They lay there, sweating, exhausted after their passionate tryst. Alex leaned over and tucked a strand of Veriti's chestnut-brown hair behind her ear.
"You're so beautiful," he said, looking at her. He meant it. He had never seen anyone so beautiful before. But there was a nagging doubt in his chest right next to the elated feeling. Had he made a mistake?
"You're so handsome," she said with a sleepy smile, running her hand down his right cheek. He shivered, thinking she must find his scars hideous, but she gently caressed his face, his neck, and kissed him again.
…no one had told him that in a long time.
"…do you mean that?" The question slipped out of his mouth and he cursed himself. He sounded so childish, so insecure.
"What?" she asked. Her tender gaze bade him to speak again.
"Am I really…handsome?" He was propped up on one elbow, looking at her, and his free hand covered the disfigurements on his face. But she moved his hand, holding it with her own, and smiled.
"Of course you are, Arcanus. You're the most handsome man I have ever seen."
"…it's Alex."
"What?"
"My real name…is Alex." Why was he saying this? He blushed. "Please…our secret?"
She mimed locking her lips with a key and giggled. Then, she yawned and curled up beside him.
"Well, you are one amazing man, no matter what I call you," she said. Several moments passed as he lay there, still propped up, looking at her in wonder.
She appeared to be sleeping and he finally laid down, staring at the ceiling. Veriti stirred and looked at him, her eyes bleary. She nuzzled his arm with her nose before closing her eyes again.
"I love you…Alex."
She was asleep as soon as she said it, her face at peace, her breathing calm and even. His jaw dropped wide open, a shock wave reverberating over his entire body.
WHAT?
She loved him? Loved him?
He was such an idiot, letting her seduce him like that! And now…what? How could such a perfect woman love someone like him? She didn't know his true heart…he was no good for her.
This was a mistake. This was all just a big mistake. He never should have stayed after the Well was activated. He should have left town.
The only thing he could commit to was avoiding commitment.
There was no place in his life for love. He had a mission to complete.
He had planned to say goodbye the following morning, to tell her and her brother he had to go back to the north. But he never dreamed that Veriti felt so strongly for him.
He never dreamed he would feel so strongly for her.
Alex rolled out of the bed, quickly, stuffing those stupid robes into his pack and quietly slipping on his underwear and traveling cloak. He snatched the mask off of the floor and tied it around his head.
He was a fool. A weak, pathetic fool. No one loved him. No one could. Even his cousin Mia had probably grown to hate him, and they had been so close as children.
Pangs of guilt and sorrow wracked his chest as he looked back at the sleeping Veriti, her curly hair, the curves of her body. He wanted so badly to touch her once more, stroke her cheek as she slept…but no. He couldn't.
Thank the gods he was able to warp, for he needed to flee the palace as soon as he could. He felt dizzy, suddenly, and sick with regret and self-hate. He transported himself far away, outside the gates of Ayuthay, running as fast as he could.
He knew where the airship was, could sense it, and he slowed his pace to a fast walk as he approached it. The guards nodded to him as he passed, and one called out to him.
"We have been waiting for you to depart! Are you finished here, sir?"
"Yes. Let's leave this place. Now." They shut the doors behind him and he hastened to his own quarters.
He heard the immense propellers starting up as he stepped into his room. He slammed the door behind him. Threw his pack on the floor, kicked his boots off and collapsed on his chair. The mask came off, too, but he set it gently onto the table by the chair.
The great Tuaparang ship lifted off the ground, flying north over Ayuthay and swiftly up into the clouds. Alex watched the city below until he could see it no more. Then, he leaned forward, put his head in his hands, and did something he had not done in years.
He wept.