AN1: This story is based on characters from Criminal Minds. I do not make any claims to have created them but I do enjoy writing them.

AN2: I'm planning on this being a rather long story. JJ's critically hurt and Emily passes the hours waiting for the woman she loves to wake up by recounting their life together. The story will toggle from the present to the past. I hope that isn't too confusing.

AN3: The story is rated T but some chapters will be M. I will warn you when I've turned up the heat.

AN4: A special thanks to my friend (you know who you are) that is always willing to let me bounce ideas off of her. And thank you to everyone that has been following this story (especially to those that have left such positive reviews)

Hope you enjoy. Please read and review.

****************************************************

Donna Jareau entered JJ's room with two cups of coffee in her hand and handed one to Emily.

"Good morning, Donna."

Mrs. Jareau handed Emily one of the cups she was carrying. "Good morning. I wasn't sure how you take your coffee so", she said reaching into her jacket pocket, "here you go." She pulled out sugar and sweetener packets in white, yellow, pink, and blue and some little creamer shots.

Emily could tell that JJ's mom was attempting to make an effort and Emily made a mental note to try and meet her halfway…for JJ's sake. Emily smiled, "That's exactly what JJ did the first time she brought me coffee." The memory of that moment, so sweet and caring, just like JJ, made Emily chuckle as she took the pile from JJ's mother.

"Thanks for the coffee" Emily said as she opened a little yellow packet, poured it into her coffee, and stirred it with the plastic stirrer that had also been handed to her. "And Donna, I'm sorry about yesterday. I had no right to lay into you about me and JJ and our relationship."

"Maybe, maybe not. I'm still getting used to my daughter being a, um, …"

"Lesbian?"

"Yes, a lesbian. I know that I've made it hard on you two but..."

"Donna," Emily cut her off, "Can we please not talk about this right now? I just wanted to apologize. Maybe we can talk about what I said a little later. All I have the strength to do right now is drink this coffee and talk a little to JJ."

"Very well, Emily. I understand." She then turned to her only daughter and said, " Honey, I spoke with your dad. He's trying to get her as soon as possible. He loves you and so do I," she said gently squeezing JJ's foot and then moving over to sit back in the chair by the window where she had sat the day before.

Donna had to be honest and admit to herself that she was impressed on how much this woman – a woman she tried so hard to dislike – really seemed to love her daughter. And she already knew that her daughter loved this woman very much. Isn't that what every mother wants, for their children to be happy and not to love in vain? She asked herself. Are you being shortsighted by not seeing how special this relationship is?

Donna Jareau was a little surprised at herself. It was the first time she had just said relationship and hadn't qualified it by placing the word lesbian before it. As she settled into the chair she watched the dark-haired woman looking over her daughter and could hear her begin to speak.

******************************************

The town JJ grew up in was small, very small. As the arrived in town they passed a couple of churches, a cemetery and both the elementary and high schools.

"My dad's parents are buried in that cemetery. My parents still go to church there."

"Are they religious, JJ?"

"I guess they are. One thing they are for certain though is narrow minded," JJ replied softly

Emily grabbed JJ's hand. "This isn't going to be easy is it? For either of us."

JJ didn't answer her.

Emily could tell as they drove down the main street it didn't have a whole lot to offer. A couple of small family type restaurants, a drug store, a bank, a small grocery story, and a one screen theater that was showing a movie that was released the year before. It was quaint but in a forgettable blip on the map kind of way, not in a quaint way that would attract visitors. The town didn't have a hotel, or even a motel, so JJ had booked them in a hotel a few miles away. It seemed like a nice place to grow up but Emily could certainly understand why JJ would feel suffocated and want to leave so badly. JJ drove towards the end of the main street – her car one of the nicest they had come upon – and turned at the corner where two bars stood catty-corner from each other.

"They call this 'widow crossing' because during football season every man in town can be found right here drinking beer and watching the Steelers play; that includes my dad and my brothers."

"But you like the team in D.C, right?"

"The Redskins. Yes." JJ smiled widely. Her girlfriend knew shit about sports. "I've always liked to be a little different and started to really follow them when I went to Georgetown. Did not please my father."

