keeping her paw steps narrower together, only shooting the ThunderClanners fleeting glances. She catches snippets of conversations. "It's Leafpool-"
"What's she doing here?"
"-...heard that Squirrelflight was asking for her..."
"…- actually glad that she's back - Jayfeather has gotten a bit bossy and...-"
She brushes aside the dripping plants overhanging the nursery, and pokes her head inside. It's dark, and fairly damp, the moss caving in beneath her paws, the springiness not quite bouncing her paws back. She shakes out the thick fur along her neck, flicking the tip of her tail before she moves inside. She feels almost unwelcome inside, as if she's trespassing. It had taken a good amount of her willpower to not bristle in agitation when their judging eyes went a bit too close. It's subdued, she knows, especially with the time that has passed since Hollyleaf's announcement and her banishment from the position until recently, but it doesn't mean that it hurts any less.
"Leafpool," Jayfeather is the one to announce her presence, sounding both agitated and pleased at once. He's bent over Squirrelflight, worry being masked by anger. She feels something like dread settle in her chest when she spots her sister, laying down on her side, her flank rising and falling in hurried breaths. "You came. I figured you'd be too loyal to ShadowClan to even dare return."
"I'm loyal to my sister," she meows, words cutting. Jayfeather blinks in surprise before his expression changes, and he scowls. Bramblestar approaches Leafpool and presses his nose to her cheek.
"I, for one, am glad that you came," he tells her, sounding tired and worried at once. "I never doubted you," he tells her, pressing his muzzle to her ear. She nods, pressing her shoulder to his before brushing past him to reach her sister's side. Squirrelflight was growing damp with sweat, and she was shaking heavily.
"How long has she been like this?" she addresses her other kin, who blinks at her with surprising accuracy. Jayfeather lets out a heavy sigh and moves over to make room for the older medicine cat, letting out a small huff when she got a bit too close.
"Just before dawn," he meows, and presses his paw to her stomach. "Feel this?" Leafpool copies his motion, and feels the bulge of Squirrelflight's abdomen beneath her paws. She feels round, swollen, and surprisingly warm to the touch. "I think she's already lost a kit, and are bound to lose the others if we don't get her started soon." She's too old for this, Leafpool thinks. She takes a quick look around and spies the few herbs that Jayfeather had gathered for this. "Squirrelflight, Leafpool is here," he meows, pressing his muzzle to the ginger she-cat's ear.
Squirrelflight's white paw twitches and she lets out a soft sigh, eyes blinking blearily at the tabby. "I knew you'd come," she lets out a weak purr. "I knew it. You always kept your promises." Leafpool tries for a smile but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. Her eyes focus in on the tabby with surprising clarity for a moment, "Can't you help me? It hurts, Leafpool."
"I know," she tells her, feeling sorrow seep through her. Jayfeather's anger towards her seems to fade with that statement. "Jayfeather-"
The grey tom is quick to nod. "I know - push on her stomach, right?" He stares down at the ginger she-cat with apprehension and surprisingly, devotion. Why has he forgiven Squirrelflight and not me? She thinks, but it's a comment from the back of her mind that doesn't quite fully form - she is far too worried over Squirrelflight's condition to angst over how unrequited her feelings of love were. She nods in confirmation. Jayfeather puts his paws atop of Squirrelflight's lower stomach, making soft noises from the back of his throat with surprising gentleness.
Leafpool supervises, watching Jayfeather expertly press his paws down towards Squirrelflight's hips, putting enough pressure for the older warrior to squirm and let out a startled cry of discomfort. Not surprisingly, she quickly clamps her teeth down, struggling against the pain but bearing through it. Sympathy flashed through her - Leafpool remembered the agony of giving birth. Her own kits have came easy and effortlessly, but it had been in the heart of leafbare with only her sister at her side.
Leafpool mutters quick and quiet reassurances, both to her son and to her sister, encouraging them both. Jayfeather says nothing, but shoots her swift glances from time to time. Squirrelflight only let out murmurs of discomfort and pain, but she ignored Leafpool's offer to get her a stick to gnaw on. The first one that slides out is a dark colour, even after she's nipped the sac - a dark colour that Leafpool recognizes would grow to be a dark colour, probably brown. She wouldn't be surprised if this one would turn out to look like his father. "Tom," she meows, and quickly swipes a quick lick across the kit's backside until she catches Bramblestar staring at her apprehensively. "Lick his fur in the opposite direction," she instructs him and he startles before nodding, smoothing the kit's fur back.
Squirrelflight lets out a meow of discomfort, and she pushes out another kit. "She-cat," Leafpool checks, recognizing pale ginger fur. Seeing Bramblestar being busy pampering the other kit, she licks this one until it lets out a sputtering cough then lets out a shrill cry. Squirrelflight instinctively twitches, and Jayfeather has to settle his paw along her flank for comfort.
"There's still more," he tells her, voice low and comforting. "Please, hang on Squirrelflight. Then you can see them." Squirrelflight lets out a groan and Leafpool side-eyes the young tom who Bramblestar was reverently licking. She feels her worry spike until the kit lets out a strangled cry, although his breathing was heavily laboured. The next two come surprisingly easy, one with a flame-coloured pelt and another with a dark ginger pelt.
