"We'll Get Through It"
Blink
"I know he's not here, but I know your father is proud of you too."
It all happened in a blink of an eye.
A sudden shift of energy in the room changed.
Just moment ago her heart was filled with such warmth that could only be experienced with the love of a child, her child.
She didn't have to look up; she didn't have to even know how to sense ki to see who appeared in the room.
It was as if he heard them talking about him, and walked into the room like nothing had happened.
Expect too much has happened.
Gokuu was home.
She wasn't looking at her son then, she was looking past him, but she felt as his shoulders became tense under her touch. She tighten her squeeze on his shoulder and when she did muster the courage to look at him; his eyes were narrow, hard, looking away from her and up towards his father.
She couldn't look at Gokuu; she didn't want to believe that he was here.
Her heart wanted to break into a million pieces.
From happiness and sadness.
"Gohan," she heard her husband say, "I—"
She felt her son rip away from her.
And in that moment she felt like the world was ending around her.
In one moment Gokuu was looking at his Grandfather, studying his face, saying his goodbye. In that instance he blinked, closing his eyes for just a split second, and opening them to see his wife and son.
It looked like he walked into something important.
His wife had her hands on his son's shoulders, and Gohan was looking at her in a way he couldn't describe. His eyes were serious, but somewhere deep within those eyes had a little bit of shame in them.
Gokuu could see it. He hated himself for seeing that look in his son's eyes.
Before he could say anything, he saw his son slightly close his eyes, for one long second, and when he looked up at him, his eye were no longer serious, no longer had the shame.
They had anger.
"Gohan," he found his words in his voice. He notices his wife then, looking up at their son, "I—"
Gohan took a step back from his mother. His eyes flashed up and down at his father, alarmed and wild as he took another step back.
Gokuu took a step forward, "Gohan, I want to say that I—"
His son didn't let him finish; he turned towards the kitchen, running towards the back door. Gokuu didn't think then, he just wanted to talk to his son. Using his instance transmission, Gokuu appeared in front of the door, stopping Gohan for exiting, "Gohan, stop! Let me just explain."
Gohan bite his lower lip, no longer looking at his father but looking for a way around him. He shifted his weight towards his right foot, he took a quick step forward, appearing to go towards his right, but in the last second he darted to his left. Seeing his son's strategy, Gokuu was prepared for this movement. He reach out and grabbed both of his son's arms. Gohan's eyes looked up at him, Gokuu stared back at him.
He wasn't holding his son tightly, and he knew that Gohan could pull away if he used a little bit of his power. He was expecting his son to do that, and he was ready for it. As soon as his son ripped away from him, he was going to pull him into a tight hug. He was going to tell his son how sorry he was, how deeply he loved him, and even say the thing he was most afraid to say.
He didn't have to fight anymore.
Instead his son didn't pull away from him.
Gokuu watched as his son's eyes instantly flared up, his cheeks growing red, his body tight and rigged; there was a moment that Gokuu felt like Gohan was a caged animal.
Who was about to break.
Gohan's feet slowly losing their support, giving out from under him, his body slightly hanging in the air from Gokuu's grip. He felt his son's arms starting to shake, he felt his son's ki as it spiked up and down.
Suddenly, his son started to cry.
A sobbing, uncontrollable cry.
It was a sound that Gokuu had never heard before.
His son hung in his arms, his head bowed down; letting his emotions over take him.
Gokuu didn't know what to do. He stood, startled, and completely lost as he watched his son fall apart in his hands.
"Stop," a small voice filled the room. Gokuu looked up to see his wife lean against the doorframe, watching him with a steady eye, "Let go, Gokuu."
Gokuu slowly let his grip go of his son, and the moment his last fingertip left his son's arm; Gohan stood up and bolted out the door. He could feel the door rattle as Gohan shut it behind him, and could feel his son's ki as he took off in the air from the yard.
Wife and husband stood apart in the kitchen, their eyes staring into one another.
There were so many things that Chi-Chi wanted to do to her husband once he came back home. Things might have been different if he had appeared before Gohan had come home.
Yet, seeing her baby react like that, watching her baby crumbling made her look at her husband in a totally different light.
No one hurts her child.
Taking large steps toward her husband, she stared up at him, her eyes narrowed. Suddenly, she slapped her husband across the face as hard as she could. She felt her hand sting at the impact.
Gokuu took it, his face jerked to the side; a light red handprint appeared on his cheek. His face stayed like that, his head to the side, his eyes lowered to the ground. She knew that hit did not hurt him, but she wanted him to hurt. It made her mad that she couldn't.
She turned to walk away, but before she could go, her grabbed her wrist.
"Chi," he said, "I'm sorry."
