Now I'm back!
If you are reading Happily ever after, I'm sorry I'm not updating, but I have been looking forward to writing this since I finished the last chapter :D Sorry it hasn't been sooner, but my dad said I was getting 'addicted to the computer' and 'that I should stop before it gets serious'… ^^ I don't know what he means xD But I had to prove him wrong...
Now; here comes the next chapter! ;D
Usually I would have been more than happy to be pulled away from him, I would have been happy that someone took him away from so that he couldn't hurt me, but right now, I was angry. He had lied to me again, and I couldn't take this again, we had done it a hundred times, he hit me, then he got 'so sorry' and was nice to me and told me he loved me, and then he hit me again. But this time it wouldn't be like that. Rory and Vick were still holding Gale and Haymitch had a tight grip of my arms; I shook him off and stepped forward. Haymitch tried to grab my hand again but I pulled it away.
"Don't" I said and looked at him, he looked a little worried, but I ignored it and turned my attention back to Gale, he looked surprised that I didn't squeal and hide as I used to. I took one step towards him. "Now I am tired of this. You did this to yourself Gale, no one else. I loved you more than anything, I-trusted-you." I said everything slowly so that he would listen to me. "I trusted you with my life, I was scared and fragile after everything I have been through, and you didn't understand that. There are only two people who can understand that; Peeta and Haymitch." I said and Gale started to look angry, I got tears to my eyes. "They understand because they were there with me, sure you was there doing the war, but do you know how it is to be thrown in to an arena to kill children, or to then be forced to do exactly as the president says or he will kill all you loved ones, or to be abused by the person you love and trust the most." A single tear run down my cheek, I hated it and dried it away, I was back to being the old me, I didn't like to seem weak in front of other people.
"I'm sor…"
"Never say that you are sorry Gale, never again, then you wouldn't have done it." I said and looked down.
"I am sorry."
"No, you are not." I said and somehow he managed to get away from his brothers again, he grabbed my arms.
"You will still come home with me." he said threatening, then Vick and Rory got him again, he let go of me but I stepped closer to him.
"I am home." I said and then I did something I had wanted to do for a very long time, I raised my hand, and with all the force I could get, I slapped him right in the face. Then I turned around and walked out of the house, I started to walk towards the Victory's village with fast steps, suddenly I heard a voice behind me.
"Hey, wait for me!" It was Haymitch, he was still quite fast and soon he was next to me. "Well done, if you wouldn't have done it, then I would." He said and sounded proud, I smiled a little, it hurt in my cheek but I ignored it. "How is your face?" he asked.
"Not so bad, it has been worse, and I'm used to it, but it will leave a mark, and it will leave Peeta upset." I said and he nodded, there was nothing more to say so we walked the rest of our way home in silence.
"Thank you Haymitch" I said silently before he walked up the stairs to his house, he turned around and looked at me.
"For what?" he asked and sounded confused.
"For letting me finish things with Gale, for being here for me and for letting me hit him." I said and smiled, he smiled back.
"That last part wasn't hard at all." He said and I smiled back.
"One of the best things I have done in a long time." I said, he grinned and then he went in, slowly I walked the last 100 meters to my house, when I came in I just sat down at a chair. I had no idea what to do, and it was a little more than an hour until Peeta would come home.
I started to think about what I had done. If Gale would find me now, he would kill me, I had tried to defend myself a few times, but now I really got to hit him, and he didn't even had the possibility to defend himself, but then I remembered all the horrible thing he had done to me and it felt good again. I could just hope that they would keep him locked in and not let him out of the house. He had lied to me again, I was used to it, but still it hurt every time, he had promised me so many times that he loved me and that he never would hit me again, but as always, he lied.
I never understood how Gale was thinking when he started hitting me, and did he really think that I would apologize him just like that. If I would ever meet him again, I would be dead, he would hurt me so much that no one could never recognize me, he would probably rape me over and over again, in the woods where no one could find us, no one could hear me scream for help. The thought panicked me so much that I had to think about something else, but it was too late, everything that was on my mind was all the memories from Gale, hurting me, over and over again. I had no idea what I had done wrong in the first place, we argued sometimes but when he started hitting me it got serious, and now I hated him.
I sat there thinking about what he had done to me and what he would do to me if we met, and suddenly our wedding came in to my mind again. We were happy, I wanted to go back to that time, or even further back and change that I ever left with him, I would have wanted to stay in district 12 from the very beginning, but it is too late now.
I heard a sound and turned around, it was the door that opened, I had been sitting in the kitchen, crying for several hours now, and when I heard the door, I fast dried away the tears, I didn't want to seem weak, like I couldn't handle Gale, but when I saw who it was it didn't matter anymore, it was the only person who could see me cry. When he looked at me, and saw the tears in my face he just opened his arms, I got up and walked over to him without hesitation. He pulled me into a big hug and I started to cry against his shoulder, he didn't ask anything, he didn't say anything, he was just holding me.
