A shining hot light glares in my face I can hear voices; I try to open my eyes but a sharp pain in my head forces them closed again. I focus on my other senses instead starting with hearing, Focus on the voices I think, who are they and what do they want with me?

"She should make a full recovery but we need to ensure it doesn't happen again" I don't know the voice but it's male and has a hint of the capitol dialect all be it in a more serious tone.

"I just wish I'd been told of these issues earlier" Scolds another voice, I do know that one it's that after care lady I've been to see all of the once, back when they used to pretend they cared. I wonder what issues she's referring to "We could have sorted it there and then, not let it get out of control like this".

"I'm sorry Vita but I thought she'd sort herself out, it never seemed that big of a deal, she's always been so strong" This voice is sad and broken; It's Silk, she's come to rescue me!

Sillk! I try to cry but no sound comes, maybe I'm in a coma, maybe I'll never wake up, I try and manage to wiggle my toes, maybe I'm just sleepy.

I let myself drift off to sleep again and awake to a quiet and darker room.

This time when I try to open my eyes it works with minimum pain and I can see my surroundings. Plain white walls, machines flickering and moving, there are wires and tubes sticking into my body. I try to sit up and fight my way out but find myself tied down to the bed.

"Help" I cry my voice sounds raspy, cracked and dry "Let me go! Don't you know who I am?"

Footsteps echo down the hall and the door of the small room flies open "Diamond you're awake" says the short man stood before me, he's on the pudgy side with long wispy blue hair and wears small blue rimmed glasses. He looks like a capitol man though he's not dressed in one, he wears a long white coat covered in buttons and badges around his neck is draped a long tool of some kind.

"What are you supposed to be" I hiss struggling against my restraints. I feel different to before, I feel angry, scared and wild. I feel alive.

"I'm your doctor Diamond, I'm here to help" his voice remains calm, too calm. What does he want from me!

"I don't need your help, I need my pills!" I scream, he's lying anyway doctors don't look like that, they look frazzled and tired, they are the men and women we trust. I don't trust this man.

"Your pills are why your here Diamond, you had what we call an overdose" he steps slowly towards me as he speaks slowly "You collapsed as Masons party a week ago and were brought here. We discovered you had a deadly mix of alcohol and drugs in your system, had you not been brought in. You could have died."

"Maybe that's what I wanted" I mutter, not really sure what I was saying, that night was all a blur. Yes I took my pills, yes I drank a lot but did I really do it to hurt myself? Why does it even matter to this man, I groan in anger as I continue to fight against my restraints.

"Then that's an even bigger problem Diamond" he says as he steps around my bed slowly, he looks at the machines and nods and mutters as if understanding what the waving lines and lights actually meant. "Well as your vitals seem fine I think I can turn you over to your psychiatrist" he tells me.

"My what?" I ask with a scowl, but he doesn't answer just hurries out of the room.

It turned out that Vita was my psychiatrist whatever that was supposed to be, she comes in shortly after a frown on her face "Doctor Lime tells me your incident may not have been accidental" she stays standing at the foot of my bed.

"I took four happy pills then drank myself silly. Can I go home now?" I wriggle my wrists carefully against my restraints trying to loosen them.

"Soon Diamond" she says pulling a chair towards my bed and sitting down "First we need to have a little talk"

"I'd feel more comfortable talking if I wasn't strapped to this bed" I tell her

"It's for your own safety" she tells me, more lies, it's for theirs "When did you stop taking the pills I prescribed?" she asks

"I don't remember" I scoff, if their lying to me I can return the act

"Do you remember when you first started taking the other drugs?" she continues

"No"

"Who gave you them?"

"Anyone who I asked to", my eyes dart around the room looking for an escape route.

"Who gave you them first?"

"I don't remember"

"What do you remember?"

"Everything" I smirk at the woman, she's not getting a thing out of me, they can't keep me here forever, soon I'll be allowed to go home.

