Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.
Rated M for a reason.
Chpt 9 Giving In
EPOV
It is true that time means little to a vampire so when spending time with the family forcibly reminds me that it is more than four years since I left my beloved, I am more than a little shocked.
The pain of loss has been so constant I have barely noticed the passage of time. South America has been my only distraction, I first followed Victoria there in my futile attempt to track her and although it did not work out as I expected the continent feels like my closest link to Bella. More so than the tattered photograph I ripped from her album.
The family's thoughts are sympathetic but not understanding. They all think I am crazy, even if Rose's reasons are different.
I am beginning to wonder if they are right. The pain has not eased, nor has my ability to deal with it improved. Am I fighting fate? Is Bella really my mate, as Alice asserted so long ago? If she is why am I so bent on subverting what is meant to be? What right or ability do I have to fight it?
If I close my eyes I can see her face, inhale her scent and feel her fragile body in my arms.
Is she well, is she safe, is she happy? I want her to have a human life but what if she is not happy? If she is not well or safe then I can assist without her ever knowing I am helping her, keeping my promise. But if she is not happy, if she is not happy then perhaps I could make an effort to see her? To ascertain if she would accept me back into her life. Would that be so bad, under those circumstances? Would that be so wrong?
Either way, I should go and I should see.
Bella.