Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own the rights to the Twilight Saga, Life and Death, or any of the accouterments in the series.

AN: If you haven't read the one-shot called Unforeseen Consequences yet, you should do it now, before reading this chapter. Also please be sure to vote on the poll on my profile. So far only 2 have.

Chapter 9 – Third Wheel

It the three weeks that followed, the practice sessions and the patrolling became a daily thing. Every day we would practice until, inevitably, her voice in my head would get more and more violent and I'd end up letting myself be hurt to prevent myself from harming Jules.

I did not understand why she kept talking to me, telling me what to do. She was gone, had left me to my own devices. I could think of very few reasons why I kept hearing her, and none of them were healthy. Unfortunately, the one being that might have known if it was possible for a vampire to truly go insane had left along with her.

So I delved into the patrolling, always only with Jules, the other wolves always patrolling in the opposite direction. The others didn't trust me, which was why they never came with us, and while I could understand them not wanting to be anywhere near me, I thought it was absolutely stupid for them to leave her alone with me if they truly believed I couldn't be trusted.

Unfortunately, while the constant modicum of practicing and patrolling did nothing to slow me down, I finally started to notice the exhaustion in Jules' face, smell the weakness in her blood, and sense it in the air. It was a dangerous feeling, for the predator in me.

Which was why when she arrived at my place, I stayed inside instead of going out to meet her.

"Beau," she called out as she entered the house.

"On the stairs," I called from where I was sitting, staring at her. I'd hunted early that morning, so my eyes were gold once again.

She looked over at me, relief feeling her face, and I realized it had worried her that I hadn't met her. "Why weren't you outside? We need to practice."

"How much sleep are you getting when you go home?"

"Enough, why?"

"I think you need to start getting more sleep."

"How much sleep did you get?"

"I can't sleep, you know that."

"And I can go on very little."

"Really? Then why did I start hunting you instead of just fighting you yesterday?"

"You were thirsty yesterday."

"I was. But that had nothing to do with it. The smell of your blood is naturally repulsive to me."

She glared at me. "What does that have to do with me sleeping?"

"I'm a predatory species, Jules. We both are. Your blood naturally deters me because you are in the same area on the food chain as me. But right now, you smell weak. You look weak. It's seductive. You have no idea just how dangerous it is for you to let yourself get this way." My voice was soft, smooth like velvet. It wasn't a conscious decision for my voice to take on that note, but even as I was trying to give her a very real warning, my instincts were wanting something very different from me.

She looked shocked by my words. "I'm not..."

"A predatory species? Of course you are. You hunt and kill my kind."

She frowned. "I guess I've never thought of it like that."

"You should sleep. Either go home or use my couch. I'd offer one of the beds upstairs, but none of the rooms have really been aired out." Except mine, but I wasn't going to offer mine. It felt very inappropriate to have her sleep in my bed. I didn't really understand why. "I'm perfectly stable at the moment, but I don't think us practicing is a good idea until you're better rested."

"Okay." She was still frowning. She shifted slightly. "I'll nap here." She went over to the couch.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the stair railing.

…

It was about four hours later before she woke up, her stomach grumbling as she did.

"I'm hungry."

I frowned, realizing that it was probably a part of what was adding to her state. She hadn't been eating in front of me the last two weeks, which meant she was only doing it at home. "There's food in the kitchen. Non-perishables like canned goods and crackers and stuff in the cabinets. I don't think there's anything that would still be good in the fridge, but there's probably steaks and stuff in the freezer."

Her brow furrowed. "Why do you have all of that?"

"They kept the kitchen stocked as part of the human facade they impressed upon everyone. The food would be sent to a nearby food bank and replaced before any of it ever went bad, but I haven't kept it up since they left. You're welcome to anything that is still good that you want."

"Okay." She got up, wandering that way. I didn't follow her, figuring she'd be able to fend for herself.

I heard her opening the freezer, and then a couple of the cabinets, before she shouted, "What the hell?"

I jumped up, racing into the kitchen and stopping short as I realized she had opened the pantry door and was looking at all the wrapped presents I'd hidden there.

She turned to me, waiving her hand at them as she did. "Seriously, what the hell?"

"They were given to me as birthday presents. It was on my birthday that everything started to crash and burn. I only opened one that night. Well actually two. After they left I had no desire to open the rest. I hid them in here because I didn't want the reminders." I shrugged.

She frowned. "You know, it's weird that they'd go to all that trouble if they always intended to leave."

