"No more lies."

Looking at the tall, familiar figure, reading all the pain and longing and regret in the barely shielded eyes, Nick was surprised how steady his voice was. His own eyes bore into the green ones of his mate, holding his gaze without wavering, forcing the regnant to acknowledge him as his equal once more.

It wasn't easy to look into the pale features, the natural olive skin almost gray at the edges. The eyes were duller than Nick had ever seen them, the shields between them rubbed raw and painful. Renard had only put up the front at work, but now, with just them, the strength had waned and was about to dwindle into nothingness.

The bond seemed to echo the same dullness and Nick refrained from biting his lip and feeling guilt.

This hadn't just been him; it had been both of them and Sean felt the full brunt of his mate's rejection.

Though Nick had never rejected him. He had needed distance to think, to understand, to integrate yet another freaky, weird and outrageous part of his life into that life..

"No more lies," he repeated firmly, voice level, composed and cool.

Renard wasn't the only one who could pull it off. Too much had happened. Nick was at the end of his rope, emotionally as well as mentally. The bond between them was of a psychic nature, so by not allowing it to be open he had hurt them both. He just hadn't felt it so acutely or immediately. He wanted to touch Sean, wanted to reassure himself that the other was okay, but right now he wasn't inclined to give in yet.

"I know you didn't kill her in cold blood," he stated. "I know it was her idea. As painful as that is alone, I have to accept it."

Like he had to accept that his aunt, who he had thought was a librarian, had turned out to be a creature hunter with a very bad name, one whispered in fear and terror by the wesen everywhere.

"But you lied to me every step of the way! Even after you claimed I was your balance and you needed me! You left me in the dark about what you being a Guardian means. You wove your own web and expected me to maneuver through it without any information. You manipulated me, Sean!"

"No," was the soft reply. "I never manipulated you, Nick. I chose to set you onto a task that you were able to complete."

Nick felt a new surge of anger. "That's just a good way to describe manipulation! You never told me! You just steered everything the way you needed it to be! Including me! You tried the coins on me, damnit!"

Renard winced. It was a cheap shot, Nick knew. The regnant had fallen under the influence of the coins and he had given in to his baser instincts, to his need to protect and to claim what he saw as rightfully his.

"I was under the influence."

"Otherwise you would have just watched from afar, pulling strings, playing me?"

Renard shook his head. "I did what I had to do to protect this city."

"So taking me as a mate was just another duty?"

The green eyes flared golden and the shock was clear to see, even of the surge of denial bounced off the still erect shield. Nick knew he was using very cheap shots, that he was aiming for low blows, but the past few days had been low blows for him as well. And more.

"No," the regant managed, voice shaky. "No. Never. No one can take a mate by force. You have to accept me. And you did."

Nick regarded him, narrowed eyes taking in the pale face, the sharper lines, the still present golden hue. Frank had told him what he knew about regnants. He had told him what could be expected of such fiercely territorial wesen and their disregard for family bonds.

"Many can't relate, Nick," he had told the attentive Grimm. "Jagerbar have family clans. Blutbaden, too. Reinigen, maushertz, fuchsbau, all clans or packs. But regnants are extremely set on defending their protectorate and family is a possible usurper to that throne."

"And that makes me?" the Grimm had asked quietly.

"A mate. Part of that protectorate. Your partner doesn't see you as competition, if that's what you think. And Grimms were always the perfect counterparts."

"As enforcers."

"In a way, yes." The lawyer had watched him cautiously. "But not just as that. You share everything with your mate. As corny as it sounds, Nick, you complete him. He couldn't any more force this on you than you could think of controlling a creature like him without the connection you share."

"No more lies," he insisted. "I want to know what's going on around me, Sean. I want the truth! From you. Not from someone I have to call and bring me up to speed on politics. I don't want second or third hand information. I don't want to run into a situation blindly when you know what's going on!"

There was a very visible fight going on inside his mate.

"You let me run with cases involving creatures. You sent me in to keep matters level, to handle it my way! Was it a test? You wanted to see if I survived or whether I would follow my aunt's footsteps?"

"The inheritance of the full Grimm abilities doesn't come with a darker nature, Nick," was the tired reply. "You shape your own actions. How you act is no different than before. You are compassionate and fair and far from trigger-happy."

