My husband had hauled me into some type of tropical forest between the Wind and Fire. It was hot and sticky- making me feel nine levels of uncomfortable. The only pleasant part of walking in this terrain was the soft dirt ground that comforted my bare feet.

The path Madara and I had walked on grew narrower and more wild. "Are we getting close?" I could sense we were by the way Madara seemed to recognize small markers on trees and on the ground.

He nodded, "I'm going to need you to stick close to me in this last half-mile. We have traps lied down for enemies."

I stumbled closer to him and grabbed his hand. He stiffened his shoulders as I shimmied into his open palm. I could see he was still uncomfortable with public affection, get over it bucko- I'm a touchy feely girl.

His hand tightened around mine insecurely, "people are going to think I've gone soft."

You're the farthest thing from soft. "We're married, if you didn't hold my hand they'd find something wrong with you still. People like to judge, and they'll always find something wrong with you. Even if they couldn't find something- they'll make it up."

My oblivious footing marched straight forward without a care. Madara, alarmed by some abstruse third sense pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arm around my shoulders tightly to avoid a pile of fallen leaves, "bear trap." My nerves lit up like fireworks that could have been bad. He moved on as if it was nothing, "you seem wise in matters of gossip."

"I'm a woman," really, I thought he was the stereotypical sexist in this relationship.

He laughed, "my favorite part about you."

We halted our journey as we passed between two skinny trees. "trip wire, don't move." I clicked my heels together and steadied my balance as if I were parallel on a tightrope. Madara took one foot and stepped over the air quickly and skillfully steadying himself as he took the other foot to land on the opposite side of some invisible boundary. My escort turned around and held his hand out for me to take.

Cautiously I held his hand again, "see right here- wire- step over it."

I looked down to wear he was pointing and saw what we were trying to avoid. A small thin wire lied between us. It was begging for someone to nudge it just a little. Carefully I stepped over it with Madara's hand to help me as I moved on one foot. "What would happen if I tripped it?"

He glared at my curiosity, "don't." His light attitude turned somber instantaneously.

"What?" I innocently laughed.

He shook his head as we continued safely away from the transparent fate. I want to trip over it to see what happens! I looked behind us but was tugged forward by my mean husband. "I swear, I'm not even kidding. I'll kill you."

His threats no longer fazed me. "I don't know what you're talking about." I insisted with evil intentions lurking behind my eyes.

"You're trouble," he grumbled.

An opening grew at the end of the path, letting in a cool breeze to blow against my clammy skin. Finally fresh air, this rainforest is suffocating. Ahead of us I saw what appeared to be a large stone gate covered in ivy and moss to welcome us home. We were still yards away from it, but I could tell on the other side a village bustled with tons of clansmen.

I checked my appearance and brushed down my dress. This was the first time I had worn something twice before. The navy stripe dress I had bought in town a few days ago was flattering though so I didn't mind. A few burrs had found themselves latched to the hem, as I pulled at them I could feel my needy husband pulling at me to come closer to his side. With frustration over my dress and my husband pushing me, I brashly snapped at him. "What, you destitute beggar? Why are you yanking on my hand?" The second the words had left my lips I had wished them back in. Quickly to make up for my rudeness I smiled, trying to play it off as a joke.

Lacking a humorous bone in his body, his shady eyes glowered down upon me. "A beggar, am I?" He gnarled and pushed me up against a tree. He too appeared to be frustrated, but his frustration impacted him in a lower region. My head cranked back but met his large hand in the impact. He actually softened my concussion this time? "I'll show you who the beggar is." He pulled me up from the ground and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He's my husband- I'm allowed to. The thought eased my nerves and for once I submitted to him without a question or a worry.

His mouth on mine and my arm around his neck, this is where I belonged. unruly black hair brushed against my cheeks and tickled them, I laughed into the kiss causing Madara to break it and roam his mouth down my neck. The course calloused skin of his hand rubbed up my thigh and under the dress hem- sliding closer and closer-

"Finally you're home; we've been waiting for you!" I heard a deep male voice break our intimate composure. Madara broke this kiss promptly and jolted in the direction of the voice. I was dropped from his embrace impetuously, but quickly caught and brought to my feet before I hit the ground. "Brother?" The voice questioned. A light blue Shinobi uniform fitted the young man, he shared the same tool belt as Madara and had identical looks to my husband. He admired me from a far distance with bewilderment shrouding his handsome face. This is the famous Izuna. "Brother who's that?"