"According to the letter, they'd always intended to leave me after my newborn year was up. They hadn't been expecting to leave so soon. Those were just part of the charade that they had fooled me with, I guess." I shrugged. I had no other way to really make sense of it. I stepped to the drawer where I'd slipped the letter and pulled it out. "Here. You read it." I handed it to her, then turned away from the letter, not wanting to remember what Edythe had written.

Of course I couldn't help but remember, the words were permanently imprinted in my mind. I could hear her voice in my mind saying, I do not love you. Not the mental apparition that my mind used to cope this time, just my own imagination. I closed my eyes, trying to stave off any reaction that my own memories might cause.

Jules put her hand on my shoulder a moment later. "I'm sorry, Beau. I can't fathom their decision, but if they can't see how special you truly are then that is their loss."

I tried to smile, but couldn't quite make it work.

"And if Edythe was unable to see just how easy you are to lo –"

Her words caused a wrenching pain in my chest. I placed my hand on my chest, right over where my stone heart was, trying to remind my body that I was whole. "Julie, please." The plea in my voice was clear as I spoke over her, forcing her to break off.

"I'll stop." I looked at her then, her face was pained. I saw she had the letter still in her hand, but neatly folded so the text wasn't visible.

I looked at the unopened presents again, grimacing.

"Can I take this letter with me?"

"Why?"

"I want to show it Sam and the others. Bonnie too. I think it might help all of them to understand. Sam especially."

"I don't need their pity, Jules."

"It's not about pity. It's about understanding."

I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess you can take it. I don't really need it anymore. It's all up here." I tapped my head.

"Good." She folded it again, and shoved it in her pocket. Then she looked back at the presents speculatively. "You know, I didn't get really any presents for my birthday. Well a half broken down motorcycle from my friend, Embrianna. But I don't have all the parts to fix it yet."

"Well, I don't think anything in those boxes will make a very good gift for you." But I did have cash that I could give her to fix her motorcycle with. If she'd let me give her the money to do that.

"We should open them anyways. Allow me to have the voyeuristic pleasure of seeing what you got for presents. We can burn whatever you don't like." I frowned at her. "Please, Beau?"

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, okay."

She grinned widely, then turned to eye the boxes speculatively. Finally she reached forward and pulled out the second smallest wrapped present. It was a thin box that was just the tiniest bit wider than it was long – about the size of a CD case. She started to pass it to me, but I shook my head.

"This was your idea. Why don't you open them?"

She ripped the paper open in a way that made me grimace. I'd always been the sort to pull the tape up gently and then carefully unfold the paper. Inside the paper was a CD case, just as I'd suspected. She looked at it for a moment, frowning the longer she stared at it. "Huh."

"What is it?"

In answer, she turned the disc toward me so I could read it. It was a blank CD like you'd by at a store to burn a mix with. Except two words had been handwritten on it in her perfect print. Beau's Song. I closed my eyes, wishing I could forget what I'd just seen. A strange whine came from my lips.

I heard the drawer I'd pulled the letter from being slammed shut.

"It's gone, Beau," Jules said, her voice was quiet. I didn't want to open my eyes. "We can stop if you want, go practice fighting instead."

I opened my eyes, reminding myself why weren't outside. "No, open something else, please."

This time, she went the other direction, pulling out the largest box, which was wrapped in shiny red foil. Her brow furrowed. "This says it is from Royal. It feels empty though." She tore the paper off. Inside was a basic white box, with a red line around the bottom of the box. It had the word Focal on the box and images of speakers and some sort of stereo looking thing. "This is about a six thousand dollar stereo system. Or it would be, if the box wasn't empty." She sounded completely mystified.

I actually managed to grin, in spite of myself. "It was probably already installed in my car. In the garage." My mood soured immediately.

"What car? It better be a nice one. You don't put a stereo system like this in some random piece of crap." She was still looking at the box with covetous eyes.

"We can go to the garage and I can show you. If you like."

"Later. I want to go through the rest of these first. There's only..." She looked back, doing a quick count. "Fourteen more wrapped boxes. And one unwrapped. I'm guessing that's the one you opened."

I remembered how excited I'd been when I'd been told what it was for. A band shirt and a concert in the spring with her, the one person I'd thought would always be with me. Something that would never happen now. "Yes... We should burn that one." I wanted nothing to do with that memory. Wishing that burning the items would burn the memory.

"Got it." Jules pulled a trash bag off the top shelf of the pantry. She threw the unwrapped present with the concert tickets in the bag.

