To Have and To Hold
Chapter 10
It was nothing short of a miracle that Hannah was even able to go home so soon. It had been four days since she had been shot. Mike had tried desperately to convince Christine to go home but she wouldn't leave Hannah's side, even once she had started doing better. And by default; Mike stayed. If he didn't, Christine wouldn't have rested properly. He was exhausted and he wasn't ill.
Aside from a lot of pain; Hannah had no ill effects from being shot. Tom and Andrea had brought Mike's truck to him so that he could get himself, Christine and Hannah home when it was time. Hannah's voice was a little iffy and she was on a steady diet of soup; already asking for Christine's potato soup and more of Andrea's chicken noodle soup. Lexi and Charlie had also brought them all ice cream one day which had been a huge hit with Hannah. Charlie's bear had stayed with Hannah at all times and even once they had her in the wheelchair to take her home; she had ahold of it. Mike had told her the story behind it and he could tell that it had broken Hannah's heart.
Hannah had groaned with every bump Mike hit on the way home. Taking care of roads and infrastructure in general was not a priority anymore so it was not the smoothest ride. About half way home, Hannah fell into a drug induced sleep in the back seat. Christine looked back at her and smiled.
"Kind of reminds me of bringing her home from the hospital after we had her. Such a good baby. I remember watching her sleeping and worrying that she would wake up." Christine said with a smile.
"It was January in Rhode Island. I remember being terrified of hitting a patch of ice. You and Hannah were in the backseat, what fourteen hours after having her? I remember just wanting to get you girls home." Mike agreed.
"Your mom and dad had Hilary for the week. Thought it would be good for us to have the time with Hannah. And once we got home; it was great. It gave us time to bond with her, figure out her little personality. We had the same time with both Hilary and Lucas. When we had him; they watched the girls for us." Christine added.
"It was three of the happiest weeks in my life. I have worried about it; we are…busy now and when Andrea has our little guy; I am worried our other kids will feel neglected, especially Lexi. She is just not sure of this baby thing and we never intended on having another after her." Mike admitted.
"Well, if I am around to help, I will. And besides, you know what causes that right? I am pretty certain you and I have had conversations about birth control in the past; I would bet you and Andrea have too." Christine teased.
"We have and there won't be any more after this one. We are not even certain we will be doing any more fostering." Mike told her.
"Why? Your kids that you have adopted adore you and Andrea." Christine asked.
"They are good kids and I adore them but I don't feel its fair to them to take anymore. I need to concentrate on developing a bond with the triplets, and getting to know Hilary and Hannah again. Not to mention, I still need to be a good dad to the four we have adopted and to Lexi and this new baby. Plus, Andrea and I have trouble not getting too attached to the kids when we foster them; hence four adopted kids." Mike told her.
"Mike, I am proud of you for doing what you and Andrea have. You have taken four kids who either haven't ever been really loved or have no one anymore; and shown them love and acceptance despite their histories. I only know Charlie's history but it is heart breaking." Christine stated.
"The other three have heartbreaking stories too. Dana was severely abused, both physically and sexually by her family; and some of the foster homes she has been in were no better. Despite that, when you and the kids moved in; she figured that one of them would be moving elsewhere. Begged me to let it be her. Her theory was that she had had a good couple years with us and it was all kids like her deserved. Wanted Allie, Paul and Charlie to experience what she had had for longer. Allie's family was pretty good but they all died during the Red Flu. I think she might be immune to the Red Flu because when she was found, she had been sitting next to their bodies for days, possibly weeks. She has some serious survivor's guilt going on. I actually try to go to therapy with her because she sees me as a kindred soul, given everything. Then Paul, his family were bad into drugs before the Red Flu. Spent the first six weeks of his life in a hospital due to being a drug baby. He was put directly into the state's custody and was in various foster homes until he was adopted when he was three. That family died during the Red Flu. Paul is severely dyslexic, has ADHD and asthma. His eyes are also pretty bad and the doctors tell us that he is legally blind in his right eye." Mike filled her in.
"You've taken in children that are unwanted by anyone else. Makes our kids and their issues seem minor. They are healthy, well-adjusted and normal." Christine stated.
"I don't take that for granted either. Not after all this." Mike stated. Hannah having been shot had shaken Mike to his core. More, because he had believed the absolute worst about her before she was shot. It had told him that he needed to spend more time with both of his oldest daughters. He truly didn't know them.
