When the two had gotten back to the apartments, Gilbert had taken the pizza from Matthew to let him drag his gear up to his own apartment. The two were silent as they ascended in the elevator. Gilbert got off on his floor, leaving Matthew alone in the elevator.

"Sorry, Gil," Matthew mumbled after the elevator doors closed. As the elevator came up to his floor, he wondered if he should even go to the party in the end. He felt tired, mentally exhausted, and rather sick of thinking. Alfred was nowhere in sight, but a small scrap of paper greeted him when he slowly trudged to his door. The note stated Alfred had to go and run an errand with a friend he had forgotten about. Something about helping them move out or something. Honestly, Matthew could careless as he opened the door, letting his gear slide off his shoulders to lay on the ground randomly. He would pick them up later, he mused as he let himself plant face down on his bed.

The duvet felt nice, but suffocating, so he turned his face to see Kuma. His stuffed bear had seen a lot through the years. When he was younger there was no place Kuma had not gone with him. When they entered middle school, Alfred had protected Kuma from all the bullies, but told Matthew to leave the bear at home after one fight ended with both boys having bloody noses. Their parents had explained when others were different, bullies tended to pick on them and so it was for the best if Kuma stayed at home. Matthew had grown up thinking he had to hide himself from the rest of the world because he was quiet and soft spoken.

Sitting next to Kuma was a small stuffed bird, Gilbird, as Gilbert declared when he showed up one afternoon with the toy. Matthew loved the bird with every fiber of his being, even more so when he learned Gilbert had made the stuffed animal himself. Propping himself up on the bed, he felt the soft fabric Gilbird was made out of.

"Guess I should go. Maybe I'll feel better if I do." Matthew put the bird back in its place before forcing himself off the bed to head back down after changing into his usual red hoodie and fixed up his hair. "Wish me luck."

The party was exactly as Matthew had imagined it, except Gilbert had left Matthew on his own since the start of it. Fear gripped at Matthew, wondering if he had done something wrong, but couldn't voice out his concerns thanks to the other people in the room. Although, Matthew wondered if he would have said anything in the first place. Having a friend like Gilbert was new, and it was different than the relationship he shared with Alfred. Not wanting to mess it up on some dumb, strange, feelings he had, Matthew needed to figure out what his next step would be.

The music was soft, but gave the atmosphere a more relaxed environment for most of the other guests. Arthur came, just as promised. A beer in one hand and an almost finished slice of pizza in the other as he leaned against the wall, glaring at anyone who dared get close to him. Matthew figured he was still upset about his cooking class being revealed, but Arthur had nothing to fear from Matthew opening his mouth. One thing Matthew was rather good at, it was to keep a secret and any observations he made to himself. Still, with Feliciano hanging on Ludwig's side as he and Antonio got into an arm wrestling match, Matthew couldn't help but feel slightly like an outsider. As if the last few months of having Gilbert as a friend had never happened and he was dragged to a social event he would rather not have gone to because he was invisible to everyone around him.

"Are you alright there lad?" Arthur asked, having walked up to Matthew while he was lost in his thoughts.

"Eh? Oh, Arthur." Matthew gave a small sigh. He ran a hand through his hair, debating if he should burden Arthur even more than he already had. The man was certainly like an older brother to Matthew, but how much could he divulge to him without having the others overhear him.

"Spit it out. Obviously something is trouble you, otherwise you would be sticking to Gilbert's side like you normally do. Not that there's anything wrong with that," Arthur said, waving his hands, careful not to spill his beer, in defence.

"Normally maybe, but we haven't seen each other in weeks really and then-"

"Ha! You're not as strong as you think you are, you potato bastard." Lovino pointed at Ludwig with a smug look on his face, startling Arthur and Matthew for a moment.

Matthew and Arthur watched as Ludwig spoke low to Feliciano, who was making sure the German wasn't hurt. It was nice to see how much the two cared for each other, but Matthew knew the two had yet to confess their own feelings for each other. Ludwig certainly made exceptions to many of the rules he followed when it came to the young Italian. It was then Matthew noted Gilbert was nowhere to be seen.

"You were saying?" Arthur shook his head before taking a sip of the beer, only to scrunch up his face in disgust. "Cheap beer? That's unusual for those two. I guess they save the German beer for themselves."

"Nein, you just happened to pick out one of the last ones from the last time we partied. If I remember, you totally brought that beer, saying you were broke and couldn't afford anything else." Gilbert slung his arm around Arthur, a sly grin on his face. "So, what are you two talking about? Shouldn't you be enjoying the company of everyone else?"

Matthew stood by, ringing his wrists nervously. His heart felt heavy as he realised Gilbert had only come over here because of Arthur. Gilbert was mad about something and Matthew was terrified to find out. What if Gilbert wanted to stop being friends? His breath shortened a little as he tried to get a grip on his emotions.

