Title of the Series: Scars Make Us Who We Are
Author: PsychoGlambertLIVE
Author's Note: This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction. Any constructive criticism is appreciated.
Pairing: Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff/Sauli Koskinen, Adam Lambert/Kris Allen, Tommy Joe Ratliff/Isaac Carpenter, Sauli Koskinen/Katri Utala
Rating: MA18+
Summary: Adam is scheduled to go on a radio tour for a week, leaving Sauli and Tommy at home. When something completely unexpected happens on tour, Adam is faced with some very hard decisions. He knows that he has to keep what happened a secret; no one can ever find out. But when Sauli and Tommy discover the truth, other secrets come to light that leave all of them second-guessing their relationship.
Warning: Some of the sexual practices depicted in this work of fiction may inappropriate to some readers. Viewer discretion is advised.
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit, non-commercial work of fiction using the names and likenesses of real individuals. This fictional story is not intended to imply that the events herein actually occurred, or that the attitudes or behaviors described are engaged in or condoned by the real persons whose names are used without permission. The names of some of the additional characters appearing in this work of fiction have been changed to protect the individual's identity. The author intends no offense to anyone. The events appearing in the following text are products entirely of the author's imagination and are not meant to be in any way taken as having actually happened. The author owns none of the characters.
CHAPTER TEN
No More Hesitation
"Heikki!" Sauli exclaims, giggling. Yes, he is drunk. And yes, he is doing things he definitely should not be doing-with his ex-boyfriend.
Heikki pushes Sauli into the pillows, nuzzling his bare abdomen with the tip of his nose. "You like it!" he accuses, laughing.
"FINE!" Sauli screeches. "I LOVE IT! JUST CUT IT OUT BEFORE I THROW UP ALL OVER IN YOUR HAIR!"
That immediately stops Heikki from his impromptu tickle fight. He puts his hands to his hair, feigning horror. "No! Not my hair!"
Giggling, Sauli pulls Heikki down next to him. He knows how much Heikki cares for his long, blonde hair. "You know I would never." Taking a handful of Heikki's silky hair, Sauli divides it into three separate sections and begins braiding it. Back when they were boyfriends, and Sauli still had long hair, they would braid each other's hair when they were laying in bed together. Finishing the first braid, he starts on a second on the other side.
Heikki watches Sauli's face scrunch up in concentration. It's amazing how Sauli can still have control over his fingers after all the alcohol he consumed earlier. Hell, it's amazing Heikki can even remember how many drinks Sauli had had. Heikki kisses Sauli, first on his forehead, then his nose, and finally his mouth. His lips fall open, his tongue exploring Sauli's familiar mouth. Tugging off his boxers, Heikki then helps Sauli slip out of his pajama bottoms, which is the only thing that he is wearing, having long ago lost his shirt somewhere in the darkened room.
Sauli's breath hitches; the feel of Heikki's naked body against his own does not help the erection he's got going between his legs. He grinds his cock against Heikki's hip. "You feel so good," he whispers hotly in his ex's ear, moaning when Heikki reaches down and gives his dick a squeeze. Pulling the covers out from under him, Sauli burrows deep into sheets, Heikki following suit. They resume kissing, touching each other desperately. Before Sauli realizes what is happening, Heikki is on top of him, his cock poised at the edge of Sauli's tight hole. "Wait," Sauli gasps, wriggling out from under the other man. Rifling in the nightstand drawer, he pulls out what he is looking for. Adam keeps bottles of lube scattered around the house so that the three of them can have sex in any room they please without worrying about having to run and get something in the middle of fucking. Sauli hands the tube to Heikki, reclaiming his position beneath his ex.
Heikki quickly rolls a condom on before lubing up himself and Sauli. Crawling between Sauli's spread legs, Heikki trails a finger down the shaft of Sauli's dick, then around his balls. His rims the edge of Sauli's hole before shoving the whole length of his finger inside him. He works Sauli open, soon adding a second finger, and then a third.