As they made their turn and started to head out of the "business district" of East Allegheny, Emily saw a closed mechanic's shop that's sign read "Jareau and Son Auto".

"Must have closed the shop for Paul's wedding," JJ said quietly

Emily watched JJ carefully take in the town she grew up almost as if was the first time she'd ever been there. Emily was very concerned how big a toll this weekend was going to take on her girlfriend.

"That your dad's shop?"

"Yeah. It was my grandfather's business. My dad worked for him and now my brother Andrew works for my dad."

"Your brother Paul doesn't work there because they didn't want to change the sign to 'Sons'?" Emily said trying to break the mood she could see starting to overtake JJ.

"Hmmph. Maybe." JJ chuckled. She knew her girlfriend was trying to lighten the heaviness that was starting to permeate the car. "Really it's because Paul and my dad haven't always seen eye to eye so they'd never be able to work together. That's why he joined the Army out of high school. Served in Afghanistan for a while before finally coming home about 4 years ago. Still with the National Guard."

"Really? That's awesome," Emily knew JJ was proud of her brother. "I can't believe your brothers still live here."

"Yeah well, I guess they like the small town life. For me, it was suffocating. I couldn't wait to get out. To live somewhere where you had a little privacy and not everybody knew your business."

Emily could tell that JJ was really apprehensive about being here and, although she knew this weekend was going to be tough, Emily was glad she could be here for JJ.

JJ continued, "The whole town knew when I lost my virginity because Kyle was naïve enough to buy condoms from the local drug store."

"Oh no."

"Tell me about it. When my dad heard, he just about wanted to castrate Kyle. I knew the townspeople talked but it was the first time it really had been directed at me. I could literally feel every head turn towards me when I walked into a room. The whispers. The knowing smiles. Maybe it was all my imagination but that's the way this town makes you feel…claustrophobic and invaded. I think that's why I've been such a disappointment to my family, my mother especially." JJ said with a heavy sigh

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want this life. God, do you know what I'd be doing right now if I stayed here? I'd be a housewife, maybe a clerk at the local grocery store, married to Kyle with three or four kids. And probably ready to stick my head in the oven."

"JJ, pull over for a sec."

JJ pulled over on the rural road they had been driving on.

"Honey, I'm here for you. I love you. If you don't want to be here, we can turn this car around and head back home."

Emily could see JJ was struggling to hold back her emotions. This town really made JJ seethe. Small town life is good for some people but definitely not for JJ.

"She's going to do it again when I see her. Make me feel like I'm a disappointment. That I'm wasting my life with the FBI when what I should be doing is finding a man so I can get married and start a family."

"JJ she can't make you feel like that. You can only do that to yourself. And Jennifer you don't have to be with a man for that to happen." Emily held JJ's hand and looked her dead in the eye when she said that. Emily knew that at some point in time they were going to have to have a discussion about their future but, with that look, Emily wanted JJ to know that Emily saw that future with her.

Emily pulled JJ's hand up to her mouth and kissed her knuckles "I love you, Jennifer."

JJ nodded her head and steeled her nerves to continue the short distance to the home she grew up in.

JJ drove past the clapboard houses that dotted the area on the way to JJ's childhood home. Emily noticed that the area was nice but a little depressed. People took pride in their homes but you could certainly tell that it wasn't a town of great wealth. The yards were huge and the houses rather spread out from each other. Some people had junky cars on their lots but, for the most part, Emily could see that the houses and yards were well kept and were the homes of people that worked hard for what they had. Emily couldn't help but also notice that woods, with thick trees and heavy brush, surrounded the entire town. Emily kept thinking about JJ and her nightmares. While Emily could see how they could definitely manifest themselves into JJ's subconscious, she wondered if there was more to the story than met the eye.

The Jareau home was almost the last place on the way out of town. JJ turned into the dirt driveway and parked her car behind at least a half-dozen others. Emily grabbed JJ's hand once more and gave it a gentle squeeze of reassurance before they both got out.

