Sorry it's been so long since i wrote anything i just couldn't figure out where i wanted this to go Enjoy and reveiw

BPOV

I have learned that no matter how good a friend they are,
Your going to hurt them every once in a while
And you must hope they forgive you for that.

Monday and Tuesday went by too fast for my liking. By the time I knew it, it was Wednesday and everyone was boarding the plane for the 8 hour ride to Jacksonville. I was nervous as all hell. I haven't really seen Renee since she left and I really can't stand what she did to Charlie and me.

Edward must have thought I was scared of flying cause he sat there holding my hand the whole time. I felt safe even if I wasn't scared and was just freaking out about being around Renee for so long. Even when I did come stay the month in the summer, she would keep my money coming. I didn't really see her that much during my stay. I had made friends with a teammate of Phil's, his son Tony. We spent most of the time together; it was kind of a deal like Jake and me. We would have fun while I was there and text each other once in awhile when I was back home. I think that's what worried me more then seeing my mom. I haven't been with anyone in three months cause I was always with Edward and did right for my boys (James and Jacob) as I have always called them. What would Tony think if I showed up with pretty much all the guys I've been with as well as all my great friends? Tony knows about all my friends as well as who I've been with, but my friends know nothing about him other than that our parents forced us to go out the first time I came down here.

I hope the guys don't go all 'big brother' on him. That's what was nice about him, they didn't get the chance to scare him off or tell him I didn't always act this way. I could just have fun partying, do whatever I wanted without having them worry over me. I know it all sounds selfish of me, but it was nice for one month, every summer, to drink as much as I wanted, do a few lines of coke, or get as high as I wanted to without having to hide it all from them.

I must have fallen asleep cause I felt someone shake me lightly. I opened my eyes just a little to see that it was Jake shaking me.

"Bells we're here. Edward told me to wake you while he got your bags since I wouldn't get them myself. I like my balls where they are," he said laughing a little.

I jumped up after Jake told me. I didn't want Edward to do things for me. It made me feel helpless and I'm sure that's why Jake wouldn't do it. I have never liked anyone babying me. All the boys have gotten yelled at many times over it because, for some reason they think us girls can't do it for ourselves. Alice and Rose enjoy it, but not me.

Making my way to where everyone was standing, I noticed that Jasper and Emmett were shaking their heads. I glared at them then at Edward. Stepping right in front of him, I ripped my bags from his hand then walked away while he looked confused as fuck.

"I told you just to let her get them herself," I heard Em say and everyone agreed.

I got to the doors just as I heard my name being called, but it surely wasn't who I thought it was going to be. Instead of Renee or Phil picking us up, it was Tony. I couldn't help myself; I ran over to him jumped in his arms and hugged him for dear life. Why I did it, I'm not sure.

"Who the hell is that?" I heard Emmett's booming voice.

"Put her down now," I heard from Edward next.

Tony put me down and I looked at everyone. They all looked confused and the boys looked ready to kill. I have to make this right and fast.

"Guy this is Tony and Tony this is--," but Tony cut me off with his hand pointing to each of my friends and naming them until he got to Edward. He looked to me for help. I hadn't told him about Edward and once again not sure why. I'd talked to him a few times since Edward moved to Forks. I told Tony who he was, but my friends still didn't look happy so I quickly told them Tony was the guy I went out with for Renee and then they all knew who he was.

We all made it out to the SUV while all the guys were shooting question after question at Tony. How he knew me, how close we were and last but not least, leave it to Emmett to ask if we ever slept together. Tony was doing good keeping the answers short and sweet, but then when he got asked that he just didn't know what to say. He opened his mouth then shut it several times. He honestly looked like a fish out of water and if it would have been any other time, I would have been laughing my ass off, but I could see all the guys staring at him waiting for the answer and getting more pissed as the seconds went by. It was not good with four good size men staring down this one guy that was only 5'8 and maybe 150 lbs. I stepped between them since we were all just standing there. I didn't know what I would say if I told them the truth, Big brothers would most definitely come out and like I said, I really didn't want that to happen. Just as I was about to say something, Em decided to slap Tony on his back and laugh, which got everyone else laughing and the tension broke.

"Damn dude you looked like a fish," Em said as he climbed in the car.

Everyone else piled in and we were off so at least for now that was over. For some reason I didn't think it was over for good, but I'll handle it when the time came.

When we pulled up the Renee's house, she was already standing at the door waiting on us. She knew everyone from when she was still in Forks, but this was the first time she had seen any of them since she left. She come running up and grabbed everyone in a hug, crying about how it's been too long and they should have come sooner. I just rolled my eyes at her. She was never thE parent that all the kids liked, she was just another parent to set rules and then break them when she felt fit. With Alice being the charmer that she was, she told her yes it has been too long and they all are sorry for that. Renee was pleased and pushed us all into the house where Phil was waiting. Most of the time I wanted to punch him when I saw him. I guess I really should talk to them about knowing that since they were together before she left us.