Sauli groans, pushing against Heikki's fingers. Blindly, he reaches down to grab Heikki's cock, squeezing and rubbing it until he can't take it anymore. Sauli lifts his legs onto Heikki's shoulders, exposing his stretched hole. A single thought runs through Sauli's mind then. No more hesitation.
Heikki pulls his fingers out, replacing them with the head of his cock. He enters Sauli easily, burying his dick up to the base. Grasping Sauli's hips, he pulls out, pushing back in quickly. Each time Heikki pushes in, the head of his cock hits Sauli's prostate. Sauli's body is so familiar, Heikki knows exactly how to make him feel good.
Sauli writhes on the bed, fighting the urge to come. He has forgotten how well Heikki knows his body.
Heikki wraps his hand around Sauli's cock, rubbing his thumb over the slit. At the same time, he starts sliding his hand up and down the shaft.
With both his ass and his dick being handled, Sauli cannot hold it back any longer. Twisting the sheets between his fingers, he comes, shooting warm come all over him and Heikki. He grinds down on Heikki's cock, riding out the orgasm. Just as the intense vibrations fade away, Heikki cries out.
Heikki's dick tenses up, releasing the hot white come. He gently pulls out of Sauli's ass, his cock still throbbing from the orgasm. Peeling the condom off, he tosses it in the wastebasket. Laying down beside Sauli, he takes him in his arms.
Sauli cuddles into Heikki's warm embrace, loving the familiarity of his ex's arms. He touches his lips to Heikki's, kissing him deeply. "I'll be right back." Getting up, he pulls on his pajama bottoms.
"Where are you going?" Heikki questions, touching Sauli's hip.
"I need to get something to drink," he explains before walking out the door and shutting it firmly behind him. Letting out a deep breath, he leans against the wall heavily. What have I done? I cheated on Adam and Tommy with my ex-boyfriend. And I liked it. He might have drank too much alcohol tonight, but he's not that drunk that he's going to forget what he just did. And he's definitely not going to forget what he saw on Tommy's phone. Tommy is cheating, too, he thinks angrily. He's cheating right now. Sighing, he walks downstairs to the kitchen. Seeing a dark figure standing by the window, he stops. "Who's there?" he whispers.
The person turns around. "It is me." Katri's voice.
"What are you doing up?" Sauli asks, taking a glass from the cupboard and filling it with water. He goes over to where Katri is standing.
"I could not sleep." Katri looks over at Sauli, her eyes scanning his face. "What were you doing with Heikki?"
Sauli nearly chokes on the water. He coughs, clearing his throat. "Nothing." He looks away, hoping Katri won't notice his flushed face.
Narrowing her eyes, Katri sighs. "Fine. Do not tell me then."
Feeling guilty, Sauli puts a hand on her shoulder. "Please, Katri. Do not be mad at me. If I tell you, you must promise to tell no one."
Katri nods silently.
Sauli sighs, taking her hand in his. Not knowing how to put this delicately, he decides to just tell her straight out. "Heikki and I had sex."
Katri's mouth drops open in shock. She grabs Sauli's shoulders, her grey eyes staring into Sauli's blue ones. "What?"
Sauli hangs his head. "Don't be mad," he says in a very small voice.
"Oh, honey," Katri hugs him. "I am not mad. I am just...shocked." She touches the bottom of chin, tipping his head up so she can look him in the eye. "Why?"
Sauli's eyes tear up and his chin begins to quiver. Gulping, he chokes out, "Can we go upstairs? It's a long story."
"Of course we can." Katri leads Sauli upstairs to her room. She sits on the bed, pulling him down with her. "Okay. Tell me what happened."
Laying back on the bed, Sauli rubs his hands over his face. He could really use a drink; the effects of the alcohol he consumed earlier are starting to wear off. Sighing, he finally says, "When we were at the bar tonight, Tommy got up to go to the bathroom and his phone fell out of his pocket. I picked it up so I could give it back to him after he got back from the bathroom." Sauli pauses, wondering if he should tell Katri all of this. If Adam ever found out, he'd be pissed. No, he'd be more than pissed-he'd be madder than hell.
