Chapter 9
Crying definitely helped, I could smile again. I still dreaded the future but letting emotions out and letting your guard down every once in a while isn't a bad thing. That didn't keep me from dreading the future but it decreased my frustrations by a lot. There was another thing to ponder before anything else, did I or did I not love Scorpius. I looked back to our days in Hogsmeade, patrolling around the castle, the way my hand felt when he held it, the rapid beating of my heart on our first kiss, I came to the conclusion that I just might. I most definitely had feelings for him, but I couldn't say I love him. I still had no idea what love is and what I felt was different from what I imagined.
School had started once again and obviously I was obligated to instruct Prefects on what to do. I was half an hour early to Kings Cross and there were hardly any people on the Hogwarts Express but if I was going to be Head Girl I was going to do it right. Scorpius arrived just a couple of minutes after I did. It was very awkward but I looked past that and focused on the task at hand.
"Congratulations." he said.
"Congratulations to you too. About the patrolling schedules..." I started blabbing on about 5th years being assigned in the hour with least responsibility and he didn't seem to be listening.
I stopped and sighed "We're going to have to talk about it, aren't we?"
"Yes, Rose, we have to. This isn't just a misunderstanding, you've got to understand that."
"Please Scorpius call me every bad name you know, I know what I did was wrong. I'll stay away from you as much as I can under the current circumstances but please don't try to tell me that I don't know that what I did was horrible because right now, I think that's the only thing I know for sure." I said.
"I just...after the trolley goes by it's best to send the fifth years. Everyone will be eating."
He had given up on me. It felt like that was the last conversation between Rose and Scorpius and any future conversations would be between Head Boy and Head Girl. But what if I didn't want that? Could I do anything to change that? Should I? I was lost in thought for the ride to Hogwarts, I told Scorpius my plan for patrolling. He was perfectly capable of taking command. I'm sure he understood my current predicament. That night I was in the Common Room, still thinking it over, staring out the window at the deserted Quidditch field.
"...if you love someone and they love you back but they're doubting your feelings, all you have to do is prove it."