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PASSAGE OF HESITANCE
Nothing

The next couple of weeks went by quickly. Remus had cheered up a little bit, as he had so much work to do which took his mind off of his parents. Sirius hadn't given up though. Every two days, he sent a letter to Remus' parents in hope that they would reply, but so far, he had no such luck.

The dream of the pool was also playing repeatedly in Sirius' mind, and he really wanted to speak to Regulus. Every night, he would check the Marauders Map to see if he could get Regulus when he was alone somewhere, and it was tonight that he saw his brother sitting alone in an empty classroom on the fourth floor.

He quietly got out of bed, trying not to wake Remus, and tip-toed across the room. When he was out of the dormitory, he started walking faster. He didn't want to take too long in case Regulus left the classroom.

When he finally reached the classroom, he cautiously opened the door. Regulus was sitting by himself at a desk, writing something down on a piece of parchment. He looked up quickly when Sirius walked in, and stuffed the parchment into his bag.

"Hi, Reg," Sirius said quietly, stepping closer to him.

"What do you want?" asked Regulus, standing up. Sirius sighed.

"I just wanted to talk to you."

"Nothing to talk about, Sirius," Regulus said, starting to move towards the door. Sirius blocked his path.

"You're not going anywhere," he said, shoving him back down on a chair and then pulling up another chair to sit next to him. "Look, I just don't get why you're so angry with me."

"Oh," Regulus said. "Hm... ok then, let's think. Uh, oh yeah! You cheated on me!"

"Oh come on!" Sirius said. "Like you weren't already cheating on me!"

"We've been through this," Regulus said impatiently. "I was forced to marry her."

Sirius looked down at Regulus' hands and that was when he noticed it. There was no ring on his finger.

"Where's your wedding ring?" he asked, unable to help himself. Regulus looked slightly scared for a moment and then shrugged.

"I managed to talk mum and dad into letting me get a divorce," he said. Sirius couldn't believe his ears. Regulus actually did something... brave?

"What? So, you aren't married to her anymore?" Sirius asked.

"No, I'm not."

"But... they actually let you?"

"Yes, Sirius," Regulus said, going a little pale. Sirius stared at him in confusion.

"You don't look too happy about it," he said.

"I wonder why?" Regulus said bitterly, casting his eyes away from Sirius.

"Sorry, I'm not following," Sirius said.

"I didn't want to be with her because I want to be with you!" Regulus yelled. "But oh no, you went and got serious with him."

"I actually don't understand where you're coming from here," Sirius said. "You didn't like her. You should have broken up with her when we were still together. You can't just break up with her when I'm with someone else, not even tell me you've broken up with her, and then expect me to dump my own boyfriend to get back with you."

"I screwed up," Regulus said, looking down at his hands. "I screwed up everything, and now I'm just..."

"Just what?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me," Sirius said tentatively.

"I'm in a lot of trouble. Look... I'm sorry but I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore Sirius. Let's just pretend we don't know each other."

"What the hell?" Sirius yelled. "Ok, maybe we won't get back together, but we're still brothers! You can't just pretend that we don't know each other!"

"I just don't... if you knew... uh, goodbye, Sirius," Regulus said, standing up and running out of the door before Sirius could say anything.

Well, Sirius thought. That was weird.

##

"Apparition lessons today!" James shouted, waking everyone up. Peter sat up in his bed and groaned.

"Yay," he muttered. His parents hadn't paid for him to get lessons as she didn't see the need for it – neither his mother nor his father had taken lessons and they preferred travelling by portkey or floo.

"Aw don't complain, Pete," Sirius said, bounding over to his bed and thrusting a bag of gold into his hands. "Be a good rat and head out to Hogsmeade for us when we're at our lesson. Most of the school will be preoccupied anyway and you can go and buy some stuff for our party tomorrow night."

"What party?"

"Our victory party, after we beat Ravenclaw in Quidditch," Sirius said. Peter rolled his eyes.

"Well seeing as I have nothing better to do..."

"Thanks, mate," Sirius said, grinning and going back to his own bed. Remus was still sleeping and Sirius prodded him lightly. He made a small noise and then pulled the covers over himself more.

"Oh come on, baby," he whispered into Remus' ear. "Wake up."

"I am awake," Remus mumbled. "I just can't be bothered to move."

"If you get up now I promise I'll do that thing you love," Sirius said seductively. Remus didn't move.

"Last time you did it, you were too busy laughing about that prank you played on Snape," he said, in an annoyed tone.

"Sorry about that," Sirius said, with a grin at the memory. "But I promise this time it'll be better..."

"How?" Remus asked, turning his head so that he was looking at Sirius, who just smirked at him.

"Shower time!" he said brightly, grabbing Remus by the arms and pulling him out of the bed. He dragged him into the bathroom and shut the door.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked tiredly. Sirius couldn't help the smile that came to his face when he looked at Remus. His hair was fluffy and sticking out in all directions, and he had a blank expression on his face.

