CHAPTER 10
Love is Weakness
"She doesn't look good."
"Well of course, she doesn't look good. She just witnessed her girlfriend kissing another woman in front of everyone."
Jane and Sutton pulled a shocked Kat away from prying eyes earlier. They went directly to the washroom and locked it. They were extremely worried about Kat's demeanor after the incident.
"That was just some auction stuff. Surely, Adena won't do that on purpose. Not in front of Kat at least."
"Yeah, but she did it anyway. Our friend is hurt. We're supposed to be on her side."
"Of course, I'm on Kat's side. I'm just saying that-"
"That's her ex-fiancée." Kat says unemotionally.
"What?" Sutton and Jane ask, bewildered.
Kat takes a deep breath. Finally, she looks at her friends. She wipes her tears away and her eyes looks determined. About what? Jane and Sutton don't know.
"I'm fine." She says, although she doesn't look fine.
Sutton sighs. "Kat… We got you. It hurts, we know. I think we should leave."
Jane nods. "I agree. Let's just go. The party is nearly done anyway."
"No." Kat shakes her head. "We're going back there." Her tone is still different. It's cold and void of emotions.
"But Kat…" Jane starts to protest but Kat holds her arm.
"I'm fine. We need to go there and show that I'm unaffected, Jane. Besides, there is still one performance we need to do before this ends."
Jane and Sutton nod. They just wished that Kat could handle seeing Adena. Both are still worried. This is the first time they see Kat high-strung like this.
"Kat!" Adena calls Kat's name as soon as she sees her. She was very worried. She looked all over for her but couldn't find her.
"Hey Adena." Kat replies as she tries to hide her emotions underneath it.
"I'm so sorry you've witnessed that. I don't know why did she do that but I was caught in the situation and I…"
Kat stops Adena by caressing her right cheek. That move made Adena still. "It's fine Adena. We're not really together so you don't need to explain."
Adena blinks. She feels her heart skips a beat at Kat's words. She pulls away from Kat's touch. "Okay. That makes sense."
Kat smiles. "Look at the bright side, Adena. Your ex-fiancé finds you unreachable but attractive. I think I served my purpose."
Adena felt her heart breaking hearing these words from Kat. Her confirmation on her unrequited love for Kat really breaks her heart. She knows that Kat doesn't love her but a part of her really wishes that Kat felt the same too. "Is that what you really think?" Adena asks. "Do you want me to get back to Shireen?"
Kat smiles. "Of course, Adena. I told you I'd help you."
Adena nods. "Very well. Have a nice night, Kat Edison. I think I have a date to attend to." She turns away from Kat. And as she leaves, she tries to control her tears from falling.
Kat watches her walk away. She tries so hard to control her tears.
Her heart is breaking apart.
Kat Edison was never been in love before until she met Adena.
If this is what they called 'Love', she thought to herself; then she doesn't want to feel it anymore.
"Kat, are you really okay?" Sutton asks softly. "You couldn't sleep?"
Sutton was right, Kat couldn't sleep. It was 2 A.M. in the morning when she decided to stand up and go to the balcony.
Kat sighs.
"I know you're not okay, Kat. What happened with Adena? She left the party early." Sutton continues, "I'm your friend. You can tell me anything."
Kat looks at Sutton. As soon as her eyes came contact with Sutton's, tears pool in her eyes.
"Oh Kat…" Sutton breathes as she opens her arms for her friend. Kat immediately hugs Sutton.
"It hurts." Kat says after a while. "It really hurts, Sutton."
"I know…" Sutton whispers. "I know, Kat… But you just need to talk to Adena and…"
"I don't have the right to be jealous." Kat mumbles.
"What?" Sutton pulls away. "What do you mean? Did she tell that to you?"
Kat shakes her head. "There's something I need to tell you and Jane."
"Kat, Sutton! Where are you?" It was Jane's voice.
Kat nods. "Let's go inside and I'll tell you everything…" She sighs defeatedly.
"WHAT THE HELL KAT!" It was Jane's angry voice.
