"If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it in the morning. And if it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first."—Mark Twain
x.x.x.x.x.x
"Listen up, people! I have a new idea that'll give those McLosers and that poetaster Gwen a run for their pitifully earned money!" Courtney called from Sadie's living room. She absentmindedly pulled a plastic leaf off a nearby decorous tree.
"What's a poetaster?" Courtney heard Sadie ask from the other room.
"In my country, it is a type of potato salad," Alejandro informed her.
"Idiots!" Courtney heard Harold exclaim. "A poetaster is one who writes inferior poetry!"
Harold, Sadie, Alejandro, Heather, and Duncan filed into the room, each finding a spot among the fluffy linen furniture. Courtney stood in the middle of the room, under the ceiling fan that worked against the stifling July heat.
"We are going to hold a people auction!"
"A what?" Duncan asked, rubbing sleep from his eyes. Duncan had looked like hell when he shuffled into Sadie's house that morning, and he hadn't improved since. His ripped jeans hung low on his hips, exposing his wrinkled plaid boxers, and a grey hoodie covered his limp, green hair. He came in sipping a Red Bull, not offering a single snide comment to anything Courtney had said thus far.
"A people auction, Duncan, is where you auction off useful people, AKA us, off to other people who need a service you can provide. For example, I can play the violin, I speak Spanish, and I'm strong- so I can do chores or yard work." Courtney said all this with a proud smile on her face, her slim arms akimbo.
Harold spoke up, grinning, "Well Courtney, I have several mad skillz, so obviously-"
"Harold, you will not be auctioned off," Courtney said, lifting her chin.
"Why not?" Harold protested unhappily.
"The only people being auctioned off will be myself, Duncan, Heather, and Alejandro," she explained. She glared at Duncan and said, "I didn't even want to include you, Duncan, but I know you'll sell because some girls are infatuated with your 'bad boy' look, or whatever."
"Like you were?" he asked dryly, taking a sip of his energy drink.
"Speaking of your look," Courtney said, squinting her eyes at him and expertly ignoring his comment. "You look awful. What happened to you?"
Duncan glared back at her. "Nothing, Princess. Get back to your lecture."
Courtney frowned, but continued, as Alejandro and Heather were staring at her expectantly. "I selected us four because I think we'll bring in the most money."
"Shouldn't we find more 'money-making' people willing to auction themselves off?" Heather asked, confused. "Four people isn't a lot."
"A good question, Heather! I've already asked around, and Justin, from the Drama Brothers, Lindsay, that girl who gets stuck in the revolving doors at the mall, and Dakota Miltion, that rich heiress, will also be participating," Courtney replied.
"Sounds like you're only collecting good looking people," Duncan mentioned.
Courtney rubbed the back of her neck. "Well, um, I suppose you could look at it that way. I mean, who would you rather spend your money on? Lindsay, who has to special-order bras because there is no 30-triple-D at Victoria's Secret?" She pointed at Harold, who had his finger up his nose, "...or that?".
"Hey! I'm very popular with the ladies!" Harold cried. He winked at Sadie, and she giggled in response.
"No matter," Courtney continued, "We still need a thousand dollars to reach our goal, and we're only two-hundred dollars ahead of the McLosers! So we need to step it up, people. Sadie, go rent a stage. And Harold, find us a sound system."
"Today?" Harold asked.
"Yes!" Courtney yelled.
"I can't! The Drama Brothers have a show today," he explained. He glanced over at Duncan, who was staring blankly at his lap. "Duncan, we should go meet the others soon."
The punk looked up and without his usual fire said, "Fine, nerdling."
"Then it's happening tomorrow! I'll make flyers!" Courtney shouted after them.
As they made their way out the sliding door, Harold wrinkled his nose and stepped away. "Dude, take a shower!" he said, repulsed. Duncan only shrugged and walked out the door. Harold followed, but looked back at the group, his eyes wide with disbelief and concern.
"What's wrong with Duncan?" Sadie asked, wringing her hands together. "Normally, he would've killed Harold for a comment like that!"
"Sadie," Heather said in her most pleasant manipulative voice, "Will you please go get us some of those donuts you served earlier?"
