CHAPTER TEN
FOUR'S POV
"You can read Will," Christina says as she hands Will the book.
"Never thought I would see that," Eric remarks.
"What do you mean?" Christina asks.
"You always have your mouth open and words coming out. I thought you would love to have an excuse to talk," Eric replies with a smirk on his face.
Christina looks upset but doesn't reply so Will starts reading.
CHAPTER NINE
One of the factionless started a fire so we could heat up our food. Those who want to eat sit in a circle around the large metal bowl that contains the fire, first heating the cans, then passing out spoons and forks, then passing cans around so everyone can have a bite of everything. I try not to think about how many diseases could spread this way as I dip my spoon into a can of soup.
"That is disgusting," Lynn grimaces.
"Just another fun part of being factionless," Tori says.
Edward drops to the ground next to me and takes the can of soup from my hands.
"So you were all Abnegation, huh?" He shovels several noodles and a piece of carrot into his mouth, and passes the can to the woman on his left.
"We were," I say. "But obviously Tobias and I transferred, and ..." Suddenly it occurs to me that I shouldn't tell anyone Caleb joined Erudite. "Caleb and Susan are still Abnegation."
"Really he is factionless," Shauna says.
"Looks like we all could be, with what is happening," Tori says.
"I hope we find out where we are and if we are alive soon," Lynn grumbles.
"Don't worry Lynn," Zeke says holding up a T-shirt with an X on it. "I've got your shirt all ready if you're not."
"Great," Lynn mutters.
"And he's your brother. Caleb," he says. "You ditched your family to become Dauntless?"
"You sound like the Candor," I say irritably. "Mind keeping your judgments to yourself?"
Therese leans over. "He was Erudite first, actually. Not Candor."
"I don't like this Therese character," Zeke comments.
"Yeah, I know," I say, "I—"
She interrupts me. "So was I. Had to leave, though."
"What happened?"
"I wasn't smart enough." She shrugs and takes a can of beans from Edward, plunging her spoon into it. "I didn't get a high enough score on my initiation intelligence test. So they said, 'Spend your entire life cleaning up the research labs, or leave.' And I left."
"That is ridiculous," Marlene says. "I would much rather be a cleaner than have to live like the factionless. Just the way they eat is enough." Marlene shudders as she says this.
"I suppose cleaning isn't for everyone," Tori chips in.
"Lazy bastards," Eric snaps. "They would rather beg Abnegation for food than have a warm bed and food because they don't want to do a cleaning job. She must have known she wasn't as smart as her fellow Erudite."
"That's true," Tori confirms. "They are always making you do intelligence tests as you are growing up."
"Is that why you left?" Tris asks.
Tori laughs. "No," she replies with a shake of her head. "I was in the top ten percent for my age. Doesn't mean that I wanted to stay though."
"Me too," Will tells us. "There is only a small amount of Erudite dependants that are like this Therese person. They usually transfer out. But a lot of the smartest people transfer too. Eric was top of his year."
"You where?" Tris sounds surprised.
"Don't sound so shocked Tris," Eric chuckles.
"I didn't mean it like that. Why would you leave if you fit in so well," Tris replies.
"Just because I could test well doesn't mean that I fit in," Eric says.
"Or was it that you were planted in Dauntless by Jeanine?" I ask.
"You are on very thin ice Four," Eric replies.
"Or maybe I am saying the truth," I counter.
"You know nothing," Eric sounds irritated.
"Enough you two," Max calls out. "Keep reading Will."
She looks down and licks her spoon clean. I take the beans from her and pass them along to Tobias, who is staring at the fire.
"Are many of you from Erudite?" I say.
Therese shakes her head. "Most are from Dauntless, actually." She jerks her head toward Edward, who scowls. "Then Erudite, then Candor, then a handful of Amity. No one fails Abnegation initiation, though, so we have very few of those, except for a bunch who survived the simulation attack and came to us for refuge."
"But it isn't just people who fail initiation is it?" Tris asks.
"There are lots of reasons," Eric says. "I think there is a larger amount who fail initiation than the rest that are there."
"If so many people fail initiation," Tris starts. "Doesn't that mean that the system is flawed? Shouldn't we be trying to help them?"