She turned back around, facing her husband. She felt as his grip tightened around her wrist, "What can I do to make this better?"
"I don't know," she said, softly and honestly, "Saying you're sorry won't fix any of this."
"I know," Gokuu said.
"This family is broken," Chi-Chi finally let the tears fall from her face, she used his free hand to whip them away, "Gohan-chan is out of control, and you keep leaving me," She wanted to stop crying, she couldn't, "I can't do any of this without you," she felt her body shake, she felt the words in their eternity as the left her mouth, "I'm so tried of being alone."
She closed her eyes, bringing her free hand to her face she left her sobs escape her eyes. She felt her body move as her husband gently pulled her to him. She felt as his head rested on top of her head. For a moment, she thought she felt something wet against the top of her head, she lifted her arms, latching onto her husband.
"I'm sorry," she heard him whisper, "I won't leave you again."
Everything in Chi-Chi melted.
Gohan didn't know where he was flying to; all he knew is that he had to fly, and far.
He didn't know how he would feel when he saw his father again. He thought he would be happy, he thought he would be over the moon, he had thought in the last two days that he would hug his father and tell him that he would be strong from now on.
Gohan wasn't strong.
So he ran away.
Thoughts of his parents disappointed in him entered his mind.
Yet, seeing his father again, it brought it something almost inhuman in him.
It was a core emotion that he never felt outside battle before.
He could still hear his heart pounding in his ears.
He tried to blink the tears out of his eyes, yet the moment he closed his eyes and opened them again, Piccolo appeared in front of him, stopping Gohan mid-flight.
Whipping his eyes as quickly as he could, Gohan tried to appear normal in front of his mentor. It was impossible to do so, but he tried. He knew why Piccolo appeared then.
Piccolo always knew when to save him.
The Namek placed his hand on top of Gohan's head, and in that moment, the boy reached for his friend's shirt, bringing his face into his chest and let his tears continue to fall.
He felt Piccolo's body tighten up at his touch, but the Namek didn't pull away.
Gokuu looked down at the ruined desk, the scattered books, and the light burn on the floor. His eyes scanned over Gohan's outburst just a day ago. Chi-Chi had told him the whole story when they were downstairs, but hearing the story and seeing what had happened were two different things.
He didn't know what to make of this.
He felt Chi-Chi eyes on him as he looked over the damaged, "I didn't know about this about Gohan. Did you?"
Gokuu nodded, his eyes not leaving the picture on the ground. He slowly bent down and picked it up, it was a ruined drawing that his son as drawn. The day that he left, he had saw this picture hanging on the desk. It was a picture of the three of them and Piccolo, with the words "My Family" above them.
Now, it just said "-mily" with a himself and Chi-Chi completely burnt off, and a half burnt image of his son, then the full drawing of Piccolo still in tact. He tried to remember what the rest of the picture looked like.
He heard his wife's sharp breaths behind him, "So you are telling me that any time Gohan gets angry, this is going to happen?" She walked in front of him, snatching the picture away from his hands, "How could you not tell me about this? Don't you think I should have known about this?"
"I just got back," Gokuu answered, realizing that was the wrong thing to say, "I mean, from Namek…"
"You've been back long enough to tell me about this," Chi-Chi crumbled the paper in her hands, "Its not something I should have heard from that green giant." She folded her arms, "And he was so upset about it, he stayed out all night last night working who-knows-where to earn money to replace all his books. He's too young to be working like that."
Gokuu blinked, "Really?"
Chi-Chi growled, "Yes, really. I know its such a shock to you to learn that someone is willing to work and take care of this family instead of disappearing to train for Kami-knows what."
Gokuu's eyes widen at that remark.
He knew he had no place to be mad at her for that remark. He hadn't been around to work or provide for the family.
He was training to protect the world. He was trying to protect his family.
Gokuu felt hollow then, "I'm sorry," he slumped his shoulders forward.
The distance between them never felt farther.
"You keep saying you are sorry," Chi-Chi took a step closer to her husband, to the point their faces were only a few inches apart, "But you have yet to do anything about it."
Chi-Chi pulled away, walked past her husband, and shut Gohan's door behind her.
The wife of Gokuu walked into their bedroom, and in an instance she fell into her bed. She curled into a small ball, pressing her knees as tightly as she could into her chest.
She never felt so much bitterness at her husband.
It was eating her up.
She wished she could sense where her son was and go to him. She knew how much Gohan had been hurting, and how he tried to hide all his pain. She was a failure to make him feel he had to hide from her.
Now she knew her husband was keeping secrets about him. The fact that he knew about Gohan's outbursts and never thought to clue her in was like a dagger to the heart.
How many other things was he not telling her?