I quickly grabbed my husband's hand and looked towards the two men who had been lurking near the entrance of the village. Izuna stood shell shocked beside a tall older man with deep bags under his eyes. "Madara Uchiha, have you no self-control! How dare you tote some whore here!"

I covered my mouth in awe over the older man's crude lipping. "Oh he's not a happy camper, is that your Daddy?"

Madara took it all in stride and chuckled at my patience for his babbling father. "Yes, that's him."

"Stop whispering with your hussy and answer me young man, you were supposed to be on a mission not taste testing at the brothels!" His father stepped closer with Izuna staying back to avoid the drama.

His father only meters away tempted to slap him but delayed as Madara flashed him his wedding band. "Not a hussy- wife, father. We were married yesterday." I thought at the very moment he was going to swallow his own tongue by the way he opened his mouth and choked on his words. I watched his chest seize mid breath as if someone had just knocked the wind out of him. "Go stand by Izuna, sweetheart." Madara pushed me forward and out of the way of his father's lurching fists. Madara dodged his father's punch and stepped back a few feet with a jubilant smile that took years off of his complexion.

I skipped over to Izuna and stopped a few feet in front of him. "Hi, I'm Bella!" I waved with a giant smile. Izuna raised his brow and put his hands on his hips, "oh man." He said bracing himself.

A growl curdled behind me, I turned around to see Madara's Dad prowling at me. "Bella," he repeated as he overheard my introduction. "By that you mean, fucking Princess Isabella Shijimi!"

"Yup," Madara answered proudly and beat on his chest a single time like an ape claiming his territory.

"You idiot!" His father jousted at my husband in attempts to pumble him to the ground. "Tell me you didn't consummate this heinous act!"

"Oh yeah we did." He winked at me causing me roll my eyes. I can't lie it was pretty phenomenal.

"You moron!" He knocked him to the ground and jumped on top of him. I stood beside Izuna and watched the two wrestling about on the ground

I gave Izuna a facetious nudge to the ribs, "I got my money on, Madara."

He slowly simmered down from the shock and smiled, "I don't know my dad's pretty mad, I think I'd bet on him."

"Game on," I crossed my arms and stood on the side lines with Izuna.

Madara was on bottom of his father and arms out in front of his face as his father's fists came raining down. "You foolish impudent brat, do you know what you have cost us?" A fist nearly hit my husband in the face causing me to flinch. "And for what, a pretty face and a nice ass? She's a princess you naïve shortsighted fool!"

Wow, when Madara said he'd hate me… he wasn't lying. I looked behind me and examined my tush. I never thought my butt was anything special, perhaps I've been overlooking my assets. I smiled at the new revelation.

"Dad, calm down, it isn't as bad as it looks." He attempted to coax his seething father.

"Ridiculous!"

"The mission changed, but we're still getting the supplies." His father hesitated giving Madara an advantage. He got out from under his old man and stood up.

The enraged parent stood perplexed, "was marrying her and hauling her here a part of this change?"

Madara pivoted his head away from his father and made eye contact with me. "Yes it was. I was given his blessing to marry her and he said he would send us not just one shipment but several for as long as she lived."

I readjusted my hands on my hips and cocked my head at him, "Why am I only hearing about this now?"

"We were busy with other things." That is true. I remembered our past couple of epic nights together.

Madara smiled childishly as his father grinned and patted his son on the back. "That's my boy, always thinking about the good of the clan. You scared me for a second, why didn't you just come out with it up front! So when is the first shipment to come?"

The two men debriefed merrily over mission details as I beamed up at the young Uchiha to my side, "I think that makes me the winner of our little bet."

He scoffed, "hardly, they're both standing. No one won."

"Ah come on, did you see how your brother just turned that whole thing around in his favor? He totally won the fight."

