THE SEASON ENDING OF…OURAN TRUTH AND DARES
Me: *in dressing room*
Producer: *knocks on the door* Lesha? Are you in here?
Me: *Sitting at the vanity looking into the mirror as Rocker brushes my hair* Yeah, come in asshole
Producer: -_-' *sighs and walks in holding a white envelope*
Me: *turns head slightly*
Rockergirl0709: Tsuin-chan don't move while I'm working on your braids
Me: Gomen, Tsuin-chan. *looks out the corner of my eye* What the hell is that?
Producer: *clears throat* it's a letter addressed to the host of Ouran Truth And Dares
Me: *holds out palm* Let me see it
Producer: *hands me the envelope and starts slinking towards the door*
Me: Hey, what's up with you today? You're acting funny *quirks eyebrow as my eyes narrow*
Producer: *starts sweating* Nothing! Nothing at all!
Me: Yeah…that's what they all say…
Rockergirl0709: You're lucky she asked me to do her hair
Producer: *rubs back of neck sheepishly* yeah, no kidding
Me: Am I going to like what's in this envelope…*voice starts to raise*
Producer: That depends…it's from your brother…
Me: -_- .
Rockergirl0709: *takes letter out of my hand and slowly slits it open*
Producer: *makes a mad dash out of my dressing room and slams the door shut behind him*
Me: *takes letter out of Rocker's hands and starts reading over the letter*
Rockergirl0709: *reading over my shoulder*
Me: Tsuin-chan…do me a favor…
Rockergirl0709: Tsuin-chan, I don't like that look in your eye…*bites nails*
Me: DANNI!
Danni: *dashes into my dressing room pulling Nekozawa by a studded leash*
Me: Can I borrow your tazer?
Danni: My tazer?
Me: Yes…*panting as my face appears completely crimson* your tazer…
Danni: Where's the MSSH20?
Rockergirl0709: At the cleaners *sighs* Tsuin-chan couldn't get all the bloodstains off so she needed it cleaned by a professional
Danni: O.o
Me: JUST GET ME THE TAZER! *bangs fist on the vanity* FUCK!
Rockergirl0709: Tsuin-chan!
Danni: Lesha!
Me: *sniffles* And that asshole Kyouya in nurse cos-play *holding my wrist*
Rockergirl0709 & Danni: Right! *race out of room*
~15 minutes later
Me: *sitting in a big comfy chair on the set of OTAD*
Cast: *start filing in*
Kaoru: Lesha!
Hikaru: What the hell happened to your wrist?!
Me: *grumbling and muttering under my breath*
Kyouya: She broke it on her vanity *still dressed in nurse cos-play*
Tamaki: *wolf whistles at Kyouya* Looking good sexy thang!
Kyouya: Oh shut the hell up!
Rockergirl0709: *petting my head*
Me: Tamaki, since you're here go get into wardrobe *sighs*
Tamaki: Hu? *cocks head*
Me: HollyHogwartsRoar wants to see you in Edward Elric cos-play so go get dressed
Tamaki: *grins and skips off to the dressing rooms*
Penguin070594: *walks onto the set*
Me: *eyes narrow as I open up my palm*
Rockergil0709: Tsuin-chan…do you really think…*sweat drops*
Me: Hand me the damn tazer…
Rockergirl0709: Oh lord…*covers eyes and hands me the tazer* this isn't going to end well
Penguin070594: *looks over to me and rubs the back of his neck sheepishly* I hope there are no hard feelings
Me: *makes tazer spark* Oh no hard feelings at all, Onii-san…
Penguin070594: Lesha! Lesha be reasonable! *starts sweating as he looks around for Takashi*
Me: *lunges at him and pins him to the floor*
Penguin070594: *eyes widen as he starts screaming* TAKASHI! TAKASHI SAVE ME!
Mori: *comes running into the room and sees me pinning Pen to the floor*
Kyouya: *pushes up his glasses* Will someone get that animal off him before another pretty comes out of my pocket? Kasanoda's dental bill nearly cost us a fortune.
Hunny: *looks to Takashi*
Mori: *looks to Hunny and nods*
Hunny: *grabs my waist and starts hauling me off of Pen*
Me: LEMME GO! LEMME GO! *kicking and thrashing around*
Penguin070594: *gasping from breath* YOU NEARLY KILLED ME!