"Mike, stop beating yourself up. You are practically bonding with the older girls all over again. It takes time and is painful but I have no doubt; it'll happen. Staying with us the last couple days meant a lot to Hannah. Me too. I know that you could have gone home at any point but you didn't." Christine told him.
"I just feel badly. She had good intentions but I misconstrued them. Doesn't say much for me as a parent." Mike admitted and Christine nodded. They were almost home and Mike didn't want Hannah to overhear anything.
"I thought the same things. I will say, I am glad to be home. I've missed sleeping in a bed and seeing the triplets. I've missed them." Christine admitted. Andrea had not been able to bring them to visit and Mike and Christine had both missed them.
"Me too." Mike agreed as he pulled in. Christine leaned back and shook Hannah's knee to wake her. Mike would have to help her into the house and potentially over to the guesthouse. They both got out of the truck and Mike helped Hannah out of the truck. She was small enough that he could have easily carried her but knew she wanted the independence. They slowly made their way into the house and as soon as they walked in, the younger kids all ran for them.
"Okay, guys; let them get a breath. Hannah, Christine? Do you want to sit down?" Andrea asked and they both nodded at her. As soon as they were settled, Charlie jumped up next to Christine; not even allowing the triplets a chance. Mike could tell it bothered Maggie and Katie so he sat down in the recliner and pulled them both into a hug to distract them.
"He'll move in a minute and you can give Mommy a hug." Mike promised the two girls. They didn't seem very sure so he cuddled them. Tyler was a bit more independent and was 'helping' Andrea in the kitchen. Hilary was not getting off work until four thirty and Dana, Allie and Paul had an after-school program. Lexi was playing on the floor with her toys and had smiled brightly at Mike. She was used to vying for attention and had learned to just wait her turn. The triplets; especially Katie and Maggie were struggling and having both their parents and an older sister gone for four days was rough for them.
"I missed Mommy." Katie said quietly and Mike nodded. The tears were gathering in her eyes and Maggie's chin and lower lip was quivering.
"Alright. Hey, Charlie; come here, buddy? Katie and Maggie want hugs from their mommy." Mike told him and Charlie jumped up and instead of going to Mike; sat down on the floor next to Lexi, apparently to play. Maggie and Katie made a run for Christine and Tyler ran in from the kitchen to get his hug. It gave Mike an opportunity to check in with Andrea who was cooking dinner. He walked up behind her and wrapped both arms around her. Their baby gave him a sharp kick and Andrea laughed.
"He is definitely making his presence known." Andrea told him as she turned around in his arms and gave him a kiss.
"I am ready for him to make his appearance. I know we still have over six weeks to go though and I don't want him here too early. How are you feeling? If I remember right, from Lexi; this point in your pregnancy is rough." Mike asked.
"My ankles are twice their normal size and I am tired constantly. I still need to get the crib together too. I also desperately need to do some baby shopping unless we are planning on him being naked aside from his diaper constantly." Andrea told him.
"Well, I can handle the crib and I will give your feet and ankles a rub down tonight." Mike offered and Andrea smiled.
"That sounds nice. The kids all have school tomorrow and Sarah will be here for Lexi and Charlie. I would really like a day out with you tomorrow." Andrea asked. She rarely asked Mike for anything and Mike knew; she was feeling slightly neglected.
"I think that can be arranged. Hannah will be alright with Christine." Mike agreed and she nodded.
"Hilary was a huge help. I really don't think I would have been able to handle things without her. I am going to miss her going back to the guesthouse. She was asking me about the Navy last night. I think she is thinking about it, to help her with nursing school. I told her we would help her but she is thinking about it. Said she wasn't going to do anything until…Christine passed. I don't think she wants to stress her. I told her that she will need to talk to you about it too." Andrea told him.
"I don't know how I feel about that. I've not been the family member left at home before, let alone a parent of a servicemember. Its…I'm just not sure." Mike admitted.
"Just support her whatever decision she makes. Hilary doesn't want to be a burden and doesn't want you to have to pay for her education. She also wants to give you a chance with the triplets and is afraid that if she sticks around, even still going to college, they will still defer to her…after. I think you need to make a point to take her out for lunch or something this week. Just some one on one time." Andrea instructed and Mike nodded.
