......"I am really not Ron" then he planted a kiss right on Harry's startled lips.

"I'm not Ron" he repeated firmly looking at Harry fiercely

"I do love you as much as him, but I am not my brother, I am not your brother, and I have very different feelings for you" he smiled softly.....

CHAPTER 10

Harry stared startled and disbelieving. He couldn't even fathom this, his mind was whirling with confusion even as his lips tingled and his blood zinged warmly. All his mind would compute was 'Charlie kissed me! Oh my God he kissed me, why'd he kiss me, what was that he's saying' in a completely panicked haze. He stumbled backwards unintentionally eyes wide as he stared into the bright blue eyes that had come to mean more to him in the last few months than anything else. He'd felt closer to Charlie than he had ever to anyone else, he'd trusted him and gone to him for comfort and companionship when he thought his problems were just too large a pressure for Ron and Hermione to deal with. But this, was it what he wanted, was it supposed to happen like this...how was an abused unloved kid supposed to know what he felt when he was such a wreck he was all over the place? He watched those hopeful and caring eyes turn a darker shade of blue and the worried frowns appear. That frown was there when Harry had visions and when he got upset and when he was hurt. It definitely wasn't supposed to be there when the man had just kissed him was it? Could he not do anything right? Oh Merlin he was screwing this up as bad as Cho with the crying and the anger and avoidance. Damn he liked Charlie he knew that much, he needed him. If this was what Charlie needed to be around for him then so be it. He'd always wanted someone to love him for him. He could do this to have that, he'd sworn to God many times locked in his cupboard that he'd do anything to get the Dursley's love. This wasn't asking much for all Charlie gave him back was it?

He smiled sort of wobbly at Charlie and moved back towards him tentatively.

"You do?" he whispered so close he felt the whoosh of air leave Charlie in a cloud of minty chocolate and a herbal scent he knew was completely Charlie.

"Yeah" Charlie whispered as if trying not to break the tension swirling around them.

"Oh" Harry nodded letting his gaze fall to those chapped lips that had just kissed him wondering mildly if that was why Cho's kiss had been so weird to him, her lips had been overly soft and the taste of the lip gloss was nasty.

Charlie leaned in slowly with a small smile on those lips as he watched wide green eyes flicker closed the closer he got. He pressed a soft gentle kiss to Harry and then slid an arm around his back. He hugged him to him and pulled them over to the couch. He'd promised himself if Harry took this ok he'd go slowly and do his best not to scare him off.

"I know it's a bit strange, because of Ron and being his brother and you his best friend. But we can take this real slow, just see where it takes us, as long as you're happy and comfortable with this?"

Harry cocked his head and smiled slightly. Yes this was comfortable, like home, he'd loved it when he'd been held close to Charlie and he'd been able to have all the warmth and comfort he had ever been forbidden while they talked and Charlie helped him through everything. This really wasn't such a bad deal really he concluded happily sighing and resting his head on the firm chest to listen to the soft thump of his heart beat, it had become one of the most soothing sounds after a vision he could ask for to bring him back down to earth and away from the horror. He hummed happily that warm fuzzy feeling he always got wrapping around him like a protection blanket. The darkness of the world he lived in always seemed further away when he was like this.

Charlie got them comfortable and soon they were both dosing on the couch peacefully, the madness that was pervading the outside world at that moment so far away it was almost forgotten completely.

The Headmasters office was in uproar. Lucius and Severus were seated furthest away from the old coot. As spies they always seemed to be shoved to the periphery of the Order, not quite accepted not quite denied. But now they were watching comfortably from their places as Molly Weasley threw a spectacular fit. Arthur Weasley poor man was trying futilely to restrain his wife's fiery temper as the twins watched from across the table looking way too happy not to be the focus of that anger for once. Remus and Sirius were both sat nearest them having Flooed in just as they all settled in for what would surely be hours of arguments and planning. Both of them were ghostly pale and looked like they too had just seen the animated corpse of one of their childhood friends although they'd only heard the account along with the others not present.