Mori: *helps Pen up off the ground*
Me: *tears build up* what's this about you going to go move to Hawaii with Takashi and leaving me to find a replacement for the two of you?!
Penguin070594: *sighs* you can't expect me to remain a host forever can you? I mean come on faces only stay this sexy for so long *pokes his cheek*
Me: Fine! *blows a giant raspberry* Go! See if I need you! *goes limp and hangs my head*
Rockergirl0709: *sighs* Tsuin-chan…*looks to Pen* I'd go if I were you…
Penguin070594: but…but…*snatches up Takashi's hand* Come on, Takashi…let's go *starts heading for the door*
Me: *lifts head up and yells after him* Pen! Onii-san, wait!
Penguin070594: Hu? *turns around*
Me: *sighs* I'm angry with you…but you're my brother still, okay?
Pen: *nods* I wasn't expecting that to change anytime soon, you goof
Me: *smiles softly* Do one last show with us, please?
Penguin070594: why the hell not *shrugs and walks back onto the set*
Tamaki: *walks out of the dressing room in Edward Elric cos-play* Did I miss something?
Me: *drools* Nope…you're right on time actually *looks to Rocker* Tsuin-chan, could you please read the dare?
Rockergirl0709: *nods* It says here that HollyHogwartsRoar would like you to say this *hands Tamaki the script*
Tamaki: *scans over the paper* That?
Me: *snickers* Yep
Tamaki: *takes a deep intake of breath and kneels down* DON'T CALL ME SHORT! I'LL RIP YOUR LEGS OFF AND STICK THEM ON YOUR HEAD*
Everyone: *bursts out laughing*
Me: *wipes tears from my eye* oh god…that's classic
Rockergirl0709: Hey, Tsuin-chan?
Me: Hmm? *looks to her* what is it?
Rockergirl0709: You have a dare from scout357
Me: Ooo what is it? *cocks head*
Rockergirl0709: You have to sing the song Cowboy Casanova to someone
Me: *smirks and looks in Hikaru's direction* Oh Hika-chan!
Hikaru: -_-' *trying to ignore me* kaoru, did you hear something?
Kaoru: Yeah, I think lesha is calling to you 8points to me*
Me: *waves at Kaoru*
Hikaru: *sweat drops and turns his head ever so slightly*
Me: HIKARU, GET OVER HERE YOU ASSHOLE!
Hikaru: O.O *walks over to me slowly*
Me: *pushes Hikaru into a wooden chair with my foot* Listen up *smirks*
You better take it from me, that boy is like a disease
You're running, you're trying, you're trying to hide
And you're wondering why you can't get free
He's like a curse, he's like a drug
You get addicted to his love
You wanna get out but he's holding you down
'Cause you can't live without one more touch
[Chorus]
He's a good time cowboy
I see that look on your face
You ain't hearing what I say
So I'll say it again
'Cause I know where you been
And I know how it ends
You can't get away
Don't even look in his eyes
He'll tell you nothing but lies
And you wanna believe
But you won't be deceived
If you listen to me
And take my advice
(Chorus)
Run run away
Don't let him mess with your mind
He'll tell you anything you want to hear
He'll break your heart
It's just a matter of time
But just remember
(Chorus)
Oh you better run for your life (2)
casanovaLeaning up against the record machine
Looks like a cool drink of water
But he's candy-coated misery
He's the devil in disguise
A snake with blue eyes
And he only comes out at night
Gives you feelings that you don't want to fight
You better run for your life
Me: *stops singing*
Everyone: *clapping and whistling*
Hikaru: *eyes narrowed* what are you implying, lesha?
Me: *tilts Hikaru's chin and bites his lip* Oh I think you know *smirks*
Hikaru: *blushing fiercely*
Danni: Hey Lesha!
Me: *looks to her* You have another dare?
Danni: *nods* It's from my sister Ilovemychocolatemello
Me: Okay, what's it say?
Danni: she wants to see us perform the Cell Block Tango from Chicago
Me: *snaps fingers* COSTUME CHANGE!
Ranka: *comes out and pulls the hosts into the dressing room*
Tamaki: *squishes his chest* Hey look I have a set of boobs!
Kyouya: How much is this going to cost us?
Hunny: *giggles* I like these extensions! They make my hair look so luscious
Mori: *looking at hips* Does this dress make me look fat?
