NOTE: I think I'm going to take a long break…My muses seem to be dimming and I've lost most inspiration I have depended on. I think due to my abrupt lack of activities I am this way…I don't know. What I do know is I don't feel as if my writing is going anywhere and that certain things are no longer tying into my very core of deceit for this series. I also feel like I'm taking this too slow as do a few perturbed anonymous people whom I have deleted their vulgar comments. So this chapter may be the last one I'll write in a long time…I really hope it's not and perhaps it won't be…I am just speaking hypothetically to a point of great possibility.
Also I would like everyone to note that I've been dropping a lot of hints as to the fate of many characters in this story. A name's meaning here, and underlying talk there…so if you're curious and trying to decipher this story that I assure you is not all as it appears, try to read the chapters again and see if you could pick them up. Adieu!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
…If Only For A Little While…
The fight, our fight held years of anger and betrayal. Both of us hated the other for all different reasons and some of those the same. What fueled us, what made us push each other to our near breaking points, was a rivalry so primal and bred into our system that it bordered on the edge of spitefulness, though not entirely there yet. What I do know is this fight was more than just claiming the cherry blossom but to denounce any existence of friendship we ever had, to denounce all memories associated with the other…though the memories I once shared, became vague and blurred to the point of my questioning how we became friends in the first place…
I could not remember.
Why couldn't I remember? Am I too concerned about killing Itachi that anything not concerning him was a memory I erased? But then again…I could not recall why I came to hate him, I just knew I did. In fact, everything I did was out of hate and that is what has fueled me for the past years. Everything I hated…everything but Sakura. I remember everything about her and often found myself lusting for anything about her. So why was it, it was only her that I remembered and no one else?
I know I care for her…perhaps more than I should. It is weak to succumb to my emotions-so why do I feel at peace when I allow myself to indulge in such sinful products such as those?
Emotions are for the weak…
"Sakura-"
"Shut up Kakashi. We're nearly there."
"You should've left me to die, where you found me." His voice was cracked and riddled with immeasurable pain. Sakura had healed him to her greatest capacity, but because of her previous use of chalkra on and against others, she only had twenty-five percent to work with and she feared that she hadn't closed the wound properly and judging by his voice, she was correct in her assumption.
She sighed as she struggled with his weight pressed upon her shoulders. She could vividly recall what happened when she stumbled across him….
"No!"
Kakashi's bloodied body was sprawled on the freshly cut grass and he wasn't responsive to anything around him.
She fell ungracefully to her knees and went to check for a pulse silently praying there would be one.
"C'mon-" she whispered as she searched for the pulse spot and to her great relief, she felt the weak pulse still pumping stubbornly yet slowly dying. "Hold on Kaka-sama"
She furrowed her brows in deep concentration. Everything around her became non-exsistant save for Kakashi and her. Soon her hands traveled down his chest to his abdomen and unconsciously they pulled the material away from the gaping wound. Sweat beaded from her brows as she felt strands of her pink chalkra seep elegantly through the wound and she saw what the strands saw. Clearly she could see his twisted insides spewing blood everywhere and in whichever organ the blood could claim and instead of feeling queasy she felt calm with a completely blank mind and allowed her chalkra sense take complete control.
Meticulously, the strands wove in and out of holes closing them and then moving on to other gapes. Other strands gathered the access blood and redirected it out of the body and into a pool near Sakura's knees. Mumbling she performed a blood-replenishing jitsu as soon as the holes were closed and began to disinfect the wounds before rapidly closing up the muscle tissue and epidermis.
She knew she did a poor job, had she more chalkra she could've easily done a better one taking more time to perfect each wound…
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"You're weak."
Those words stung her like a viper's venomous bite. How those words popped up accompanied by the cold voice speaking them she didn't know nor wanted to dwell upon. Yet she couldn't rip them away either. To some extent they became her savior words, they made her work harder than ever to disprove that statement. She trained everyday, and it became her addiction to the point of her unyielding for break until she felt that the set technique to remember for that day was flawlessly done and powerfully executed. And before long, those words faded but not the feeling to disprove them-everyone- of the weak kuniochi they became accustomed to. And soon she showed everyone just how great a fighter and medi-nin she became. She was the only ninja to not possess a family trait handed down from generations…and that's what caught Tsunade's attention, because she, like her, had no trait to rely upon either. Just an abnormal strength and that is among the first things the Hokage taught her.
But what the Hokage couldn't teach her properly was controlling your emotions and strengthening your mind more so than just medical procedures. Aleia had become her mentor for that. She had taught her everything there is to know about simple mind control and emotional procedures; how to act in many situations- to become stoic despite a waging inferno of emotions welling inside of you twisting your gut unpleasantly. What Aleia taught was unforgettable, that despite missions, you can have emotions ruling your life as long as you have complete control over them. Showing emotions is a trait not designed for the weak- that those trying to avoid said things were just denying the truth of what will always remain there. Because of her, Sakura found peace and a person she could truly look up to and know she would never betray her…ever.
Aleia her mentor, her confidant, her sister-figure and her rock was everything to her. Aleia, perhaps the most devoted fighter to Konoha inspired her to do some good in the world. To not give up in a seemingly calloused place no matter how dark; to persevere even in times of doubt.