"...Poor Harry will be traumatised, he's probably right this minute planning to go haring off again with a bunch of teenagers barely qualified to rescue her and then we'll be back at last June again with everyone rushing after them to save them from dying again and then what? The boy will be destroyed if his mother is not put peacefully to rest again!" She ranted on and on.

"Actually I believe Harry is calmly playing chess with Charlie, that's how we left them" Severus snarked

"The boy has learned his lesson from almost costing Black his life, he is not going to go 'haring off' as you so put it" Lucius sneered at his aristocratic best.

The whole room froze in a tableau of utter shock and surprise. It was actually worth attracting all their attention just for the gold fish impressions Severus mused raising a sarcastic brow at the Weasley matriarch.

"Where did you think your other son and Order member could possibly be if not here madam?" he drawled

Mrs Weasley sputtered a moment looking about the room.

"Charlie stayed with Harry?" she asked faintly

"Yes" Lucius answer overrode Severus sarcastic snort.

"Oh well then" she deflated slightly

"He could hardly be left alone right now could he, not that any of you have ever thought of this before" Severus snorted shooting Lucius a smirk as he got his barb in anyway.

"How is he?" Sirius rasped turning haunted grey eyes on them finally.

"He's...fine, I think" Lucius frowned

"He actually seems to have matured a lot, he has no plans to race off, he is actually waiting patiently for plans and answers" Severus added a note of respect creeping into his tone

The meeting then proceeded to get into plans and actions and talk of much more serious matters such as the recovery of Lilly Potter and the plans behind such despicable actions and what the dark was hoping for.

When Sirius and Remus followed the two Slytherins back to Charlie's rooms the sight that met them was so cute they all smiled fondly. Charlie was sprawled out on the couch with Harry lying in his arms curled up head on his chest. Charlie's strong arms were wrapped around him and they were both smiling softly. Harry's hair was tickling Charlie's nose and he kept twitching his nose every few seconds. Harry twitched and then before any of them could blink he was on his feet wand pointed at them eyes still blurry and unfocused.

"Harry!" Sirius yelped holding his hands up in the universal sign for surrender.

"Sirius?" he asked groggily as Charlie stretched and woke looking between them with a soft smile.

"Oh hey guys, we fall asleep?" he asked rubbing his face.

"That's some fast reflexes you have Harry" Sirius said eyes wide as the wand was still focused on them steadily while he rubbed his own eyes.

"Don't sneak up on me, I don't like it" he mumbled finally dropping his wand.

"Yeah it's a dangerous move to make" Charlie grinned remembering the first night he'd approached in the alley.

"Well what do you expect me to do?" Harry groused looking pretty adorable his hair all over the place and sleep creases down his face.

Harry shrugged and dropped back onto the couch now eyeing them all with curiosity.

"So?" he demanded when they'd all settled down.

"Dumbledore swears blind that the grave was secure, that it was almost impossible to get at them" Remus muttered.

"Almost" Harry snorted

"Just like it was supposed to be safer at the Dursley's" he muttered sullenly

There was a short silence before Harry stood abruptly.

"Ok so what about getting her back?" he asked softly

"Well" Remus sighed and looked at Sirius

"He thinks it's a trap and she'll be safe until we can get more information, that we should wait...for opportunity, see what the greater plan is" he sighed wearily.

Harry was silent, so still he could have been carved of stone.

"Just another sacrifice for the greater good" he whispered brokenly.

"Harry?" Charlie touched his arm gently.

Harry flinched and moved away he looked like a scared rabbit.

"It's all the same in the end isn't it, sacrifice everything you have, everything you are for the cause, never be happy, always suffering. I'm the Prophesy child, I don't matter just a weapon really" he murmured looking quite disturbed.

"Harry?" Sirius whispered eyes widening.

"I have to go" Harry muttered not even looking at any of them.

He stumbled slightly as he got to the door and fled.

"I don't think that can be good at all" Remus sighed

"No definitely not good" Charlie agreed.

