Gabriel was sleeping when he heard it. It was just a whisper, barely even audible. But he heard it all the same. It didn't wake him up, but it sent him across the time and space (and dimensions) separating him from the one who had spoken.
"Sam." Of course it was Sam. Still mostly asleep, Gabriel sighed as he rolled into the warm body next to him. Strong arms came up around him instantly, pulling him into a hard chest and causing a sleepy smile to spread across his face. He fell back into an easy sleep, unaware of the drama that would greet him later.
Later came the next morning. The archangel blinked awake, his head still fuzzy and keeping him from realizing where he was – and from feeling the death glare aimed at him from across the room.
When he finally noticed the glarer, his head tilted in confusion. "Dean? Why are you in my house?"
An angry snort escaped the hunter. "Try again, shortstack. Wait, let me ask a question. Why the fuck are you in bed with my brother?"
"I'm not–. Oh. Well, fuck," Gabriel said softly, now trying to keep the moosely man beside him from waking up.
"I'm not kidding, asshole. Why the fuck are you here? Haven't you done enough to him already?" Dean demanded.
Gabriel glared at the taller man, ready to do battle. The soft grunt and sudden shifting beside him cut him off. Before Sam's well-defined arms could fully wrap around him, Gabriel's eyes widened and he simply disappeared.
Sam came awake slowly, feeling like something was missing. A glance around the room told him his brother had returned. Feeling closer to the surface than he had yesterday, the hunter said quietly, "Dean?"
The scowl on his brother's face melted away when Sam spoke, and it made him realize just how worried Dean had to be about him. His first reaction was to apologize, but Dean must have seen it in his face.
"Don't say it, Sammy. You have nothing to be sorry for."
Sam let out a sigh at that, not quite agreeing with his brother but unable to really argue it. Instead, he simply shrugged and sat up. After a moment, his eyes widened and he looked frantically around, patting the bed and his pillow until he found the golden feather he had found the night before.
Dean's expression tightened as he remember what Cas had told him on the way back to Bobby's.
"I believe that Jody is speaking of a feather from Gabriel's wings, though I am uncertain of how Sam would have come into possession of one. Perhaps Gabriel has visited Bobby's home while we were away?"
Watching Sam smile down at the fucking thing like it was the answer to all his prayers was just making Dean mad. Not because Sam was happy, of course. More for the thought that Gabriel had been here, watching Sam, while Dean was gone. And then to walk in and see the asshole latched onto Sam like a barnacle?
Hell, no.
It had taken everything in Dean to not shake the menace awake and demand he leave, but the older hunter hadn't wanted to wake Sam. And...he hadn't wanted to take away the smile and peace on the kid's face. It was the least angsty he had seen Sam in months.
Now that Sam was awake, Dean took a breath and plunged head-first into the icy water that was a conversation about...feelings.
"Sammy..." Dean began. Hazel eyes suddenly fixated on him, freezing the words in his throat. The older hunter swallowed and and leaned his head back, looking up at the ceiling to avoid Sam's eyes. "I just...I wanted to say I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I should have been a better big brother and – Shit!"
Dean's words were cut off as nearly two hundred pounds of little brother landed heavily in his lap. Sam curled up as best he could in Dean's lap, clutching onto his brother's shirt and feeling his heart beat wildly in his chest.
Dean's own heart was pounding from the sudden jolt of surprise, but he recovered quickly when he realized why Sam's actions seemed so familiar.
As kids, when Sam was scared and needed comfort, he would clamber into Dean's lap and the two would simply sit in silence as they drew comfort from the rock-solid knowledge that they had each others' backs.
Dean sighed and brought his arms up around Sam, rubbing one hand up and down his brother's back. It wasn't the most comfortable way to sit, but it was fairly comforting, and Dean counted that as an acceptable trade.
The two sat in silence for a long time.
Finally, Sam worked up the willpower to speak. Just three words, but they brought tears to Dean's eyes.
"Shut up, Jerk."
"Yeah, yeah, Bitch. Come one, let's go see if we can't throw some breakfast together," Dean said as he wrapped his arms around Sam's long-limbed body in a quick hug.
The brothers made their way downstairs, finding Jody and Cas already seated at the table. The sheriff had a cup of coffee in front of her, as well as a copy of the local paper. Cas was simply sitting there, his hands folded on top of the table.
The two looked up when the hunters stepped into the kitchen, sending smiles their way. Dean ushered Sam into a chair beside Jody before moving to start cooking. Sam sat silently, looking away when Jody tried to catch his eye with a smile.
