"Did they confirm what I told you earlier?" River asks as the green whats-it leaps onto her outstretched arm. She pulls it close to her chest, gently scratching behind tiny ears as all eyes turn back to the Doctor.
"That and more. In fact, this rather dashing fellow here just told me the main site is only a few minutes to the north as the crow flies." The brilliantly red whats-it lets out an emphatic trill and settles down authoritatively on top of the Doctor's head, curling its long tail in a loose spiral on his shoulder.
"What are these things, exactly, aside from your scouting crew?" Rose asks the blue whats-it nibbles at the ends of her fingers. She's briefly reminded of her favorite creature from the Harry Potter book series. "Would you mind terribly if I called you Arnold?" she murmurs, and the whats-it purls in response.
"She says she wouldn't, and it's a lovely name," the Doctor answers. "And I don't actually know what they are, as I've never been here before, and neither has anyone else for that matter."
"Well," says River, "whatever they are, they certainly seem to like you." As about ten of the creatures are still contentedly chittering away while sitting or hanging in various spots all over the Doctor, Rose has to agree.
"Everyone likes me! Well, except for those things that don't of course, but who likes them anyway, especially when we've got our new whats-it friends here."
Something the Doctor said clicks in Rose's memory suddenly. "Hang on," she interrupts, transferring her whats-it to her shoulder so as to free up her hands. "What site? Doctor, you said no one uses this planet for anything for at least two centuries from now; you said no one's even been here before. What kind of site could be here if that's the case? Is this what you and River were talking about earlier, because I'm a bit lost?"
"River, can you take this one? I want to do a quick scan from the TARDIS, and I need to grab a few things before we set off."
He flashes a quick smile at Rose, his eyes bright with sudden excitement as he dashes off without waiting for an answer. Most of the whats-its jump off the Doctor, startled by his sudden departure, but the red one chitters excitedly and clings tightly to the Doctor's hair.
Rose can just make out his reply of, "I know you didn't say crow, but there's not a word for what you described, Ferdinand, and I just don't think they would've understood!" before he and the tiny creature disappear inside and the TARDIS door swings shut.
Rose turns to River. "Ferdinand?"
"I've learned there are some things you just don't question with that man if you want to keep some portion of your sanity." River's long-suffering tone makes Rose break out in a tiny burst of giggles before she remembers their current conundrum.
"So what site is he talking about? Is this why we're here?"
River eyes Rose speculatively for a moment before answering, "I would call it a coincidence if it weren't for the fact that the Doctor is involved. When I saw all the crossing timelines and realized I needed to relocate our meeting today, I decided on this planet due to its distinct lack of a critical population of any sort."
River reaches toward the nearest tree, allowing her whats-it to scamper up and join the others. Seeing its comrades abandon ship, Rose's whats-it gives her hand a farewell nuzzle and takes off after the group.
"To be on the safe side, I did some surface scans before the Doctor arrived in case anything might be amiss. Turns out I was right."
River pulls out a device that looks like nothing so much as a rather complicated, handheld game system. She taps in a combination of keys then hands the device to Rose so she can read the information on the display.
A map glows with several colored symbols all set against a faint green grid. River points to a tiny blue dot near the southeast corner of the map.
"That's the TARDIS there, along with our current position on the map. This black area is the clearing, and the faint turquoise line snaking around is a creek, easy to cross and thankfully not a river. I don't fancy having a swim today."
She moves her finger, pointing out several red, orange, and yellow dots on the screen. "And these are all the sites I've found, facilities of some sort or housing barracks, but I can't be sure."
"So, what you're saying is that you originally picked this planet because it was uninhabited, but once you realized it wasn't you thought it would still be a good idea? Why?" River gives her an enigmatic smile, waiting silently and patiently. And then it clicks.
"You figured the excitement of an investigation might snap him out of his depression, didn't you?"
"Right in one," River smiles and taps a red dot particularly close to the blue square on the map. "And this is the main site the Doctor's new friend told him about. Should be a short walk in that direction past the creek." She points northward then glances back at Rose who is suppressing a smile. "What is it?"
"Well," Rose explains, the grin on her face widening as memories flash through her mind, "I'm having a rather strange sense of déjà vu, you see."
"How do you mean?" River asks as Rose hands the device back. She shuts it off and pockets it before leaning back against the tree, eyes on Rose.
"A couple of regenerations back, the Doctor kept trying to take me to see what he called 'the fourth great and bountiful human empire,' only every time he did, things were never what he said they'd be: aliens taking over Earth was usually the problem, just various degrees of bad really. The second time actually ended up nearly getting both of us and our other friend killed. Actually did kill our other friend for a little while, and the Doctor…Well, you know how he does." A faint memory, no more than a flash of golden light and a glimpse of a kiss, passes through Rose's mind, but she pushes it aside.
"It's just funny, don't you think? Now we're on a planet that's supposed to be completely free of sentient life, as the Doctor put it, and there are numerous sites that shouldn't exist."
A tiny smile is pulling at the corners of River's mouth now. "Like I said, if it didn't involve the Doctor, I'd call it coincidence."
"Wonderful news, everyone! After a rather lengthy and tedious argument, Ferdinand and I have finally agreed to call our new friends the Friendly League of United Forest Sentinels, or FLUFS for short. Ferdinand, of course, is the Lord High Honorable Potentate, and I get to be Minister of Transportation and Humor, though not at the same time because that would be silly. What do you think?"
Both women turn at the sound of the Doctor's voice, and both are immediately struck utterly speechless by his appearance.
The Doctor poses, leaning in what Rose is sure he thinks of as a casual yet striking manner against the corner of the TARDIS with his arms crossed. In place of his usual stuffy Oxford professor attire, he is now clothed head to toe in British colonial safari gear from his many-pocketed, belted khaki jacket (from under which his red bow tie cheerfully peeks) to his authentic British pith helmet on which his red FLUFS is currently sitting. He's even managed to find some rather interesting knee-high leather boots into which he's tucked his khaki pants.
He retrieves a monocle from the top pocket of his jacket and screws it into one eye before straightening up and tugging down the bottom hem of his jacket. "All ready now, shall we set off then? Oh, and what's a coincidence?"
Author's Note: Had some issues naming the whats-its, so many thanks to DeDe324, lastincurableromantic, and OTHCharmfan who gave me fantastic advice and listened to me whine; btw, all three of these awesome folks are fantastic writers with some pretty fabulous stories of their own, and you should go check them out. Also many thanks to lastincurableromantic for supplying my favorite lines in this whole chapter and letting me use them! At this point in the original writing process, I finally figured out a) who the bad guy in this story is; b) that this story needed, y'know, an actual plot; and c) how the whole thing is going to end.
And you thought I knew what I was doing the whole time…
Thanks so much for reading, and please take just a moment to leave a little something in the box on your way out.