Katri puts a hand on his knee. "And what happened then?" she coaxes.
Whatever-she is my best friend. Sauli continues, "The phone vibrated when I still had it in my lap. It was a text. And I know that I was snooping, but I was curious. So I opened it. And-" his voice breaks here. Shaking his head, he wills himself to go on. "The text was from Isaac-Adam's drummer."
Katri nods. "What did it say?" she asks quietly.
"I don't remember exactly, but it was something like 'I want your cock in my mouth.' And it said to meet him at his house at midnight." Sauli sniffles. "And that, I am sure, is where he is right now."
"He is having an affair with Adam's drummer?" Katri is shocked. "I assume Adam knows nothing about this?"
Swallowing thickly, Sauli replies, "I think he might have an idea that something is going on. I don't know if he thinks they are having sex, or what he thinks. I do know that whenever Isaac's around, Adam is always tense and pissy-looking."
Katri runs a hand through her short blonde hair. "Okay, so Tommy is having an affair, but... How does this tie into you having sex with Heikki?"
"I figured if Tommy can go and have sex with whomever he pleases, then I can go with Heikki. Besides," he adds, "I know Adam isn't completely faithful either."
Katri is not entirely shocked by Sauli's last statement; she always thought Adam was a playboy. "Do you have proof?"
"No," Sauli admits, "Just thoughts. Tommy is the one who suggested it-that he is having sex with other guys when he's on tour. Such as this one that he's on right now."
Katri lays down beside Sauli. "Do you think Tommy has direct proof?"
"I don't know." Sauli looks at Katri. "You would think he would tell me if he did. But maybe he's keeping it from me to protect me. I don't know." He turns on his side, wrapping his arms around Katri. "I'm just so upset," he murmurs into her shoulder. "I cheated. I know Tommy's cheating. And God only knows what Adam is doing." Tears begin to fall silently down Sauli's cheeks. "What do I do, Katri?"
"Well, you need to stay away from Heikki for one thing." Katri runs a hand through Sauli's curls. "And maybe you should talk to Tommy about this tomorrow. I do not know if I would go telling Adam just yet."
Sauli studies Katri's face. Without thinking, he brings his lips to hers, kissing her softly. Katri, surprised at first, moves her lips against his after a slight pause. Reaching up, Sauli gently frames her face with his hands, pulling their heads closer together. Her lips on his sends a spark through Sauli that he never before felt for a woman. Pressing their bodies together, Sauli deepens the kiss. He can feel himself harden in response to her hand on his bare back. He nudges a leg between hers, lifting up her leg and hooking it over his hip. Katri pulls him closer, running her fingers along the waistband of his pajama pants. Rolling on top of her, Sauli slips his hands under her t-shirt, cupping her breasts.
"Sauli!" Katri gasps. She slips her hands into his pants, tugging them off.
"You feel so good," Sauli murmurs into her neck. He squeezes her breasts, shivering in pleasure at the feel of Katri's hands on his ass. He lifts her shirt up, and she helps him slip it over her head. He pulls off her cotton shorts, then kicks off his pants, which are twisted around his ankles. Fingering her lacy underwear, he remembers the first time Tommy wore a lacy thong for him and Adam. (Well, it was mostly for Adam's benefit back then, considering both his and Tommy's lives revolved solely around Adam. Their lives still revolve around Adam, but at least now him and Tommy have each other. Or they used to, until all this hit the fan.)
Sauli runs a finger across the lace. "Why are they called boyshorts?" he wonders out loud.
Katri laughs. "I have no idea, Sauli."
"Hmm." Sauli tugs the boyshorts off, touching her lightly on her bikini area. She spreads her legs, inviting him in. Sauli has never had sex with a woman; hell, he's never had any physical attraction towards a woman. But with Katri, it's completely different. He is physically attracted to her. And touching her excites him. He positions himself between her spread legs, his cock poised at her opening. "Are you sure?" he whispers in her ear.
