There seems to be a continuing problem with the new chapter emails being sent out so i hope those who subscribe, received it and if not, they sort the problem our soon. enjoy.

CPOV

My guardian angel.

How I wish I could speak to you so freely, face to face instead of in the words of a book.

Tell you how much the minutes that I see you, mean to me. How each smile I receive, brightens up a dreary day.

Feeling your hand in mine, your voice in my ear. You were my anchor, keeping me with you.

I know I come with a lot of baggage that will follow me for a long time to come.

Just know this though. When I'm free to breathe, free to tell you how I really feel. If you want me, I'm yours.

Ana

xxx

I'm yours Ana, all yours.

I had a little hunt for Ana's message in her journal, following the clue that she left just inside the front cover.

Pick up a book and see where it takes you

let your mind escape for a little while.

Explore the wonder, the magic that words can lead you

to your favourite place in time.

To live inside a world and see how much they thrive

to read an iconic birthday and cheer from the sidelines

a book can give you so much pleasure, a friend along the way

It help the countdown go quicker until I reach that special day

I smiled when I think about Ana's clue. Only one would lead to a date after I found nothing of significance on Ana's release date. Ana had been enjoying the Harry Potter books, letting me know that she had started to read through them again. Turning to July 31st, Harry Potter's birthday is where I found her letter. I had read it so many times, every word was imprinted on my mind.

"How was she" Elliot asked me, bringing me from my thoughts.

"Her arm is still bandaged but she was smiling when I saw her yesterday."

"She's not the only one, it suits you" he laughed.

We had met up for our usual Saturday night drinks. The bar was heaving tonight, full of girls too drunk to stand and trying to hang off any guy who would buy them a drink. Valentines was approaching and with the advertisements around of the upcoming party, it will be a night I'm staying home.

"I held her Elliot… she felt perfect in my arms" I sighed.

"How the hell did you do that in there. Aren't there cameras everywhere."

I told him about the blind spot Ana had told me about and as no one said anything as we were leaving, it's a spot I would like to use more often.

"Crafty shit. I have to admit if I was in the same position, I would take advantage of this spot as well, as long as she didn't feel like I was pushing her."

"It was Ana who was pulling me in, not the other way around."

"Yeah, but you didn't stop it."

"No, never."

"How long until she gets out" he asked me.

"Four weeks. I have to be patient when she is released. Ana needs to settle in at home, spend time with her Dad. I will be waiting though and as soon as she's ready, I'll be there."

"I can't wait to meet her. This mother needs to stay away though."

"Tell me about it" I said angrily.

"Do you know her name, what she looks like."

"No, I don't. All I know is that she's upsetting my girl and trying to do everything she can to keep her in there."

"Bitch. Was there anything in the press about the trial or court papers. If you know what the mother looks like then it's easier to keep her away when you're with Ana."

"I didn't want to look into Ana's court case. It was traumatic enough for her without me rehashing it."

"I know Christian but do you really think that her mother is going to stop harassing her when she's out."

I knew he was right, I just hoped Ana wasn't mad at me for looking.

…

Here I was, sat in my living room, looking at the open browser on my laptop and not knowing what to search for first. I had spent Sunday at my parents with Elliot, having lunch with them so I took advantage of having a free day today, to see what I could find.

Anastasia Steele, I put into the search bar, waiting to see what came up. What I found made me sick. Interviews and press videos by the vilest woman I could ever imagine. She made Ana out as if she was the devil. The beautiful gentle woman that I had fallen in love with, to be someone who had murdered her husband in cold blood. If it was the last thing I did, I would keep her away from Ana.

I was about to click the little x in the corner when something caught my eye.

"No way."

...

I looked up at the office block in front of me, the rain hitting my wind shield. It was a building I had been in many times before but never for something like this.

I parked up, making my way through the reception area and towards the elevator. It had taken me a few hours to arrive, being late afternoon now but I needed to be here.

As the elevator doors opened I was greeted with Grey Law and the smiling face I have known since I was a small child.

"What a lovely surprise Christian, how are you."

"I'm fine Amy, you."

"Same as always. Your Dad is in his office if you want me to call him."

"That's fine, I will just go and see him."

She smiled, picking up the ringing phone as I made my way down to my Dads office. I knocked on the door, hearing his voice as I opened it, stepping inside.

"Christian, son is everything ok."

"Yes, are you busy" I asked him.

"No, Christian not that I don't love seeing you twice in two days but what's going on."

I handed him the page of the newspaper article that I had printed out, an article that named my Dad's company as the one who represented Ana at her trial.

"I don't understand son, what are you asking."

"Your company represented Ana."

"How do you know… the course you're doing at the prison."

"Yes. Ana is part of my group. I was looking online to see if I could find information on her mother so I would know what she looked like when she was out and I came upon the article. Your company is named as defending Ana."