"Okay, but I'll have to go across the street, and my mom has the car so I'll have to walk, and it's really hot out-"
"Perfect!" Heather chimed, scooting the larger BFF out the door. "See yah in a few!"
Once Sadie was safely outside, Heather looked to Alejandro and whispered, "Okay, Courtney's alone. Do your stuff!"
Courtney was still in the living room, now staring intently at her PDA. Alejandro sidled up to her. "Hola, chica," he greeted, slicking back his dark bangs.
Courtney didn't look up from her typing.
Alejandro coughed uncomfortably and continued, "Uh, well Courtney, I wanted to tell you that I'm glad to see you have no hard feelings about our breakup."
Courtney scoffed, her attention suddenly off her device. "We went on one date, Alejandro. One of which I left in the middle! That doesn't mean we were dating."
He shrugged. "No matter! Is this rock hard exterior of yours because you've dealt with breakups before?"
"What do you mean?" she asked, squinting her eyes at him.
"I am only inquiring if your breakup with Duncan has left you emotionally walled up!" Alejandro claimed innocently, his hands held defensively in the air.
Courtney glared at him. "Um... No! My breakup with Duncan has only made me stronger," she insisted.
Alejandro smiled. "Of course, Courtney! Ditching Duncan merely made the smart, beautiful girl that stands before me that much stronger! ...Is that why you ended your seemingly happy relationship?"
Courtney raised her finger in the air to speak, but caught herself when she realized the thin water she was treading in this off-limit subject. She crossed her arms. "Why don't you take all these questions and put them to use by asking people to come to our auction tomorrow, okay Alejandro?"
She then quickly exited through the front door, leaving Alejandro alone. Heather peeped around the doorway.
"Did she say why they broke up?" Heather asked excitedly. Alejandro's dejected slump was enough of an answer. She frowned and crossed the room to rub her boyfriend's shoulder. "We'll try again later. She'll have to answer us eventually!"
x.x.x.x.x.x
Duncan was depressed.
Not like, depressed depressed, but the painful grinding feeling he'd noticed in his gut hadn't gone away since his encounter with Gwen earlier that morning, and all he wanted was to curl into some small, dark corner and never emerge. Also he wanted to kick Harold. The pity in his bespectacled eyes made Duncan want to snap his twiggy figure in two.
"Duncan, are you okay?" Harold asked concernedly. After they'd left Courtney's meeting, they had started the short walk to Cody's house. Cody had complained that he was doing too much of the loading and unloading of the instruments, so the guys all agreed to pitch in more before shows. To Duncan, this meant seeing even more of Trent, which he was not too excited about.
He turned on the lanky nerd. "Is it stupid question day today, dork?" Duncan growled, his bright eyes boring out from under the shadow of his hood.
Harold shrugged and said, "You just seem more… dirty... and uh, sad… Also today is actually National Goat Appreciation Day, not Stupid Question Day! Gosh!"
"You're a moron."
"... Stupid question day is September 28th."
Duncan remained silent, so Harold prodded him again. "You know, for the last like month, uh, you kind of seemed happy. And now you're like, emo."
"I was never happy!" Duncan insisted. "I was just... less angry." He smiled and roughly tousled Harold's red hair. "But now I'm back!"
"You seem more mopey than angry," Harold observed. He quickly fixed his hair and pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his freckled nose.
Duncan glanced at his companion, and then awkwardly glared down at the crumbling pavement in front of his feet. The summer morning was cool and cheerful, with birds squawking and bugs chirping, but Duncan was immune to the beauty. Sourly, he tossed his empty energy drink in the direction of a louder bird.
"Duncan?"
"Stuff it, Harold."
They continued the trek in silence, but Duncan's mind was swimming in loud, endless thoughts.
x.x.x.x.x.x
"Are you sure it's okay with Dun- ...with your band if you skip helping them move your guy's stuff?" Gwen asked, slipping under her seatbelt to get more comfortable.
"Of course!" Trent said, waving off her concerns.
"Where are we going?" Gwen asked, not entirely interested in his answer.
Trent grinned coyly. "It's a secret! You look incredible, by the way."