She heard footsteps from outside her door; she felt as her husband's eyes were watching her. She held onto her body tighter, letting a few tears fall from her face.
"Can I come in?" She heard her husband ask.
She nodded from her bed, and she felt the presents of her husband the moment he entered the room.
He was always like that to her, she could feel the way the room changed when he walked in.
It made her not want to be mad at him.
She felt the end of the bed change in weight as Gokuu sat down. He placed his hand on her ankle, rubbing his thumb against it, a thing he always did when she was mad at him.
It was easy to forgive back then. She wasn't sure if she could forgive him now.
"Chi, I'm sorry I have been gone for so long," he paused for a moment. She lifted her head to see him, he wasn't looking at her, but at the ground, "I feel like I need to tell you what happened, so you know why I didn't come home," he looked at her then, his eyes almost pleading with her, "It was never because I didn't want to come home."
"Then, what was it?" She asked, she wanted to look at him, but looked up at the ceiling instead, "Where have you been, Gokuu-sa?"
He didn't look away from her then, "If something ever happened to you, I literally think my heart would explode."
She glanced back at him then, her eyes wide, "That's how I felt," she let the tears fall from her face, she brought her hand to her heart, "That's how it felt when I found out you died. That's how these last few years have felt, like my heart exploded."
She thought he would look away then, like her husband did whenever they talked like this. He always had a way to retract into himself when something serious was happening. His shoulders always slumped back; he bent his head down, his hand reaching for the back of his head, and his eyes went to the floor. He always pressed inward himself when it came to his feelings.
This time, he leaned closer to her; he searched inside her eyes so she was not able to look away from him. Her husband took the moment to reach into her soul; she felt his hands around it.
"I'm sorry to make you feel that way. I only did it to protect you and Gohan. If I didn't die that day, then my brother would have taken Gohan and most likely destroyed the Earth. I gave up my life so that wouldn't happen."
He moved closer to her, his hand moving up to her knee, he light squeezed it, "I know you know Krillin died on Namek, and Piccolo almost died as well. I knew Frieza was going to kill Gohan too if I didn't stop him. Then, something in me snapped," he looked away from her for a second, as if he was trying to capture the moment in his memory, "Kind of like what happens to Gohan in a way, I just became so enraged, I snapped, I became something else. I don't really understand what—"
"A super saiyan?" Chi-Chi answered for him. She noticed her husband give her a confused expression, she could read in his eyes that he was surprised she knew this, she bent her head down softly, her eyes not leaving his, "Gohan-chan kind of told me about it."
"Oh," he said softly, pausing from his story for just a moment, he lightly squeezed her knee, "Anyway, after I escaped and landed on Yardrat, it took me a long time to get healthy. During that time I was healing, I would randomly transform, and when I did I couldn't control myself. I was in," Gokuu paused, he lowered his head softly, his eyes glancing up at her, "I was in a lot of pain."
Chi-Chi sat up, putting her hand on her husband's shoulder. He softly smiled at the touch, his eyes stayed in hers, "So when I got better, I had to train myself not to transform. When I accidentally patted you on the back and you went through the house? That was nothing. If I didn't train myself to control my power, I would have killed you if that happened. I didn't want to come home until I knew I wouldn't hurt you or Gohan."
"Oh Gokuu-sa," Chi-Chi breathed out his name, "I didn't know all that."
Gokuu shrugged his shoulders, "No one really does. Just the Yardrats I guess."
Chi-Chi smiled at her husband then, "Thank you for telling me."
Gokuu nodded his head, "I want to make all this right Chi-Chi. Will you let me?"
Her hand found its way to her husband's cheek. It was hard to not be near him, to not touch him.
His lips pressed into hers, and it was hard not to be engulfed in that kiss. The room around them raised in temperature, she felt hot as she pulled him to her. Gokuu put his hand into her hair, and gently pushed her back onto the bed.
He climbed on top of her; she felt the weight of her husband on top of her. She felt as his hand started to move past her knee, she felt each finger tip as he slowly moved his hand up her.
Suddenly, in a blink, it felt wrong.
She parted her lips away from him, "Stop."
Gokuu pulled slightly away, he tilted his head to one side, "Chi-Chi?"
"I-," Suddenly the world felt like it was moving too quickly. She sat up, pulling her knees up to her chest and pushing herself to the front of the bed. Gokuu sat up on the edge of the bed. Chi-Chi wrapped her arms against her knees "I can't do this."
"Oh," Gokuu moved slightly back, his shoulders slumping forward, his head bending down, his hand automatically reaching for the back of his neck, "I'm sorry."
Chi-Chi rested her chin against her knees, "I'm just not ready to forgive you right now."
There was nothing else to say.