"Why would you need to know….. oh shit."

"Because when she comes out of prison, I want to protect the woman I love from anyone who would try and hurt her, especially her mother."

I don't think I have ever seen my Dad so shocked before as he reached for his phone.

"Luke, are you busy….can you come into my office then."

Dad looked to me, gesturing for me to take a seat.

Luke soon entered, shaking my hand before Dad handed him the paper I had brought.

"What's this about Christian, why do you want to know about Ana."

"I teach English over at the prison."

"You're the one who stayed with Ana when she was hurt" he said, cutting me off.

"Yes, I was just setting up for my lesson when the alarms went off. Officer Taylor asked me to talk to her."

"She speaks very fondly of you and with you here now, it's confirmed what I thought."

"Which is" I asked, not liking his tone.

"That something is going on."

"Nothing has happened, I would never risk Ana's release like that. Yes, we have grown closer and I can't deny that I have fallen in love with her beautiful smile, her intelligent mind but I would never cross that line. When she's outside and ready for something more, then I will be waiting."

"Nothing has happened" he asked.

"Nothing, apart from a hug which she initiated" My kiss to her forehead was between us two. "I came here because I want to protect her. She shut down that night, not just because of her injury but because of that woman who dares to call herself Ana's mother."

"Carla Morton is the worst breed of evil you can ever imagine. She destroyed Ana in that courtroom" He said angrily. "Until she got on the stand, Ana was hopeful that everyone would see that it was self-defence. Ana saved her mother that night when her husband was strangling her, getting the same treatment in the process. She reached for the scissors to survive, not knowing she would deal a fatal blow. It was her mother's statement that led to Ana's arrest, being dragged out of her father's house in the middle of the night. It was her mother's words in court that ripped every shred of happiness from that young woman life. I have become protective of Ana over the years. The guilt I felt of not helping her that day was nothing to what she has had to go through in the past five years."

"You didn't fail her Luke, everyone who believed those lies in the courtroom did. Before you think by speaking to Christian you have betrayed Anastasia, anyone that day could've seen everything you described" My Dad told him.

"Ana needs protecting Christian. She needs time at home with her Dad without the interference of that woman."

"What can we do, what can I do."

"A restraining order has been filed, harassment charges have been threatened. If she breaks them then I will make sure she rots in the same prison that her daughter was sent to."

"She won't last five minutes in there Luke, those women are incredibly protective of Ana. She wouldn't get out alive."

"Well for her sake then, I hope she takes the order seriously."

….

APOV

It seems like forever since Ros and Gwen had been gone from the wing and I miss them terribly. Things always quickly go back to normal around here but I don't want normal, I want my girls back together again.

The only bright light on my days has been Christian. Feeling his arms around me on that Friday, I didn't want him to ever let go. I had been worried when our next lesson came around that I had pushed too far with the letter I wrote to him, because he would know how I feel. It was the only way I could do it, spell it out in a way that I couldn't say with words. Words spoken in this place could get you in a lot of trouble so the written word had to do. He had commended me on my work, that it was perfect, and he was looking forward to more like that.

We had only spoken for a few minutes, trying to make it sound like we were discussing my work. Despite Christian telling Hyde that he wasn't needed, he continued to stay. Christian apologised if he had overstepped, but he needed to see what that woman looked like, wanting to make her stay away. I wasn't mad, I know she won't just let everything go when I get out there so I appreciated any help I could get. I'm sure the girls in here will make her feel welcome if she comes near me.

Kate said Hyde needs to get with Morgan when we got back to our cell as waiting for Leila to come back, if she ever does is making him miserable and everyone else on the wing.

Being back at work has been a relief, it had calmed me down so I could focus on everything around me. Babs was still a chatterbox but she was fun, just being herself. She would definitely brighten up the wing if she was on ours, although having her bouncing around in small doses was enough.

"Mail's here" Mia said, looking toward Gail who had come into the food hall at dinner with her arms full.

I wasn't expecting anything as I had received a letter yesterday from my Dad. So when my name was called, I was surprised.

I took the envelope from Gail, seeing the smile on her face. She obviously knew what was written as it would've been checked.

"What did you get" I asked Kate, who had some photos of Ethan's wedding.

"Wow, I love the dress" I said, taking them from her. His wife looked like a princess and although Kate was sad to miss it, you could see how happy she was for her brother.

"Did your Dad send you something again" Mia asked me as I looked down to my own mail.

"I'm not complaining if he did" I smiled, pulling the card from the envelope. A valentine's card is not really my Dads style.

I opened the card, my smile growing bigger as I read the message within.

To place a kiss upon your head

special moments that are just ours

to wrap you in my arms so tight

to kiss you under the stars

I will wait however long you need

for you to be all mine

until then let your imagination fly

please be my valentine

Waiting patiently to be yours

xxx

"Oh my god, Ana has a valentine" Mia said as I brought it to my face, smelling his unique scent.