Gwen pursed her lips in annoyance. She was wearing an average ensemble by any means, and her eyes were puffy from lack of sleep. She had, in a shameful and stress-filled moment, bitten off the ends of all but three of her nails, and her hair was a humidity-induced frizz nightmare. Gwen did not look incredible in the slightest and she just wanted this date to be over.
"Did you like the flowers?" he asked hopefully. Gwen looked down at the bunch of orange carnations he had bought her and suppressed a guilty shudder of disgust. Sure, it was nice that he bought her more flowers and all, but he obviously didn't know her too well if he thought she'd coo and fuss over a bundle of dead plants.
"Is there any way we could get to this 'secret' any faster?" Gwen said warily. Trent had been going the exact speed limit the whole time they were driving and it was starting to bug her. To be honest, she always drove at least five miles over.
His eyes widened. "Are you kidding? My dad would kill me like, nine times if I got a speeding ticket!"
Gwen huffed and went back to staring out the window. She wondered what Duncan was doing and if he was as miserable as she was.
x.x.x.x.x.x
"WHERE IS THAT SHITBAG?!" Duncan demanded. Cody and Justin shook their heads.
"He never showed up, and he keeps blocking our calls," Justin said frantically.
Cody sighed loudly in frustration. "I say I need more help and he doesn't even show up?! I'm gonna kill him!"
"I'm gonna kill him, bury him, dig up his zombie, and kill that too!" Duncan raged.
"Umm, technically you can't kill what's already dead," Harold pointed out.
"That means I can't kill you, seeing as how you're DEAD, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Duncan screamed, chasing Harold around the unpacked van.
x.x.x.x.x.x
"Surprise!" Trent singsonged, removing his hands from her eyes. Gwen took one look around; her eyes slanted suspiciously as she took in her surroundings. They stood a few feet in front of Trent's car, as at Trent simply couldn't have the surprise be ruined by Gwen opening her eyes in the car, god forbid, and Gwen could see they were close to the beach. Loud chatter filled the air around her, and the obvious scent of cheap beer enveloped her. Gwen looked down to see that she was standing in a puddle of the foul liquid. Sick. But what truly bothered Gwen was the nucleus of all this activity.
"Why is there a stage?" She asked, her voice cracking with a squeak. Perturbed by her initial horror that this could be one of his concerts, she decided to play dumb. "Are we at a play...?"
Trent kept smiling. "Nope! We," he said, directing her vision towards the parking lot, "are at a Drama Brothers concert!"
Gwen's eyes widened at the sight of The Drama Brother's van: Cody's mom's mini van with the name 'Drama Brothers' spray-painted on the side, courtesy of Duncan probably. A crowd of teenagers was mingling around, waiting for the concert to start.
"What?" she hissed through clenched teeth.
Trent started to look worried. "No, it'll be great! You'll hang backstage, and afterwards we'll go to dinner. You can watch us sign autographs and-"
"T-Trent," she stammered lividly. Before any real damage to Trent could be done, however, Gwen heard something that diverted her attention.
"Yo dudette!"
"Hey Gwen!"
Geoff and Bridgette were making their way towards them.
"Oh god," Gwen muttered.
"What are you guys up to?" Bridgette smiled. Geoff tipped his hat in their company's direction.
"We're on a date," Trent stated proudly, taking hold of Gwen's hand.
Cringing, she pulled her hand from his grasp. "I need something to drink."
"I'll meet you backstage, honey!" Trent said gleefully.
As Gwen walked, she heard Bridgette shout to her, "Call me if you need an exit strategy!" Gwen suddenly felt better because she knew she could count on Bridgette and she wasn't sure that she wouldn't need an exit.
She walked up to the beer table and ordered a coke. After a few minutes of stirring the ice in her drink, Gwen abandoned her soda and went to stand by the stage, utterly bored. At least she hadn't run into a certain criminal yet.
"Gwen?"
Of course.
She went rigid; Gwen would recognize that voice anywhere. It was sweet and deep and the simple sound of her name on his lips made her shiver.
She turned around. "Duncan?"