He also hadn't lost someone so violently like his aunt. He didn't have to give up a partner who loved him despite being a Grimm. Maybe if he lost Renard to something like this, if he was alone in the world and fighting a battle against the reapers and everything else out there, he might just forget about upholding the law and go dark.

Nick shivered.

"Yes, in a way I tested you. I needed to know how you would act and react to protect you from the reapers," Renard went on. "They wanted your death. I claimed my right as Guardian. You were in my protectorate and it was my decision whether to declare you game or not."

"So you lied to me."

"I had to."

"No more."

Renard briefly closed his eyes. "Nick…"

"No. More!"

The regnant nodded slowly, defeat only slowly leaking through. Still there was denial left in him and Nick knew this wasn't going to be their last argument about this whole set-up.

"I'm not going to hate you because of this," he added.

Renard's lips twisted into a humorless smile. Resigned, accepting, tired… exhausted.

Nick took the initiative, aware that he was in control, and approached the other man. Wary eyes watched him.

"Not knowing about a lot of stuff could get me killed."

"Knowing about some of this would get you killed, Nick."

He shrugged. "But I'm not defenseless. You know I'm not. I took out two reapers."

And he stated it matter-of-factly, calmly, as if it had been anything but intense and dark.

"I'm in this with you. I work in your protectorate, with you, not against you. You have the loyalty of a Grimm, one you are also mated to. You know as well as I do that that alone makes me a target for some. I need to know who to look out for, where to tread lightly. Some of the things in the past were pure luck, Sean."

"I know," was the soft answer.

"Then give me a fighting chance!"

Very cheap shot. Nick saw it in the turmoiled expression. Finally Renard nodded again.

"I know you killed the two assassins," Sean said, quiet pride reflecting in the green eyes. "And I know your message was received. Loud and clear."

"They didn't know who I was, right? To you."

"No."

"Do they know now?"

"Yes."

The one word was laced with such a dark, cold hatred, Nick was amazed his partner wasn't creaturing out just because he recalled the events. This had hit a nerve in more than one person and Nick was aware that blood had been shed by the regnant as well.

"Good," he only said.

Sean tilted his head, caught by surprise, then a smile spread over his lips.

It was a beginning. A rocky start to try this once more, hopefully without deception and lies.

Nick held out his hand and the puzzled expression almost had him smile.

"Hello," he said. "My name is Nick Burkhardt. I'm the Grimm of Portland. I pledge my allegiance and loyalty to you, Sean Renard, Guardian of Portland."

The regnant stared at him, shock and pleasure and something else warring in his eyes. He finally took the hand and Nick felt the tell-tale tingle of the psychic bond. It was trying to reestablish itself.

"I accept your pledge, Grimm," was the answer, Renard's voice holding a tremor only Nick heard. "You are part of my protectorate and I will do everything in my power to protect you as well."

Nick smiled. He placed one hand against Sean's chest, feeling the thrum increase. There was so much longing in the other man's expression, it was almost physically painful.

"I never meant to hurt you," the regnant said, sliding a careful hand around Nick's waist.

"But you did. Ignorance isn't bliss when it come to what you do, Sean. I need to know."

"You will."

And then the shields went down completely, opening up the psychic link, and Nick was overwhelmed and shocked and blown away by the very need of his mate.

x x x

Much to his own horror Renard felt his knees give away and he slid down the wall, shaking from something deep inside him he couldn't explain or even name. It was a dark ugly pit that had finally burst open after he had vehemently pressed onto its lid for so long. And it burst open with all the coldness and darkness of a black hole, threatening to suck him in just as forcefully. Renard could feel the last pebbles of the granite walls that had been his self control crumble into nothingness and he reached out to the only thing that could stop the landslide of his mind.

"I couldn't feel you," he whispered harshly.

There was suddenly someone there. Arms wrapped themselves around his shoulders, pulled him close. He leaned against the warm and very real body as Nick wrapped himself around him, both physically and over the bond, whispering soothing things he didn't even understand, didn't need to understand. Something inside him keened softly and gave, and he clenched his fists into Nick's shirt, needing to feel. The psychic connection flared to life once again, powerful and energetic, and then all Sean was capable of feeling was Nick's presence.

Nick whispered apologies, his lips ghosting over one temple, fingers sliding over his skin, over clothes, into his hair.