"People like that Therese don't want help Tris," Eric replies. "If she did she wouldn't have become factionless in the first place. She had a job, food, shelter and she still chose to become factionless."
"I understand that," Tris says. "But wouldn't it be better to let them try again, in a different faction? We wouldn't have so many factionless then. Crime rates would go down. They would be contributing to society. Abnegation wouldn't have to use so many resources to help them."
"I think they are all good points," Tori says. "But how would we even get someone to consider such a plan."
"Well either of these two," Eric points to Tris and I. "Could talk to the person they call "Dad". Marcus and Andrew are both in a position where they could make changes.
But from what I can see Marcus is making it as hard as possible for the factionless."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Ever since your mother arrived in the factionless sector, Marcus has done everything he can to make their lives more uncomfortable," Max answers. "He wanted to stop the distribution of food and clothing to the factionless but the council over ruled him. I think that was a first, he has always been able to get what he wants. Then he had Dauntless stop their patrols of the factionless. Which has caused there to be more crime among them. He is always trying to limit them in some way and I now think it is because of Evelyn."
"He is one sick bastard," Zeke says shaking his head.
"You have no idea," Max replies.
I wonder what he means by that. I don't dare ask, not in front of so many, I've had enough dirty laundry spilled out to last me a lifetime. I will have to try and get Max alone to ask him about his comments.
"I guess I shouldn't be surprised about Dauntless," I say.
"Well, yeah. You've got one of the worst initiations, and there's that whole old-age thing."
"Old-age thing?" I say. I glance at Tobias. He is listening now, and he looks almost normal again, his eyes thoughtful and dark in the firelight.
"Once the Dauntless reach a certain level of physical deterioration," he says, "they are asked to leave. In one way or another."
"What's the other way?" My heart pounds, like it already knows an answer I can't face without prompting.
"Let's just say," says Tobias, "that for some, death is preferable to factionlessness."
"I still can't believe that is what happens," Christina sighs. "We need to change this rule."
"I agree," Tris says. "We can learn so much from our elders. I bet they have some stories to tell. Can't we find a way to help them?"
"If we survive this war then maybe you should take a leadership position Tris," Eric smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"Maybe I will," Tris retorts.
"Those people are idiots," says Edward. "I'd rather be factionless than Dauntless."
"How fortunate that you ended up where you did, then," says Tobias coldly.
"Fortunate?" Edward snorts. "Yeah. I'm so fortunate, with my one eye and all."
"I seem to recall hearing rumors that you provoked that attack," says Tobias.
"What are you talking about?" I say. "He was winning, that's all, and Peter was jealous, so he just ..."
I see the smirk on Edward's face and stop talking. Maybe I don't know everything about what happened during initiation.
"There was an inciting incident," says Edward. "In which Peter did not come out the victor. But it certainly didn't warrant a butter knife to the eye."
"But it wasn't Peter who did it," Eric says. "I think whoever saw the incident between the two would probably be the culprit. My money is on Molly, she had this weird obsession with Peter."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"I don't know how to explain it. She was always watching him. Would do anything that he said. I caught the three of them in the dorms one afternoon and it was disturbing to say the least," Eric says shaking his head.
"What were they doing?" Zeke asks.
Eric just shakes his head. "I, I just. No just forget I said anything."
"Come on Eric," Uriah whines. "Just tell us."
"Later, I am not saying anything with ladies in the room," Eric replies.
I can't even imagine what he is talking about. Eric isn't often lost for words and he usually wouldn't care about who was present when he opens his mouth.
"No arguments here," says Tobias. "If it makes you feel any better, he got shot in the arm from a foot away during the simulation attack."
And it does seem to make Edward feel better, because his smirk carves a deeper line into his face.
"Who did that?" he says. "You?"
Tobias shakes his head. "Tris did."
"Well done," Edward says.
I nod, but I feel a little sick to be congratulated for that.
Well, not that sick. It was Peter, after all.
"That was such a great moment," Christina laughs.
"Yeah Tris, you shouldn't feel sick about it. He would have killed you, he'd already tried once before," Uriah says.
I stare at the flames wrapping around the fragments of wood that fuel them. They move and shift, like my thoughts. I remember the first time I realized I had never seen an elderly Dauntless. And when I realized my father was too old to climb the paths of the Pit. Now I understand more about that than I'd like to.