"I'm accompanying you for a shower," Sirius said, leaning forwards and kissing Remus.

"I can shower by myself, thanks," Remus said, blushing slightly. Sirius sighed.

"Oh come on, please," he said batting his eyelashes at Remus, who rolled his eyes.

"I don't know, Sirius," he said. "I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

"All we'll be doing is having a shower," Sirius said. "Nothing else..."

"But-"

"- Ok, Rem," Sirius said, kissing him on the forehead. "It's fine. I understand, and I don't want to pressure you into anything you aren't ready for. Oh, stop looking guilty babe. I love you."

"I'm sorry," Remus said sadly. "I just don't know... I'll let you know when I'm ready for that."

"Sure," Sirius said, heading for the door. "And be quick," he winked. "We have our first apparition lesson today, remember."

He closed the door behind him and noticed James and Peter were smirking at him. He went red in the face.

"It was nothing!" he said quickly. "I mean it."

"Yeah," James laughed. "You and Remus go into the bathroom and lock the door... and then you come out with a face as red as a tomato... that's definitely nothing."

"Oh shut up, guys," Sirius muttered. "I swear it was nothing. Pete, shouldn't you be sneaking to Hogsmeade right now?"

"Oh," Peter said, staring at the money in his hand as if he'd only just noticed it. "Yeah, Ok, I'll go now."

Sirius sighed and dropped down in his bed with his head in his hands.

"What's up?" James asked, coming to sit next to him.

"I don't know," Sirius said, blushing a little bit. James just stared at him, and he decided to just tell him. "Ok, I'm... frustrated."

"Frustrated?" James raised an eyebrow.

"I know this is kind of personal, but have you and Lily... you know... done it?" Sirius asked. James laughed.

"No," he said, looking rather put out. "Every time we get close, she says she isn't ready yet. It's annoying... like how can she be that cruel? She goes around acting all sexy and getting me so worked up and then teases me, and then says I'm not ready. Why do you ask?"

Sirius tried not to laugh at James' outburst. "Oh... it's just... it's the same thing with Remus. I mean, why do they do that?"

"I guess it's just in their nature," James sighed. "Never try to understand girls."

"Hey!" Sirius shouted. "Remus isn't a girl!"

"Well he acts like one," James said, wincing when Sirius hit him. "Ok joke, joke. God!"

"I don't get it though," Sirius said. "He's almost seventeen. When will he be 'ready'?"

"Maybe he's one of these 'no sex before marriage' people," James said. "I'm pretty sure that's what Lily told me she believed... I don't know... I was too busy staring at her-"

"- I don't want to know what you were staring at!" Sirius said quickly, before James could finish. "So what, you're saying I should marry him?"

"I don't know," James said. "I mean you're a bit young now, but that might be the only way to... you know..."

"Ugh," Sirius said. "Relationships."

"I know how you feel, mate," James said.

##

An hour later, they were all in the Great Hall attempting to learn how to apparate. Remus and Lily had already managed to apparate, but they'd both left behind strands of hair.

Snape was the same, and James and Sirius had secretly hoped that he would leave behind his nose, but they were out of luck.

When they tried it, they didn't get anywhere. Sirius began to feel like he'd never be able to apparate, but James reminded him that Lily, Remus and Snape were nerds and they still had eleven more lessons. This cheered Sirius up a bit.

After the lesson, Remus and Lily were asked to do their prefect duties, so Sirius and James were left to walk back to the common room.

"So," James said. "What have you got Remus for Valentine's Day?"

Sirius stopped and stared at James. "Valentine's Day?"

"Yes," James said. "Don't tell me you forgot."

"I... wait... no Valentine's Day is in May..."

"It's tomorrow, you fool!" James said, rolling his eyes and hitting Sirius over the head.

"Oh crap," Sirius said. "I haven't got him anything. I don't even know what to get for him!"

"Get him a box of chocolates or something... you know how much he loves chocolate."

"That's not enough!" Sirius said, feeling more and more worried. How could he have forgotten about Valentine's Day?

"You wanna see what I got for Lily?" James asked as they reached the door to their dormitory. Sirius nodded, hoping he could maybe get some ideas.

James headed over to his bed and opened his trunk, pulling out a mass of tangled up lingerie. Sirius pursed his lips.

"You're actually going to give those to her?" he asked.

"Yeah... then maybe she'll rethink the whole sex thing," James said, looking proud. Sirius decided not to say anything at all.

"James... do you think Remus has got me anything?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know," James replied. "But if I were you, I'd get him something anyway."

That was when it struck Sirius. He suddenly knew exactly what he was going to buy for Remus, but he had to hurry... they didn't sell them in Hogsmeade. He'd have to find another nearby town or village.

"Gotta go," he said quickly to James as he transformed into a dog and ran from the room.

He ran all the way through the school, ignoring all of the odd looks he was getting from students, and straight out of the castle.

He was going to get Remus the greatest Valentine's Day gift ever.

###