Izuna relaxed his demeanor and warmed up to me, "my brother has a natural talent for diffusing bombs."

"Funny, since he himself is one."

I got him to laugh. This marks the beginning of Mission: Brother-In-Law. I knew Izuna meant a lot to Madara, if a man of 24 would openly live with his brother there must be a strong sibling bond there. Winning over the brother would make my life here far more comfortable.

"That's good to hear son! We must report back to the elders. Izuna take your sister home." Oh, so we're going from whore to sister all of a sudden? And they say women are fickle. The younger brother hesitated and looked to Madara.

He nodded and backed his father's orders,"I'll be home later today, Bell. Izuna, watch her- she's a naughty one." Izuna nodded dutifully.

"Ugh!" I snapped and turned away, "Well Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black!"

Madara walked forward with his father, and paused to give me a brief kiss on the lips. He started quickly down the road following his father to meet with their elders. Izuna and I walked in there dust at a far more calm pace. "Does he have to race down the road?" I shook my head.

Izuna peered down, "that's walking to an Uchiha. This is basically crawling to us." He suggested to our current brisk speed.

I faced a surprised look, "wow that explains why he was so agitated with our speed the whole way here."

He nodded, "I'm suspecting your marriage will do him good." Izuna encouraged. "He needs someone to slow him down and force his nose into the roses. My brother is the kind of guy you hand a piece of paper to and he bullet points every purpose you could use a piece of paper for."

That's a strange expression. "Meaning?"

"When he's done with the list he realizes that he can't do anything on the list because he ruined the paper by writing on it."

I pondered the idea briefly and agreed, that sounds like something Madara would actually do. "So he spends his life preparing, but fails to proceed with the plan."

He chuckled and nodded. "He'd need two lifetimes to prepare for the extravagant life he plots in his head and one to act on it."

We had made our way to the Uchiha clan village. It appeared hundreds of people lived here and all of them were on the street running amuck. You would have thought someone had pointed at the elephant in the room by the way they gawked at me. Izuna bent down and whispered, "we've never had an outside here before." He explained.

I whispered back sassily, "I didn't know I was an outsider." Izuna went red with embarrassment as he realized his rudeness, I nudged him gently. "It was a joke, honey."

He relaxed, but I was still on edge from all the stygian eyes narrowing down at the same time. The road we traveled on remained loose gravel, but what was of the trees had disappeared. In their place a line of closely placed settlements paralleled the streets. Not one vendor or market, only homes of hundreds of Uchiha families. No wonder they need my father's supplies, nobody is making an effort to be inter-dependent. They're just sitting around waiting for someone to show up with food and fabric.

"How have you all been eating and clothing yourselves?"

Izuna shrugged, "same way cave people did. Hunt and gather, although we're running low on game and we've harvested as much as we can front the surrounding land."

I just don't understand this? A little boy walked next to his mother ahead of us. He had the Uchiha clan symbol on the back of his ill fit shirt. He was far too skinny for the average size. I felt a pang of animosity burn in my stomach. "So why hasn't your father made arrangements with any of the surrounding farmers. Madara and I passed at least three farms on our way here."

He sighed and stopped short of an upcoming house. He nudged me into the yard of the bi-level white house. The shingles on the roof were loose and worn out, sorely needing an urgent update. Pausing, I looked back down the street and noticed it was in fact the nicest looking home around. "Don't try to understand our Dad, he's an old traditional man set in his ways. He's not a businessman, he's an unreasonable God fearing war lord."

I moved up the steps to the wooden porch and waited for Izuna to open the door. He stood behind me and waited patiently. Oh wait, their Shinobi not gentleman. I laughed to myself and opened my own door. I'll have to get use to that. Izuna walked in behind me and bent over to take off his shoes in the foyer. He paused before we moved in and looked at my feet, "the hell?" He swore at my bare dirty feet.

I smiled up at him, "I don't like shoes."

He shook his head at my oddness and gave me a brief tour of the estate. It was a simple and plain, the walls were left undecorated and only had the most essential of furniture. "Didn't feel like buying the other?" I pointed to the lone end table in the living room.