"Do you know much about how things are right now?" Tobias asks Edward. "Did all the Dauntless side with Erudite? Has Candor done anything?"
"Finally," Lynn sighs.
"Shh," Uriah says.
"Don't shh me," Lynn snaps.
"Let Will read," Max snaps.
"Dauntless is split in half," Edward says, talking around the food in his mouth. "Half at Erudite headquarters, half at Candor headquarters. What's left of Abnegation is with us. Nothing much has happened yet. Except for whatever happened to you, I guess."
Tobias nods. I feel a little relieved to know that half of the Dauntless, at least, are not traitors.
"I can't believe I am stuck in Candor," Lynn huffs.
"You don't know that," Zeke teases her. "You could be with the traitors."
"As if," Lynn scoffs.
I eat spoonful after spoonful until my stomach is full. Then Tobias gets us sleeping pallets and blankets, and I find an empty corner for us to lie down in. When he bends over to untie his shoes, I see the symbol of Amity on the small of his back, the branches curling over his spine. When he straightens, I step across the blankets and put my arms around him, brushing the tattoo with my fingers.
Tobias closes his eyes. I trust the dwindling fire to disguise us as I run my hand up his back, touching each tattoo without seeing it. I imagine Erudite's staring eye, Candor's unbalanced scales, Abnegation's clasped hands, and the Dauntless flames. With my other hand I find the patch of fire tattooed over his rib cage. I feel his heavy breaths against my cheek.
"I wish we were alone," he says.
"I almost always wish that," I say.
"I agree," I say.
"What you get alone time," Zeke says.
"Yeah, right," I scoff and Eric starts laughing.
"What is so funny?" Zeke asks.
"I walked in on them and Tris was topless," Eric says between laughs.
"Tris," Marlene sounds excited. "Did you try that thing?"
Tris has gone bright red as she shakes her head no to Marlene, this is way beyond one of her usual blushes. I can't help but chuckle at her embarrassment. I wonder what Marlene is talking about.
"Well, maybe you need to lock your door," Zeke advises.
"Yeah, like that ever helps," I say. "You just stand on the other side of the door screaming at us. We may as well be sleeping in the Pit for all the traffic that goes through our room."
Everyone is laughing at my comment. I just shake my head.
"That is a page break," Will says.
I drift off to sleep, carried by the sound of distant conversations. These days it's easier for me to fall asleep when there is noise around me. I can focus on the sound instead of whatever thoughts would crawl into my head in silence. Noise and activity are the refuges of the bereaved and the guilty.
"Do you think we are feeling like Tris?" Marlene asks.
"Why would you wonder that?" Shauna asks.
"We killed people while we were under that sim. Do you think we would be feeling like Tris?" Marlene replies.
"Only if you killed your best friend," Christina snipes.
"You really need to get a grip Christina," I say. Sick to death of her comments about Tris shooting Will. "You should be grateful that she does feel the way she does. I wouldn't. I'm sure most people in this room wouldn't. It was a kill or be killed situation. She didn't have much choice."
"But-," Christina starts to say.
Eric cuts her off. "I agree with Four," he says. "We are soldiers and you need to start remembering that. I bet you have killed."
"But I didn't have a choice. You made sure of that," Christina scream.
"Neither did Tris," Lynn says. "It's sad he died but he did, there is nothing you can do about it now. Except that it hasn't happened yet, so you can still do something about it."
"Don't worry. I intend to do everything I can for it not to happen," Christina says. She isn't looking at Lynn though, she is looking at Max.
I wake when the fire is just a glow, and only a few of the factionless are still up. It takes me a few seconds to figure out why I woke up: I heard Evelyn's and Tobias's voices, a few feet away from me. I stay still and hope they don't discover that I'm awake.
"You'll have to tell me what's going on here if you expect me to consider helping you," he says. "Though I'm still not sure why you need me at all."
I see Evelyn's shadow on the wall, flickering with the fire. She is lean and strong, just like Tobias. Her fingers twist into her hair as she speaks.
"What would you like to know, exactly?"
"Tell me about the chart. And the map."