He was disheveled and unshaven, and the bare skin on his chest and arms glistened from the day's heat. A bead of water from the bottle he was holding to his forehead dribbled down the side of his face and pooled in the hollow of his collarbone. Gwen was overcome with the desire to lick it away. She shamed herself for these thoughts, but continued to admire him. "It's been awhile," he joked, a shy smile playing on his mouth.
Gwen remembered their awkward morning collision at the gas station. Instead of crumbling into tears at the memory, an unexpected burst of giggles came from the blue-haired beauty. She shook her head and said, "I felt bad that the guy who was working there had to clean up that mess."
Duncan waved her off and replied, "He definitely let the day-shift guy clean it up, I wouldn't worry about that. Did you ever get your caffeine fix?"
Gwen chuckled as she admitted, "Well I just went home and made a pot of coffee." He gave her a strange look and she defended herself. "What? I'm lazy!"
"I wouldn't say getting out of bed at 5 a.m. and walking 10 blocks is lazy."
"Trust me, I'd do anything not to make my own coffee. Our coffee maker is ancient and shocks me every time I plug it in!"
"Guess I know what I get you for Christmas," he joked.
"Totally," she agreed, rolling her eyes at the memory of her terrible appliance and the idea of Duncan buying her a gift.
She could tell he was nervous when he asked, "So, um, what do I owe the pleasure of your sunshine-y presence today?"
Silently, Gwen groaned. Reality came flushing back like an angry deluge of boiling water. Saving McLean Park. Evil Courtney. Duncan. Kissing Duncan. Being betrayed by Duncan. Currently on a date with Trent.
Shit.
With a regretful smile, Gwen pointed weakly at Trent, who was being lectured by a very stern looking Cody.
Duncan's eyes lit up with amusement. "So, this is the big date Elvis over there won't shut up about?"
Gwen rolled her eyes and said, "I would hardly call it a date."
Duncan stretched his arms behind him casually. Gwen tried her hardest not to gawk over the wiry muscles beneath his black wife-beater. "I dunno, Sunshine. Ol' Trent seems pretty smitten."
"Smitten?!" Gwen screeched, "Who are you and what have you done to the delinquent I knew and lov-" She inhaled sharply, clamping a hand over her blue lips. They stared at each other in shock for what felt like an eternity.
"You were gonna say loved," Duncan mentioned after a moment. He tried to sound somewhat teasing, but it came across just as sadly as it was felt.
Gwen bit down on her thumb, conflicted and overwhelmed and suddenly very exhausted.
"DUNCAN DUDE, SHOW STARTS IN TWO! GET YOUR ASS UP HERE!"
"Gwen?" he asked gently. She just shook her head and looked away, her eyes suddenly brimming with tears. He considered reaching out to comfort her, but he could only find the courage to give her a fleeting look before turning to go onstage.
x.x.x.x.x.x
"I would like to dedicate this next song, to Gwen," Trent said dreamily. The crowd roared, but Gwen just shrank down in her stool. Trent had dragged it out to the middle of the stage and forced her to sit there and be sung to. This guy really did not know her at all. Duncan had looked slightly smug about the whole display.
The guitar solo song was agonizingly slow, with sickly sweet versus and a lovey-dovey title: I'm In Love With You Gwen. She assumed that Trent wrote it himself.
She was relieved when the nine-minute long song finally ended, but was suddenly open to a new form of humiliating torture.
"Gwen?" Trent smiled, his mossy green eyes flickering across her face, "Will you be my girlfriend?"
And in that moment, the only increment of time Gwen could sense was her own eyes, slowly going between Trent and Duncan's faces. Trent was so happy. Duncan was so... neutral. But Gwen knew that behind that mask, Duncan was in as much pain as she was. She knew the pulsing, crushing feeling that churns through one's veins as the heart is breaking into small, shattered pieces. She could see it in his eyes. She was in love with those eyes. She was in love with Duncan. Her reply came so easily; it was like breathing.
And there, in front of a hundred booing people and a devastated looking Trent, Gwen turned to Duncan and found him smiling. Maybe he was in love with her too.
x.x.x.x.x.x
"I need to talk to you, skinny!" Duncan shouted, pounding on the pink, sticker-covered door.
"Go away!" wailed a voice on the other side of the barrier.