"No we had both at one time… I think we lost it somewhere."

"How do you lose furniture?"

He smirked, "Madara and I get wasted occasionally, can't tell you what happens- but when we wake up there's always missing furniture and a fire."

And I'm trouble? Pssh, I don't think I've ever lost a freaking table.

He reluctantly showed me to the combined dining room and kitchen. I felt my heart fall into my stomach as I looked and saw the abhorrent state the kitchen was in. "Oh Izzy, why?" The cabinets were open and empty due to all the dishes being in the sink- soaking in green month old water. The counters were greasy and covered in crumbs. I couldn't even see the floor due it being covered in broken glass and ash.

"Don't look at me, I can't remember the last time I cooked in here. Madara made this mess last time we had friends over for dinner and drinks."

I walked over to the fridge and peered in, absolutely nothing but a rotting piece of cheese. "And when was that?" I turned around to the silent man who merely gave me a shrug. "Where have you been eating?"

"Around, yesterday I had dinner with the neighbors."

I closed my eyes and calmed myself, "Oh man, what am I going to do with you… and this clan."

"Well you could start with feeding me, I think we have some stuff under here." He walked into the danger zone of broken glass and bent down to open one of the lower coverts. "Bell look I found the end table!" He jumped up flamboyantly with a piece of broken wood in each hand. "It was in here the whole time! It looks like Madara and I couldn't fit the end table in so we broke it a part."

I palmed my forehead out of pure dumbfounded angst, "Why would you want the end table under the counter?"

He ignored me and raised a loaf of bread he found next to the broken wood, "Food!"

"Sweety, it's green…" He looked back at the bread and frowned with nonsensical disappointment. "Before I cook for you, we need to clean this kitchen, it's unsanitary!"

"You're married, is this a joke?" Elder Haruko asserted with his typical wheezing voice. He sat in the middle of the two other elders on the large tatami mat. I detested talking to the Uchiha elders, although it was a necessity. They were the three heads of cerberus and nobody went in or out of the village walls without talking to them.

"A wedding, I love weddings- when's the wedding!" Yotaku yawned, he had apparently just awoke from his nap.

I could hear my father breathe out his disappointment in his daffy father. Yotaku, my grandfather, had somehow managed to evade death long enough to reach seventy five. He was a decrepit old man with a bald head and a long grey beard that reached his chest. My grandfather was the oldest in the clan, we had appointed him the position of council member mainly out of respect rather intellectual input. "You silly coot, Yotaku. He's married, present tense!" Grayson snapped.

"Why wasn't I invited," he whined. "I love weddings." Quiet snoring sounded as he fell back to sleep. I hope I never get that old.

I bit my tongue from saying my first reaction to Haruko's belittling of my marriage. I took a second to calm myself so I could speak to the elders with as much respect as I could muster at this moment. "It's not a joke, and our matrimony is none of your concern. My mission was beyond successful, and I will fill out a report for you to read later. I'd like to be with my wife right now, we are honeymooning after all."

"Bach," Grayson scoffed, "Cut the crap Madara, you're a Shinobi- she a Princess. You're honeymoon will end in divorce and what then? Will you send her and our resources back with her?"

Yotaku muttered in his sleep, "Divorce...Divcourse…Dincourse… Dinner course…." He groggily opened his saggy wrinkled eyelids. "Dinner sounds good, Madara finish with your honeymooning instantly and bring me food- have your pretty wife cook me a dinner course fit for nine kings!"

Grayson grinded his teeth. "Divorce, you senile old bat. He's going to divorce!" He shouted at his colleague.

The anile old man slammed his fist down on his lap, "Damnit who's going to make me dinner now! Madara remarry her this instant and invite me to the wedding this time! I like weddings and I like dinner!"

"Go back to sleep you fool." Haruko cut in. "Madara, as blunt as it is- Grayson makes a point. What if you end up not getting along?"

I shrugged, "you've never met my wife- but if you had you'd understand that it's impossible to not get along with her. She's the type of girl you give a piece of paper to and she hands you back gold." In the Uchiha family this was a common analogy used to describe a person. You can tell exactly who a person is by what they do with paper- whether it's art, math, or some strange action.