"Your friend was correct in thinking that the map and the chart listed all of our safe houses," she says. "He was wrong about the population counts ... sort of. The numbers don't document all the factionless—only certain ones. And I'll bet you can guess which ones those are."
"I'm not in the mood for guessing."
"Cranky Four has come out to play," Zeke teases.
She sighs. "The Divergent. We're documenting the Divergent."
"How do you know who they are?"
"Before the simulation attack, part of the Abnegation aid effort involved testing the factionless for a certain genetic anomaly," she says. "Sometimes that testing involved re-administering the aptitude test. Sometimes it was more complicated than that. But they explained to us that they suspected we might have the highest Divergent population of any group in the city."
"I don't understand. Why—"
"Why would the factionless have a high Divergent population?" It sounds like she's smirking. "Obviously those who can't confine themselves to a particular way of thinking would be most likely to leave a faction or fail its initiation, right?"
"That's not what I was going to ask," he says. "I want to know why you care how many Divergent there are."
"The Erudite are looking for manpower. They found it temporarily in Dauntless. Now they'll be looking for more, and we're the obvious place, unless they figure out that we've got more Divergent than any other group. Just in case they don't, I want to know how many people we've got who are resistant to simulations."
"Fair enough," he says, "but why were the Abnegation so concerned with finding the Divergent? It wasn't to help Jeanine, was it?"
"Of course not," she says. "But I'm afraid I don't know. The Abnegation were reluctant to provide information that only serves to relieve curiosity. They told us as much as they believed we should know."
"That can't be true," Eric says. "Abnegation must be hiding something. Whatever Jeanine stole must have to do with the Divergent."
"Why do you say that?" I ask.
"Jeanine has an obsession with the Divergent. She wants them gone. I don't know why," he says.
"Strange," he mumbles.
"Perhaps you should ask your father about it," she says. "He was the one who told me about you."
"About me," says Tobias. "What about me?"
"That he suspected you were Divergent," she says. "He was always watching you. Noting your behavior. He was very attentive to you. That's why ... that's why I thought you would be safe with him. Safer with him than with me."
"She is just full of excuses," Lynn says.
Tobias says nothing.
"I see now that I must have been wrong."
"You are only just figuring that out," Zeke screams at the book.
"Zeke we've discussed this," Shauna says.
"I don't care. Four is my friend," Zeke starts. "He doesn't deserve these shitty parents."
"Thanks Zeke," I say.
Zeke just nods his head to me. I hate thinking about all this shit. It just makes my head hurt.
He still says nothing.
"I wish—" she starts.
"Don't you dare try to apologize." His voice shakes. "This is not something you can bandage with a word or two and some hugging, or something."
"Okay," she says. "Okay. I won't."
"You tell her," Zeke calls out. I can't help but smile. I was so worried he would stay angry at me for not telling him about Evelyn but here he is defending me. I lucked out the day I met Zeke.
"For what purpose are the factionless uniting?" he says. "What do you intend to do?"
"We want to usurp Erudite," she says. "Once we get rid of them, there's not much stopping us from controlling the government ourselves."
"That's what you expect me to help you with. Overthrowing one corrupt government and instating some kind of factionless tyranny." He snorts. "Not a chance."
"We don't want to be tyrants," she says. "We want to establish a new society. One without factions."
I hear gasps around the room. I shouldn't be surprised with their responses. We have all only ever known the faction system, I don't think I could fathom a world without factions. But then if it was set up right, maybe. I don't know. Maybe.
My mouth goes dry. No factions? A world in which no one knows who they are or where they fit? I can't even fathom it. I imagine only chaos and isolation.
Tobias lets out a laugh. "Right. So how are you going to usurp Erudite?"
"Sometimes drastic change requires drastic measures." Evelyn's shadow lifts a shoulder. "I imagine it will involve a high level of destruction."
"She is starting to sound like Jeanine," Eric comments.
God help us all if that is the case.
I shiver at the word "destruction." Somewhere in the darker parts of me, I crave destruction, as long as it is Erudite being destroyed. But the word carries new meaning for me, now that I have seen what it can look like: gray-clothed bodies slung across curbs and over sidewalks, Abnegation leaders shot on their front lawns, next to their mailboxes. I press my face into the pallet I'm sleeping on, so hard it hurts my forehead, just to force the memory out, out, out.