"Let me in!" Duncan insisted, rattling the knob. He waited for a response, but received silence. As he raised his fist to knock again, he heard the soft click of the lock from the other side. He paused, and then pushed the door in to find the thin BFF retreating to a nest of blankets and pillows she'd collected on her floor. Makeup streaked down her face and pudding stains adorned her loose t-shirt. Duncan ascribed her appearance to her recent breakup, and decided not to say anything. She pulled a blanket edge up to her nose.
"What do you want?" Katie asked, muffled through the cloth.
"I need the password to Courtney's park bank account," he said.
She raised an eyebrow quizzically and lowered her blanket wall. "Um, why?"
Duncan remained quiet, and a tiny smile crept up on Katie's messy face. "Does it have to do with Gwen?" she asked. She unwrapped a large gum ball and popped it in her mouth.
Duncan's lips twitched and his cheeks turned a light shade of pink, but he continued to say nothing.
"I knew it," Katie said happily, chewing on the pink candy. She thought a moment and her frown appeared again, pulling the blanket back over her face. "Well, I can't give it to you or Courtney would kill me. Plus you owe me, not the other way around."
"Katie, you owe me for convincing Courtney to take you guys camping so you could have your little private time with your marshmallow fuck buddy."
Katie's eyes widened in surprise, and Duncan scoffed. "That's right, I knew you were playing me all along, so don't scam me again!" Duncan threatened, pointing at the shaking girl under the blanket. He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Look, I know you're hung up on DJ, but please help me. Give me the password."
Katie sniffed a moment, and then nodded up at his desperate face, blowing a bright pink bubble in the process. "Alright. I'll do it. I'll do it for love!"
"Whoa," Duncan blushed, running his hand over his limp hair, "let's not get carried away." Katie just smiled conspiratorially and scribbled down the numbers on her gum wrapper.
x.x.x.x.x.x
Duncan dashed into his house and tossed his keys on the counter, onto a pile of mail. The house seemed empty, so he took a moment to pour himself a bowl of cereal and breathe. He flopped heavily into the couch; some milk from the bowl lapped over the edge onto the carpet. The day had seemed never-ending, but his depression over Gwen was now replaced with an extreme fervor to win her back. He wanted to look at the gum wrapper again, to memorize the numbers, because they were the solution to everything. He felt so light.
Duncan fumbled in his pocket, but only came out with some change and his lighter. He checked the other pocket with no prevail. Slightly panicking, he checked the couch cushions. And the carpet. And his cereal bowl- just in case that in his sleep-deprived state he put it in with the CT crunch.
Nothing.
Duncan realized the wrapper must have gotten caught in his keys. He dashed back to the kitchen only to find his dad leaning against a wall. The pile of mail, and his keys, were gone.
"What'd you do with the mail?" Duncan asked anxiously.
His dad's eyes rolled and he said sarcastically, "Glad to see you're finally taking interest in your future!"
"Wha..?"
"Those were college letters," his father explained, "though I doubt you could ever get into a good school with a record and shitty grades like yours."
Duncan crossed his arms, and with equal sarcasm responded, "My kind, fair, wonderful pops, please tell me where you put the mail."
His dad shrugged. "I put 'em on your desk, not that you'd actually be able to see anything up there with that thick cloud of smoke you constantly have up there."
"Yeah, yeah, I get it. I'm a terrible son," Duncan yelled.
"Whatever. This isn't worth my time," his father muttered, walking out the sliding glass door and closing it with a bang.
But at the moment, Duncan didn't care. His mind was set on Gwen.
x.x.x.x.x.x
A huge thanks to my reviewers this time around, xGoldenSpiritx, thegothchick67, xandra19, Ilovedreaming, The RandomGal42, DEDEBUG9, Anon 1, MusicIsLife4Real, play for keeps, ConcealingMist, malzi21, anon 2, RandomGal44, ARadomperson, Kitty, DomNeedsBooks, EmmaMine, Anon 3, TealTiger1215, Anna, LoveDoes, Anon 4, and anyone else who favorited, followed, or read!
Sorry guys, I'm a total butt for not updating in a while. I was kind of crazy in that last update. Thank you all for your amazing support c:
I love you all.