It was 3:13 am and both Bella and Jacob were asleep. Somewhere, 5 hours previously Edward had stopped at a gas station purchasing a very tourist inspired t-shirt. The streetlights illuminated the vehicle quickly, every couple seconds, classical music hung lightly in the air of the cabin. Edward drove faster now, seeing as both of the other passengers were asleep, and therefore could not yell at him to slow down. Honestly he drove faster, not to get to his destination sooner, but because he was a little bit miffed.
When the three of them climbed into the car, Edward took the drivers seat and Jacob took the back so that Bella could have shotgun. She sat in the back next to Jacob. This wouldn't have bothered him as much, but he could hear Jacobs's thoughts very clearly. The wolf was going over Bella's 'fine' appearance in his head, and when she hugged him to say she missed him, Jakes heart soared. Edward tried to block those thoughts out.
And now, in the back seat, Bella was leaning against Jacob, his arm around her shoulders. They looked like a real couple. Edward hated it.
So he continued to drive faster, and faster, until the outside world was simply a massive blur of night. The back seat stirred.
Bella blinked slowly, obviously still half asleep; she leaned forward in her seat after untangling her from Jacobs warm embrace. Her petite hands tapped Edward's shoulder.
"Yeah?" he said softly, not wanting to wake up Jake.
"How much further until the next town?" she asked sleepily, yawning midway through the sentence.
"About ten miles, why?" She rested her head on the shoulder of his seat.
"I need a human moment." She was still mostly in dreamland, but the way she said something that reminded him of their past, made him smile. It was like four years ago.
"We'll be there in about five minutes." He turned his head to look at her and was surprised at how close she was. If he were an inch closer, it would hardly be a stretch to kiss her. Her eyes were closed and she was simply resting. Leaned forward and head on the chair in front of her; she fell asleep again with the one who loved her pressing his lips against her forehead.
Four minutes later, Edward pulled into the parking lot of a 24hour convenience store in a small town off the highway. He took off his seatbelt and went around to Bella's side, opening the door and nudging her.
"Bella, wake up. We're here." She swatted away his arm lazily.
"Dad, I don't want to go." Edward looked at her amusedly. Oh humans and their dreams. He stroked her hair, enjoying having her presence without the fury and hatred seen in her eyes.
"Not another therapist." She said sadly, "They can't fix me." Edward pulled his hand away from her, as if she burned him. A weight came crashing down on him. She had to see therapists? He had ruined her that much? His knees gave out as he realized the extent of damage he'd caused her. Grabbing fistfuls of his hair he moaned, dry sobbing.
He'd hurt the one he loved most. Sure he loved his family, but not nearly as much as Bella. He would die for her. Edward felt for the woman so much, that even when he was with her his heart ached with an overflow of feeling. And now, the only thing he'd ever cared for more than anything in his entire hundred some years of existence, was in pain, and it was his fault. He really was a monster, but this time it wasn't because of his species.
Bella woke up slowly to see Edward on the ground in front of her opened car door, rocking and shaking his head.
"Edward?" she asked groggily, wondering what he was doing down there. He looked up at her with pain. She became worried. "W-what is it, what happened? Are you okay?" he just shook his head again.
"Bella…" he croaked, he didn't deserve to know such an amazing woman. It's hard to find angels in hell. He finally found one, and he pulled her wings off. She stumbled out of the car and put her hand on his shoulder.
"I hurt you. I deeply and truly hurt you." He said keeping direct eye contact. He was serious and she could tell there was no lying, or changing the subject. Her sleepiness wore off slowly.
"Yes." Her voice was small and cracked. She finally admitted it; and to him of all people. His head hung down.
"I didn't mean to. I just wanted you to be happy, like a normal human." He held her gaze again. " I thought, that maybe if I wasn't there you would be safer. You would meet someone else, get married, have children, and grow old…" Bella was frowning now, but he continued.
"I didn't mean any of the things I said, about not wanting you. I love you so much, Bella. It literally hurts. I only left you to give you a chance, at a real life. I knew I didn't deserve you." Edward stopped talking and watched for Bella's reaction. Slowly the frown grew. And she replied in a very unexpected way.
"So now you're mister Noble. Didn't I get a choice? Didn't I get to have a say in that. What if I didn't want to meet someone else? What if I only wanted you? Well it doesn't matter, because apparently everyone else gets to make my decisions for me, I don't get to have an opinion. I didn't want you to leave. Ever. But you did; twice. So obviously I'm not good enough to keep you around for long. So don't try making up excuses for why you left. I already told you that I don't mind that you said those things when you left, but don't pretend that they didn't happen, or that you didn't mean them." She huffed, angry and hurt. She stood up suddenly, leaving the vampire on the pavement and stormed into the store.
Edward picked himself up, wondering how he could get her to believe him. He needed to let her know that she was everything to him. Sitting in the driver's seat he waited for her to return.
Few minutes later she climbed into the back seat and slammed the door, causing Edward to flinch, and Jacob to jolt, then resume sleeping. Bella shook the bottle she had in her hand and popped two pills out of it. She had obviously purchased it in the store. Swallowing them along with a large gulp of water, she glared at Edward before settling back into Jacob's chest and arms. Edward recognised the tablets as a common sleeping pill. She was out within minutes, and Edward drove at ridiculous speeds.
The normal thirteen and a half hour drive, took eight.
I'll post again soon hopefully. I'm not really sure though. This whole '9 ½ ' hours of school thing, with the whole 4 hours of homework plan, are not really that groovy. I'm definitely not digging it.
I get my new macbook pro on Tuesday! Woo!
Review please!