Here you are!
So this chapter is a build up to finding out whats going on (for the Hidden Leaf Shinobi anyway)
There will be an Akatsuki cameo (and you can probably guess who it is) later on to help explain the plot line to poor Naruto and his friends.
Also is there anyone in particular people are wanting to be paired?
Let me know in a PM or review if there is.
Anyway, enjoy!

It was a boring day.
The kind of day where you could do something if you wanted to, but there wasn't really anything special going on to motivate you in the first place.
And if there is no reason to do something, why do it?
That's what Shikamaru thought anyway…
Choji wasn't really up to doing anything today, having indigestion from eating too much the day before.
No festivals or special events were taking place so there was no need to get all excited.
It was too nice a day to play shogi, but not enough clouds in the sky to cloud watch.
There just seemed to be absolutely nothing at all to do.
Troublesome… That's what it was.
Instead of training as he probably should be, he decided a walk around the village couldn't hurt.
Perhaps he would even visit Ino, she did owe him money after all… And she still had to return his shirt that she had borrowed from him two weeks ago.
He shook his head and sighed.
What was it with girls wanting to wear guys clothes?
They didn't buy male clothing for themselves but for some reason liked borrowing their friends or partners shirts.
For what reason he couldn't fathom.
Not to mention how clumsy Ino was, no doubt if he left it with her for too long it would come back torn or with a stain on it.
And as usual, she would have no idea as to how it got there.
This was a mystery in itself because her wardrobe was immaculately clean… She must wear his clothes over the top of hers to keep them that way.
Shikamaru felt his eye twitch.
Yes… He would have to pay Ino a visit.

As it turned out, he didn't need to.
Despite being a highly trained and intelligent jounin, Shikamaru felt a little embarrassed to be caught off guard so easily and dragged into a side street.
His shadows bound his attacker immediately but he had to sigh and release them upon seeing his team mate constricted within their hold.
Fighting off his irritation as he deemed it too troublesome an emotion, Shikamaru looked at her quizzically.
Ino looked as though she had tossed herself off a cliff to see if she would live.
Her normally neat hair stuck out at all ends and had several twigs sticking out here and there, some of her clothes (or what little she wore) was torn and ripped and not to mention the scratches on her cheek that would usually have her bawling her eyes out.
Yup… She definitely wore his clothes over the top of hers.
Only this time it looks as though his shirt had been torn off doing whatever it was she had been doing, leaving her clothes and skin defenseless.
He dreaded to think what had happened to that shirt…
Instead of crying about her appearance as he expected, Ino was holding her hands over her mouth and looking very much like she was trying to prevent herself from sneezing.
Shikamaru briefly wondered if she was an imposter.
After all… Weirder things had happened.
A tug on his long sleeves bought him back to the present and had him gazing down at his team mate.
Ino was giggling it seemed, not sneezing, in fact she was giggling so hard it looked as though her jaws would lock up.

"Shikamaru… You will never believe what I just saw…"

Not really putting much stock into anything Ino had to say, Shikamaru listened half heartedly as she told her tale.
At first he didn't find anything very unusual about Sai and Naruto talking about a frog other than the fact that Ino was watching them do it in the first place.
Then it got weirder.
He wasn't quite sure how much he wanted to know – not having any say in Naruto or Sais love life but being uncharacteristically intrigued at the same time.
Yet… The more Ino spoke the more his ears burned…
Just before it got too much to bear, the tale finished and he was able to resist gagging.
Yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck….
He put a hand to his head to steady himself, positive that rumors of Naruto and Sais…. Endeavors, had knocked 30 points off his IQ.

"Ino," he began, "why are you telling me this?"

Ino looked as though she had been slapped in the face.
Who in their right mind WOULDN'T want to know about what she had just seen?
Everyone needed to know about it!
She just so happened to run into Shikamaru on her way to tell Sakura.
The medic nin needed to be warned after all.
If it happened again Ino wanted to be sure her rival had a camera handy.
That sort of picture goes into collection for use as both blackmail material and private viewing.
Everyone knows that.
She rolled her eyes at Shikamarus naivety.
He just needed more practice in the gossip department was all.
Deciding it was better to let the genius figure out what an incredible occurrence it was on his own, Ino said a brief farewell and wandered in the other direction.

