God only knows how long I was sitting on the cold stone of the cave floor. I was in the dark corner, with my hands in my hair, my elbows on my knees, looking downward with my eyes closed. I could feel the cool water of my tears seeping onto my 'hide-away' jeans.
The dress was set at the mouth of the cave after I'd found my black skinnys, baby blue tank-top, and Fang's old black hooded sweatshirt. I'd left the hood down, my blonde hair sticking out like a beacon in the darkness.
Nobody knew where I was. I crawled towards a small rock, and found my diary placed under it. I flipped to a random page. It read:
Dear Diary,
Max finally agreed to settle down. The only problem is that she's making us BUILD our own house. This is going to take forever, considering we all wanted a two story house. Iggy's been home for a couple days, and Max hasn't let him out of her sight so she can see if his 'experimentation' has side-effects. I'm glad he's home, but I have this off feeling about him, like there's something he's hiding from us. Fang and I have gotten even closer lately, that's a good thing…right? Nudge is trying to impress Iggy, and for some reason there's something weird about that.
Love,
Accelerator Ride.
I didn't remember writing this, I haven't written in this journal since forever. I found the pencil, bit the eraser and opened the journal again.
Dear Diary,
I know I haven't written in a long time, and reading all these entries I'd realized that most of them are about Iggy. I saw him kissing Nudge today in the club and for some reason I started crying. I'm still crying just thinking about it. I wish I knew what was wrong with me…Nudge loves him, and as of tonight I think he returns those feelings. I wish I knew why I feel this way…I really want to know why. Iggy's been playing me like a violin this whole time. I feel like crap.
Love,
Alex.
I put the diary back, and sat against the stone corner, I curled my knees to my chest and leaned against the wall. The tears trailed down my cheeks, to my chin, and onto my shirt. The image of Nudge and Iggy kissing ran through my mind, playing on my eyelids like a movie. I gasped for air as the tears started again.
Why do you cry? Angel whispered to me mentally.
I told you to leave me alone! I shouted weakly.
Iggy's home. He wants to find you, Alex. She whispered.
I'm not coming home. Tell him I don't want him to come looking for me. I want him to leave me alone. I half shouted, the tears starting to dry on my skin.
Do you really mean that Alex? You're not coming home? Ever? She whispered brokenly.
Maybe. That was the last word I sent before blocking out my mind to Angel.