A/N: SURPRISE UPDATE! Since I couldn't do my surprise update last week I made sure to do it this week! This is one of my many thanks to all you who have reviewed and added my stories to your favorite or alerts! We are getting closer to the big chapter and I'm getting more and more excited about what you all would think! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
I do not own anything Twilight...
Two weeks later…
It had been two weeks since I had returned from Forks and I was still walking around zoned out. All I was thinking about was my mother and Phil. All I wanted was for them to be back. My days were filled with anguish and my nights with nightmares. I was literally an empty soul. Esme had done an amazing job putting together a remembrance service for both my mother and Phil. It was hard not being able to at least see my mother once more, instead we had to look at just a photo of her. I didn't remember anything from that day since all I could do was cry and fall to sleep, each time hoping that it was just a bad dream. Each time I awoke with my heart aching.
The gang had tried to help me get in better conditions but I wasn't in the mood for anything. The only thing that kept my mind occupied was work, school and trying to be enthusiastic for Rose's wedding, which was in two weeks. She did give me an out for the wedding but no matter what my sufferings were I was not going to miss my best friends wedding.
Edward on the other hand seemed to be trying to be patient and to help me through it since he knew how it was to lose a parent. I said trying because there were times when I saw how frustrated he was. I knew he had the right since I was completely zoned out and didn't even seem to care what was going on around me. I knew deep down that I was being a horrible girlfriend but I just didn't care, I had lost my mother and I all wanted to do was give up. Today was one of those days where Edward had come to the bookstore to take me back home and I was being horrible once again.
"Bella, how was your day?" he asked as we sat in his car on the way home.
"Fine." I answered in one word. These days that's all anyone got from me.
"How are you feeling?" he tried again patiently.
"Fine." I mumbled looking out the window.
"Damn it Bella!" Edward suddenly yelled and pulled the car over. His voice made me look up at him in total disbelief. He had never yelled at me or looked as angry as he did at the moment. "I can't take this anymore! You've been like this for the past two weeks! I've tried being patient and I understand that you lost someone you love but look at yourself Bella! You haven't eaten right since that day and you are letting yourself go! What happened to that strong girl that I fell in love with?"
"She doesn't exist!" I said angrily. I couldn't believe that he was mad at me for being upset. Of course I was upset! I had lost my mother!
"Bella you can't do this to yourself. Renee would not want this. She would want you to be strong and to live your life. You can't give up on life Bella. We are all worried about you. You have lost so much weight and look very pale sweetie. You have to get help Bella or I will call Charlie." He threatened at the end.
I refused to answer him back and just looked back out the window. I had heard this same threat last week. I was a big girl and wasn't afraid of my father.
"Fine if you want to harm yourself and leave your father without a daughter then you are more selfish then I thought." He whispered and put the car in gear.
Hearing him mention leaving my father made my heart ache the same way it had when I found out about my mother. My father was all I had left and I couldn't cause him more pain. He didn't deserve another heart ache. Imaging the pain my father would go through brought on a series of new tears. I buried my head in my sleeves of my coat and tried hard to stop the sobs that were escaping from me.
Obviously not being successful I felt when Edward pulled over once more. A moment later I felt his hand grasp my arm and pull me towards him. I buried my head in his coat and let the sobs escape. I knew that I had given up on life and I knew that I had been selfish for the past two weeks. I also knew how unhealthy I looked because this morning I had looked in the mirror and noticed the bags under my swollen eyes, the blotchy face, the white color of my face and how my clothes hung off of me.
"I'm so sorry sweetie. I didn't mean to be so harsh." Edward whispered as he tightened his grip around me.
I shook my head in his arms but didn't say anything. I just tried to control my sobs by breathing in and out slowly. Once I had calmed down I pulled back and wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my coat and looked over at Edward. For the first time in two weeks it suddenly dawned on me that I looked a horrible hot mess in front of Edward. I let out a long breath and tried to fan myself.