Hikaru & Kaoru: *touching each other's breasts* well isn't this hot *snickers*
Ranka: -_-' you all are sick little boys *kicks them out of the dressing room dressed up like flappers*
Me: *snaps fingers*
Benio: *flicks off the lights*
Me: *claps hands*
Chizuru and Hinako: *cue in the spotlights*
Me: SING YOU LITTLE WHORES SING!
[TAMAKI]
Pop!
[KYOUYA]
Six!
[HUNNY]
Squish!
[MORI]
Uh Uh (squeezing necklace)
[HIKARU]
Cicero (Smoke puffs)
[KAORU]
Lipschitz!
[TAMAKI]
Pop!
[KYOUYA]
Six!
[HUNNY]
Squish!
[MORI]
Uh Uh (squeezing necklace)
[HIKARU]
Cicero (smoke puffs)
[KAORU]
Lipschitz!
[TAMAKI]
Pop!
[KYOUYA]
Six!
[HUNNY]
Squish!
[MORI]
Uh Uh (squeezing necklace)
[HIKARU]
Cicero (smoke puffs)
[KAORU]
Lipschitz!
[TAMAKI]
Pop!
[KYOUYA]
Six!
[HUNNY]
Squish!
[MORI]
Uh Uh (squeezing necklace)
[HIKARU]
Cicero (smoke puffs)
[KAORU]
Lipschitz!
[TAMAKI]
Pop!
[KYOUYA]
Six!
HUNNY]
Squish!
[MORI]
Uh Uh (squeezing necklace)
[HIKARU]
Cicero (smoke puffs)
[KAORU]
Lipschitz!
[ALL]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
[HIKARU]
I betcha you would have done the same!
TAMAKI]
Pop!
[KYOUYA]
Six!
[HUNNY]
Squish!
[MORI]
Uh Uh (squeezing necklace
[HIKARU]
Cicero (smoke puffs)
[KAORU]
Lipschitz!
[TAMAKI (Spoken)]
You know how people
have these little habits
That get you down. Like Bernie.
Bernie like to chew gum.
No, not chew. POP.
So I came home this one day
And I am really irritated, and I'm
looking for a bit of sympathy
and there's Bernie layin'
on the couch, drinkin' a beer
and chewin'. No, not chewin'.
Poppin'. So, I said to him,
I said, "you pop that
gum one more time..."
and he did.
So I took the shotgun off the wall
and I fired two warning shots...
...into his head.
[GIRLS]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
[KYOUYA (Spoken)]
I met Ezekiel Young from
Salt Lake city about two years ago
and he told me he was single
and we hit it off right away.
So, we started living together.
He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd
fix him a drink, We'd have dinner.
And then I found out,
"Single" he told me?
Single, my ass. Not only
was he married
...oh, no, he had six wives.
One of those Mormons, you know. So that
night, when he came home, I fixed him
his drink as usual.
You know, some guys just can't hold
their arsenic.
[TAMAKI, KYOUYA, HUNNY, KAORU]
Hah! He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a flower
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!
[HIKARUAND MORI]
Pop, six, squish, uh-uh
Cicero, Lipschitz
[HUNNY (Spoken)]
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
carvin' up the chicken for dinner,
minding my own business,
and in storms my husband Wilbur,
in a jealous rage.
"You been screwin' the milkman,"
he says. He was crazy
and he kept screamin',
"you been screwin the milkman."
And then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife ten times.."
[ALL]
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
[MORI (Spoken)]
Mit keresek, n itt? Azt mondj k,
hogy a h res lakem lefogta a f rjemet n meg
lecsaptam a fej t. De nem igaz, n rtatlan
vagyok. Nem tudom mi rt mondja
Uncle Sam, hogy n tettem. Prob ltam
a rend rs gen megmagyar zni de nem rtett k meg...
[HUNNY (Spoken)]
Yeah, but did you do it?
MORI
UH UH, not guilty!
HIKARU
My sister, Veronica and
I had this double act
and my husband, Charlie,
traveled around with us.
Now, for the last number in
our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks
one two three four,five...splits, spread eagles,
back flips,flip flops,
one right after the other.
Well, this one night we were in the hotel Cicero,
the three of us,
boozin' and
havin' a few laughs
when we run out of ice.
So I went out to get some.
I come back, open the door
and there's Veronica and
Charlie doing Number Seventeen-
the spread eagle.
Well, I was in such a state of shock,
I completely blacked out.I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later,
when I was washing the blood off my hands
I even knew they were dead.
