Truths of the Father

Chapter 10

"Morgan and the team had figured it out too, and were coming with a full tactical deployment. I knew they weren't far behind me, and I was driving like a bat out of Hell hoping I'd get there in time. When the phone rang again I knew it was Foyet calling to gloat. But when your mother's voice came across the line..."

Jack watched as Aaron hunched over, wringing his hands together and clenching his eyes shut. He could hear the sob as it tried to escape his father's chest, hear the shaky uneven breaths he fought for as he tried to keep his emotional control.

"When I heard her voice," he tried again as his tears began to flow, "I knew I wasn't going to make it. And when she heard mine, she knew she wasn't meeting with another US Marshal. She knew she'd walked into a trap."

Jack closed his eyes as his tears fell. He could hear his father's sniffles as he tried to regain his composure. Jack gave up on maintaining his own. He couldn't talk, he could barely breathe. Imagining what his mother must have felt - her fear and panic, trying to protect him, standing face to face with a sick, twisted monster like George Foyet - tied his stomach in knots and made him feel nauseous. He almost missed that his father had started talking again.

"The phone was on speaker so Foyet could hear us," he spoke low, his voice gravely and full of emotion. "God, he was enjoying himself. He especially enjoyed trying to turn her against me, blaming me and my ego for her situation. He told her about the deal he'd offered me. The Shaunessey deal. I'd never told her about that. He told her that all I had to do was stop looking for him and she wouldn't be in this situation, and it was my fault she was going to die."

"He's full of shit," Jack spat, his anger temporarily overriding his sorrow.

"I spent a lot of time believing he was right. That it was my fault. But I couldn't dwell on that. You were still in that room and I had to get you out. I had to get you hidden somehow, get you someplace safe.

"I don't know if you remember this, but before your mom and I divorced I had an office upstairs next to our bedroom. There was a linen chest next to my desk where we kept spare sheets and blankets. You used to hide in there with your little flashlight. You said you were working the case with me when you were in there. We made that our code just in case there was ever trouble and we worked on it several times after that. If I ever told you I needed you to work the case with me, you would go hide in there and wait for me to come get you."

"I kind of remember that," he wiped his eyes. "It's very vague, but it's there."

"With the phone on speaker I knew you could hear me. I told you I needed you to work the case with me, and I prayed and begged and pleaded with God that you would understand what I was trying to tell you. That you would remember."

"That's when mom hugged me," he cried. "It was the tightest hug she ever gave me. That's why I remembered it. She hugged me that tight because she knew she was going to die, didn't she? She told me it was because she loved me, but she was saying goodbye."

His cries turned into sobs as his father confirmed what he'd said.

"She begged me to hurry. And all I could do was apologize for bringing this man into our lives. Apologize for everything I and this job put her through. She was still so brave," Aaron's tears fell unchecked. "She made me promise her two things. That I would tell you how we met and how I used to make her laugh. And that I teach you and show you about love. Love was the most important thing to her. It was everything.

"The gun went off seconds later. Three shots, then silence. Just like that, she was gone."

He took a shuddery breath. "I didn't tell her I loved her." Aaron buried his face in his hands as the last of his composure crumbled. "I should have told her I loved her."

Jack curled in on himself, arms wrapped tightly around his stomach. Every memory he had of his mother, what few there were, crashed into him all at once. Every day since the day he was born her focus had been on him. To love him. To teach him. To protect him. And in the end, she'd died doing exactly that. He didn't know how much more he could take.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," Jack uttered as he got up from the bench and went around to the other side of the tree, and dropped to his knees. He was wiping his mouth and his nose, sobbing uncontrollably, when he felt his father's hand on his shoulder. Aaron sat on the ground beside him and pulled him tightly to his chest. Jack gripped his father's shirt and cried harder than he ever had before.

"I'm sorry, son," Aaron said as he held him close, sobbing just as hard. "I failed her. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."