"I'm sorry." I whispered looking down at my hands. I was suddenly very embarrassed that I had caused so much pain and suffering to the people that loved me.
Edward took my hand away from my lap and lifted my face with the other. "No I'm sorry I yelled at you. I shouldn't have lost control of my emotions."
"No, I should be strong. My mother would not be happy with my right now and I shouldn't have put you through this. I don't want to be like this Edward. I need to be stronger and I'm going to. I promise." I whispered looking at him.
"Bella you know that I'm here if you need me. We all are, love. It kills me to see you like this. This isn't you." He said as he caressed my cheek. "This isn't my Bella and I've missed her a lot." He smiled lightly. I smiled back and then leaned against the headrest as Edward headed to my apartment.
Once we were at my apartment I asked him to come in and walked back to the bathroom to wash my face. When I looked in the mirror I noticed once again how horrible I looked and at the same time my stomach rumbled. I was starving and now that I was conscious of it I needed to eat. I knew my refrigerator was full because Alice had stocked it a few days ago so I headed back into the kitchen.
"Edward..." I said walking into the kitchen while pulling my hair up. When I noticed him sitting at the kitchen table with a folder in his hands I suddenly started to freak.
"What's this Bella?" he asked looking at me.
"Umm I forgot to tell you..." I said as I sat next to him.
"You're leaving?" he asked with a pained expression.
"I haven't really thought about it. I got accepted before we went to Forks and then with what happened I hadn't even remembered." I sighed.
"If you got it before you left why hadn't you told me?" he asked.
"Because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. After I talked to my mother..." I said but stopped, recalling that conversation and the one before that about the baby.
"What are you going to do? This says you'll be gone for two semesters..."
"I haven't thought about it Edward, my mother told me that I should go and I think that she was right. It's a great opportunity."
"It is but what about us? Where does that leave us?"
"It leaves us together just in different countries Edward. I'm not breaking up with you and the reason I didn't want to go was because I'm going to miss you, but..."
"It's what Renee wanted..." he finished and placed the papers on the table.
"Are you mad? Do you not want me to go?"
"It doesn't matter what I want Bella. It's a great opportunity and you can't pass it up." he sighed but I could tell that he wasn't happy about it.
"Edward, please don't be upset. I love you and those two semesters are going to be the hardest in my life but I need to make my mother proud. She promised you would understand..." I whispered looking down at my hands. I could feel the tears building in my eyes and sniffed.
I heard him let out a hard breath and then sit down. "I do understand Bella. I just didn't know I would only have you for two more weeks. I've lost you for two already and now I only have two more."
"I know and I'm sorry but we can spend the next two making up." I smiled at him lightly.
"Sure..." he mumbled but I could tell he was still upset.
"I'm hungry do you want to eat something and watch a movie?"
"Actually I have to get going. Bree needs help at the center..." he said and as he did I noticed how he wasn't looking at me.
"Oh..." I whispered.
"Yeah...well I should get going...I'll call you tonight okay." he said getting up. I raised my head to give him a kiss but instead he kissed my forehead.
"I love you..." I whispered.
"Love you too..." he said and then headed out the apartment.
As I sat at the table I could feel the tears falling down my face. Things were not the same and I could feel it in every fiber of my being. I knew he was upset that I kept the trip from him but something else was bothering him. I decided to call Alice and see if she knew something I didn't.
"Bella..." Alice answered on the second ring.
"Hey Allie..."
"No more zombie Bella?" she squealed which made me smile.
"No more zombie Bella, I promise." I chuckled.
"Great it was a pain not having you physically here! How are you doing?"
"I'm doing well. Listen can I ask you something?"
"Yeah sure, what's up?"
"Well two things...first how is my princess? I feel like I've been an awful aunt." I sighed realizing that I hadn't spent any time with my favorite little girl.
"She is being a little devil that one. She's been asking about her auntie Bella, so I think you need to spend a night with her..." she hinted which made me laugh.
"I agree, now question two...have you noticed anything different with Edward?"