Renard just felt. He forgot all about composure and facades and control. He didn't care. He couldn't care right now.

His mate was back.

Finally. Alive. Warm.

Not cold.

He leaned closer, hesitantly pressing his lips against the other man's, feeling like a teenager at his first date.

Nick met the almost shy kiss, hands touching him carefully. When they separated, Renard tried to gauge his mate's reaction to the intimate contact. He didn't see any disgust or anger, which was good. But there was a twinkle, which he didn't really like.

"You call that a kiss, Captain?" Nick asked, teasing. The gray eyes had lit up with something that Sean thought was very, very bad.

Before he could reply – or even make sense of the suddenly playful words - the Grimm grabbed him and his lips came down on his mouth, stealing his breath, a questing tongue demanding and finding access. Renard responded to the assault, feeling the primal side rumble with approval by the demanding and claiming kiss.

Finally Nick let go, swiping his tongue over Renard's lower lip as he came up for air, eyes alight.

"That's a kiss," he declared breathlessly.

Renard chuckled, feeling the last stifling bands around his chest evaporate. He enjoyed the closeness, the gentle waves coming off the psychic link. It was like a life boat for a drowning man, getting pulled to safety inch by inch, and he clung to it all, control be damned.

Nick kissed him again, gentler this time, exploring instead of conquering, and Sean responded in kind. He wrapped his arms around the compact frame, drawing his mate closer. The kisses grew in intensity and Nick nipped at Renard's jaw, then his throat, trailing a path down to the collar bone. A soft exhalation answered him.

The regnant bit back on the more unrestrained reaction, aware that he had to do this at Nick's pace. They kissed for a long time, just exploring each other's mouths, their bodies melting against each other.

Nick finally pulled back, flushed and slightly disheveled, and Renard clung to the hum of the bond, feeling it stronger now, healing, weaving back into the single, powerful connection between them.

Gray eyes regarded him calmly, boring into his soul, searching and hopefully finding what he needed. Sean held that gaze, open, shields still down.

Nick raked gentle fingers through his short hair. "I want to know, Sean."

He nodded. "Everything."

"Then tell me."

x x x

And Sean kept his word. As painful and infuriating and downright dark it was sometimes, Renard told him.

Nick suddenly understood the fine web that had been woven to protect him, to test him, to keep him in line and also simultaneously push the Grimm into learning and emerging more. Renard had done whatever was necessary to follow his goals and equally keep Nick both guarded from others as well as in line when it came to overlapping interests.

Like the Lowen Games.

It had shocked the Grimm to realize that it had been his mate's decision to rid himself of the unwanted elements in the wesen world, the addicts and low life that interrupted the smooth workings of the protectorate.

Renard was the center of it all, the master of the weblines, the strings of all the puppets, and it was dark and painful to know, but it also freed him in a way.

Nick knew there would be more. This wasn't the end. But he had to push it away when working daily cases. So far he had refused to fall back upon Renard's knowledge when it came to Grimm cases, only involving Monroe, but now it made sense to check with his mate. Politics were a bitch.

Lying together on the hideously wide and expensive couch, both lost in their own thoughts, Sean more or less asleep against him, Nick found the warm presence soothing and more calming than he would have thought. The taller man was clad in a t-shirt and sweat pants, so unlike his normal self at the office. His face was pressed against Nick's stomach, one hand fisted into the already rumpled, blue shirt, and his breathing was evening out more and more.

Nick didn't mind.

He was actually quite comfortable and the couch was wide enough.

"I missed this," he said softly, feeling an answering sigh brush his skin.

He had truly missed it a lot. And he had ignored what it had done to the so powerful creature Renard was, how it had decimated his shields, had made him function but not live.

He held that power over the other man. Nick Burkhardt, Grimm. It was amazing and frightening in one. It was what Monroe had tried to tell him, what Frank had explained. There were no all-powerful wesen anywhere; all of them had an Achilles heel. A weak spot. And Nick was Sean's.

Yes, it was terrifying to know. He was strength and he was weakness in one.

How did Sean handle it?

Badly, if his mate breaks the bond, a nasty voice told him. Just look at him!

Nick drew lazy patterns against the warm skin. He wouldn't let this happen again. He understood now; he would deal with whatever came his way.

He let Renard doze off, fingers gently carding through the dark hair, a soothing caress.

tbc...