CHAPTER 9

SG-1 RIP

The gate room was filled with SG-C personnel, and as the sole survivor of SG-1, Zim was given a front row seat to the empty coffins representing the bodies of O'Neill, Jackson, Carter, Teal'c and Rico. American flags were draped over each coffin, and Hammond stood at the front of the room with the Stargate behind him like a halo. Some bald-headed guy in a funny outfit stood next to him, weeping his eyes out. Zim didn't pay much attention, but he was pretty sure he'd heard Hammond refer to this guy as Jacob. He got the idea that he was Carter's father.

Zim kind of enjoyed the dress uniform he'd been given. It looked real nice, and he was pretty sure it would get him laid. Not that there were a lot of chicks around here. His best chance would be to prowl around the ladies locker room. Yeah, that was the way to go. Pull a Pervdoz. Not literally, though.

"We gather here today to say goodbye to the flagship field team of Stargate Command," Hammond said, "known as SG-1. I never thought I'd see the day that we'd lay to rest the spirits of these fine men and woman. I have known Jack O'Neill for many years. He was among the first of our race to travel the stars. He was a close friend, and—"

Zim tuned out. Instead he thought about how he'd never get to check out Carter's boobs now. He wondered if Rico managed to get a glimpse of them before he died. Probably did. The bastard.

"And I never thought I'd actually lay Daniel Jackson to rest," Hammond said. "He's died so many times I thought it would never take. Not in the end. And Teal'c, who joined our cause to help fuel his. Today, we have Master Bra'tac to say a few words before bringing his finest student back to his home world of Chulak."

Another guy with a weird head tattoo made his appearance and started talking about Teal'c in tones that made him sound like he was in some stupid old play from back in whenever the hell Shakespeare lived. Very boring. Zim tuned out again. And then Jacob got to say a few teary-eyed things about his daughter. The only thing that stood out was when Jacob said he was glad that Anubis had been slain in the same explosion that took Carter's life. "She'd have been happy to know that even in her moment of death, she was taking out the most powerful System Lord in the galaxy."

Hammond gently touched Jacob's shoulder, and the weepy baldheaded guy retreated from the lectern. "Lastly we have our first Red Shirt casualty. Rico wasn't with SG-1 for very long, but in his brief time with them he stood out as a true warrior. With fifteen Jaffa kills to his name on his very first day, he will be greatly missed. I'd now like to turn the floor over to his partner, Cris Zim. If you would please say a few words about your dearly departed friend."

What?! He had to say nice things about Rico? What the fuck was this? Doing his best to keep his scowl off his face, Zim approached the lectern as slowly as he could. He cleared his throat directly into the mic, causing a bit of feedback to screech through the gate room. Everyone cringed.

"Um. I've known Rico for a long time, and he was . . . um . . ." He gritted his teeth. "A great guy. One of the best I've ever known. I'm sure he'd be happy knowing that he helped take down a big bad. Thanks." And he got away from the mic as soon as he could.

Bra'tac and several other Jaffa took Teal'c's coffin through the Stargate, and the rest of SG-1's coffins were airlifted out, where they would be flown to Arlington Cemetery in Washington . . . except for O'Neill, who had wanted to be laid to rest near his cabin in Minnesota.

As Zim went back to his quarters, DD approached. "That sucks, man. You lost your entire team your first time out."

"Thanks for reminding me," Zim said.

"I wanted to tell you that I found a singer for my Stargate band. Paisley sings pretty well. Except all he wants to sing is Prince, for some reason. Oh yeah, and Snoop Dogg, too."

"You got Paisley to sing for your band?" Zim asked.

"I'd have preferred you, but you didn't seem too interested."

"Eh, that's okay. Paisley's good." Zim could barely believe the words coming out of his mouth.

"You wanna watch us play? We got some Red Shirt from SG-10 to play drums. We're kind of good."

"No, I'm going to, um, mourn the passing of my friend."

"All right, well, you take care."

Finally DD went away. This freed Zim up to go back to his bunk and get some shuteye. However, just as he laid his head down, Hammond entered, accompanied by Jacob. "Zim, I'm sorry to interrupt you in your time of mourning," Hammond said, "but I feel that this is important."

Zim sighed. "Sure. Go ahead. Sir."

Jacob spoke this time. "I know it's hard losing your entire team. And it's been hard on me, too. Sam was my daughter, and Colonel O'Neill has been a friend of mind for a long time. But I think I might know a way we can reverse this. I'm going to need your help, though."

No. More work? And it would mean bringing Rico back to life? Fuuuuuuuck. "What's up?" Zim asked.

"You're new, so you probably don't know that I'm Tok'ra. We're like the Goa'uld, but we're the good guys. Our name means 'against Ra.'"

"That means you got one of those things in your guts?" Zim asked.

"Yes. I am host to Selmak, which means that I have access to all the knowledge of the Tok'ra for as long back as he can remember. He seems to recall something about an Ancient device that can be used to move time back five seconds. It lets you have kind of a do-over, if you get me."

"Like when I die in Final Fantasy?"

"Uh . . . sure. But the problem is, Selmak doesn't know where this device might be. We need to use the Ancients' repository of knowledge to find it. That means downloading it into your brain so you can help us retrieve it."

"That sounds dangerous."

"It is. From our experience, only the Asgard have been able to reverse the process. But it's vital to the survival of SG-1 and the return of your friend, Rico."

My friend?! Zim wanted to spit this back in Jacob's face, but he knew that wouldn't be a good idea.

"Once we have the device in our hands, we have a method of time traveling. If we calculate things correctly, we'll be able to put you through the Stargate during a sun spot incident. With some degree of certainty, we'll be able to put you back to the moment before Anubis's ship exploded. You can then use the device to stop the ship from detonating with SG-1 onboard."

"That sounds like a lot of ifs," Zim said. "Are you sure-?" This thing is going to be worth it, he was about to finish.

"It's going to work? It's got to."

"We just need your permission," Hammond said. "This is going to be an all Red Shirt assignment led by Jacob here. You would be second in command. We just need you to select three other Red Shirts."

"Wait, the level of danger on this one's pretty high, right?"

"Of course," Hammond said.

Zim smiled. "Get me DD and Paisley. And what other Red Shirts to we have?"

Hammond rattled off a list of names until Zim heard one he recognized. "Yes! That's the one! GET ME PERVDOZ."