Cursed
I still feel bad about what I did to Allen in the last chapter. *Cries*. Well here goes nothing, the song for this chapter Just Smile Forever by Ferexes (watch?v=gU7idmrF7Oo) from youtube
InsanityOwl- Reason why no one has found out what Kanda has done to Allen now twice…Well that's because Kanda is lying to everyone making, basically making it seem like Allen is over reacting and foreshadowing for later chapters. Kanda will eventually get it coming to him but I dunno if I am going to have it done by Allen himself or by one of the Noah's. By the way I loved your comment, I kind of died laughing. I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction. You made my day ^_^
I laid in the office like usual for the past three days starring up at the ceilings. I was a grown up and I was trying to figure how. The last I remember was that mean Kanda doing something horrible to me, running to that glowing Hevlaska lady before I managed to get here. Last I checked I was a kid during all of that, so how is it that here I am a grown up…well…a 16 year old. That Road lady explained to me that I had gotten a head injury from those people from the Black Order ambushing Tyki and I which resulted in acute amnesia. She then continued to explain to me that in hopes to protect me from Kanda she turned me into a kid, but sadly that still didn't stop him. Road felt bad for it, but I told her it was okay and that Karma would soon bite him in the ass. The entire three days though I wasn't allowed to see Tyki for some reason and I made it my vendetta to throw a fit since it was obvious we were lovers. That thought still didn't sit well with me since I was still living in my mind of a 7 or 8 year old and love just sounded so icky to me. Beside that though every time I would look at the ring he gave me I couldn't help but want to run to him.
"I'm going for a walk." I suddenly stated giving Papa Adam no room for argument before getting out the door and shutting it behind me. I leaned against it hearing him sigh in frustration but he made no sounds that he was going to come after me. Everyone knew they couldn't hold me against my will from looking for Tyki and wanting to talk to him. I knew he could answer some of my unanswered questions. Road had explained to me that they told him about my condition and that he was told to avoid me. Knowing that pissed me off and I only let out a sigh beginning my way down the hallway.
"Allen." I stopped and looked up to see Cross standing there, he too was a vague memory of mine. Even this person named Mana was a blur.
"No I still don't remember, but I can't stay locked away in that office every day and all day trying to force myself to retain my lost memories. My best option is be around those I lost around those I forgot." I immediately began to explain the answer to the question I knew he was silently asking me.
"You were advised not push yourself or rush things, but you being the baka Minarai that you are…I can't blame you, it was never in your nature to just sit around." He said a small gentle smirk on his face. I just stared at him flashes of my younger self with white hair being thrown into fights with Akuma nearly dying at times. I felt myself wince and lower my head into my now raised hand.
"Idiot what did I just say! You're only going to hurt yourself forcing yourself!" He snapped and I felt hands on my shoulders.
"I can't help it! When I look to certain people at certain times during certain emotions the flashes just come!" I whimpered lowering myself to my knees as my head hurt more and other flashes came.
"So you want me to attack you?" He asks and I nod my head.
"Like I am your enemy no mercy and I also want you to use Grave of Maria to disorient me and subdue me…in any way possible." I explain my hands were loosely at my sides.
"I don't know why you're asking me but so be it. I will not be held responsible for any damage left on you." He snaps and I find a smirk dancing on my face.
"Shi…shou…" I managed to choke out.
"Stop pushing yourself so hard Allen. You have all the time in the world just stop!" Cross snapped shaking me a bit.
"Cross he said he couldn't help it." I heard Devits voice snap as two sets of feet walked up.
"Yea Cross, if he said the flashes suddenly come on then that's the reason he isn't pushing himself." Jasdero said next.
"Hey Allen, most of us in the ark have lived pretty harsh lives, actually everyone in the ark has lived harsh lives. You, the worst of them and you're still living it. Keep this in mind being here weird things are bound to happen. This place will answer the questions that have been rendered unanswered your whole life." Devit began looking right at me.
"He's right Allen, so keep in mind on whether or not you're ready for the answers. You might or might not like them. So let's go down and meet up with Tyki before he throws everyone into another heart attack!" Jasdero laughed and I couldn't help but laugh with him as the two of them each grabbed one of my hands lifting me to my feet and we headed inside.
"The Ark…the Ark wants me to remember that's why I'm always having flashes near everyone! Is that why Papa Adam keeps me locked up because he knows this is happening?" I ask lifting my head up a bit to stare at Cross. His eyes were full of so much worry, it only made me feel worst.
"Well looks like he remembers what we told him the day of the incident and with his odd dreams." Devit said walking over and gently grabbed me by each of my upper arms helping me stand to my feet.
"Well maybe the Ark knows that he needs his memories. It knows everything and will always show one of us something if it knows it may help in our situation." Jasdero said after smacking Devit in the back of the head for who knows what reason causing a fight between the two of them.