"WHY DID YOU NOT TELL US?" This time, it was Sutton's.
"I'm sorry guys. I know that what I did was wrong but at first I just want us to have that chance, you know. Her offer is really appealing. And I screwed up our first audition with AEA Records and the situation just presented itself. I want us to have that second chance."
Sutton sighs. "But why lie to us? You could've just told us the truth."
"It was part of the deal. I can't tell anyone." She explains.
"Why tell us now?" Jane asks.
"Because the initial deal was off after New York. Adena and I talked about it and we don't want to pretend anymore. We became friends but then Lauren Park, who thought that we want our relationship to be private before OT3's launch, suggested otherwise for good press. So Adena came to me again, and because we are friends now, I agree." Kat explains continuously. "But I can't pretend anymore." She adds in a soft voice.
Jane and Sutton sighs.
"Oh… Kat…" Sutton breathes. "You fell in love with her."
Kat nods as she looks away. "I didn't plan to."
Jane hugs her. Sutton joins in.
"I think you should tell her the truth." Jane suggests softly.
Kat pulls away, smiling sadly. "She has one rule and I broke it. 'Don't fall in love with me.' She emphasized it to me. So I can't tell her that, Jane."
"Oh Kat… You won't know until you tell her. Maybe she feels the same way." Sutton adds.
"Have you seen them? Adena El-Amin and Shireen Kazemy? The power couple. They look perfect together." Kat smiles sadly then looks away. "I've witnessed their kiss. I'm not blind. You saw it."
Wordlessly, Jane and Sutton decide to envelope Kat in their arms.
"What the hell is this?" Lauren says as she drops the magazine on Adena's office table.
Adena lifts her eyes on a seething Lauren. "What the hell is that?" She is not in the mood. Two days had passed since the auction and she hasn't seen Kat after that.
"Look at the front page." Lauren says as she tries to control her anger.
Adena looks at the front page of the magazine.
LESBIAN POWER COUPLE ADENA EL-AMIN AND SHIREEN KAZEMY BACK TOGETHER
She sighs. There are pictures of them kissing and having dinner.
"That's not true. That was just for the auction." She says nonchalantly.
"Yes, it was. But this is bad press for your supposed to be girlfriend, remember?" Lauren grits her teeth.
Adena rolls her eyes. "What do you want me to do?"
"Do I really need to spell it out for you that you need to spend much more time together with your girlfriend?"
"I'm busy, Lauren. I have job to do. I'm the CEO of this company."
Lauren nods. "Yes and I also have job to do to make sure this company makes money."
Adena stands up, irritated. "You know what? Kat and I broke up. So I don't need to do your bidding anymore."
"What? Why? Is it because of Shireen?"
"That is none of your business." She grits her teeth.
Lauren blinks as she walks towards the window of Adena's office. "Actually, that's fine."
"What?" Adena furrows her eyebrows.
"I can work on that."
"Work on what?" Adena asks, her tone slightly loud.
"Kat's heart is broken because of you so she will earn the media's sympathy." Lauren's light bulb is shining brightly in her head.
Adena shakes her head. "This is not a game, Lauren. You can't toy with people's feelings."
Lauren rolls her eyes. "This is Hollywood, my dear. You know that better than anyone." With that, she walks out of the office.
Adena doesn't like the things that could turn around inside Lauren Park's mind.
She doesn't have the courage to confess her growing feelings for Kat though. Adena sighs and massages her temple. She is a coward.
Three days later, Adena appears in front of Kat's doorstep.
"Hi. I didn't expect you here." Kat greets as she opens the door for her boss. She tries to act unaffected as she ignores the fast beating of her heart as soon as she saw her boss.
"May I come in?" Adena asks, feeling nervous but tries not to show it in front of Kat.
"Actually, I'm heading out." She tries to reason out because Jane and Sutton are inside the apartment. Her friends are overprotective of her. They will eat Adena alive. And that would cause problems because Adena is their boss.
"Then let's grab a coffee or something. I really need to talk to you." Adena suggests.
"Okay." Kat nods.
They were walking silently. No one dares to speak. No one dares to make the first move.