Emily allowed herself a moment to take everything in. This was, after all, the place where her girlfriend had grown up. It was a large lot, probably the largest of the ones Emily had seen since they'd arrived, about a quarter-acre that butted up against a heavily wooded area. Upon it sat a large two-story clapboard house with a wraparound porch. The house probably could use a coat of paint soon but other than that, it was lovely and well kept. It had a small grassy front lawn surrounded by a beautiful garden that was separated from the rest of the lot by a white picket fence. There were two out buildings on the land. One housed a car up on a lift and was surrounded by even more cars than were in the driveway, which Emily presumed was James Jareau's garage. The other was further out back and Emily thought maybe it was a barn but she couldn't be certain. Emily could imagine a young JJ playing in the front yard, laughing and running around and the image made Emily smile. It seemed rather idyllic to Emily considering her own upbringing, the constant moving around, but then she and JJ had discussed how JJ thought traveling the world and seeing everything Emily had seen in her life was far more exciting than the small one note town that she had grown up in. Emily, meanwhile, had always just longed to put down some roots.

"Profiling my family's home, Agent Prentiss?" JJ asked bringing Emily out of her own head.

"You know me so well, Agent Jareau,"

"JENNY!!"

Emily startled when she heard a loud yell coming from the front door.

"Hey everyone, Jenny is home!"

Off the front porch came a woman about JJ's size, maybe about 30 years older, a tad shorter, and 10-15 pounds heavier. She was pretty with sandy blond hair that was pulled back away from her face so Emily could see her hazel colored eyes. Emily noticed the resemblance between JJ and this woman and would have known at once it was her mother - even if she hadn't already seen pictures of her in JJ's home.

JJ walked through the white picket fence and into the front yard leaving the gate open for Emily to follow her through. Emily watched as the older woman gave JJ a hug. Emily heard the front door open and watched as several more people – including a couple of large strapping men – came bounding off the front porch. Emily stood awkwardly, nervously picking at her nails, near the fence as she watched everyone surround her girlfriend and give her hugs.

When everyone was done fussing over JJ being home, JJ motioned for Emily to join her.

"Everyone, this is Emily Prentiss, my friend from the Bureau."

Emily was introduced to Donna, JJ's brothers Andrew and Paul, Andrew's wife Maggie who was holding JJ's six-month old niece Abby, Andrew and Maggie's sons Jimmy and Kenny, and Paul's visibly pregnant fiancée, Courtney, the bride to be.

Although they were all polite enough in their greetings, Emily could definitely feel them sizing her up and giving her the once over. It was a little unsettling for her. "Where is the Kevlar when you really need it," Emily thought to herself.

JJ held out her hands to hold her niece. She hadn't been home since Christmas and Abby had grown so much in the three and a half months since JJ had last seen her. JJ told Emily seeing Abby was one of the things she was looking forward to the most.

"Hey pretty, girl," JJ cooed to Abby. "Gosh, she's gotten so big," she said to Maggie.

"THERE'S MY GIRL!" Came a boisterous holler from the front porch as the front screen door slammed shut.

Emily looked up to see an even larger version of JJ's brothers standing at the top step.

"Oh! Oh! Daddy!" JJ said handing Abby back to her sister-in-law

James Jareau was a big bear of a man. He stood about 6'2" and had to weigh a solid 230 pounds. Barrel-chested and arms the size of tree trunks, he gave off the impression of a man not to be messed with. Until he smiled which made his features soften and his eyes twinkle. Where Emily could certainly see the resemblance between JJ and Donna, JJ looked like her father. They had the same blond hair (at least when JJ didn't color hers), the same dazzling smile, and those same sky-blue colored eyes. James Jareau was a handsome man.

Emily smiled as she watched James lumber over to JJ, pick her up, and twirl her around like she was a little girl. "No wonder she put the baby down," Emily thought to herself, laughing at the sight. Emily loved the way that JJ laughed in her father's arms and Emily could tell that JJ was closer to her father than her mother just by the difference in the way JJ hugged them both. "Stop profiling her, you idiot," Emily chastised herself.

James put JJ back on the ground and directed his blue eyes at Emily

"Well, who'd you bring home with you, flash?"

JJ rolled her eyes. "Dad, this is Emily Prentiss. Emily, my father, James."