Aliea the ever faithful Jounin…
"What's the point in helping people, when others destroy? The whole entire world is evil full of deceit and cruel manipulators so what's the point in doing anything good when in the end, it doesn't even matter?" Sakura crossed her arms and fell ungracefully onto Aleia's leather couch, her face was contorted with anger.
Aleia only laughed as she exited the kitchen with two steaming cups of tea before sitting down next to Sakura.
"I'm serious Aleia!" Sakura bit hostilly towards the smiling woman, mad at her for being so happy when she was not. She felt like a child at the moment, being laughed at for believing that there was a monster in the closet.
"Sakura it is precisely why we help others."
Sakura showed a mask of utter confusion and annoyance thinking she was not making any sense.
"No matter how hard anyone tries there will be evil people in this world, and so will there be good. It's the whole yin yang concept to balance out the universe. You can't have good without the bad, the chocolate without the vanilla, or night without the day."
"But what's the point?" Sakura seethed as she waved her hands, "why even bother when it's guaranteed to be there in the morning when you wake up?"
"The point is that when you wake up in the morning good will be there as well. And those good people who fight against evil everyday hold true and spur others into following their path. That as long as there is one soul in pain they would be there to help the soul find its way." There was a brief pause as Aleia looked forward with her brows furrowed in thought and she began to talk with more conviction,
"Even if all hope is lost and evil seems to be winning the battle, good no matter in what form it currently holds, will always be there if not, to bring hope to others. To avenge those who couldn't defend themselves. The ideal is always there Sakura, and with ideals come those who devote themselves to reaching them."
"Do you believe in that?" Sakura wanted to hit herself for such an obvious question and waited to hear Aleia laugh at her, but she didn't. Instead she saw deep trepidation marring her features,
"I try to attain it Sakura, though in all honesty, I have failed in reaching it many times. However; as long as I try, I feel that I am good, but knowing if I do give up, I will essentially become what I loathe. That is what I believe Sakura."
"You know what I believe?"
"Tell me"
"I believe you are the best good-guy around. That no matter what, you'll never stray from your morals. I believe in you Aleia and focus myself to try to be as great as you-"
"-You are setting me up to be some god Sakura. I am not as you perceive me to be, nor do I think will ever attain what you see of me. Try not to set yourself up for disappointment and become your own person and no other, never aspire to be some one else because in the end you will fail."
"But-"
"-nothing." Aleia stood up with her untouched tea and walked into the kitchen, "I am going on a mission that could very well kill me Sakura, and will be gone for a year if I manage to live. In this time I suggest you pull away from your fantasies and live up to your expectations of yourself and train to your fullest capacities and beyond. If I return I expect you to reach Jounin status."
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Sakura spent that year dating Naruto and working her ass off training to her near breaking point and beyond. She began training with Kakashi on every aspect of his sharnigan eye so as to become immune incase Sasuke chose to show his face near Konoha and strengthened her mind to a point where even the famous copy ninja could no longer predict and perform her moves.
In that short year, she became the strongest and smartest kuniochi ever to live in Konoha. It was mostly in part of Aleia and her absence that helped her become this way and in other aspects she had to give credit towards Sasuke as well.
Sasuke…She wondered if she still had feelings for him like she did six years ago and in some aspects she did. She cared for his well-being and for only a mila-second did she feel butterflies in her stomach upon first glance. He was, after all; her first love. But she had moved on right? Naruto was the exact opposite of Sasuke and never denied his feelings towards her. He made her feel wanted, loved and everything she could ever expect from a lover…
Then why do I feel like I do when I'm around Naruto and the same for Sasuke? I couldn't love him…ever again, not after what he did…I think
"Learn every mistake you did, and move on. Wars are forever waged, valuable seconds are never returned, forever lost, hope wavers, life darkens, but it's your ability to continue on when others do not that sets you aside from the rest, and knowing this, life seems more bearable if only for a little while."
I am not perfect, I believe I have firmly established that countless times, but I feel the need to reiterate it if not for others, but for myself. I've always lived my life with what I just spoke it prompted me to live in situations where I should've died and helped me through my darkest times. I will never compromise myself or others to attain materialistic goals…
never.
This I promise to myself and others…but now that theory seems to wane as I face the toughest obstacle to my goal, my father. Will I be able to execute this fully? Cheveyo-Zev thinks so as he rightly claims that no others save for the ones involved, know. I just hope I can endure long enough for it to unfurl.
So I repeat with more conviction,
"Learn every mistake you did, and move on. Wars are forever waged, valuable seconds are never returned, forever lost, hope wavers, life darkens, but it's your ability to continue on when others do not that sets you aside from the rest, and knowing this, life seems more bearable if only for a little while."
No matter how dark everything seems, I shall continue because that is what I do best. I face the worst and live for another round. I live through the pain because the pain lives through me.
I cannot escape who or what I am, and I have no intention of doing so. Running proves nothing, but standing straight and facing whatever may come speaks volumes.
I am Kana and Aleia, daughter of the snake demon, and possessor of the strongest and most lethal weapon unknown to man. I was born into damnation and will die into damnation, but what I do between then is all my own doing, fate only takes part in the ending and even then I'll be damned if I allow it to control me…