Vita stands up the chair scraping on the floor as she pushed it away from her. "I'll come back when you're willing to talk"

"I'll talk when you un-strap me you bitch" I call after her "You can't keep me here I've not done anything illegal" I call after her "All I did was keep myself from murdering those people, keep myself from feeling like I do now!" I continue to fight against the restraints till I feel too weak to continue.

I expect Silk to come in next, to tell me everything will be okay, but she doesn't appear, the only other visitor I get that day is an Avox who tries to feed me, I refuse to eat and cause her to become covered in the food, she scowls at me and shakes her head slightly.

"I'll report you for that Avox" I tell her "you'll be sweeping the streets this time tomorrow" she scarpers quickly after that.

The day seeps into night and I try to sleep but I can't stop thinking about why I'm here. Yes I know Dad and Daria were mad about the pills but they are old, either having never been or being out of touch with the Capitol and its ways.

Then there was Castor and Pollux the twins who gave me the pills they made me laugh made me smile, made me feel happy and excited in the sea of old and disgusting men who had me so often. Seeing their young faces as I entered the room where our business took place made me happy.

Why would they give me something that harmed me? They loved me.

The night drags on as I lay strapped to this bed but I don't sleep. I wait till its late and then I begin screaming. Screaming and shouting and yelling I planned to wake up the whole building cause them all to run in and rescue me but no help comes.

The next morning I am just drifting off to sleep exhausted with the screaming when the door opens, the sounds of the hospital fly around my room and jerk me awake.

"GO AWAY!" I yell turning my head away from the door so I can't see who just disturbed my sleep.

"It's a big day for you Diamond" Vita croons "We're going to make you better" there is an underling threat in her words, mostly because I know I'll have little choice in the matter. I keep my eyes screwed shut as she continues to talk.

"We discussed it this morning, your doctor and I and decided it would be best for you to remain the capitol a bit longer, we will help your recovery much more with constant contact. It'll be much healthier for all involved in the process."

"Where's Silk?" I ask, trying to regain the anger I had yesterday.

"She's around I think" she replies casually "But I don't want you to worry about her or anyone else. This time is for you and me only."

There's a tap on the door and I look over as it slowly opens an Avox stands at the door, not the one I yelled at yesterday but another one, a stronger looking one.

"Come in yes" says Vita in a strained voice, "I need you to un-strap Diamond and then help me escort her to the bathroom" I guess it's just her, me and anyone who's on her side then.

The woman nods and I allow her to un-strap me from the bed, she removed the restraints completely and puts them away. I climb out of bed a little too fast and find myself stumbling a moment causing me to grab onto the Avox for support.

She glares at me for a moment before relaxing her eyes again, becoming passive again.

"Thank you" I say quietly as I steady myself, at this moment in time I realise I am as trapped as she is. I suddenly feel a bit guilty for yelling at the Avox yesterday, she was only doing as she'd been told.

She help me along to a door on the other side of the room that opens up into a concealed bathroom, a quick scan shows me there isn't even a window to escape through. The Avox helps me take off my hospital gown and turns on the shower with a flick of a switch.

She then thankfully leaves me alone.

I stand there for a moment watching the water flow out of the ceiling and breathe slowly.

I assess the situation, I am trapped, I am ill, I need help, that's what they are telling me after all.

But if it is true I know one thing for certain, I don't want that help to come from Vita or the doctors.

But who do I want?

I step into the flow of the water and feel instantly refreshed, the doctor said yesterday that I'd been asleep for a week after Mason's party, I wonder if Dads okay, he must be sick with worry back home. Or maybe he's forgotten me maybe he's happier now he has Jewel the daughter I could never be.

I slide onto the floor of the shower and let the water wash over me, maybe it'll wash my troubles away. Maybe I'll drown.

There is a bang on the door and the Avox steps into the room followed by Vita.

"What are you doing" she demands before I even get a chance to cover my nudity "get up and get dressed we need to talk"

I stand up and let the Avox wrap me in a luxurious warm gown before leaving me alone with Vita again.