Castiel took in a breath and opened his angelic senses. The confusion and hurt radiating from Sam took that breath away. The angel's face morphed into concern and he lightly brushed his consciousness against Sam's. The hunter jerked in his chair and turned terrified eyes to him. Castiel immediately drew back, belatedly remembering how many times Sam had had his mind taken over.
Jody turned to Sam and asked what was wrong, reaching out to lay a gentle hand on the hunter's arm. Sam jerked away and out of his chair, stumbling backwards until he hit the wall. Three sets of eyes turned to him, ratcheting his anxiety even higher.
A sound escaped him, a high-pitched whine, borne of his fear and betrayal. Moments later, he bolted for the stairs. Back in his bedroom, Sam curled up on the other side of the bed, clutching his feather and trying to remind himself to breathe.
Downstairs, Dean glared at Cas, itching to go to his brother and soothe whatever damage had just been done. The angel flinched at the hunter's black look, but didn't let go of his arm.
"Dean, allow me. It was my fault. I attempted to psychically reassure him, but it did the opposite." When Dean still strained against the tight grip, Cas shook him a little until green eyes met blue. "Please, Dean. Let me make this right."
With a sigh, Dean relaxed against the angel's hold. "Fine," he said, his teeth gritted tightly. He watched as Cas made his way to the staircase, the unearthly-quiet being making a rather lot of noise as he went. When he heard knuckles rapping against wood, he turned back to his aborted attempt at cooking.
Jody sat at the table, wide eyes staring down at the paper as she tried to stay out of what seemed to be a domestic issue. As a cop, you learn quickly that some things just need to be left alone. She kept her focus on the paper as Dean clanged around, finishing his attempt to cook.
Minutes later, the hunter sat heavily in the chair Cas had vacated, a plate clattering down in front of him. Silence reigned as Dean scarfed down his meal.
Finally, Jody spoke. "We're all going to make mistakes, Dean. The important thing is that we work together to bring Sam back to us. You know he only meant well," she finished softly, talking about Cas.
Dean sighed and pushed his plate away. "I know, Jody. But what if that's a setback that keeps Sam from actually coming back?"
"Oh, Dean. Just have faith that things will work out."
"Faith. Yeah, right. Sam's had more faith than most people I know and look how that turned out for him. He's been to hell, been used and abused by people he loved, and now he's being emotionally tortured by a dick with wings. Hell, most of his shit hands have been dealt by angels."
"What I don't understand, and feel free to explain it, is why Gabriel brought Sam back at all. From what you've told me, it seems like the guy is just out for himself. So why put that much effort into not only saving Sam, but making sure he didn't remember being down there?"
Dean opened his mouth to reply, but closed it after a second. A determined look hardened his eyes. "You know what, Jody? Let's ask him."
###########
When Gabriel had vanished from Sam's bed, he reappeared in one of his favorite spots on Earth. In the middle of nowhere, somewhere in the South, he lay back in the grass and closed his eyes. This far into the backwoods, no one was around for miles and miles.
There was only Gabriel and the peace that came from solitude. Birds chirped all around him, a breeze ruffled the leaves in the trees, and Gabriel smiled.
He lay there for a long time, almost allowing himself to fall asleep. Before he could quite drift away, he began to notice a tug of sorts, somewhere in his belly. Moments later, the tug became a jerk, sending Gabriel careening through dimensions to end up almost right where he had run from earlier.
Only, now he was in the basement, surrounded by angel warding and some curious runes that looked like they were meant to hold Loki. For the moment, he decided to let them think it would work.
'Them' being Jody and Dean.
The archangel sighed as he waited for the inevitable tirade. Instead, Dean surprised him.
Rather calmly, the hunter leaned against one of the support beams and asked quietly, "Why'd you save him?"
For once, Gabriel dropped the act. Almost solemnly, he replied, "Sam's been dealt some pretty shit hands. I figured the least I could do for my part in that, however fun for me, was to save him from my brothers and take the memories away."
"Oh yeah," Dean snorted, "the least you could do. Why the hell couldn't you just leave him alone after that? Why'd you have to stick around and fuck things up even more?"
Anger flashed across the angel's face, but he held it back; while Dean's words were inflammatory, he wasn't exactly wrong. Gabriel should have stayed away.
Add it to a long list of ways he had fucked up over his long life.
Shaking his head, Gabriel finally said, "I honestly don't know. I tried."
Before he could say any more, Dean exploded. "You tried?! My brother is stuck in his own head because of your selfishness, and that's all you can say for yourself? No. No fucking way. You will take responsibility for this, Gabriel, if I have to make you do it myself!"