"Troublesome…"

At least the day wasn't so boring after all, Inos little gossip had given him something to think about.
It was all very well for Sai to do something like that, the guy probably saw someone do it in the park and thought it would work on Naruto as well.
And you could never really tell with that guy…
Shikamaru didn't even WANT to try and evaluate what was going on inside Sais head.
Naruto was a different matter.
He had always been the sort of person to have his emotions on display, never really quite knowing how to hide them and feeling content that he didn't have to.
If he had even the slightest attraction towards someone, Shikamaru would have picked up on it in an instant, whether he wanted to or not.
He rubbed the bridge of his nose irritably.
Why oh why did his brain have to be so smart…? Some things he didn't want to know about…
No, it was very out of character for Naruto to go around kissing people.
Unless it was an attempt with Sakura before he was knocked to hell.
Sai, no…
Unless Ino was exaggerating and Sai fell onto Naruto and just so happened to kiss him as they hit the ground.
It happened with Sasuke after all…

He bypassed the gates of Konoha and waved to Sakura who was entering the village with a basket.
That's right, she was going to find ingredients that she was missing.
He had passed her when she was leaving and they had spoken briefly.
But that was an hour ago, so why was the basket empty? It was the perfect season for skullberries, it wasn't possible that the bushes were bare.
Sakura stormed over when she caught sight of him and Shikamaru discreetly prepared his shadows to grab her if something went wrong.
By the looks of it, Ino had told her about Sai and Naruto.
Which could mean things would get ugly.
Shikamaru took in the looks on her face which furthered his opinion of the rumor being spread.
An interesting face actually, she looked half furious and half creeped out.

"What's wrong, Sakura?"

Best to play it cool and pretend you don't know, he figured.
Sakura stopped in front of him and balled her fists, making him slightly nervous.
Growling and stomping her foot she cried,

"Kakashi and Gai-sensei that's what's wrong!"

Oh.
So Ino hadn't told her yet.
That meant it was best to clear away when she did.

"What did they do?"

Something stupid, no doubt…
Sakura threw her hands in the air in exasperation.

"I don't know! I was talking to them and then they both started rolling around on the ground. I think Gai was trying to kiss Kakashi or something! Ergh… I feel sick…"

Shikamaru fought very desperately not to mentally and physically react to this news.
That was definitely wrong…
What was it with people wanting to kiss each other all of a sudden?
Like, with Naruto and Sai, this didn't make sense.
Although being a pervert, Shikamaru had never seen Kakashi react or take an interest in any men or women, the latter of which seemed to adore him.
He definitely wouldn't run around kissing people, especially Gai because pervert or not that was just nasty.
And Shikamaru always got the vague feeling that Gai irritated Kakashi on some level.
Sure they constantly battled and had their little games and they were most certainly friends…
It was probably Gais eccentricity being too much to counter Kakashis own weirdness.
No, Kakashi didn't go around kissing people.
Gai… He wasn't so sure about.
If he got it in his head that it was another competition or he was trying to 'prove his youth' there was a possibility he might try, but a very remote possibility.
Whatever the case, he was glad he didn't see Naruto and Sai OR Kakashi and Gai… He had a feeling he would be reacting the same way as Sakura, who was currently dry retching on the ground.

"Hey! Sakura! I have something to tell you!"

Shikamaru jumped with fright when he heard Inos voice and hastily said goodbye to Sakura, who nodded weakly, before high tailing it.
He vaguely noticed Kotetsu and Raido rolling around on the ground making a commotion instead of working as he hurried away.
Once he heard the words, "Argh! Don't kiss me you asshole!" Shikamaru determined that perhaps Raido and Kotetsu had been infected with the same disease as Naruto, Sai, Gai and Kakashi.
If so, then it would seem the display of affection was one sided, which would make sense given everyones personalities.
Sai might have tried it with Naruto.
Gai might have tried it on Kakashi.
But definitely not the other way around.
By the sound of it, Raido was trying it on Kotetsu.
He didn't really know enough about their personalities to judge that fully though.
A loud shout of "THEY DID WHAT!?" behind him in the direction of Ino and Sakura made him break into a sprint and lose his train of thought.

Lol so yeah...
You need at least ONE person to be smart enough to try and figure it out.
Shikamaru, I'm sorry but its you...
And you shall not leave this story without experiencing it too... Probably...
Rates and reviews always appreciated!
Hope you enjoyed!