"Now, now you two settle down!" Cross groaned in annoyance stepping forward to try and break the both of them up only to get involved himself in the fight. I rolled my eyes and walked off, you would think that since Cross was an adult he'd be more mature, nope he was far from it. I found myself at I guess my favorite spot in the Ark which was the highest point. It looked over everything. I leaned against the pole that came out of the cone shaped roof. There was a gentle breeze in here and it blew against my face. I close my eyes seeing a long lost memory of my mother and I.
"Mama, why don't your smiles ever reach your eyes?" I ask sitting on the counter watching her cook dinner.
"Kokoro, why do you always ask such strange questions?" She asks.
"Are they really that strange? I mean you smile but your eyes always hold sadness and I just want to know why! It's the same with papa. Has something bad happened?" I ask once more. Mama sets the stirring spoon onto the counter before coming over to me and wrapping her arms around me. Her blond hair wasn't in her loose pony tail today.
"Kokoro just always know that no matter what happens…Papa and I will always love you. There may come a day when you can't be with us for your own safety." She said squeezing me slightly before going back to cooking. I just sat there watching her for a moment before turning my head and staring out the window blankly.
"Lulu Bell…Our son is starring out the window strangely again. What did you day to him?"
I opened my eyes feeling the slow tears tumble down my cheeks. It felt like a fist collided into my chest knocking the breath from my lungs. I forced myself from starting to rock back and forth as I dug my fingers into my hair. Left and right images flooded my head, left and right I heard voices from my past and from my present. I could feel the wind beginning to pick up around me, almost like it was beginning to spiral around me, but that was probably because I couldn't breathe. My left hand grabbed onto my shirt in the spot directly over my heart as it began to pound.
"It's time we need to take him somewhere safe. To London, he should be fine there." The man named Adam said hugging the boy placing his hand over his eyes.
"No, don't send me away!" I recognized the child like voice.
"Mama?! Papa?!" Kokoro began to panic.
"Why?" I heard my very young child like voice ask
"Shh everything will be okay. Maybe one day we'll be able to see one another." The woman said kissing the boys forehead.
"No it won't! I'm only going to be in more danger!" My child side cried hysterically grabbing onto his red hair.
"Mama! Mama!" The boy's vision was consumed and he saw as memories were slowly disappearing.
"LISTEN TO ME PLEASE! I BEG YOU DON'T LEAVE ME!" The child screamed and I suddenly felt pain running through me. My eyes were snapped open and I saw I was floating above the pole surrounded in that green glow.
"MAMA!"
"Why….why won't you hear me!" He sounded numb.
"It was just a dream, only a dream Allen."
"No it wasn't Tyki! It never is just a dream! You know nothing!" The child screamed his eyes beginning to turn to hate. I began to panic. I pressed my free hand to my forehead trying to escape whatever I was in. I could hear people yelling for me. I couldn't pull away.
"Allen, I want us to be forever. I want you and me to stay together forever. I pray Roads' theory of you possibly becoming a Noah is true. I would be so happy."
"LIAR! YOU'RE LYING JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM!" I felt the tears falling faster from what my younger self was screaming.
"You know I will always keep him safe."
"WHERE WERE YOU WHEN KANDA RAPED ME BOTH TIMES!" He screamed and I began shaking my head violently beginning to say back in my mind for him to stop. My words went on deaf ears.
"Yes, we'll be together forever. And this ring will always connect us Allen, even when we're not by one another's side."
"HOW DOES A PIECE OF METAL CONNECT ANYONE!" He shouted and I felt my heart beginning to shatter wandering if these were my inner thoughts. I knew this couldn't be it, that ring helped me open that Ark Door. I began to try harder to shout for him to stop. I could feel that wind around me pick up in speed.
"YOU GOT HURT AND LEFT ME ALONE! I HA…"
"STOP IT!" I finally screamed out feeling a rush come from me suddenly as the wind abruptly stopped and I was falling from the sky. I was no longer near the roof that I had been sitting on.
"ALLEN!" I feel arms wrap around me before this person and I are crashing through a roof to another building. My hands immediately darted up to my head and tangled into my hair.
"Your wrong! They love us very much! They protect us the best they can! Stop this stop…stop being angry please!" I cried even though it was to the small boy in my head. I knew he was me. I clamped my eyes shut and let the darkness over take me when I felt the pull. I slumped back into the chest of the person who had caught me. I stood on a black pool of water wearing white Arabian like pants and a white plain shirt. White ribbons swirled gently out of the water and I began to hear sobbing. I followed the sobbing until I came up to the boy who was so angry and so sad.
"You forgot…you forgot who you were! So how can you know anything?!" The boy shouted staring at me with such hate filled eyes. My eyes softened as I knelt down onto my knees and smiled sadly at him.