The tension between them was so high that Kat feels cold. Adena notices that. She removes her jacket and put it on Kat's shoulders.
"Oh no. I'm fine." She protests.
Adena didn't listen to her.
They found a secluded coffee shop in the corner. They sat in front of the other, feeling very anxious.
"How are you?" Adena asks.
"I'm fine. We were having rehearsals back and forth. The album is soon to be release."
Adena nods. "Yeah. So I've heard. I'm happy for you, Kat." She says genuinely.
"Thanks to you." Kat finally smiles.
Adena smiles back.
The waitress appears and takes their order. She was clearly flirting with Adena but the CEO's attention is on Kat.
"That waitress is flirting on you." Kat notices. "Shireen would have throw a fit"
Adena rolls her eyes. "I'm not back together with Shireen, Kat."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Why?" Kat asks.
"I just don't want to."
"But you want her. You still love her."
"I never said that." Adena replies.
Kat looks at her. "You don't have to say it. It shows."
"What shows?"
"That you're still in love with her. That's why you hire me. To pretend to be your girlfriend to make her jealous." Kat emphasizes.
Adena's heart rises. "That was before."
"Huh?" Kat furrows her eyebrows.
"What changed?"
Adena takes a deep breath. This is it. Is she really going to confess her feelings for young Kat Edison? What good would it be? It's obviously a one-sided love. But wouldn't she be brave enough to at least tell her what her heart desires?
"Actually…"
"Kat Edison! Oh my god! Is that you?"
A voice from afar interrupted her confession.
Kat searches for the owner of that familiar voice. She stands up and grins as soon as she saw her.
"Oh my god! Alicia!" Kat grins happily.
Adena turns around and was met by one of the rising star in Hollywood…
Alicia Clark. The lesbian icon.
The two hug each other as if they haven't seen each other in a very long time. Adena felt something inside her. It was jealousy.
"Oh wow! I can't believe it. You're here!"
"You're here in Hollywood, oh my god!"
They laugh at each other at their silliness. Adena notices how awfully close they were. Her jealousy increases tenfold.
Adena fakes a cough. "I didn't know you're friends with Alicia Clark, Kat."
Kat grins. "Oh yeah, we are bestfriends actually. Since we were kids. We haven't seen each other in a long time. Alicia, this is…"
Alicia offers her hand, "Adena El-Amin. I know." She smiles. "I'm Alicia Clark and it's nice to finally meet you."
Adena accepts it and smiles.
"When did you get back?" Kat asks Alicia.
"I came back here in the States two days ago. Filming in Australia took a lot of time. And imagine the shock I felt when I saw you in the magazines. I didn't know you're gay, Kat." Alicia said continuously.
Kat laughs nervously. "Oh… uhm… that's…"
"And you both are together." Alicia adds, grinning.
Kat reacts before Adena could. "Oh. We're not anymore. We're just friends now."
Adena's heart sinks.
"Oh." Alicia furrows her eyebrows, "Anyway, I need to go. I'll give you my number so we could catch up." She says.
"Sure." Kat says.
They both hug each other tightly before they go on separate ways.
Kat grins happily as she sits. "Wow. I can't believe I had the chance to run into her. It had been years since I saw Alicia in person. She flew over here to try her luck in Hollywood and I'm just so glad she hasn't change a bit." She said continuously.
Adena smiles at her. "You two seem really close."
Kat laughs and then whispers. "I had a girl crush on Alicia before. I think it was infatuation. She is just so beautiful isn't she?"
Adena nods. "Yes, she is."
"Well anyway, so what are we talking about again?" Kat asks.
Adena smiles. "I actually forgot."
"Okay then."
The waitress came and serves their coffee.
Adena silently sips her drink. Yeah. She is definitely a coward.
Kat wonders what Adena was about to say before Alicia came. Was Adena trying to confess her feelings for her? No. She shakes her head. Hoping Adena might feel the same way would just break her heart all over again.
Loving Adena makes her feel weak. She is not used to this.
Love is weakness. Kat convinces herself.