She pulled out the smallest box out, a box wrapped in a flat black paper. It was thicker than the first present had been, but it was only a couple inches square. Jules handed it to me without opening the packaging. I looked down at the paper. On it were the words in white ink, For Beau's Eyes Only. It was in Earnest's basic print.

Frowning, I gently unwrapped the paper, vaguely noticing as Jules pulled out another package wrapped in dark purple paper. After pulling the paper off, I found a felt covered black box with hinges on the back. I opened it. My eyes widened as I took in the three items in the base. In the lid, a small note had been folded. I slammed it shut. Then I reached forward opening the drawer and dropped it inside without looking in the drawer. I shut the drawer furiously.

Jules stared at me like I'd grown a second head.

"It's nothing worth talking about," I muttered.

"Okay... well, this is. And I don't think I should touch them too much." I looked up at where she was holding three slim, hard-bound books in her hands.

"What are they?"

She handed them to me.

I took the three books from her. The cover of the first one said on it. Frankenstein; or The Modern Prometheus, Volume I, Mary Shelley. I knew without looking that the other two books would be volumes II and III. They had to be first editions. It was the only version that had been published in multiple books. "Who were these from?"

"It had Carine's name on the wrapping."

I wondered if they'd been in her collection all along, or if they'd been bought especially for me. I placed them gently on the counter. I had no idea of their value, but I knew I was keeping them.

Jules grabbed a small box wrapped in blue foil out of the pantry. She showed it to me so I could see Jessamine's name on the box. I nodded my head for her to open it, which she did with no huge amount of fanfare. Inside it was something I hadn't expected to see, a black leather bound notebook. I put it on the counter with the books.

"I know this shape of box," Jules said, pulling out one wrapped in gold and silver striped foil. "I'm certain it's a shirt box. It says it's from Archie."

"You're right. It's going to be clothes."

Jules tore the paper up and then opened the garment box. I saw the pink the same moment she did. "Uh... did Archie think you were a cross dresser?"

"No."

She pulled it out, unfolding it as she did. It was HOT PINK, with intricately woven pale pink and dark fuchsia designs on the front of the polo shirt. It was absolutely hideous. My eyes widened in horror at the sight of the ugly object.

"Put it in the stuff to be burned. Now."

Jules was trying hard not to laugh as she did so. "Did this Archie hate you a lot, or what?"

"If I was judging it on that thing. I'd say yes. In reality though, I have no idea. I thought he considered me a brother, or a friend at the very least." I shrugged. "He's not here though, so I'm guessing he didn't see me that way after all."

Jules pulled out another two garment boxes – one in the same gold and silver striped wrapping, the other in a simple green, both were smaller than the shirt box – looking at them. "You want to open the one from Eleanor, or the one from Archie."

"The one from Eleanor." I knew whatever Archie gave me would be in 'high fashion' and poor taste.

She handed me the green box. I unwrapped mine while she did the same with the one she had. She got the paper off faster than I did mine, not being careful the way I was. She opened the one she had. Inside was a canary yellow silk tie.

I pointed to the trash bag, not even wanting to vocalize my horror.

I finished getting my paper off a moment later as she tossed the article in the bag. I pulled the lid up. It took me longer than it should have to realize I was staring at a pair of briefs that had a bloody fang on either side of vertical fly. I slammed the box shut and put it in the trash bag without a word.

When I looked back up, Jules had her lips pinched between her teeth, the mirth in her eyes extreme.

"Don't you say a word, Jules. Not one word," I threatened.

She pulled out two more boxes, handing me a long slender one wrapped in the same blue foil that the notebook had been, it was from Jessamine. The one in her hands was a relatively flat box wrapped in a dark gray covered in a fancy damascus pattern.

"There's no name of who this one is from," she muttered.

I shrugged.

I opened mine in my careful process. Inside was another black felt box with a hinged lid. The last one had something I'd rather have not seen. I wasn't sure this one would be better. I cautiously opened the lid like it would bite me. Inside were four black pens – a blue sapphire on the end of each pen – by a company named Montegrappa.

I hadn't been paying attention to Jules as she'd opened the package she'd selected, but I looked up now as she was staring down at a picture frame. "Their eyes are gold..." she murmured, her voice disturbed. "Who are these vampires, Beau?"

She handed me the frame. I looked at the photo. As I stared at the photo, I heard the drawer open and shut, I didn't look up to see what she put in there. There were five vampires in the photo, four men and one woman. "I've never seen them before, but I'm relatively sure that these are the Denalis. They live in Alaska and are the Cullens cousins. They're the only ones I know who adhere to the vegetarian diet aside from the Cullens and myself. The three blondes should be Taavi, Kirill, and Ivan, the incubus brothers, and the other two are Elena and Cameron."