James directed a jovial smile at Emily as he took one of her hands into both of his and shook it. "Well aren't you pretty. Welcome to East Allegheny."

Emily began to think that maybe this weekend would turn out all right after all. The Jareau family had welcomed her into their home and seemed like a friendly group of people. "Much friendlier than the Prentiss family that's for sure," Emily thought.

That was until they all got inside and the questions started. They asked about Emily's family and upbringing. The Jareau's were a little surprised they had the daughter of a diplomat in their home. JJ's family, especially Donna, peppered pointed questions at her as to when she joined the bureau and why.

"So have you chosen career over marriage and family too, Emily?" asked Donna Jareau. "Like our Jennifer has?" she added digging at JJ

"I believe that you can have a balance of work and family," replied Emily sneaking a glance at JJ.

"Well Jenny hasn't managed to do it. We've been waiting to hear she's decided to leave that god-awful job she does and settle down. To end this whim she got while she was in college. She's far too pretty to spend her life doing this job."

"You know, Mrs. Jareau, your daughter is very well respected in the FBI. She's the face of the BAU but not because she's pretty, because she's good at her job."

Emily was trying so hard to protect her girlfriend without tipping off any feelings she had towards her. Everyone else in the room was surprisingly quiet and it was at that moment that Emily realized that Donna Jareau controlled this household. Emily could see James looking at his daughter, almost with pride, trying to lend some silent support. JJ's brothers were looking at each other like they were both wondering which one of them was going to step in and defend their sister. Maggie and Courtney looked so relieved, like they were happy that JJ was home simply so Donna could focus her attention on her for a change.

"Well she's done what she wanted to do. She's proved us all wrong."

"All wrong?"

JJ got up and walked towards the back of the house. Emily got up to follow her finding that JJ had made her way through the country-style kitchen and out to the back porch where Emily found her standing pinching the bridge of her nose like she always did when she was stressed. Emily just wanted to wrap her arms around her girlfriend and hug her but instead settled on standing beside her and putting her hand on her shoulder.

"All my life, I've just been the pretty girl," JJ started, "Undervalued because I wasn't a boy in a town that values men and considers women to be merely window-dressing. Something pretty to have on your arm. Someone to sleep with. My mother is that for my father. She was the prettiest girl in town, the homecoming queen. A cheerleader and my dad the football hero. That's what she wanted for me. She always entered me in the local beauty contests when I was a child. I hated it. Everyone ogling you, staring at you. I wanted more. I wanted to make something of myself that didn't revolved necessarily around my looks. And my mother always said I would never do it. That I was destined to always just be the pretty girl on someone's arm. That's why I am such a disappointment to her, because I didn't want her life." Emily watched as JJ was just staring off into space not really focusing on any thing in particular. Talking as if no one were listening, tears starting to form in her eyes.

But Emily was listening and she was crushed for JJ. How could your own mother make you feel like that? Emily wanted to pull JJ back over to the car and head back home to where JJ felt valued and important. Instead Emily grabbed the fabric of JJ's sleeve and pulled her in the direction of the "barn" out in the back. Once Emily felt they were out of sight and no one could hear them, she started to speak.

"JJ, look at me. Goddamnit, you are so much more than that and you know it. You've always known it. How can you let your mother make you feel that way? I have issues with my mother, you know that, but it's because she always felt I had more potential not less. She hates my job like your mother hates yours but because she considers me a glorified cop not because I'm not capable of doing the job. UGH!" Emily wanted to scream. Scream at Donna for making JJ feel like crap and scream at JJ for letting her.

"I'm okay, Em. I accepted this from her a long time ago." JJ said as a tear finally fell from her eye and rolled down her cheek.

Emily reached up and wiped the tear away, "God I hate that she has upset you like this, Jayj."

"I'm not upset, Em, I'm pissed. She does this to me every fucking time and it drives me insane. She wonders why I only come home once, maybe twice, a year. If Paul weren't getting married, I wouldn't be here right now. I'd be home with you…or on that getaway weekend we're trying to plan. Why do I let her get to me like this?"

