Epilogue

Sam stared at the letter, his fingers shaking slightly as he read the words over and over, letting them finally settle in his mind. He had gotten into the college of his dreams, but more importantly he had found an escape from the world of the bizarre. In his hand he held almost all of his hopes and dreams, the only thing he had managed to think of since he was sixteen. College had replaced Dean, and Sam had spent the last two years perfecting his ability to block his brother from his mind. Now, as he stared down at the paper he couldn't help but sigh unhappily. Going away to Stanford would mean letting Dean go for good, it would mean he would trade in his sick version of happiness and join the real world. Sam could feel deep inside that this was his real world, that Dean had been real and their experience as real as the air he breathed. And so Sam forced away thoughts of what he had once had and focused on what he had just obtained.

"Dean?" His own voice startled him as he stared at his brother, who sat casually cleaning his guns.

"Yeah, Sammy?" To say that they were distant was an understatement.

"I need to talk to you about something." Sam shifted uncomfortably on the bed as he stared into Dean's eyes. The green bliss was breath taking, and Sam forced his eyes to drop before the tears could well.

"Okay, go ahead." Dean's words held worry and fear, his voice tight as though he were summoning up his courage.

"I got into Stanford. I'm going away to college." The words were simple enough, everything a normal family longed to hear. For Sam and Dean it meant that it was finally time to let go.

"You're…leaving? What about the family business?" Dean's voice was just a tad bit too high, his voice shaking as he stared at his little brother.

"Dean, I need to leave. I don't want to end up cold and alone like dad; I don't want to spend my life hoping that you'll come back one day. I'm sorry, but I pick normal." Sam felt tears well and travel down the familiar tracks on his skin.

"Sammy, don't do this. Dad will be really upset that you're leaving." Dean looked away, returning to his cleaning.

"This isn't about dad; it has never been about dad. You're not going to ask me to stay; you'll make up a thousand excuses before you'll admit that we had something." Sam felt his hands clench into fists, anger filling his voice and sorrow stabbing into his heart.

"What we had was fucked up and wrong. Honestly, I'm glad it is over." Sam could read Dean's lie before it ever left his lips, his posture too stiff, his voice too strained.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Dean. I think someday you'll look back and think, 'What did I let die?'"

"Sam, I think I will be more concerned with "what did I convince my brother to do?" I may have sent us both to hell, Sammy. Don't you get that?" There it was, the truth. Dean had been looking for an excuse to leave all along and some kid finding out they had fucked…well it provided more than enough reason to leave.

"Maybe we will go to hell but you know what? It was worth it; it was worth everything you've put me through. At least I have no regrets, I'm not sure you can say the same. Dean, you're a selfish fucking prick." Sam closed his eyes against the tears, blocking out the image of pain filled green eyes.

"I did this for you. I would die for you." Dean's words were spilling over with emotion, his voice cracking ever so slightly.

"And I would die to be with you." Sam shook his head as another wave of tears pushed free from his eyes and trickled down his face.

The room fell into silence, the only sounds floating away from Dean as he worked to clean his gun. It all felt too empty, too impersonal for Sam to accept. Stanford and a regular life would offer more than simply waiting around for Dean would. Sam was done waiting for the man of his dreams to wake up and realize that they were connected; fate had a plan for the brothers. Sam couldn't help but sense that he would never be free of Dean and that his love for his brother would drive him to great lengths. Sam was done waiting, but he was never going to let go of the man who had carried him off the track field, the man who had become Sam's version of a knight in shining armor. Dean would always be Sam's everything, and Sam would always simply be Dean's little brother.

FIN

(A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read this thing through and through, and to those who reviewed. I would love to know what you think of the ending. I intended this to end so that Supernatural could pick up the story line. This is my sorry attempt to explain all of the sexual tension in the show. My beta MrsTripTucker is amazing and really saved me from having some embarrassing moments. Thank you!)