"Incubus brothers?"

"Yes, that's how they lived for almost a thousand years. They're creator, Sampson, made them for this sole purpose. I guess there's some sort of thrill to seducing humans females and bleeding them dry in the midst of passion. I don't know. It wasn't until they're maker was executed for making an immortal child that they gave up that lifestyle. Now the women they seduce, live."

Jules swallowed, looking sick.

I put the photo down. "Let's get the presents finished. There's only six left."

She turned back to the remaining boxes, pulling out two in white wrapping. They were similar in size. They could be garment boxes, some sort of picture in a frame, or anything else "They both claim to be from Earnest."

I held my hand out for one, which she gave to me. I could tell, even without opening mine, that it was made of wood. I could smell it. Once the wrapping was off of what I was holding, I saw it was a wooden sign like what you'd hang on a wall. A short inscription had been etched onto it reading: Don't be afraid to pick yourself up when you fall.

I swallowed thickly, a strange urge to cry coming over me, I forced it away.

"The sign isn't wrong." Jules was looking at me seriously.

"You know what falling for someone like me means." I looked down at her hands, which were holding an open garment box, but instead of some sort of garment it was some folded documents. "Let me see that." I put the sign down on the counter.

Jules handed it to me then reached back into the closet, grabbing a box wrapped in red. I'd bet money that it was from Royal like the first one wrapped in red had been.

I unfolded the documents.

The first page I saw was a small note from Earnest.

Beau,

I know you wondered about who we put in your truck when we destroyed it. There was very little info I was able to find on the person. But the following documents was what I was able to uncover for you.

Earnest

The next pages included a death certificate showing that the boy had committed suicide by drowning himself at only sixteen, some sort of paperwork that appeared to be from social services back in the late nineties that showed the boy had run away from the home he was in when he was only nine and never found again, and a birth certificate from 1989.

That strange urge to try and cry was back. I pushed it back viciously. I folded the papers and placed them on the counter with the rest of the stuff I wanted to keep. I'd look at them in more detail when I was alone.

"You should look at this," Jules exclaimed loudly.

I looked up. In her hands was a clear plastic case, inside the case was a black platform, and on the platform was a 1:24 scale, fire engine red, 1953 Chevy Pickup. I swallowed hard. "Is that what I think it is?"

"A model of your old truck? Yes. Look at this sticky note. It was on top." She handed me the sticky note even as she placed the model on the counter with everything else. She knew without asking that I'd want to keep it.

I read the sticky note. It was a very simple message from Royal. Everyone remembers their first car.

I closed my eyes. "Give me the present wrapped in green."

She handed it to me without a word as I opened my eyes back up, picking the one wrapped in dark purple for herself.

I unwrapped the box in my hands which was about thirteen inches long and about five high and wide. Inside the wrapping was a completely clean white box, or it would be if it weren't for Eleanor's writing on top. For until you actually get some.

I was afraid to open it. But I did for exactly one tenth of a second. Just long enough to see the flashlight shaped item, then I shut the lid again, throwing it in the bag with everything else to be burned. "If I ever see Eleanor again, I'm going to kill her."

I looked at what Jules was holding. She was holding a box for a laptop. I didn't need to open it to know that was exactly what would be inside it.

"It's a logical gift, anyways." Jules voice was wry.

"Yeah." I stepped closer, reaching in to the pantry to grab the final gift. It was in the same silver foil as the first gift Jules opened. That had obviously been from her. So this one would be as well, if the pattern held. The present was almost the same exact size as the CD case. Except it was about two inches thick. I opened the wrapping, finding a simple black box inside. I opened the lid and the entire thing fell to the ground a moment later as my hand went slack from what I saw.

A twenty-four inch leather band fell out, knotted at one end to make a necklace. On the leather band was a single bottle cap, a hole through the center of the cap.

"Beau, what is it?" Jules' voice was concerned. I couldn't make my mind work right to reassure her.

"How... How could they all be so vicious, so cruel? If they had always been intending to leave at the end of the year. Why would they give me items like this, items to remind me of my past, items to help me in the future. Items symbolizing trust, faith and love. I don't get it." I looked at the necklace a moment before I bent down and picked up the necklace, dashing outside so fast that I knew it would rival her speed. My own betrayed anger pushing me to a new limit. The instant I was outside I hurled the necklace as hard as I could into the forest.