"She-cat and tom," she announces as soon as they begin to heave their first couple of breaths.
"That's it," Jayfeather meows, removing his paws away from Squirrelflight. The ginger warrior lets out a shaky breath, her flank rising and falling. Leafpool could see her green eyes flicker closed, her shoulders shaking with effort. "You did well, Squirrelflight," there's unguarded emotion in Jayfeather's voice that makes Leafpool aware of the kinship that the two still shared, even though the lies split them apart all those moons ago. Squirrelflight meows her thanks, but the tabby could tell in her voice how tired she was. Fortunately, it didn't seem like she'd die from the effort, so Leafpool let out a breath that she wasn't aware that she had been holding.
They each press the four kits to Squirrelflight's side, where they begin to suckle, although the warrior does little to prompt them. Slowly, she raises her head and inspects each of them. "Oh," she sighs, "They're perfect." There's so much awe to her voice that Leafpool had to glance away, feeling her shoulders stiffen. "Bramblestar?" she prompts, voice gentler and kinder than the medicine cat had heard in a long while.
There was a brief hesitation, evident by the pause before Bramblestar nudges the dark one, "Juniperkit." He sounds happy, relieved that the worst seemed to be over, and he kept glancing down at his mate, as if looking for her approval.
Squirrelflight sighs, pleased. "Yes," she taps the pale ginger one, "Sparkkit." Was that intentional? A spark arises from a fire… Leafpool feels warmth rush through her at Squirrelflight's subtle choice to honour their late father. Bramblestar nods, stepping closer and carefully twining his tail around his mate's. There was such clear devotion in his eyes that Leafpool sighed.
"Jayfeather?" the tom stiffens when Bramblestar turns to him. Squirrelflight is blinking kindly at the grey tabby, "Jayfeather, you can name one." For a split second, the powerful brown tabby tom flicked his amber eyes to Leafpool. She feels almost uneasy by the attention, not sure how to react to the glance, wondering what it was about.
The tom hesitates, shoulders stiffening, "I … don't know …" He scowls, glaring at each individual kit. "I've never named kits before. I'd probably give it an embarrassing name." He definitely sounds pleased, though; Leafpool could tell by the tone of his voice, the fond way that his eyes softened. "… Alderkit, for this one," he touches the dark ginger kit, who lets out a soft squeak at the touch. "… I think his name would be suitable - similar to yours." His gaze flicks towards Leafpool, who stiffens at the glance. "Alders are trees and leaves.. come from trees..." he trails off, looking uncomfortable. Bramblestar is nodding, though, seeming fine with it. Why would he name him that? she thinks but is startled out of her thoughts before she could reach the conclusion.
"Leafpool, the last one," Squirrelflight sighs, sounding tired, and Leafpool stiffens again, surprised that her joints haven't locked in surprise. "Don't worry - Bramblestar and I had both agreed before … you could name one. You let me name Hollykit after all." Jayfeather's ears twitch and he frowns, seemingly uncomfortable again.
Leafpool takes a quick breath, trying not to think of her deceased daughter and yet … "Dandelionkit," she touches the flame-pelted she-kit with the tip of her tail. The kit squirms, pressing further in Squirrelflight's side. Leafpool feels almost ashamed of the simple name, but she feels almost proud, even though they were not her own kits, and belonged to another Clan that wasn't her own.
"That's perfect," Bramblestar is the one to encourage the medicine cat, and his tail reaches out to tap against Leafpool's flank. "Thank you." He nudges his mate, proudly staring down at his family. Leafpool feels something ease in her chest.
Leafpool stares down at each kit, at their narrow frames and their small bodies. Squirrelflight had been plump before, heavy with kits, moreso than Leafpool would have expected - but they were small, almost fragile in their cries. Leafpool's heart ached, and her stomach clenched uncomfortably at how shallow their breathing was, but she had done all that she could. There was no guarantee that they'd live past the first moon, but for her sister's sake, she hoped that they would.
"Thank you," Squirrelflight whispers, voice surprisingly quiet and frail, but she sounds so kind and so proud that she lets out a quick sigh, happy that her sister was pleased.
Jayfeather inspects the kits without prompting from Leafpool, grumbling to himself and barely sparing anyone else a glance - but there's a soft look to his eyes as he stares down at each of them. Squirrelflight closes her eyes and looks ready to sleep for a while yet. Leave it to her to sleep through a storm, after all. Bramblestar shares a glance with Leafpool, but his expression is unreadable. Even though the ShadowClanner could feel the joy settle in her bones, she still felt out of the loop - she was proud of her sister for pulling through, beyond happy that all the kits survived, and yet she still felt like someone watching from the outside in on an intimate moment.
Never before did Leafpool feel like a stranger like she did in that exact moment - here, ThunderClan was praising her sister, with the other queens looking at the new mother; Daisy looking tired but preening at the kits, knowing better then to crowd them. Millie smiled from where she was, and Jayfeather let out a sharp harumph from where he was, but there was something kind in his blind blue eyes. Bramblestar had the posture of a proud father, something that Crowfeather had never quite managed, but he was definitely pleased. Leafpool couldn't read her sister's expression but she wasn't looking at her.
With her heart sinking into her stomach, Leafpool realized that she felt like an outsider, even with all the joy and the cheer in the air - but if that was the case, where did she truly belong?