Katri wraps her arms around Sauli's neck, pulling him close. "Yes," she whispers back. "I am very sure." She lifts her body up, urging Sauli on.
I can't believe I am fucking my best friend. And on top of it, I'm cheating twice in one night. Those are the last thoughts that run through Sauli's head as he enters her in one smooth motion, like he's done this a million times before.
Tommy twists his fingers in dark hair. Groaning, he pushes down on Isaac's dick, which is up his ass at the moment. He is straddling the drummer, his cock rubbing against Isaac's abdomen. "It's a good thing your wife decided to go see her parents this week; I don't know where we would've done this otherwise." He bounces up and down, knowing it drives the other man crazy. And it makes him feel so fucking good inside.
Isaac's reply is cut off by a cry of pleasure as he comes, spurting warmly in Tommy's ass. He jacks Tommy's dick; he can tell he is very close to coming. Rubbing his thumb over the slit does the trick.
"Isaac!" Tommy moans as he explodes onto Isaac's chest. He pushes in time with the vibrations, spilling his white come all over. Exhausted, he lets himself fall forward, Isaac's dick slipping out of his ass as he does. He cuddles into Isaac's chest, his come squishing wetly between their bodies. Isaac's arms wrap around him, holding him closer. Tommy buries his face in Isaac's neck, breathing in his cologne.
Running his finger along his chest, Isaac brings the digit to his mouth, licking Tommy's come off of it. "Yum."
Tommy laughs. "You're so dirty," he teases, only joking. In Tommy's opinion, tasting his come is saintly compared to some of things that they did tonight.
"Tell me something I don't know," Isaac jokes back.
Tommy slaps him playfully on the shoulder. "I'm gonna go get cleaned up." He grabs his clothes off the floor on his way to the bathroom. Grabbing a washcloth, he cleans himself up the best he can. Sitting on the toilet with the lid down, he takes his iPhone out of his jeans pocket. Ten missed calls and nineteen new text messages. All from Adam. Tommy swallows guiltily, already thinking of some excuse for not answering his phone. He decides to deal with that later; he has more pressing issues to contend with at the moment. Such as the text from Isaac that Sauli read. Chewing on his lip, he pulls his underwear on, wondering how he's going to bring this up to Isaac. He finishes getting dressed, finger-combing his hair so it looks at least somewhat presentable.
"C'mere, beb," Isaac calls as Tommy steps out of the bedroom's adjoining bathroom.
Tommy sits on the edge of the bed. "I have something to tell you, Isaac," he says quietly, looking down.
Concerned, Isaac sits up. "Let me go get dressed. Hold on a minute." He pecks a kiss on Tommy's forehead before padding to the bathroom.
Five minutes later, he is sitting beside Tommy. "Okay. What did you have to tell me?"
Tommy takes a breath, steeling himself. "Sauli knows." At Isaac's confused look, Tommy explains, "He saw your text on my phone tonight."
Isaac's eyes widen in shock. His mouth opens, but he is speechless. "What?" he finally chokes out.
Tommy nods miserably. "What am I going to do?!" he wails. "Sauli can't keep a fucking secret for the life of him! Adam's going to find out!" He is now hysterical. "You and I will both be done! Adam'll kick us both out of the band! AND I'LL BE DUMPED!" At this last part, Tommy throws himself into Isaac's arms, frightened at what Adam will do to him if and when he ever finds out.
Isaac strokes Tommy's fringe. "It'll be okay. We'll figure something out." He tries to reassure Tommy, even though he is kind of scared himself. If Adam does find out, he will definitely put the blame on him rather than Tommy. "It'll be okay," he repeats.
Tommy cuddles into Issac. He doesn't know what's going to happen now that Sauli knows about him and Isaac. But one thing is for sure, when-not if-Adam finds out, he will be in for a shit-load of trouble.