Then Jules was there. Right in front of me, her hands on my shoulders. "Beau, talk to me. What's going on?"

"It doesn't matter. I don't matter." I shook my head. I had thought I'd hit rock bottom when they had left, but I was suddenly drowning with the emotional pain of betrayal and loss in a way I had never been before.

She shook me. "You matter to me." The words were half a shout and half hoarse at the same time.

I didn't respond, the pain slowly killing everything that was left of me.

She shook me again, harder this time. "Don't you dare give up, Beau."

I focused on her, using her steady, fear-filled eyes, to shove all the red-tinged, pain-filled emotions into a tight box. She calmed as she saw me steady. "Let's get out of here."

…

We patrolled until half way into the night, stopping when we reached a large clearing that I vaguely recognized as where the Cullens had come to play baseball when I was still human.

She shifted back to human form behind me, dressing before coming around in front.

"Beau, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Jules." I looked down as I said it though.

"You're lying. Talk to me, Beau."

I'd been thinking a lot while we'd been running. I looked up at her then. "There's something you should know, Jules. I don't think I'm going to be staying in Forks much longer. I have plans to use some money that was left to me to get a job offer for Charlie in another town along with an all expense paid move for him. When he accepts, and I'm sure he will. I'm going to follow him. I thought, for these last two weeks, that I could make it work. We could be friends, I could learn to work with you, to help protect Forks and your tribe. But I can't stay there, Jules. Not anymore. I can't keep being a third wheel, hiding on the outskirts of this town."

Jules started shaking slightly, my words upsetting her visibly. "Stay." Her voice sounded scratchy, like she'd been screaming for hours and lost her voice.

"I can't. There's nothing left for me here, Jules. I can't be among the humans here, the other wolves don't want me here, and the vampires..." I couldn't finish the sentence, just shook my head.

"Stay." Her voice was stronger this time. "If that house has too many memories for you, then we'll fix up one of the abandoned cabins on the outskirts of La Push."

"The other wolves won't like that."

"I don't care. If you leave, I'll be by myself. You're not the only third wheel here."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm a lone wolf, Beau. It's never happened before this way, but there's never been a time when a naturally submissive wolf has had the the will to rise to power the way Sam has."

I looked at her in confusion.

"Sam was the first of us to change, and when others started to change, there needed to be a leader. I'm the born leader. It's in my blood. Literally. But I was too young and a leader was needed then so Sam rose to power, filling the necessary spot. When I first shifted and she wanted me to kill you. Our wills met... And we broke something. I'm my own pack. Since there are no wolves following me. I'm a lone wolf. I have the power of an alpha, but no one under me."

I was horrified. "Did I cause this?"

"No." She was adamant. "You may have... sped things along. A little. But this would have happened no matter what. There can't be two alphas in a pack. And Sam and I are both alphas." She looked at the field around us. "That's why I run with you by myself, of course. I've seen you frowning as we've patrolled over these last two weeks. Sam and I being in close vicinity for any real length of time brings out real problems. I shouldn't run alone. But Paula and Jaelyn are happy with Sam. I wouldn't force one of them to join my pack. That's part of why I was so adamant on you patrolling with me."

"Jules..." I trailed off. I had no clue how to respond to that. How was I supposed to be responsible for keeping her alive?

"Just stay, okay. We'll find a way to make everything work."

"Charlie can't keep living here, Jules."

"Yes he can."

"You haven't seen how my death affected him. It's killing him, staying here like this."

"No." She shook her head. "What I mean to say is that while what you're saying is all true, the last time you spoke to my mom, you shamed her real good. She's trying to help him now. It's working. Let her have a chance to get through to him. Let them both have a chance at happiness."

I blinked, opening my mouth to reply when suddenly a wolf let out a piercing howl in the distance.

"That's not Sam or her pack. It's someone new. I have to go, Beau."

"Okay."

She must have seen something in my face, because she paused mid stride. "You promise me you'll be at your home when I take care of this."

I shook my head. Not a denial really, just a reaction.

She stepped towards me, putting herself toe to toe with me. "You promise me you'll be there, or I'm going nowhere."

"I promise."

"Good." She kissed the tip of my nose so quickly I was almost sure I imagined it. Then she spun around, running in the direction of the sound, yanking her shirt off as she ran.

AN: Quick note. There was a total of eighteen gifts. One for each year Beau has been alive. There was two from each of the seven Cullens, one from the Denalis, the two from the family as a whole that he actually opened/got on his actual birthday, and the mysterious item from Earnest.

Who feels sorry for Beau?