Yup, back with another installment. I'd like to wish everybody (who cares, anyway) a happy St. Patrick's Day, since I'm mostly Irish (and German, English, Scottish, possibly Italian, Native American, French-Canadian and Pennsylvania Dutch – think Amish) and I've got to show my pride somehow since I only have a few drinks a year. I know it's a little late, but a snowstorm hit us, and I was pretty much buried in the house and then the library was closed.

If you're wondering what this chapter is about… I don't really know at the moment. My mind has been all over lately, and I really didn't pre-plan a lot. Probably, it'll be somewhat random and weird… Although that's not entirely unlike the rest of it, either…And the last chapter will more than likely continue in this, in some form.

Aside from that, there might be some stuff about "Dead Silence" in here, 'cause I'm dying to see that movie… We have to wait until the theater near here starts showing it, though. Right now they're showing 300, which I can't take seriously anymore because the guy with swords for arms makes me laugh every time they show a clip with him on TV… Yeah, I'm just that weird.

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Chapter 10

Walking Through the Halls

It was Jill's free period, and she was wandering the halls since she had nothing better to do. They were completely empty, except for the occasional janitor or hall monitor that would give her a weird look as they passed by, and the less occasional student cutting class to kick their lockers.

All in all, she really didn't care as long as the English teacher who kept hitting on her didn't pop up somewhere along her walk. What she wasn't expecting, though was…

"Hi, Jill!"

Jill jumped, impulsively punching whoever was right behind her in the face. "Oops – sorry, Dario. You scared the hell out of me…" she said politely, and he nodded from his spot on the floor.

"It's okay! This happens to me all the time," he said cheerfully, and she raised an eyebrow.

"That must suck."

"No, you get used to it."

"Um, okay." She turned away briefly to look back towards a student drawing the anarchy symbol on his locker with a Sharpie. When she turned back around, Dario was on his feet, suddenly wearing a red hat and a fake brown mustache. "What the…?"

"I'm on a quest," Dario explained, "Someone took my copy of Super Mario Brothers, and I've got to get it back!"

Jill just stared at him for a moment, considering walking away before she became too tempted to call the local mental hospital. "… And why are you dressed like Mario?"

"You can't go on a quest to find SMB without dressing the part. Hey, why don't you help me? You can be - "

"If you're about to say Princess Peach, no way. For that matter, no way in general. This whole situation is just way too weird…"

"Come on, if I don't find it I'll go crazy."

"Are you sure you haven't already?"

"Yes, but I have been getting deliveries of weird chemicals to the warehouse lately. They kind of smell like paint thinner and burning tires…"

"Were you breathing in the fumes or something?"

"Yeah, what's that problem with that?"

In Another Hall, Not All That Far Away

"Well, what do we do?" HUNK asked again, fifteen minutes later, when the halls had cleared out (except for Robert the Regenerator), and they were still standing there.

"I'm not the only one who's capable of having ideas, you know," Wesker said gruffly. "Besides, it doesn't look like he's going anywhere very quickly."

Indeed, Robert was only about a foot from where he'd started, making his way towards them at a record-breakingly slow pace.

"This is incredibly tedious," Birkin sighed. "Perhaps we could do something to liven things up a bit?"

"You're absolutely right, Will," Wesker replied. "We need to do something exciting."

"Like what?" HUNK said, looking around the hall for an idea.

"I'll be right back," Wesker said, walking off and disappearing around the corner.

"Wonder where he's going."

In the Spanish Room

Mendez hadn't heard from Salazaar since they'd come to the school district on the mountain, so in the meantime, while he was waiting to see what happened with Robert the once-French-student, he'd decided to give him a call over the radio.

"Ahh, Bitores," he said happily, popping up on the screen. "Wuz uuuuuppppp?"

"Wuz uuuuuppppp?" Mendez said back, not noticing the disturbed looks he was getting from the class while they were supposed to be taking a pop quiz.

"I got inspired to create my own Hotel Rwanda," Salazaar explained, "I'm working on it right now."

He turned to give the admissions guy behind him a dirty look.

"Really? And how are you doing that?"

"I'm hijacking the Best Western down the street from the school."

"And where is your class?"

"… Ooh, I forgot all about them…"

Right Back Where We Were Before (these guys are starting to remind me of The Three Stooges)

"What were you doing, Albert?" Birkin asked as Wesker came back up to them.

"I stopped by the office to use the phone." He looked over at HUNK who was now reading a piece of paper and playing with a lighter. "What are you doing?"

"I got bored, so I dug through the garbage and found an old note," he replied, "Then I was still kind of bored so I borrowed the lighter from that guy."

He motioned to a creepy-looking janitor leaning against the wall next to his portable garbage can only a couple yards off, smoking a cigarette. The janitor smiled and waved.

"Weirdo," Wesker said, deciding to ignore him. "Any ideas yet, or are we destined to stand here until that thing comes over?"

Robert the Regenerator was still slowly making his way towards them. Very slowly.

"Apparently this girl is breaking up with her boyfriend because he likes Mountain Dew more than her…" HUNK said.

"Give me that," Wesker said, crumpling up the note.

"Hey, I was going to make my own version of a molotov with that!"

"Now that I want to see," he replied sarcastically, tossing HUNK the ball of paper.

He went over to the janitor and they spoke for a moment, before he came back over with a bottle filled with strange brownish fluid.