She'd set up two chairs in the centre of the room, facing each other "Sit" she tells me as she sits on the chair that faces the window.

I decide not to obey her and walk over to the window instead, looking out there doesn't seem to be a way of opening it, and it also appears that I am on the fifth floor. I was at least hoping to discover where in the capitol I was but my view is of nothing but the blank wall of the next building. The centre then where the buildings are packed tightly together, though where I still don't know.

"Don't sit then" she says "Do you realise you're not getting out of here until you co-operate Diamond"

"I realise" I answer, turning away from the window and leaning against it, I can feel the cold glass on my back it makes a nice change to the warm sheets and robe.

"Then tell me about the pills." She crosses one leg over the other and stares at me,

"Do you know what happens to pretty victors Vita?" I ask "Do you know what they do to us, do you and Demica meet up and laugh and joke as I lay and take what I'm given"

"I don't know Demica Le May personally no, but I know her business" she replies, I scowl, I hadn't expected her to be so honest.

"Then you shouldn't have to ask any more questions of me" Her surprising honestly won't get to me that easy.

She looks at me for a moment and nibbles her lip in concentration "Who gave you the pills Diamond?" she ask eventually she doesn't get it. She never will.

"You did" I tell her "You sent me those sleeping pills but they were too strong, they we're only for night time. Then I was offered another pill it was pretty much the same but it worked all the day, it kept me cool and collected. It stopped me from hurting anyone who I shouldn't hurt."

"Like who?"

"Everyone, the men I slept with, Demica Le May, my family, my friends."

"Do you have many friends Diamond?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"It has a lot to do with your recovery, the type of support network you have" she tells me, she sounds like she's quoting from a book, I never pictured anyone in the capitol being smart enough to read a book, never mind quoting one.

I don't answer her straight away but pull myself away from the window and walk over to the other side of the room where a shelf filled with tools and bottles and sheets of paper lay, Vita keeps quiet as I move a few of the bottles around. She's waiting for an answer but I can't think of one to give, I can't list Silk as a friend they might send her home then she'll never save me.

"Well there's Jewel" I say eventually

"She lives with you and your father correct?"

"Yeah at the moment"

"You feel like this is going to change?"

"I don't know"

"Why?"

"Why do you keep asking all these stupid questions. Look if I just promise to stop taking the pills can I go home?!"

"No" she states simply before pausing she seems to think for a moment before continuing "It's bigger than that and you and I know it, You need to get to the point of your problem"

We seem to be on a level now, I tell her something she wants to hear and she'll respond with something I want to hear. The truth is meaningless.

"How's your mother?" she asks another question of me before I can even think of something to ask her.

"Why do people keep bringing that bitch up" I moan as I cross my arms and start to pace around the room again.

"It was a major turning point in your games Diamond, when you admitted to Clos..." I wince at the sound of him name but she acts as if she hadn't noticed "...who you were, you were also admitting to yourself and that you haven't continued with that is a problem" she finishes her lecture without missing a beat.

"I don't want to meet her because I know she doesn't want to meet me" I find myself being open with Vita again "I was never loved by her and then I killed her pride and joy, you don't understand, you can't understand" I sigh.

There is more silence as I continue to pace walking behind Vita to the door of the room, I'm tempted to try to door but this whole talking thing seems to be the only way out of here, if I was to run now then I'd probably just be strapped back to that bed. Vita seems unable to reply to my admission about my Mother and it gets to the point where even I can't remember if I told her the truth or not.

"I'm hungry" I try another tactic "Could we get an Avox to bring some food?"

"Of course dear" Vita smiles and stands before gracefully gliding out of the room, I sigh deeply and take my few moments of freedom to try and think clearly, it's hard. I sway slightly as I scrunch my eyes closed, focus I think, Focus!

The door to my rooms swings back open and Vita marches back in this time followed by yet another Avox pushing a cart filled with food that makes my mouth salivate.

"Tuck in" she smiles and I obey, she leaves me alone again as I eat the food that they have brought me, unsure of what will happen to me now.