But Harry didn't do what he'd always done and go running off when the adults ignored the issue. He didn't do anything in actual fact. He went completely silent and uncommunicative. Everyone assumed it was a delayed reaction to seeing his mother. None of the school knew Dumbledore had blithely decided retrieving her wasn't as important as waiting to encourage another clue to the grand evil scheme Voldemort was working on. But Harry withdrew completely. His brand new relationship was completely avoided. He didn't go near Charlie; in fact he had managed to forget he had Care of magical creatures quite conveniently. He just couldn't figure out how he was supposed to behave with him now. He needed his friend Charlie, his big brother figure; the older more mature Ron right now, but how did that work out when they had just kissed. So he did what he did best and avoided him and the issue all together. He wouldn't look at Severus in Potions and plainly ignored the man's request he stay behind after class. In defence lessons he did the work robotically, no more teasing and messing about showing just how advanced he was. He just did enough to pass class. He avoided the great hall and didn't speak to his friends much outside class. He looked haunted.

Harry was a mess. A complete and utter mess. He felt so lost and let down. All he could think was that all he was to them was a weapon, a means to an end. A tool of destruction and murder. He didn't have a life he could enjoy. He didn't have anything. So he withdrew and did what was required of him like a good little trained soldier and nothing else. He couldn't even drag up the famous Potter mask for everyone. He felt totally bereft and alone. He'd come to telly on Charlie and now he couldn't even ask him for that support because he was afraid of how to. He had thought perhaps he was getting a life for that small time there with Charlie. He'd believed he was getting his dream and having someone to love who loved or liked him at least in return. But now all he could see was the possibility of death staring like a gaping hole in front of him at all times. Nothing mattered to anyone but him defeating Voldemort, they didn't care about anything but that. He'd only reacted so calmly because he'd believed they would care, they would plan to help him get her back. To save his mother from them and let her rest peacefully as she deserved. But they hadn't and it had destroyed the fragile hope he'd been building in the adults in his life all over again. Only this was worse than when they'd left him to abuse and the Dursley 'loving' care. This was so painful and deep he couldn't help the ripping he felt of any trust he'd ever had for the people he'd always thought were responsible in his life. He hadn't meant to close Charlie out at first; It wouldn't have been so awkward if he'd just stayed but after two days he just couldn't figure out how he went back. Then the longer he went without that comfort the less he remembered it and the more the dark crept back in. The more he lost that light that Charlie and Ron had managed to put there by helping him so much like family would. Now all he could feel was the grinding horrible darkness of being alone with no one knowing or understanding him.

"This can't go on much longer!" Severus burst out in an Order meeting one week later.

They'd all just sat down and he made several people flinch with his outburst, he usually only made dry monotone reports from the death eater ranks for them. Here he was twice in the same period offering something more.

"What he means to say" Lucius drawled into the shocked silence

"Is has anyone else noticed that Mr Potter is so pale a vampire would envy him and he eats less than a bird. Talks little more than a mute and generally behaves like a zombie?" he finished arching a brow as several teachers nodded

"He hasn't come to see me at all" Charlie added

"He used to come at least once a day, sometimes more and he won't even look at me now" he looked a little worn, like he'd slept very little recently.

"He wants Lilly back" Remus offered quietly

"So do we!" Sirius growled glaring at Dumbledore.

"I have said gentlemen, it is unwise to risk us all for this" Dumbledore stated calmly.

"Lilly is just as much our saviour as Harry is, she gave her life so he would be able to stop Voldemort the first time, this is not the way to repay her sacrifice" Sirius growled looking a little like he was about to transform into his dog form and bite the headmaster.

"It is implausible Sirius, she is dead, she cannot feel, she will be safe enough until we can retrieve her safely" Dumbledore said firmly like that was an end to the discussion.

"As for Harry I shall have a word with him, he is acting very irresponsibly and immaturely in this, I am slightly surprised I thought he had grown up and decided to work with us instead of acting as he always has rashly and without planning and consideration that could save him and his friends lives"

"Talking to him won't help!" Charlie yelled suddenly jumping to his feet.