"Makes sense. You okay with me having spent so much time with Christine? I know you walked in the other day and found us in a weird…position." Mike asked.
"At first…I was a little miffed but I am really trying to see this from Christine's perspective. You were her husband first and I am kind of the 'other woman' only with a wedding band. If I was in her shoes; I would be intensely jealous. She doesn't seem to be and I think as things progress, she will be reaching out to you more. I am okay with that…or I have to be anyway." Andrea told him and Mike pulled her into another hug.
"You tell me if something makes you uncomfortable? I don't want you to feel…slid onto a back burner." Mike asked.
"I am though, Mike. My mom died from cancer and at the end; she…she remembered things and it was like she lived in another time. When she and my dad were young, newly married. She took a lot of comfort from that. They were divorced and so my dad didn't do any of the things that Mom needed. I think Christine will probably do the same thing. She will revert back to a time that she was really happy. Back to when it was you and her. That might mean that you have to…hold her, kiss her, even sleep next to her. I want her to have the comfort that my mom didn't get from my dad. Like I've said, I know you still love her and she loves you. It is really important that you do this. And I will get you back." Andrea told him quietly as she smoothed her hands over his shoulders.
"I do love you." Mike stated because he didn't know what else to say. Andrea definitely deserved a lot more. Most wives in her situation would have been angry and heartbroken.
"I love you too." Andrea told him before giving him a long kiss. Lexi came into the kitchen and was pulling on Mike's pant leg, wanting his attention.
"How's Daddy's baby girl? I've missed you." Mike asked the little girl as he picked her up and kissed her chubby cheek.
"I missed you too! Can you tuck me in tonight? Hilary did last night but she didn't tuck my blankets tight enough." Lexi told him as she snuggled close.
"You bet, sweet pea. Tight as a bug in a rug!" Mike told her as he carried her into the living room.
"Mike, I forgot to tell you, we don't have a roommate anymore. Charlie had Sarah and Hilary move his bed into Paul and Tyler's room. He has done really well." Andrea filled him in and Mike was shocked.
"Wow. That's…huge. No nightmares?" Mike asked.
"None. He has missed his bear but otherwise; he is good. Hilary had an old one of hers that she let him 'borrow.' Told him you had gotten it for her. I think that helped him." Andrea told him and Mike sat down on one of the barstools with Lexi on his lap.
"I really figured that seeing Hannah get shot would really set him back." Mike admitted. He was actually a bit saddened by Charlie's sudden independence. He would miss having the little boy in the walk-in closet.
"I spoke with the therapist. She said it might actually have been a good thing, not so much seeing her hurt but seeing his biological dad carried out by the police. Said that it made it clear that he wouldn't ever come back. He feels safe. He has talked and even asked yesterday about going to school with Tyler. And Tyler has been a huge help with him. They have really become 'battle buddies.'" Andrea told him. Mike looked into the living room where Tyler and Charlie were playing with toy cars on the floor. The two little boys had become fast friends and Mike was thankful.
"And how has Paul handled that?" Mike asked. Paul truly struggled and he and Charlie were buddies.
"Dana has helped a lot with Paul. He might be a little jealous but seems to be handling it. I offered him his own room but he said he didn't want to be lonely and he would be if he was by himself. I also spoke with his teacher. She is trying a new curriculum with him and has had a lot of success. Paul got a hundred on his spelling test. She has never had a dyslexic kid do that. Says he has a photographic memory. Her concern is that he will memorize things and not actually comprehend them but we'll cross that bridge." Andrea told him as she stirred the chicken soup.
"Great!" Mike stated as he watched the kids.
"Allie had a rough day in therapy yesterday. Her therapist said she thought it was because you weren't there. You…steady her? That's what the therapist says anyway. She did have a bad nightmare last night…I ended up with a roommate." Andrea told him and Mike nodded. It was why he went to Allie's therapy with her. If he didn't, she had nightmares after.
"I'll talk to her when she gets home. See if I can talk her through it. And Dana?" Mike asked.
"She is a jewel. She and Hilary have gotten close." Andrea told him.
"Good." Mike answered.
"They are all adjusting to each other. Katie and Maggie have really missed Christine. They did ask about having a sleep over at the guest house. Told them I would leave that up to you and Christine. I think it's a good idea but I also know that Christine will be monitoring Hannah pretty closely." Andrea continued.