"Umm...why do you ask?" she said hesitantly and that alone told me she had.
I started to tell her about what happened earlier and the discussion we had about the trip.
"And I know he's upset about that but something else seems to be bothering him." I finished.
"Okay well first Congratulations! That is a terrific opportunity and you better not let it pass. Second I have noticed that he hasn't spent much time with us but when we ask he just says he's studying or busy at work or..." she said but paused.
"Or what?" I asked irritated that she wasn't telling me the rest.
"Or helping Bree out with random things..." she whispered very quickly.
As soon as she said that I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. A habit that I had picked up from Edward. Again those worries I had before the funeral flooded back, but then I remembered my conversation with Edward and decided to let it go. I had a lot of things going on and I couldn't worry about something that I knew was just my imagination.
"Oh okay...well that's going to change..." I said because I realized that she was just around Edward since she didn't have us around.
"What do you mean?" Alice asked.
"I've been horrible these past two weeks maybe she was being a friend but I'm back now and their time together needs to be decreased. You, Rose and I are her friends and well we've been so wrapped up with our lives that we haven't checked in with her. I'm going to see if she's available to go out this weekend. Are you available?"
"umm yeah sure. Are you sure about this Bella?"
"Yes I am. We are her friends and we need to remember that. I'll talk to you later okay. Love you sis."
"Love you too." Alice said and then hung up.
After hanging up with Alice I prepared myself a sandwich with some chips and walked to my room to study a little. As I was studying I thought about why Bree was so attached to Edward. For the past few months I had been so wrapped up in my own life and hadn't spent anytime with my friends. Of course I had spent time with Rose and Alice but that was because of the wedding, our families in Forks and Allison. Other then those moments I was focused on my life. I had been an awful friend to Bree and hadn't realized it. Since Edward worked with her and studied with her she was attached to him since she didn't have any friends. I suddenly felt guilty for thinking so bad about her and not giving her a chance. I decided then that I would start being a better friend to her. I quickly picked up my phone and called her.
"Bella?" she answered on the fourth ring.
"Hey Bree, listen I wanted to talk to you. Are you available for lunch tomorrow?" I asked remembering that she had a break before going to work.
"Yeah is everything okay?" she asked I'm sure surprised that I was calling.
"Yeah I just wanted to talk about something. So I'll see you tomorrow at 12, lets say at the diner down from the center?"
"Yeah sure, I'll see you then."
"Alright bye, see you tomorrow." I said hanging up.
I finished my sandwich and then continued studying until it was getting late. Before going to sleep I decided to text Edward because I had missed talking to him today.
Sorry about not telling you. You mean the world to me and I hope you know that. I love you, always... -B
As I lay in bed for another 15 minutes waiting for his message back I started to feel something I hadn't in a long time. I felt alone...that is until I heard my phone ring.
"Hello" I whispered.
"Did I wake you?" Edward asked.
"No, I'm awake."
"I'm sorry it took me long to answer you. I'm sorry I overreacted; this opportunity is once in a life time. I'm proud of you and want you to take advantage of it. I love you and will be here, always." He said and I knew he was telling the truth.
"I love you Edward. You know that right?"
"Yes as I love you. You know that right?"
"Yes."
"Well get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams love."
"They always are." I laughed.
"As are mine. A beautiful brunette with doe eyes star in them." he chuckled.
"Oh really, what does the brunette do in them?"
"Hmm...That's for me to know and you to find out." he laughed.
"hmm...tempting..." I said seductively.
"Goodnight love, you have class in the am." Edward chuckled.
"Alright goodnight, see you in my dreams."
"I'll meet you there..." Edward said and then hung up.
I lay back in bed not feeling so alone anymore. Tomorrow I would start being Bella again and begin being a better girlfriend to Edward and friend to Bree.
The latter as I realized soon afterwards was the worst mistake ever...
So...What did you think? Hit the button below and let me know what your thoughts are!
Next Update on Friday and it will be the beginning chapter of the part you've been waiting for...