"Do you realise what your last little chat did to the boy? He believed he had to put up with abuse that was bordering on killing him because to tell us would be burdening us unnecessarily!" He hissed glowering at the old man angrily.

"You're talking like he doesn't have every right to be upset that Voldemort has his mother's dead body and may be using her for anything, he's evil for Merlin's sake what are the chances he's not defiling her in some way? He's got every right to be upset. What I want to know is what he meant to us when he said and I quote here! 'It's all the same in the end isn't it, sacrifice everything you have, everything you are for the cause, never be happy, always suffering. I'm the Prophesy child, I don't matter just a weapon really" Charlie was glaring full force at the headmaster now.

"Because that boy is not acting this way solely because of his mother, he didn't fall apart until he found out you planned to do nothing, he was trusting you to come up with an answer to help him and you didn't you sacrificed his peace of mind and comfort once again for the 'greater good'"

The room was completely silent then, no one even wanted to move as the stare off between Charlie and Dumbledore raised the tension in the room several notches.

"I concede, perhaps Harry is too young to take such criticism as well as an adult would and would possibly interpret it differently than it was intended. I am trying to do what is in his best interests too though, how would he feel if someone he knows from the Order died in this attempt?" Dumbledore asked after a long pause.

Charlie narrowed his eyes and looked to Severus and Lucius before flicking to Remus and Sirius.

"Well I think it's worth the risk. I have a plan where none of us should be hurt. The spies among us have perfect opportunity to get close to her when they are summoned, if they can they could throw a portkey on her no risks, have it delay react so she doesn't disappear until a few hours later, maybe even a day, no risk at all" he suggested

"It is an interesting and worthy idea" Lucius considered

"I would be willing" Severus nodded

"Lilly was very kind to me during our years here as students" he added softly

"Good then we should at least attempt it, Harry may feel better knowing we at least tried to get his mother back for him" Charlie said softly nodding thankfully to the two Slytherins.

"You may make the attempt" Dumbledore conceded slowly.

"But do not under any circumstances break your cover" he warned.

"We know we will die painfully should we" Lucius half sneered

"It's worth the risk, we have emergency port keys" Severus nodded looking firm and resolute to the plan.

The next death eater meeting was two days away and the two spies planned as much as they could. But everything always had an element of chance and luck to it. They could not guarantee anything in relation to the psychotic monster they pretended to serve. So the Portkey was made and the plan was gone over until they could repeat it word for word. Then the day came and as was inevitable everything went completely wrong.

Lucius bowed and offered his obeisance to Voldemort and then Severus followed suit. Lilly in her cloak, a trophy of sorts stood just beside the evil monster staring blankly just waiting his command. They waited until the meeting was winding down. Severus used a spell to move the portkey into place quickly banishing it to her pocket silently and wandlessly. It was programmed to go off in ten hours, when they'd be long gone and hopefully someone else would be around to blame or no one would witness it and just assume she had been rescued without them knowing. But the little charmed orb landed in her pocket and she twitched attracting attention from their 'Lord'. He narrowed his eyes at her and accioed the item she had curiously pulled from her pocket. Damn if he hadn't mixed necromancy of the darker kind to make her seem more alive to animate her. It meant she could react minimally like a human would. He scanned the magic and knew it was a portkey, he also knew the magical signature of every one of his death eaters through their marks and hissed angrily at Severus. Lucius took the distraction to grab Lilly. But a curse by one of the quicker followers still caught him and as he whizzed away on his own portkey he felt the pain explode and saw Severus dropping to the ground wand already lost.

Harry was sitting at dinner in the late evening when it happened. His scar burst open blood flowing from it freely and he screamed in agony, falling slowly to the floor.

Ron was beside him instantly. Hermione waving her wand at his head to try stemming the blood.

"Damn it Harry get back here!" Ron shouted smacking his cheeks lightly and quickly.

