Lily and Calvin were outside Lily's flat. They had gone to dinner then for a walk in the park. Lily still hadn't said anything to James about her going on a date with Calvin or having the divorce papers drawn up. She knew she should and that he would find out sooner or later but she didn't want to. It would make it all seem so real when she told him. She knew it was silly, they had separated a year ago, but she still couldn't bring herself to say to his face that the divorce was going through.
"Well I had a lovely time, thank you," said Lily. She was trying to keep a smile on her face, but it was an effort. She shouldn't have said she would go out with Calvin; she didn't like him that way, he was her friend and she should have known better.
"So did I. I hope we can do this again," said Calvin.
"Hmmmmm," said Lily, turning to unlock the door, she made to go in. "Are you coming in?"
"I'm a gentleman…"
"I didn't mean that," Lily protested.
"I know," he laughed. Then he leaned forward to kiss her, and at the last second Lily turned her head so that he kissed her cheek.
"We'll take it slow. I care too much to rush you into anything," he said, softly into her ear.
"Right…" said Lily hesitantly.
"I'll see you tomorrow," said Calvin, kissing her cheek again and walking away.
"What the hell have I done?" Lily whispered when Calvin was out of sight.
Suddenly she wished that Harry was inside, something about watching her son sleep always soothed Lily when she was thinking over a problem.
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"Mumah," Harry called as James brought him home the next morning. "Mumah."
"Hi baby, I missed you," said Lily, taking Harry and kissing him. "Were you a good boy for your Daddy last night?"
"He was a terror, screaming for breakfast at six in the morning," said James, but he didn't look annoyed, he was smiling.
"Oh you good boy, you gave Daddy a lie in," said Lily, bouncing Harry on her knee.
"A lie in? Six in the bloody morning?"
Lily just laughed. Then they heard Calvin apparate outside and let himself into the flat.
"Cally!" Harry shouted when he saw him.
"Hi little guy," said Calvin, crouching down to Harry's level. "I've brought a present for you." Then he gave Harry a figurine of a Quiddich player that flew around on a broom.
"Ooohhhh," said Harry, gazing at his new toy, flying around.
"Harry, what do you say?" said Lily.
"Hanch choo," said Harry, not taking his eyes off the toy. He meant 'thank you' but he could only say certain words properly.
"You're welcome," said Calvin then he got up and sat down next to Lily. He put his arm round her shoulder and kissed her on the cheek. "Were you just bringing Harry back?"
"Uh… yeah," said James, looking at Lily questioningly.
"Did Lily tell you about us?" asked Calvin.
"No I hadn't," said Lily, silently cursing Calvin for saying anything.
"What about you two?" asked James calmly, but only Lily knew that inside he was livid.
"Uh… don't you have to be at work?" said Lily to Calvin.
"I can stay," he said.
"No you should go," said Lily, all but pushing him out the door.
"Okay," said Calvin. "If you want me…"
"I know," said Lily, quickly slamming the door. She took a deep breath before she went back into the living room. James was sitting in the armchair rubbing his jaw with his hand; he wasn't happy and she knew it.
"What's going on Lily?" he said stiffly.
"It's not what you're thinking, it's not what Calvin made it sound like," said Lily, sitting on the edge of the coffee table so she was looking straight at him.
"Is that why you wanted me to take Harry all night, so you could be… go out with him?"
"Yes."
"You should have told me when you started something with him. I should have been told, I know it's your business but it affects our son so you should have had the decency to tell me," said James, still keeping his voice calm.
"I know I'm sorry, but it just started last night."
"You slept with him on the first date? You really aren't the person you used to be," said James, getting up to go.
"But I… I didn't sleep with him," said Lily, shocked he would think she had.
"Whatever, it's obviously none of my business. Just be careful about what Harry sees okay?" said James, needing to get out of there.
"James…"
"I have to go," he said. He couldn't look at her, he couldn't look at his wife knowing she was with someone else, that she had really moved on. And what was worse, when Lily moved on she moved on with his son.
"Bye bye, Dadda," said Harry innocently, oblivious to what was going on.
"Bye Harry," said James, his voice softening.
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"You are just full of surprises today," said James furiously.
Lily had put Harry to bed an hour ago and James had just shown up at the flat furious and smelling faintly of Firewhiskey.
"Have you been drinking?" hissed Lily, closing over the front door so James wouldn't wake Harry.
"Yeah I have," snapped James. "I got the letter this afternoon, our divorce papers are ready to be signed. I didn't know we had divorce papers."
"I was going to tell you… I didn't think it would be this soon. You must have gotten the reminder," said Lily, hating the way James was looking at her. He was never angry with her anymore, she hated it when he was this mad at her.
"When? When were you going to tell me about it? Around the time you were going to tell me about Calvin? A boyfriend and a divorce in one day."
"James, I'm sorry…"
"Why couldn't you just tell me?"
"I… I don't know."
"You don't even like the guy. You see him as a friend, like you do Sirius and Remus. You're kidding yourself if you think you will ever love him."
"Go home and sober up," said Lily firmly.
"No I want to see my son, to make sure you haven't got any more surprises up your sleeve."
"You are not getting anywhere near him while you're in that state. Go home and come back in the morning," said Lily, slamming the door in his face.
Lily slid down the door tears stinging her eyes. Why did James manage to make her feel worse than anybody else ever could with just one look? And why did she still love him so much? So that night Lily slept in the chair next to her son's crib, she fell asleep watching him sleep.