"Don't sound so shocked, I'm not that bad" I told her.

"It must be a good one from the smile on your face Ana" Kate teased.

"The best, I would say" I said, a beaming smile on my face.

"What does it say" Hannah asked as I put it back in the envelope.

"Not telling" I smiled.

"Did you get a card Ana, who's it off" Andrea asked.

"Just someone who I hope to spend a lot of time with when I get outside."

I looked over to Mia, who winked at me, her smile matching my own.

I couldn't believe that he had sent a card, knowing that it would be read by others before it reached me. There was nothing in it that would identify Christian unless you knew about our hug.

We moved back to our cell once dinner was over, the card not leaving my hand. If I could bottle the high that this one thing had given me, it would last me until I was outside.

"I wonder what Ana's mystery admirer looks like" Hannah said when we were all in bed that night.

"Tall, dark and handsome on the outside, I have no doubt."

"On the outside, what do you mean Kate" I asked.

"Well most men are well groomed outside the house but get them at home and they either have their hand down their pants, scratching their balls and are either farting or burping."

I lay giggling, thinking if Christian was like that. He was always well groomed, whether in a suit or his jeans but either way I didn't care, I wanted him.

…

Breakfast Friday morning brought me two more gifts in the shape of Ros and Gwen. I was out of my seat and wrapped in between them before anyone else could move. Officer Reynolds was trying to get them to go back to their cell but Ros stood her ground and wouldn't move until she made sure I was ok.

"Not long now Mouse until you're out of this place."

"But for you now, it will be longer" I said as she brushed my tear away.

"Oh, Ana some things in life are worth spending time for. Putting Leila Williams in her place was the highlight of my year. Maybe add that woman into the mix and it will feel like Christmas."

"Don't ever change Ros, you either Gwen."

"We won't Ana, don't worry about that. Yes, we have more time but we are still due to get out together."

I reluctantly let them go then, not wanting Reynolds to get into trouble for not doing his job. The girls had an extra cell mate who had moved in a couple of days ago and from her attitude already, she won't last long in there.

…

My stomach was full of butterflies as I walked toward the library with Hannah and Mia. I had read the card so many times that I'm surprised the writing had not worn away. It resides under my pillow, keeping it safe.

"Take a seat ladies" Christian said as we entered the room.

Is it wrong that I wanted to touch him, especially today. He was dressed in a suit, maybe coming from his real job. I don't know, but he made me smile.

Our work from the previous lesson was given back, his words of encouragement written on top. I didn't have time to speak to him until towards the end of the lesson. Christian had been working hard to get the girls up to the level where they can get their diploma, some he had to work with during the group but I didn't mind, they all deserved the chance to succeed.

"How are you Ana" he asked me, picking my work up as he stood by the side of my table. With no Gwen here now, we had space between us and Mia who was closest.

"I'm doing well, it's a lot calmer around here now. I hope it stays that way."

"Did you get a valentine from anyone" he whispered.

"Yes, I got one from someone very special, someone who I hoped to get to know better when I'm out of here."

"He's an incredibly lucky man then" Christian said, a beaming smile on his face.

He placed my work down onto my desk, before going over to the girls on the other side of the room who needed help.

"Mr Grey did you send any Valentines" Hannah asked him, when we had finished the lesson.

"To my mother, always. I have given her a card since I was little."

"You're a mummy's boy then" Mia laughed.

"I cannot deny that" he smiled.

"Well we were treated to a movie last night, day after valentines. Just what you want to watch when you're stuck in here, a romance. Titanic" Andrea complained.

"Oh Jack, I will never let go" Casey gripped her arm, resulting in giggles around the room.

"It was nice to do something different" I told her.

"Definitely" Mia smiled. "Did you have plans this valentines, took a special lady out."

"No. The lady I like wasn't available. Next year, I will make sure it's extra special."

"Lucky lady" Andrea moaned. "I need a man."

"Prison isn't exactly the place to look Andrea" Hannah told her. "Unless you're partial to Officer Hyde."

There were vomiting noises throughout the room, making Christian laugh.

"The poetry we just had to write, we could've written smutty valentines" Hannah laughed.

"And make me blush" Christian said, his eyes always shifting my way. "Now Next lesson, I'm going to give you a mock test to see how you're doing. Now before you panic, it's just to see what we still need to work on."

"I hated tests in school, not sure I'm going to like them in here either" Mia told him.

"Just do your best Mia, that's all you can do."

We all rose from our seats when Taylor came in to tell us our time was up. Although there were no touches this lesson, we both knew where we stood. When I get out of here, when I'm free, Christian will be waiting for me.

Thank you for reading

I now know why I didn't like poetry when I was in high school. It takes forever to try and write something that resembles a rhyme.

Take care

Caroline.