"What is that?" Birkin said with a tone of disgust.

"According to him, some kind of highly flammable soap." He uncrumpled the paper ball, cramming the note into the bottle and setting it on fire. "Now if I just knew what to do with it…"

"Throw it, moron!" Wesker shouted.

"Oh, right." He randomly threw it, and ironically, it hit Robert, the now-flaming-Regenerator.

Robert, being like pretty much anyone who catches on fire and forgets what to do, started running around the hall, until he went right through a door and disappeared into a room nearby.

"Evidently he needed motivation to move more quickly," Birkin commented.

Just then, the still flaming Robert came flying out of the room and landed in a fiery heap in the middle of the hallway. Alexia came out of the room, her arms crossed in a seriously irritated fashion. "You again?"

"Oh, fantastic," Wesker responded.

"Why is it I can't teach in peace?" she asked herself caustically.

"Why can't I do anything without disturbing someone's class?" he muttered to himself.

"You already interrupted my class once, but then you had to come back and do it again. At this rate, it will be incredible if the students learn anything at all about how to properly gain control over others."

The three men exchanged odd looks.

"I think there is only one solution to this problem, and that is to kill you. Right now."

"We had better come up with a plan promptly," Birkin said as she started towards them.

"Um, I have one," HUNK said.

"What is it?" Wesker asked.

"You know that rhyme about that Dead Silence ventriloquist? Maybe we could psyche her out or something."

"That is completely idiotic," Wesker answered. "… But it might just work."

Together, they started to recite the rhyme. "Beware the stare of Mary Shaw. She had no children, only dolls. And if you see her, do not scream. Or she'll rip your tongue out at the seam.…"

She stopped, a combination of bewilderment and aggravation coming over her. "How dare you compare me to an old woman??"

"I kind of thought that it would take longer for her to catch that one," HUNK said, just in time for some guy and a camera crew to come up to him.

"Are you HUNK?"

"Uh… yeah."

"Hi, my name is Chris Hanson, and I'm from Dateline NBC's To Catch a Predator. I got a call from someone saying that you are a pedophile. Care to tell us why you're in this school?"

HUNK turned to Wesker, who just shrugged. "I got bored."

"So you told them I'm a pedophile?!"

"We've got a chat log right here from your instant messenger. Want to explain what you were talking about with this 13-year-old?" Chris Hanson asked, handing him a thick packet of papers.

"You went into my IM and pretended to be me?!"

"Hey, I had a lot of time on my hands, okay?" Wesker said indifferently.

"You can leave anytime you want, but there are cops waiting for you. Want a cookie?" Chris Hanson suddenly pulled out a plate of cookies.

"DAMN IT!" HUNK shouted, stomping off being followed by the camera crew and reporter.

"Well, that was entertaining for a while," Wesker said to Birkin, right before getting hit over the head.

In Yet Another Bathroom Somewhere

"I have such a headache," Wesker said, coming to. He looked around, disturbed to realize that, not only was he in another bathroom, but he was in a bath tub full of what appeared to be milk, and he was chained to the wall. "Why does this seem like a bad combination of different horror movies?"

Then it hit him.

"Where are my sunglasses?"

The door suddenly opened and Alfred came in, locking it behind him.

"What the hell is up with this?"

"My dear sister was going to kill you, but then she had a better proposition. Instead of death, you will spend the rest of your days in here, where you will be systematically made into cereal."

"What??" Wesker said, not sure if that was even possible. "… But if I get hurt, I just heal… And it doesn't take long."

"Good, more cereal," he said simply.

"You can't be serious."

"Oh, I am very serious. In fact, we're already working on ideas for marketing it."

"… That is SO creepy, it even scares me…"

Alfred went over to a cabinet above one of those motion-detector sinks and started digging around in it.

"… Where are we, anyway?"

"The bathroom across the hall from the auditorium. No one uses it, so no one will ever find you here." He smiled in a way only he knew how to.

"And why is there a bathtub in a school?"

"Stop asking questions," he said snippily. "It's time to start."

"Start what?"

"What did I just say?!"

Wesker irately fell silent until Alfred came over with a bag of salt in hand, dumping it over him.

"What was that for??"

"I like salty cereal."

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Um… Hope the end didn't, like, gross anybody out too much – sorry if it did. I was experimenting with ideas to use, and the whole 'making humans into cereal' thing came to mind. It was actually based on a conversation I had once with this fellow RE fan I've known since third grade, that started with him telling me I should have my own cereal, and eventually ended with him saying he was going to make the cereal out of me. Needless to say, he was scary. I don't know if I'll really do much with that idea… I guess it depends on the reaction you give me.

With Dario, I can't help but associate that guy with Mario… And he was always my favorite minor character, even though he barely has a role in the game…

Dateline NBC – I never knew it was possible to get addicted to a news program, but I love that show. And Chris Hanson is one of my favorite people ever. His book about To Catch a Predator just came out and I've spent the last week watching his interviews about it, so I kinda have "Dateline-on-the-brain", or something. And those cookies… One thing I learned from that show, is that when you're about to go to jail and you're being interviewed, you apparently are inclined to eat cookies.

I know this chapter was sort of random. I'm going to try to get back to all the people I haven't written about in a while next, since they kinda vanished for so long.

Well, it's that time again. Leave me a review and let me know what you thought, and I'll be back sometime soon.