"Gold, is that how you see her? An investment?" Grayson snorted. "Exactly what I'd expect from someone like you, Madara."

My irritation with these men was coming to a peek, I was hardly capable of containing myself anymore. "I married for love, and I married for my clan. I will speak no more on this matter. I am going home to my family; the resources will be here in a couple of days."

I turned on my heel and walked out of the room but heard a popping sound come from behind me. I looked back briefly to see Yotaku feebly standing on his feet in with his cane in hand. "I-" he cracked his back into place and walked off the tatami mat. "I would like to meet my new granddaughter."

"Dad, why bother. The relationship will only last a we-"

Grandpa cut off my father with his hand. "Now shush your babbling. Tajima, and distract my companions over there before they realize I'm gone. I fear they will miss me too much in my absence."

"Ha," Grayson mocked as we walked out the door. He shouted after Yotaku, "I welcome the silence, for once I can enjoy an intellectual conversation without your interference's!"

My father watched us leave while shaking his head at the batty man and closed the door to discuss other matters with the remaining council. Grandpa sighed in relief, "Finally I've escaped those ancient fossils, now I may enjoy my youth!"

It was impossible to not smile with my Grandpa, he was so insane that I almost felt at peace. With him still breathing I could say with confidence that I was not the craziest of the Uchiha. "I think you'll like her."

"Of course I'll like her, the question is- …"

I looked back at the slowly paced old man, "the question is?" I reminded.

He looked up from his hunched over composure, "what are you going on about old man, fess up I haven't got all day."

"Grandpa, you just said 'the question is.'"

"Bach!" He waved me off, "you've gone looney, son. You better strengthen that brain of yours before your wife finds out. Women don't enjoy stupid elderly men. Look at you, you've gotten wrinkles on your brow!"

I moaned and covered my forehead, "you're 51 years older than me, Grandpa." I opened the front door to my house for the man and waited for him to crawl in. Calling me old, you can't even walk.

"Izuna don't you dare!" I heard something crash and Bella screamed out. "Drop it- Drop it- EW!"

Sounds like they're getting along.

I walked into the kitchen to see Izuna playing with something strangely similar to a filleted slug in his hand and Bella heaving in attempts to throw up. "Hey, Grandpa!" Izuna smiled waving his grease covered hand. "We were just cleaning up the kitchen when I found this growing in the sink water."

Grandpa narrowed his foggy eyes at Izuna's hand and shakily pointed at the thing. "Child, that is bat guano."

Bella looked over again and turned pale. She held her stomach and hurled her upper body down to her knees, gagging loudly. "Izuna why is there bat poop in the sink!"

"Uhhh!" Izuna looked at his crusty slimy hand in shock and groaned in revulsion as he wiped the shit on his pant leg.

Bella gasped but not before suppressing another urge to vomit. "Now you're wearing feces on your pants, Izuna!"

He looked at his hand and his leg and cried out, "Oh no! I wasn't thinking, Belly get it off!" He ran towards my wife with shit soiled pants and holding out his sticky vile dung covered hand towards her.

"No stay away from me you rank beast!" She ran out from under him and behind me for cover.

Izuna stood baffled, "Big brother what do I do, there's shit all over me!" He flailed his arms about causing the syrupy excrement to splatter across the room. A chunk landed on his face. "Big brother it's on my face!" He blubbered and went to wipe it off.

"Don't fucking touch face with your nasty hands! Wash your fucking hands in the bathroom and change your pants, you idiot!" With his head down and hand up he walked out of the room, dripping a line of bat crap behind him as it slid down his leg.

Grandpa unfazed by the recent actions turned to my wife who had unhid behind me and gave her a brittle hug. Her eyes opened wide in surprise but she hugged back without hesitation. "Welcome to the family dear, besides the guano I think you'll like it here." She giggled in the embrace and hugged him tighter but suddenly paused and turned to me in horror.

"Madara, I think he fell asleep... help." She pleaded as the old man snored and drooled on her.