"I will mention it to Christine. I think it's a good idea. I imagine Hilary will be over there too so she can help. I wonder if Tyler will want to?" Mike asked and Andrea shrugged.
"Not sure. Probably but who knows." Andrea stated just as Hilary walked in the front door. She was excited to see her mom and sisters and gave them all hugs. As Mike watched her, he could see how she could be a good sailor. It was not a path he had intended on any of his kids taking but he would support her.
"Hey, Daddy." Hilary said as she gave him a hug and kissed Lexi's cheek. The little girl jumped into her arms and began playing with her stethoscope.
"Hey, sweetie. Andrea told me you were a huge help. Thank you." Mike said as he pulled her back.
"Its what family does. Not such a big deal. You and Mom needed to be with Hannah and Andrea needed help. Plus, I got lots of cuddles with Lexi!" Hilary said as she bounced Lexi up and down after Mike had released her.
"Well, that is certainly a good pay-off. Thanks again. I love you." Mike said as he stood up and kissed Hilary's forehead.
"I love you too. Supper smells good. Do you need help, Andrea?" Hilary asked.
"I think I am good. Once the girls get here; I'll have them set the table and we will be good to go." Andrea said.
"The bus just pulled in." Mike stated as he walked out to the porch to greet the three kids. He immediately was hugged. He could see the exhaustion on Allie's face from her nightmare the night before. Dana and Paul looked happy to see him. Allie and Paul gave him a hug but he knew better than to expect one from Dana; no matter how happy she seemed. In the three years that they had her; she had only given Mike one hug and maybe two kisses on the cheek. It was an invisible line Mike didn't cross and the only thing he could hope for was that Dana knew that she was loved. She was a little more free with her hugs with the kids and Andrea but was still very reserved. Mike also hoped that someday; she opened herself up to love and affection. She was deserving of it.
Andrea had supper on the table and Hilary had the table set when Mike and the kids came back in. Supper was subdued and Christine had insisted that the triplets spend the night with her at the guesthouse. It made for a quiet evening for Mike and Andrea. He gave the kids kisses before they walked over and Christine promised to call if she needed anything. It gave Mike a breather that he didn't even realize that he needed. He gave Andrea her requested foot rub after the kids were in bed and they made plans for the next day.
"I was thinking I wanted to eat lunch at the Brazilian Grill that we went to on our anniversary?" Andrea asked as Mike rubbed her feet and legs down with lotion.
"Sounds good. I liked that place a lot." Mike agreed.
"Its also close to the baby store. We have all the necessary furniture and a car seat but I need to check the expiration date on it. Mostly, we need clothes and accessories for him. Since we never foster babies, I just don't have that stuff." Andrea added.
"I'll put the crib and changing table back together tomorrow evening. Since we don't have Charlie in here now; are we going to have the baby in with us?" Mike asked.
"I think we will put his crib and furniture in one of the bedrooms but we will have a bassinet in here with us. We need to decide on a name." Andrea stated.
"What ones did you have in mind?" Mike asked. It was a discussion that they had been in before Hannah had been shot.
"I like either Christopher or Christian. For a middle name; I like Matthew or Logan." Andrea told him as Mike finished up.
"So, Christopher Matthew or Christopher Logan? Or Christian Matthew or Christian Logan?" Mike asked.
"I'm leaning towards Christopher Logan. Regardless of rather Christine delivers him; I like the idea of naming our baby after her." Andrea stated. They were getting ready for bed and for the first time in several days; Mike settled into the comfortable bed and signed in relief. Andrea was more uncomfortable but cuddled close to Mike.
"I know she doesn't expect it and I would like to keep his name a surprise for her. It will mean a lot to her." Mike said as he wrapped himself around Andrea and put a hand on her belly.
"Exactly. Go to sleep, Mike. You're exhausted. I love you." Andrea said as she gave him a kiss.
"Good plan. I love you too." Mike agreed with a yawn. He leaned over and shut the bedside lamp off and settled, falling asleep very quickly.
I know it seems like a filler chapter! I did want to give a bit of a background on the foster kids that Mike and Andrea took in as well as some memories for Mike and Christine. Sorry it took so long to get it wrote! I have been working 70-hour weeks and had to plan and pull off a huge banquet and service.