After about 15 minutes of crying I stepped back, he looked at me and I saw concern in his eyes, then he saw the mark on my cheek and he looked understanding.
"You have talked to Gale." He didn't say it as a question, he just said it. I nodded and he hugged me again. "It's okay, you're safe now." He said with a calming voice. I just sniffled into his shoulder a few more times before I stepped back and dried the tears away from my face. I hated to cry. "What did he do to you?" Peeta asked and looked at me.
"Apologized…" I saw in his face that he was about to say that it was a good thing, because I hadn't told him that it happened a lot. "…again." I continued. He looked a little confused. "He used to do that, hit me, apologize, and hit me again." I said with a totally humorless smile. "But you get used to it."
"Skip the apologize part and I know what it's like…" he said and I got reminded that he had been hit too. I didn't know what to say, but before I could think, I said;
"What was your mother like?" then I realized that he maybe didn't want to talk about it like I didn't want to talk about Gale… "You don't have to answer if you don't want to." I added and looked down. I felt his hand on my cheek and he made me look at him again.
"I'll tell you, I want to tell my whole life story to you, but can we sit down?" he asked and I nodded. He sat down and I put on some tea for us. I sat down across from him and he looked at me.
"First of all you have to understand that my mother was a horrible person…" he started but I cut him off.
"I know, I knew her, and I think I know what a horrible person is…" I said and he smiled little and looked down.
"Of course." He said and then he started "She was mean, she often hit me and my brothers, the best thing she knew was gossip and she hated almost everyone, and still, somehow, I loved her." he said and looked at me. First I couldn't understand it, how he could have loved her, but then I realized that you just love your mother, I had always loved my mother too, even if I didn't trust her, I still loved her. Peeta continued. "She started hitting us when I was about four years old. I don't remember the time before that, how it was, but my brother said that they missed that time." He sighed and I could see that he missed his brothers. I had no idea what to say, but the tea was ready so I got up from my chair and pour two cups of tea to us and put on the table. He took a sip from the tea and started talking again. "I remember once, I must have been around six years old and I dropped a bread at the floor, my mom got crazy, she hit me and my dad just looked away, he hated when she hit us, but there was nothing he could do, he was too kind."
"Like you." I said.
"Huh?" he didn't hear me.
"Like you, you are too kind too." I said and looked at him. He didn't answer anything; he just continued telling me about his family.
"Yeah, so of course I started crying and run to my room, that night I got no dinner, because she thought that I didn't deserve it after what I had done." We were silent for a few seconds; his mother threw away his food, when there were a lot of people starving out in the district.
"She was horrible." I didn't know if it was the right thing to say but it just slipped out of my mouth, and it was Peeta, he would never do anything bad to me anyway. He nodded once.
"You know that time, with the bread and you…" he started and I nodded, "because it wasn't a Capitol memory, right?" he said.
"No Peeta, it was real." I said and remembered the game we had played with him after he came back from the Capitol. He smiled a little too.
"When she saw that dropped the breads in the fire she came to me screaming about hoe I did everything wrong and that I didn't even could take out some bread from the oven. She slapped me in the face but probably thought it wasn't enough, because then she took a rolling pin and hit me with it, that's why I had pretty ugly marks a long time after that. After I had tossed you the breads and went back inside, I felt horrible, I should have gone out in the rain to you and not tossed them like to some animal, but right then I was just scared of my mother."
"Peeta it saved my family's life, it doesn't matter how I got them, and you saved my life." I said and he smiled a little.
"And I'm very glad I did. When I came inside my dad was staring at me, and I realized that he had seen that I gave the bread to you, but he just smiled and looked proud."
"Your dad was a good person." I said. "Just like you." He smiled.
"I got most of my personality from my dad, my oldest brother, Jacob got his from mom and Declan was somewhere in the middle." He smiled.
"What was your brothers like?" I asked.
"They were always nice to me, even if Jacob quite easily became angry. We were always joking, and they always teased me because they knew that I loved you and they thought I was lame. They loved me and I loved them, but they didn't love me enough to take my place at the reaping like you did…" he stopped when he realized that I probably still wasn't over Prim, and to be honest I hadn't said her name for a long time, but I thought about her every day. "Anyway, I wouldn't have let them go instead of me anyway, I wanted to protect you." He said, I was waiting for the uncomfortable feeling that usually came when he said things like that to come, but it didn't, I just felt loved and not alone, and there was something more, something I wasn't sure I had ever felt before.
Hope you liked it :) I didn't but I'm too lazy to rewrite it, so more will come in the next chapter ;)
I want to apologize so much!
First the update sucks, and then I give you a short chapter… But I'm quite busy now, and I feel like I have no inspiration at all… So if you have any ideas, please share them with me!
The update will probably be a little bad now for a while, but soon it is Christmas and then I'll have time again xD
Hope you liked it!
And you know that I love reviews ^^
/FanficFanny