"For your information, we were having a rather important conversation and it wasn't meant for you. So shove off you narcissistic arse. Besides, you're the host, you should be making sure Antonio and Ludwig don't break the table like they did last night." Arthur shoved off Gilbert's arm with his free hand, stepping slightly away from him. He took notice of Matthew's strange condition, but kept silent.

"Why don't you tell him that? I have something I need to talk with Matthew about." Gilbert lightly pushed Matthew to lead him in the opposite direction of Arthur and towards the kitchen. Arthur was about to grab for Gilbert, but the Prussian had already gotten Matthew out of his reach.

"Me? Bu-"

"Just trust me, it's nothing bad. Promise." Arthur waited until Matthew simply nodded his head before heading to the others to give them privacy. Gilbert set down his beer on the counter before propping himself on the edge. "So, want to tell me what's bother you? Normally I would wait for you to tell me, but obviously something is wrong. Even Feliciano is getting worried and you looked like you were about to like have a panic attack there."

Matthew blinked at the sudden question, having though Gilbert wanted to talk about something else entirely. "What's bothering me?"

"Ja, you've been more quiet than usual and ever since we grabbed the pizza, you sorta just stared out the window. When I asked you if you were okay, you just said "I'm fine." Which by the way is the lamest answer ever. I mean if it's something I said or did, you just need to tell me." Gilbert shrugged, his eyes staring at Matthew, giving the impression he had nothing to hide and was not about to let Matthew off the hook with some random excuse.

Matthew on the other hand, couldn't really look at Gilbert. His eyes darting from his face to the floor and back again. His emotions were a swirl of chaos, making it difficult for him to even articulate them. Maybe if he had spoken to Arthur about it first it would be a different story. He cursed himself for relying so heavily on other people. These were his emotions, he just had to get a grip on them. Taking a deep breath, he nodded his head.

"I-It's nothing you've done. I j-ju-just can't seem to understand what I'm feeling. On the bus, I hated you for not responding to a text message, and then when I saw you, I was rather happy, and then now. Seeing you with other friends, I guess." Matthew sighed.

When he said it out loud, he felt like a jerk and someone who needed to get a better grip on himself. He felt as if he was turning into a different person all because he was unsure of where their relationship was going. The internal struggle of just what Matthew wanted, and what Gilbert potentially wanted. Ever since the talk with Francis and Arthur, Matthew had spent several nights wondering if he wanted the same thing as Gilbert or not. It was hard to tell, but as he delved deeper, he found things about himself he had yet to discover. This new side of him, the jealous part, he wanted nothing to do with.

"Go on." Gilbert urged, as he crossed his arms waiting for the rest of the answer.

"I guess," Matthew said to try and start again. "I was a bit jealous. You're surrounded by all these people, and yet you hang out with me. I'm just a quiet college kid who doesn't do anything but hit the books and plays hockey." Matthew, glances back to see the rest of the groups were still talking happily to one another, enjoying their pizza.

"Matthew."

Matthew shuts his eyes, waiting for the worst to come from Gilbert, about just how much of an idiot he was for even thinking he could be someone worth more than just a flower on the wall. He was never meant to stand out in the crowds, or to really find himself. He was supposed to only do what society wanted of him, not to go against it. Gilbert would never want to see him ever again and at the moment, Matthew couldn't blame him. He felt like the lowliest of creatures, wanting nothing more than to crawl into a hole somewhere to never come out again. Perhaps it would have been for the best if he had just kept to himself instead of trying to delude himself that he could have friends and actually have a life worth living. But now, he resigned himself to just live a boring life; one where he wasn't happy at all. Instead he felt a tap on his head, to which he rapidly blinked and saw a smirk on Gilbert's face. Gilbert had hit him with the edge of his beer bottle, but only enough to grab his attention.

"Dummkopf. You should have come to me sooner. Jealousy is a natural reaction you know, especially if that person is close to you. As for your worth, I'd paid your weight in gold and then some. Just because you don't see how awesome you are, doesn't mean others can't. So stop with the self-loathing and self-pity for a moment. Enjoy the company of the others around you and remember one thing Matthew Williams."

Gilbert set his beer bottle on the counter before stepping closer to Matthew. The two looked at each other, Gilbert only slightly shorter than Matthew. Under normal circumstances, Matthew would have turned bright red, or even tried to put to some distance between them, but not this time. Matthew stood there, quiet, in shock. Perhaps there was some merit to what Gilbert said. It wasn't until Gilbert tugged at his collar to bring him down low enough to kiss his forehead that Matthew started to regain the feeling of his body enough to blush.

"Never forget, when I said I would wait for you, I meant it."

The deed done, Gilbert stepped back to grab his beer and went back to the party.

I apologise for 'disappearing', but I was backed up in school work and a few other matters. Thank-you so much for all the reviews and the favourites and subscriptions. It certainly made my day to see them all! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'll try to write more on a schedule to get more of this out. Thanks for all the support.

Any criticism, comments, and reviews are welcome.