"Because mother's have a way of doing that. They have a spectacular way of getting under our skin. We are both mature, intelligent, successful women with jobs that actually matter in this world and yet, we both let our mother's make us feel like shit. Because they both want something different for us than running around wearing a flak jacket, carrying a gun, and chasing down unsubs. Neither of them understands what it is we do or why it is we do it." Emily said as she pulled JJ into her for a hug.

"UGH! It's just I honestly thought it would be easier with you here. Maybe she would let if be for once if I had someone with me. I guess I was wrong and it is actually harder with you here."

"Why?"

"Because I hate that you have to hear this from her. What her opinion is of me and my job. Your job. I …"

Emily kissed her. Kissed her passionately and with every ounce of love she had for her. Emily didn't give a shit if anyone saw either. In fact, it would have been better if they had because then she could have explained to JJ's mother that JJ had everything that she needed. JJ's job hadn't made her miss out on a thing.

**************************************************

"I've always been very supportive of my daughter, Emily. How dare you say that I haven't," Donna said

Emily was wondering exactly how much Donna would let her say before she decided she needed to speak up. Emily had been waiting for this. Though it was probably going to take way more energy than she had right now, and it wasn't exactly the ideal place for it to occur, both she and JJ had let Donna get away with far too much crap when it came to their relationship…and their son. Emily grabbed JJ's hand for a couple of seconds once more to find the strength and then slowly turned to face Donna.

"Sure you have, Donna," Emily said not even pretending to hide her sarcasm, "As long as JJ did exactly what you wanted her to do. As long as she did your beauty pageants, dated the BMOC, was the Homecoming Queen. As long as people could come up to you and tell you what a beautiful daughter you have. Pay you a compliment."

"Emily, do not speak of what you know nothing about."

"You don't think I know that the only real source of pride you ever got from your daughter was from her beauty? What about everything else that she's accomplished? Do you know how hard she's had to work to get where she is? Your daughter is so impressive in the way she handles herself. She is so smart. She is so confident and self-assured and I'm really not sure how because you sure didn't help her out in that department. You tore her down every chance you got. You undermined every ounce of confidence someone else – her father, her coaches and teachers – have ever tried to give her and yet, she still has it. She has it in spades."

"I don't have to listen to this from you"

"Yes you do. It's about time you heard it from someone. That weekend at Paul's wedding was so hard on her. All weekend long you kept digging and digging at her about what a waste of time working for the FBI was. Asking her when she was going to come home and lead a 'normal' life. You didn't stop. You started up again right after we went back into the house, at the rehearsal dinner, even the next day at the wedding. The only peace she got all weekend long was with me at the hotel in Pittsburgh. And she was so agitated that I wouldn't exactly say she found peace there either."

"Yeah, well I guess I know what you were doing with her in that hotel room, don't I?"

"No, Donna, you don't. You'd like to think you do but you don't. What I did was listen to her talk and rant. You almost broke her, Donna. With your constant belittling. Pointing out at both the rehearsal dinner and the wedding how great Kyle – who was very nice to JJ and apparently very happily married – looked. How the two of them should never have broken up and how you would have loved to celebrate their wedding. Dig after dig, Donna. How she was wasting her life working for the BAU. How pointless it was to chase down serial killers because there was always going to be another one tomorrow. You tried so hard to tear her down. Congratulations Donna, you almost succeeded and if JJ weren't so strong you just may have. You took the intelligent, confidant, self-assured woman that I love and you made her start to doubt herself. And that's why I agreed with her when she made the decision to come clean about our relationship the day after Paul's wedding."

Donna had risen during Emily's tirade and moved closer to the profiler. Emily could see her words had an impact and had pissed Donna off. Emily, never one to be intimidated, had also decided to stand but she calmly faced her mother-in-law with her arms crossed in front of her.

"Did that make you feel better, Emily? Outing our daughter to her family."

"I didn't out her, Donna. It was her decision. She just figured at that point, it didn't seem like she had anything left to lose. You already didn't respect her as a person. It was one more thing for you to be disappointed about."

"It crushed her father."

Emily thought about what had happened the morning after JJ's brother's wedding and, although in the end she was happy that everything had been brought out into the open, she knew JJ had been upset about forever altering the relationship she had with her father.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter......Please review!!