"As for why we need you," Evelyn says. "In order to do this, we will need Dauntless's help. They have the weapons and the combat experience. You could bridge the gap between us and them."
"Do you think I'm important to the Dauntless? Because I'm not. I'm just someone who isn't afraid of much."
"I think you underestimate the respect you have in Dauntless," Max says.
"I don't deserve anyone's respect," I reply.
"I think you are looking at this the wrong way," Eric says. "You may have wanted to leave Dauntless Tobias. But you didn't. It is braver to stay than it would have been to run. As much as I hate to say it, it isn't just about your number of fears Four. You have excelled at everything you do in Dauntless. How many people do you think could take you in a fight? Or shoot with the accuracy that you do? Or your knife throwing skills."
"He is right," Max says.
I can't speak, I would like to say thank you but I can't. Not to the men who could in a few weeks be tearing our city apart with their misguided beliefs that Jeanine has instilled in them.
"What I am suggesting," she says, "is that you become important." She stands, her shadow stretching from ceiling to floor. "I am sure you can find a way, if you want to. Think about it."
She pulls back her curly hair and ties it in a knot. "The door is always open."
"I'd be shutting that damn door on her face," Tori snaps. "No wonder her and Marcus didn't get along. They are both power hungry scum."
A few minutes later he lies next to me again. I don't want to admit that I was eavesdropping, but I want to tell him I don't trust Evelyn, or the factionless, or anyone who speaks so casually about demolishing an entire faction.
Before I can muster the courage to speak, his breaths become even, and he falls asleep.
"I bet he doesn't tell her about the conversation," Zeke says.
"I'll take that bet," Tori says.
"I will too," Will says.
"Anyone else?" Zeke asks. "Okay, if you think he will tell Tris put your hand up."
Shauna, Max, Marlene and Lynn put their hands up.
"That's interesting," Zeke says. "We will just have to wait and see what happens."
"That's the chapter finished," Will says.
"Let's call it a night," Max says.
We all start to get up and go to our rooms.
I walk out of the bathroom with just a towel around me and Tris is standing in the middle of the bedroom.
I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her from behind. "You look lost in thought," I say.
"Did you mean what you said this morning?"
"Can you be more specific?"
"About me kissing Lynn?"
"Is there any part of my answer that won't get me in trouble?"
Tris laughs as she turns around to face me.
"I'm not trying to get you in trouble," she says. "I just was wondering about it. Is that what guys want to see?"
"I would be lying if I said it didn't sound hot. But I don't know if I'd like to see your lips on anyone but mine."
"So, you would rather if I just kiss you?" she asks with a smirk.
Where is this going? I think to myself.
"I would," I say. "Although the picture of you kissing Lynn is kinda stuck in my head right now."
Tris starts by kissing my lips. "I think I need to get rid of that image," she says as she is still kissing me.
"Okay," I answer as Tris moves her kisses to my jaw, then slowly to my ear. She starts to slowly plant wet kisses down my neck. I can't help but moan.
"You like this?" she asks.
"Mhmmm."
"Good. Is the image starting to fade away?" She asks as she licks my right nipple.
"Starting too," I say.
Tris is still moving her lips further down my body. I am going to lose complete control if she keeps this up. Then I realise where she is heading.
"Tris," I say.
"Tris."
"Yeah," she says all breathy. I can feel myself getting hard.
"Tris if you are going where I think you are going. At least let me sit down first," I say.
Tris starts to push me backwards not once taking her lips from my body. Oh God this feels so good. I feel my legs hit the back of the bed and I basically fall onto it.
As I was falling Tris has somehow taken the towel from around my waist and I am sitting here completely naked.
"Are the images still there?" she asks as she takes me in her mouth.
I look down and can only shake my head no.
"Holy fuck," I moan. "Where in the hell did you learn to do that?"
"mlne."
"Marlene?" I ask.
Tris looks up at me and nods and all thoughts of Tris and Lynn kissing have left my mind. Probably forever.
"Uriah's one lucky son of a bitch," I say as I watch Tris.
"Oh fuck that feels so good," I cry out.