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
HIKARU
They had it coming
[GIRLS]
They had it coming
HIKARU
They had it coming
[GIRLS]
They had it coming
HIKARU
They had it coming
[GIRLS]
They took a flower
[HIKARU
All along
[GIRLS]
In its prime
HIKARU
I didn't do it
[GIRLS]
And then they used it
HIKARU
But if I'd done it
[GIRLS]
And they abused it
HIKARU
How could you tell me
[GIRLS]
It was a murder
HIKARU
That I was wrong?
[GIRLS]
But not a crime!
KAORU
I loved Alvin Lipschitz
more than I can possibly say.
He was a real artistic guy...
sensitive... a painter.
But
He was always trying
to find himself.
He'd go out every night
looking for himself
and on the way
he found Ruth,
Gladys,
Rosemary and Irving.
I guess you can say we broke
up because of artistic differences.
He saw himself as alive
and I saw him dead.
[ALL]
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
[TAMAKI, KYOUYA, KAORU]
They had it comin'
[HIKARU, HUNNY, MORI]
They had it comin'
[TAMAKI, KYOUYA, KAORU]
They had it comin'
[HIKARU, HUNNY, MORI]
They had it comin'
[TAMAKI, KYOUYA, KAORU]
They had it comin'
[HIKARU, HUNNY, MORI]
They had it comin'
[TAMAKI, KYOUYA, KAORU]
All along
[HIKARU, HUNNY, MORI]
All along
'Cause if they used us
'Cause if they used us And they abused us
And they abused us
[TAMAKI, KYOUYA, KAORU]
How could you tell us
[HIKARU, HUNNY, MORI]
How could you tell us That we were wrong?
That we were wrong?
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had
Himself
To blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!
[TAMAKI(Spoken)]
You pop that gum one more time!
[KYOUYA (spoken)]
Single my ass.
[HUNNY (Spoken)]
Ten times!
[MORI (Spoken)]
Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe.
[HIKARU (Spoken)]
Number seventeen-the spread eagle.
[KAORU (Spoken)]
Artistic differences.
TAMAKI
Pop!
KYOUYA
Six!
HUNNY
Squish!
MORI
Uh Uh (squeezing necklace)
HIKARU
Cicero (smoke puffs)
KAORU
Lipschitz!
Everyone: O.O
Host: *quirk brows*
Everyone: *bursts into sudden cheers and claps wildly*
Me: *grinning from ear to ear* It's a damn well good thing that all you guys have penises because I might be questioning my sexuality right about now *chuckles*
Hikaru: *kisses his hand and then places it on his dick* Thank you, kami!
*sudden knock on the door*
Me: Kasanoda, can you get that please?
Kasanoda: *goes to get the door*
*men in black suits holding up government agent tags standing there*
Men: We're looking for the host of Ouran Truth and Dares
Kasanoda: *looks to me* Somebody's at the door for you, lesha
Me: *walks to about Kasanoda's shoulder before breaking out into a sweat and backing up*
Men: *look at each other and nod* Yep, that's her alright
Rockergirl0709: Tsuin-chan, what's going on?
Penguin070594: Lesha, are you in some sort of legal trouble?
Danni: I didn't sign up to go to jail!
Me: *rubs back of neck sheepishly smiling before glaring at my producer*
Men: Lesha, you're under arrest for the vulgar conduct of your show. It clearly should be rated mature where as you have rated E for everyone.
Me: *glares at the producer* I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO CHANGE IT TO MATURE LAST WEEK YOU ASSHOLE!
Producer: whoops…*chuckles nervously*
Me: I'LL FUCKING WHOOPS YOU INTO NEXT WEEK! *lunges for him*
Men: *take out super charged tazor and zap me*
Me: ahhh! *falls to the ground squirming as I still try to crawl towards the producer*
Men: *looking into the camera* Do to legal issues the Ouran Truth and Dares program is permanently terminated. *screen starts to fuzz as I'm pulled out the fire exit screaming like a banshee*
Me: ONLY YOU CAN SAVE THE SHOW VIEWERS! IF OURAN TRUTH AND DARES GETS 150 REVIEWS (not dares or questions) THEY MIGHT JUST LET ME OUT OF THE BIG HOUSE!
Penguin070594: Because no one wants to see her hosting from a smelly jail cell *rolls eyes*
Danni: Ain't that the truth *sighs*
Rockergirl0709: TSUIN-CHAN! TAKE ME WITH YOU!