Luckily we didn't have to stay there long. After an hour everyone was ready to get to the beach house for peace and quite, so Tony dropped us off. I didn't ask him to stay which I'm sure he wanted, but that's just not my life anymore. I love Edward and I'm faithful to him even if we aren't together.

Where am I am? How much have I had to drink? That's all I could think.

We decide it would be a good idea to go out to a local bar. Yes I know none of us are old enough to be in a bar, but when all us girls are together dressed to go out and have fun, bartenders are too busy looking at our chest to look at our I.D. so that's just what we did; Dress to kill.

Me, in every guys wet dream come true, a short pink plaid skirt, white corset that made it so I couldn't breathe and my tits about to fall out, and fuck me black Mary Jane high heels. Rose in a plain black short skirt, a tight red corset that was cut right between her breast with a thin strap holding it, and red fuck me heels, and Alice in a short polka dot dress that is white with pink dots. It just barely covered her ass and just had a tie in the middle of her back then around her neck, and all put together with white knee high boots. The guys were all in nice pants and shirts unbuttoned with wife beaters under them. We all looked good.

Now I have no clue where I was. I'm sure I'm still at the bar because it's loud and smoky, with bodies pressed together everywhere. We all have been drinking steady all night. For me, Jack on the rocks and for everybody else, cherry bombs. I'm not really sure how many I've had, but I can't believe I'm still standing in these shoes. Wait. Where are my shoes and why am I upside down? Next thing I know I'm in the water. When I look up, Edward is standing there laughing at me. So that fucker just threw me in the ocean. God does he look good.

I'm not sure if it's the drinks or that the moment seems good, but I walk up to him grab the front of his shirt and kiss him. To my surprise he kisses my back, but it has to be how much he has had to drink, he only likes me as a friend. He picks me up and I quickly wrap my legs around him. I'm going to enjoy this moment for as long as I can. No reason to feel bad about it if he regrets it in the morning, I'll blame it on the alcohol. Next thing I know, we're lying on the beach with Edward hovering above me with his hands all over me. Everywhere he touched felt like it was on fire. He kept telling my how much he wanted me and for now I would believe it. He slowly pulled my lace boy shorts down my legs, while I pulled his pants down, when suddenly he stopped me. It really didn't shock me. I was waiting for him to realize what he was doing and that he didn't want it, but I was hoping that he wouldn't, that I could have this night with him to show him I wanted him and loved him. But he stood me up threw me over his shoulder again and started towards the house.

"Bella I'm not having you for the first time on a beach," Edward told me

He said first time like there will be more after this night. I want to hope, but it'll hurt too much when this is over so I just nodded. When he got to the house he threw me on the bed, unzips his pants and comes back between my legs. I can feel how hard he is and I can feel my wetness running down my legs then he slides in with ease.

When I woke up the next morning my first thought is of my pounding head the next is that I'm naked in bed. Oh shit what did I do? Sitting up slowly I wrap the sheet around me and look to my left. No one is there, but I can tell someone was. I look around the room for any clues when it hits me. I shared a room with Edward. I hear the shower running and it all comes back to me. Edward throwing me in the ocean, me kissing Edward and Edward fucking me. Why did I let this happen? How did I let myself get so out of control? Edward doesn't want me. I stumble out of bed and throw on a tank top and sport style shorts with flip-flops. I pick up my cell phone and leave the room. I can't face him knowing that it was a mistake. I quietly sneak out the sliding glass door. Dialing the one person that I know won't ask any questions. I tell them where I am at and for him to come get me. I hang up knowing I've got about a half an hour before they show up. I wonder up the beach to the spot I told them to pick me up and just zone out.

The honking of the horn pulls me out of the zone I was in. I'm numb, I'm shutting down, and I'm not thinking about what happened. I'm going to have to, but not right now. I jump in the car, turn to Tony and ask if he's got any coke. When he hands it to me I do a quick line and tell him to drive to his house. I have clothes there that I can change into so I'm presentable for the viewing today.

I would have to face everyone today. I just want to crawl in a hole and deal with nothing, but I have to be there for grams. She'll be disappointed that I'm messed up, but happy I'm there for her today. I'll be the one to tell everyone to celebrate her life not morn her death. She would want us to think of the good not the bad and live our lives to the fullest.

Tony doesn't ask me anything hell we don't even talk. I shower and change then we head to the church. Renee is there crying. I want to laugh, I want to dance, but mostly, I don't want to cry. I hug her and she doesn't want to let go. When I look behind her I see all my friends standing there, looking like they want to rip me limb from limb. I hurt them again, but I didn't mean to. When I finally pull away from Renee, Tony is there pushing me toward the seats. I lock eyes with Edward, but what I saw wasn't at all what I thought it would be, he looked like he was going to kill Tony.

Why does it have to be like this?

There ya go the next chapter hope you enjoyed and please review it'll make me write faster