"It's because I forgot that I know. I know the pain of losing those precious to you. I know the pain of always wandering why my parents never wanted me. But you know, it's not because they hated us like the circus always made us believe." I said and watched as Red slowly began to calm down.
"Then if it wasn't because they hated us…then why? Why did they abandon us?!" He cried, I could only let out a heavy breath as I looked at my reflection in the black pool of water.
"They didn't abandon us. They left us in hopes that we'd forever stay safe in a life of no danger. They had no clue that we'd go through the things that we did. They didn't know that suppressing our memories would put us into even more danger. Mama Lulu Bell and Papa Adam love us very much and they would really love to have another chance." I explain looking up at Red as I did.
"I want another chance at having a normal life and make up for the one I never got to have. You'd be able to have that chance to. You just have to trust me." I said holding my arms open to him. The eerie green glow no long frightened me; the black pool was completely lit by the light when the last word finally slipped past my lips.
"Asking me to trust you is like you're saying you never trusted yourself." Red said standing there with his head tilted and a blank look in his eyes.
"You're right, after the first time Kanda hurt us…I stopped trusting myself. You know though, Tyki loves us and because of that love he has shown me that not everyone is evil like Kanda." I said and a smile finally appeared onto Reds face.
"Then I shall finally become your original Innocence so that you can finally be able to defend yourself." He said running at me and wrapped his arms around my neck in a hug. My arms enclosed around him in hug as well and slowly he vanished and the glowing green pool of water engulfed me. I felt a sense of peace enter me as I floated in the water and it soon spiraled around me before rushing at me and hitting me in the chest until it vanished within me as well. It never once hurt all I could feel was a warm feeling that relaxed me.
I was going to be okay.
Tyki's POV:
I wasn't allowed to move by Lord Millennium's word as I sat her in the somewhat demolished room with a green glowing Allen laying on me. We had no idea what was happening when we saw him floating in the air a whirlwind spinning around him and him glowing like that. The moment though when he began to fall, I didn't care about myself! I jumped from the balcony we were all on and caught him even though we still crashed into a room. Road was pacing back and forth in the room crying in hysterics because she wasn't able to get into Allens mind to see what was going on. All we knew was that he was in some sort of battle with himself.
"Ty…ki?" My eyes widen and I looked down to see Allen smiling up at me. He was not glowing anymore and his eyes no longer held that confusion. He was back, or at least I prayed that he was.
"Allen?!" I practically shrieked allowing him to shift on me so he was leaning his head back but looking straight at me. I pushed my fingers into his hair hoping he wouldn't flinch like that morning after he had gotten back, but he didn't flinch.
"I'm going to be okay. I'm home." He said and I couldn't help the tears that fell from my eyes as I chocked back my own sob before pulling him into my arms. I felt another pair of arms wrap around us and I knew it was Road. She had been just as worried as I had been lately.
"Adam how is he?!" I heard Lulu Bells' panicked voice, she had finally returned from getting the medical kit.
"He's awake, and he's okay." I heard the Earl answer. After a few moments Allen forced himself from our holds sitting back on his knees looking up at Lulu Bell and Adam.
"Allen…what happened? Are you okay?" Lulu Bell asked she was still crying but she was smiling at seeing Allen awake and safe, for once her smile had reached her eyes. I could tell she was still trying to hold onto her persona that Allen was no longer Kokoro and would probably never remember her. But what happened next rendered us all silent in shock.
"Your smile….it finally reached your eyes." He said and we watched as Lulu Bells eyes widened in shock as well as the Earls' own eyes. She stepped towards Allen, we all knew she was unsure on what to say.
"Ko…Kokoro?" She asked in a hopeful voice.
"Yea…I'm finally home mama." He smiled and I couldn't help my own smile when Lulu Bell clutched onto Allen with a death grip happy sobs coming from her as she held onto him. The Earl soon joined them also hugging onto Allen his smile also finally reaching his eyes.
"Tyki…this changes everything. Not only is he an accommodator but he is also a Noah, which Noah I'm not sure but still he is one of us." Road said and I smiled shacking my head.
"He is neither an accommodator nor a Noah." I said leaning back against the wall behind me pulling my pack of cigarettes out lighting it as I took a drag from it.
"What do you mean Tyki?" She asked sitting next to me also sitting back against the wall watching the family finally reunite with one another.
"He is the Heart, more precious than any one Exorcist or any one Noah. He is the key to changing this very world. And he says he's the lucky one to have me. No…I'm lucky to have him in my life." I said and just continued to smile.
Well there you go guys! Chapter 10! I am so happy with myself with this chapter! It such a bittersweet happiness! It makes me all giggly inside. I hope you enjoyed it and from now on Allen will be kicking ass once again!