Fire lit Gabriel's eyes. His whole body seemed to glow as his Grace suffused his vessel. "You think so, boy? You truly think you could make me do anything?" The angel's voice was eerily soft, sending chills down the humans' spines.
Jody laid a hand on Dean's arm and tugged him until he turned away. Jody stepped forward and brazenly met Gabriel's gaze. "I don't think anyone, anywhere, could make you do anything. But I think you know that this is something you need to do. That boy up there is hurting, and you are one of the only ones who could possibly help him."
The fire faded from Gabriel's eyes. "It's too late for that. All I could do now is hurt him worse. It's better that I stay away."
Jody's face tightened in her anger, but she held onto her composure. "Better for whom?"
With that, she turned and walked away.
Dean turned back to glare at Gabriel. "You did this to him. With your selfishness, your need to have everything go your way, but never take any blame, and your absolute refusal to clean up your own messes. You know what? I'm glad you're leaving him alone. I could care less about Sammy being with a dude, but you? He's better off alone." After scuffing his boot into the largest mark holding Gabriel in the basement, Dean turned his back on the angel and headed back upstairs.
Gabriel sighed as Dean's parting words echoed in his head. "Yeah, I know."
A tug of Trickster magic later, Gabriel was gone.
##########
Sam flinched when the sound of knuckles hitting the door reached his ears. He curled up tighter, pulling his knees as far into his chest as they would go, hoping that whoever it was would go away.
Instead, they entered the room.
Castiel closed the door behind him, then leaned back against the hard surface. "I apologize, Sam. It was not my intention by any means to cause you distress."
Sam was too far gone to reply. Instead, he simply ducked his head and clutched the feather – something that was quickly becoming his security blanket – closer to him.
The angel sighed, knowing that words would not reach Sam this time. Cas came closer, moving to sit against the wall across from Sam. The hunter kept his head down and didn't look up.
For a long time, they sat in silence. Finally, Cas spoke again. "Sam. Will you look at me?" he asked softly.
Sam flinched, but raised his eyes to meet Castiel's. Fear was still evident in the hunter's eyes, but there was determination as well.
"Sam, I feel that I must apologize for many things. You are not the abomination that I once called you. Your soul is as bright as your brother's, and so much more damaged. I feel partially responsible for that damage." The angel looked down, unable to meet Sam's gaze. "If I had not interfered, Lucifer would have never been freed. You blame yourself for the Apocalypse, but it is I who hold the blame."
Sam's eyes widened at Castiel's admission. He had always wondered how the panic room door had mysteriously opened, allowing him to seek out Ruby. His brows drew together as Cas admitted his blame.
His earlier fear pushed down by the sadness in the angel's eyes, as well as Sam's white knight complex flaring to life, Sam scooted towards Cas. "No."
Cas' head jerked up, blue meeting hazel in shock as Sam came closer. "No?"
Sam shook his head. "N-not your f-fault."
The angel sighed. "Sam, I played a major part in setting you on the path that led to this point."
Sam shook his head once again. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't come. He clenched his fists as tears borne of his frustration welled in his eyes. After a few minutes, he finally found his tongue. "Not your f-fault, Cas. G-gabriel...Gabriel's fault."
Cas smiled as Sam spoke, not for the words, but for the fact that he was speaking. Once the words sank in, his smile faded. "While I agree that your current condition is due to Gabriel, I feel that he is suffering as well." At Sam's black look, he added, "Of course, he's still a 'jackass' for his actions."
Sam nodded his agreement, his expression fading into amusement at Cas' air quotes. For a long time, the two sat in silence. Suddenly, Sam jolted.
"Sam? What is it?" Cas asked, concerned.
Shaking, the hunter clutched at Cas' sleeve."G-gabriel."
Seeing the real hurt and fear in Sam's eyes, Cas let his senses flare. Realizing that his brother was indeed in the house, he felt a rush of anger. Before he could rush downstairs to confront his brother and the hunter who had summoned him, Sam's fingers tightened in his jacket.
Cas sighed and settled back against the wall, patting Sam's hand and sitting in silence with him for the duration of Gabriel's "visit".
Sam let out a long breath once he felt the archangel leave. His head thunked against the wall, tears burning in his eyes at the utter relief he felt. While interacting with Dean and Cas and even Jody felt normal and doable, the hunter had no idea how to interact around Gabriel.
So much had happened over the last few months, Sam just didn't know where to go. He still loved the snarky man, but honestly couldn't imagine a future where the two could be together. Gabriel had hurt him so badly.
But that was a problem for a different day.
For now, he had to focus on himself. Determination filled him as he took in a deep breath. Time to face his demons.
And win.