Harry writhed and arched painfully up off the floor. His body contorted and then he gasped and snapped dead straight like a log.

"He's got Severus" he whispered faintly eyes clearing. Then he sat up abruptly and clambered to his feet.

"Lucius has mum, he's coming here, but they caught Severus and their torturing him for a traitor" He announced loudly to the staff that had gathered around him his eyes meeting Dumbledore's. He had forbidden them to tell Harry until they had Lilly in case their failure made matters worse. Harry gave him a look of mingled anger and betrayal.

Lucius chose that moment to stumble in carrying the now completely dead body of Lilly Potter.

"They caught him" was all he said before he passed out.

Harry paced the hospital wing as his mother was placed in a coffin to revert to her fifteen years dead appearance out of sight. Lucius was propped up healed in a bed talking softly to the adults. He'd point blank refused to leave and Ron and Hermione had backed him up.

"He won't have long if we want him back sane" Lucius sighed

"He's on his third crucio" Harry murmured eyes squinting.

"Diffindo twice, leg broken, fingers broken, blasting curse to foot" he reeled off.

"He will die in two hours, they are having him hung by his wrists now to try damaging his hands further, they want him to die knowing he will never be able to brew again"

Everyone waited for him to finish with baited breath.

"I'm going for him. I won't let someone die in such suffering because they were doing something I couldn't myself" Harry announced firmly

"You can come with me and support me or you can stay here and wait, but I am going and short of killing me very little you do will prevent it, I am more magically strong than even you old man, so no binding me won't help you at all put the wand away" Harry sneered and everyone caught the movement of Dumbledore's wand being replaced in his sleeve sheath.

"Now then I need to know where he is Lucius?"

Lucius looked at him solemnly

"Riddle house beyond the cemetery of your fourth year" he replied steadily.

"Ok then, are you coming or do I need every bit of information you can provide now?" Harry asked steadily ignoring all the adults staring at him in shock.

"I love Severus" Lucius replied as if it were obvious.

"Of course" Harry nodded

"Harry-" Charlie began

"No Charlie I am not acting on a, what was it you said...oh yes 'a need to reassert myself. A need to prove I'm not the abused and broken kid the paper says I am. To show the world that perhaps I'm not their happy, perky boy hero but am still capable of saving them and giving them hope for survival.' I am doing this calmly, I am planning this and I am doing it to rescue someone who has lately been a very good friend to me, if not for the past week as I have been a little removed from reality, but I will not let him die needlessly and I am not being irrational or irresponsible I am giving everyone the chance to help me" Harry interrupted

"I was just going to say I'm coming too" Charlie grinned

"But it is nice you realise those things" He added cheekily.

"We're wasting time, coming, staying whatever, you have five minutes to be in the floo room in the entrance hall, we'll make plans once we have the Riddle place surveyed and know what we're up against" He announced moving swiftly to the hospital wing doors.

"This is the Harry we know and love, he always does best under pressure" Ron grinned following Harry easily with Hermione right behind him. Charlie was helping Lucius get ready quickly.

There was complete silence for a moment.

"I say we back him up, if we don't he won't trust us when he really needs us in the final battle. We all know it's getting close, he's getting stronger every day, we lose him now and he may end up doing something foolish in the future, take the chance he's offering us now, we've ignored him in the past and we've paid for it" McGonagall offered sternly glaring around like someone had disagreed with her already.

"He came to me about the Philosopher's stone and I brushed him off I will not do it again" She asserted pulling her robes around her stiffly

"Besides Severus has been a dear friend and colleague for some years, he does not deserve this death" she informed them before making her way to the doors....

Hey everyone glad you like it so far :D

I'm deciding right now if Harry should defeat Voldy now or just get sev and get out so the story is longer. If he does it now it'll probably be over in another two or three chapters, because then all I have to do is sort him and Charlie out. But I can't decide whether they need some more ups and downs first and some more drama with Voldy to make it better :D So I hope you enjoyed this chapter the decision will be up in the next week I expect :D ENJOY:D